Slamming the door on Jehovah
The Age, Australia/March 15, 2013
By Chris Johnston
She is an apostate, which sounds like a strange disease, and in many ways it is. According to the Jehovah's Witnesses, Bec Taylor of Traralgon, since she escaped from them, is unable to have a life worth living.
In 2011, The Watch-tower, the scripture magazine for the bizarre yet outwardly benign Christian sect, described those who abandon the church as "mentally diseased" outcasts, or apostates, who "seek to infect others with their disloyal teachings".
They can be "shunned" – cut off from their families and, according to ex-members, subjected to bullying, threats, harassment and stalking to lure them back. Families are told that if they mix with their apostate children, they are traitors too.
Even minor infringements within the Jehovah's Witnesses such as smoking can result in "disfellowshipping", and disfellowshipped people can also be shunned.
Critics of the religion call the practice psychologically and emotionally harmful.
Many ex-members do not speak publicly for fear of reprisals. But not Taylor, 29. She was a Jehovah's Witness in South Australia and then Queensland for most of her life until just a few months ago. She was born into them. Now she cannot speak to her family and was not invited to her late mother's wedding.
Her story covers two most troubling aspects of the religion she calls the "Jo-Ho's" – shunning and the harm it can cause and, more disturbing still, persistent allegations of sexual abuse and even paedophilia by church elders and members.
Victoria's current state inquiry into how churches handle child sex abuse has submissions from former Jehovah's Witnesses.
One includes allegations from four states including rape, sexual assault, blackmail and death threats. There will also be a national royal commission.
"I don't need an apology from them," says Taylor, "and I don't need their love or forgiveness."
She has started an arts degree in anthropology. Education is discouraged within the sect. "It is my final victory over them," she says. "It is a giant f--- you."
Taylor says she grew up in a dysfunctional family and was sexually abused as a child by a teenage boy who was not a Jehovah's Witness. This was in remote South Australia. She says her mother, a devout but erratic Witness – she never knew her father – was also abused as a child and nothing was done or reported, so the pattern continued.
The church's rule for dealing with complaints or suspicions of sexual abuse is that generally there must be two witnesses. The Jehovah's Witnesses consider they are the only ones who know the truth, or "The Truth"; they are suspicious of government, police and media when it conflicts with their doctrine.
British sociologist and author Andrew Holden, who has written books on the religion's culture, calls this a "world-renouncing" approach. Members are not allowed to vote, celebrate Christmas or birthdays, get blood transfusions, sing the national anthem or salute a flag.
But, also, if a member or an elder hears of illegal behaviour, such as abuse or violence, it is usually kept internal. "To protect Jehovah's name," says an insider.
Taylor says in her teens she was again sexually assaulted, this time by a devout Witness. Nothing was ever reported to police. Taylor says she stayed with the church because she had low self-esteem and the Jehovah's Witnesses offered her some hope: "the illusion of a better life," she says. "I didn't want to break Jehovah's heart."
She began caring for her ill mother, was baptised as a Witness and doorknocked every day to fulfil a quota set for her of 90 hours a month. Doorknocking, also known as "pioneering" or "publishing", is the recruitment front line; most Australians have answered their door to a pair of Witnesses offering The Watchtower or Awake! magazines.
By the age of 18, Taylor, a smart and feisty young woman, had begun working as a South Australian advocate for Young Carers Australia and had contributed to policy developed by senator Amanda Vanstone, the then Minister for Family and Community Services. Taylor was also offered work experience and training as a journalist with ABC radio in Renmark. But she says "pressure and hatred" from her fellow Witnesses, and suspicion of her being too educated or upwardly mobile, forced her to turn down the offers in order to stay door-to-door preaching. She got a part-time job cleaning toilets instead.
The Jehovah's Witnesses are puritanical Christians who think they have God's messages to themselves. Only they are "in the Truth". They have 8 million members worldwide and 64,000 in Australia, in 800 "congregations" or parishes located in "Kingdom Halls".
The religion's proper name is the Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society. It was founded by American draper Charles Russell in 1872. They believe in the end of the world and also the paradise beyond and have predicted five times that Christ would come again to signal it. The last time this happened was 1975. More than 1 million devotees abandoned them in the following six years. In America the Jehovah's Witness have the lowest retention rate of all religions.
They also believe Satan has ruled the earth since 1914. The only way to make things better is by creating a heavenly kingdom on earth of a small number of believers. The Jehovah's Witness' trait of being aloof and "separate" comes from this idea that Satan runs things, so the best way to survive is to avoid society.
Membership has flatlined against population growth in most developed countries. The reach of the internet has had a big impact as whistleblower groups, ex-Witness forums, websites, "leaks" sites and negative publicity abounds.
The church is run by a "governing body" in Brooklyn, New York. In Australia there is a headquarters for the "branch committee" where all the senior officials live, in Ingleburn in the southern suburbs of Sydney. It is known as "Bethel".
Former "ministerial servant" (a trainee church elder) Paul Grundy, of Sydney, lived there for four years in the 1990s. "It's like a big four-star hotel," he says. Another former member who visited Bethel says: "It's nice, but it's like a bubble. They walk around like robots." People involved in the church's administration, publishing business and legal affairs live there too, about 400 people in total. The Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society of Australia is a public company; the directors are president Harold "Viv" Mouritz, vice-president Donald MacLean, Gordon King, Terrence O'Brien and Winston Payne.
Mouritz, who was born in Nagambie in country Victoria, is aged 86. MacLean, a Canadian, is 90. Company records show the company's income for the 2011 tax year was nearly $19 million and mostly came from donations. It earned nearly $350,000 in interest.
There is no suggestion the directors directly profited. Insiders say they live frugally and money is spent on investment properties. Every country's branch committee is answerable to the cabal in Brooklyn, who they believe God communicates through, but within each country the national branch committee, local elders and more senior men called overseers are authoritative. Elders can form judicial committees to investigate either each other or members of the congregation.
Kingdom Halls are plainly decorated, like school classrooms, with no iconography or adornment. Congregations meet twice a week to listen to Biblical passages. The structure for disciples to live by is uniform and rigid. Moral conservatism (anti-gay, anti-abortion, no sex before marriage) is strictly enforced.
The British sociologist Andrew Holden says the church has a "quasi-totalitarian" approach in which converts "defer unquestioningly to the authority of those who are appointed to enforce its doctrine". The individual, he says, "becomes the property of the whole community".
To defect is to embrace Satan because Satan lurks outside the church's insular micro-communities. Homosexuality, drug addiction and disease are used as warnings of what can become of the apostate. It is considered a betrayal and heresy to want to leave, which is why the practice of "shunning" plays such a large and controversial part in the lives of those, like Traralgon's Bec Taylor, who are connected to the religion.
The director of Cult Counselling Australia, Raphael Aron, a psychologist, says the Jehovah's Witnesses are not a cult. However, they "display symptoms common to numerous cults" with "a warped view" of family.
From his office in the Melbourne suburb of Caulfield, he counsels ex-members and also families trying to regain contact with those lost to the sect. He says the Witnesses appear as "almost mainstream" but some of their practices appear to be "draconian, cruel and callous".
For a Christian religion, he says, they lack a "spiritual touch" and also lack tolerance and acceptance. "Shunning means that any member who chooses to leave the church for their own personal reasons will be totally cut off from the family that remains there – zero contact with parents, children, siblings, aunts, uncles or grandparents for the rest of their lives."
Aron says new recruits are often unaware they will go without birthdays and Christmas. "It's a religion without a soul." A young person flirting with the religion can suddenly find him or herself offered accommodation – a sharehouse or a flat – with Witnesses. Young disciples can be physically moved far from their parents, interstate or overseas.
Shunning comes in many guises. I met a man in his mid-40s now living in country Victoria who says when he was a teenage Jehovah's Witness in Queensland in the 1980s, he confessed to having the beginnings of a consensual but frowned-upon sexual relationship – fondling – with a teenage girl in the same congregation.
An elder ordered that he sit in a glass room at the back of the Kingdom Hall at every meeting, twice a week, for four months, for two hours at a time. The glass room was called the fish bowl and members of the congregation were allowed to humiliate him while he was in there. The man says the same elder had sexually assaulted both him and his brother.
Another middle-aged woman, from Melbourne, says that among people she grew up with in the church there was a "conscious class" – she knows about 40 – who only attend so they can keep seeing their families.
They do not believe in the teachings any more but live a complex lie in order to maintain family ties. The woman, who would not give her name for fear of retribution, wants to "break the cycle" for her own children and last year held a secret Christmas at her home for them.
She was baptised into a congregation in Melbourne's south-east despite that congregation later being exposed by Channel Nine for harbouring men – one later convicted of paedophilia offences – involved in sexual abuse and domestic violence.
Another country Victorian man (and ex-Witness) says when two young girls were abused by the older son of a local elder, the elder was moved to another congregation on the fringes of Melbourne.
Congregations in NSW and SA have also held convicted paedophiles. Meanwhile, in Melbourne, a former elder, Richard Hill, recently faced court charged with two counts of indecent assault on a six-year-old girl in 1981.Police and ex-Jehovah's Witness sources say congregations on the Gold Coast and Adelaide and in Cranbourne, Skye, Traralgon and Langwarrin in Victoria remain a concern.
The church's spokesman in Australia, solicitor Vincent Toole, says if the church knew of an elder committing or covering up child sexual abuse he would be removed "from serving in that capacity".
"Witnesses abhor child abuse and consider the protection of children to be of the utmost importance," he says. He also says shunning is a myth and that baptised members who drift away are not treated badly.
Toole supplied a statement from the Frequently Asked Questions on the Jehovah's Witnesses website which reads in part: "We reach out to them and try to rekindle their spiritual interest."
He said the religion did not have a distrust of the wider community but that "the permanent solution to humankind's problems ultimately rests with God's government".
A Victoria Police taskforce, Sano, is investigating allegations of abuse and cover-ups within church groups on behalf of the Victorian government inquiry into the church's handling of such allegations.
One allegation before Sano and also the Victorian Health Services Commissioner is that a Traralgon elder was allegedly able to get into a young girl's hospital ward at Latrobe Regional Hospital in Gippsland without the permission of the girl's parents and without the right access cards.
"The complaint raised with us by the Health Services Commissioner in connection with the Latrobe Regional Hospital has nothing to do with sexual abuse," Toole said.
"We have never heard of taskforce Sano."
Whistleblower Steven Unthank, meanwhile, a carpenter and ex-Witness from Toongabbie in Gippsland, has given the Victorian parliamentary inquiry a submission claiming his family were persecuted after he tried to tackle child abuse. He says the church has covered up widespread abuse and violence over four decades.
"It is a paedophiles' paradise," he says. Unthank has also waged a long campaign to make elders and door-to-door preachers get Working With Children police checks, which the church has now begun to comply with.
In Traralgon, Bec Taylor says she is now a "work in progress" after cutting all ties late last year with her "brainwashed" family and with the church she once loved and pledged loyalty to. She had found herself living in Brisbane, worshipping at the Newfarm congregation and working in a call centre.
She was mugged early one morning walking to work. It took a month for anyone from her congregation to telephone, she says. Then when she finally went back to the church and had a massive panic attack, an elder drove her to hospital and dropped her at the door.
Suffering from post-traumatic stress and the effects of being abused as a child, she ideated suicide alongside the Brisbane River several times. Again, no support from her fellow Witnesses. And that was that. She began to quit, was ostracised further by her family, then quit entirely and moved states.
Too many cover-ups, she says, too little compassion.
"At least now I can say what I hear in my head is actually coming from my own head. I just hope others start to speak out too."
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LGBT Ex-Jehovah's Witnesses Find a Common Bond
Edge, Boston/June 1, 2012
By Francisco L. White
The worldwide organization of Jehovah's Witnesses, also known as the Watch Tower and Bible Tract Society, is a truly unique Christian denomination; its members do not vote, they do not accept blood transfusions and they do not recognize or celebrate holidays. But when a member of the congregation comes out as LGBT, the international network A Common Bond is there to provide support.
"The more my eyes have opened and seen the broader picture, the more I have come to the conclusion that ACB serves a huge need," said Larry Kirkwood, a Houston asset liquidator who is the president of A Common Bond. "When we are outed or come out, we are forced out of and away from everything we know. We are taught to fear 'the world' and everyone in it, and are scared from being told how cold and cruel it is. ACB bridges that gap...[and shows us that] the world is not as cold, cunning and cruel as the picture was painted."
A remarkable attribute of Jehovah's Witnesses is their claim of political neutrality and their disassociation from "the world," meaning any person or aspect of society that is not adherent to "the truth," that being the word of God according to their New World Translation and interpretation of the Bible.
But like so many other religious groups, Jehovah's Witnesses condemn homosexuality. More specifically, the issue of marriage equality has been raised in one of their independent publications, "Awake!," which is personally distributed door-to-door in countries and localities that allow such solicitation.
With the presence of Jehovah's Witnesses in hundreds of nations, including those in which LGBTQ persons are denied equal rights or even persecuted (such as Zimbabwe), one might wonder to what extent the organization encourages or even creates anti-gay sentiment that influences such political climates. This also warrants consideration of the unique experiences of LGBTQ individuals who either are or have been affiliated with the Jehovah's Witnesses.
Kirkwood said that a Common Bond, established in 1980, is an international network of LGBTQ ex-Jehovah's Witnesses and those who are still connected to the organization. He said he joined the organization more than a decade ago. Three years ago, he formed a board and organized ACB into a non-profit. Later that year, he was elected as president.
Since the establishment of ACB, the organization has remained somewhat elusive and uninvolved in the political struggle for LGBTQ equality. And according to the group's website, their mission is not to retaliate against the Watchtower organization, "although we do recognize that we are called such things as 'an abomination,' 'abhorrent,' etc. in their literature, and we know that many of you are now shunned by your families and Witness friends." The group said that their basic purpose was to help guide members to a life of happiness and self-acceptance.
"ACB is not a politically motivated organization with any agenda. We strictly provide support and friendship to anyone who is or once was affiliated with the Jehovah's Witness organization," said Kirkwood. "We aren't here to tell people what to think or to guide them. We merely provide that support and friendship, nothing more. We do our best to keep in contact through an online Yahoo Group, Facebook, private emails, and connect people with others closest to them."
But the Jehovah's Witnesses don't appear to be as neutral as their tenets assert. On the official website of The Watchtower Society, the most prominently displayed article is "Does God Approve of Same-Sex Marriage," from the April 8, 2005 issue of "Awake!" This raises the question of why a religious organization that claims political neutrality would choose to highlight an article from seven years ago that has such relevance in today's political climate.
"Lets be honest; they are anything but neutral," said Kirkwood, whose memoir, "What Lies Within," chronicles his difficult coming-out process. "They take stands against other religions. They stand against families, and loved ones, if they feel they might be undermined...they can claim to be neutral, but that's a lie. They are told kings and priests walk amongst them with a heavenly hope, that they are God's warriors and when called upon will die for him if needed. That doesn't sound so neutral to me."
Another belief and practice of the Jehovah's Witnesses is called disfellowshipping, which the official media site clarifies, noting that, "If someone unrepentantly practices serious sins...he will be disfellowshipped and such an individual is avoided by former fellow worshippers."
"This is permanent psychological damage to anyone [who is] cast aside like a piece of trash," said Kirwood. "When you are forced out of religion, losing not only your religious convictions, but your family and friends, this causes extreme abandonment issues."
When asked what he feels is the most important work of ACB, he said, "The greatest thing we can give to anyone who feels abandoned or alone, fresh out of the organization, is friendship, maybe a shoulder to cry on, an earful of advice on how to move on with their life, connect them to others, and make sure they know they are not alone."
A Common Bond also provides support through annual conferences; this year's will be held in New Orleans. Previous conferences have featured lawyers who provided advice about legal protections for LGBTQ individuals and couples, plus licensed therapists and counselors. Kirkwood said that this year, in New Orleans, the focus would be on developing friendships, connecting with others who think and talk just like we do, adding "It's a horrible thing to think you're all alone. ACB is here to let those with commonality know....you're not alone. We are everywhere."
"I have heard their stories and it's exactly like mine. Different place, different face but the story is always the same," said Kirkwood. "I cry with them, laugh with them, sometimes they listen to me, sometimes I listen to them. But there has not been one face that I have not connected with when I met them. There's something special about an ex-JW. I feel their losses, the hurt inside, even when it's masked with a smiling face."
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Family ties cut for ex-Jehovah's Witness from Wells
BBC/January 24, 2011
A 24-year-old man has spoken of his sadness and frustration leaving the Jehovah's Witness which has resulted in him losing all contact with his family.
When Nathan Phillips decided to leave he was told by the elders that he would be disfellowshipped immediately.
He said: "It does make me feel very angry, not with the people so much and not with mum but the way the religion works."
The elders in Wells and his family have refused to comment about the issue.
Smoking and drinking
Nathan was disfellowshipped by the Jehovah's Witness in May 2009. Prior to this, he had stopped attending meetings for six months because he had stopped believing in the faith.
"My beliefs had changed; my views had changed - it just wasn't for me."
He had also taken up smoking and drinking.
Smoking goes against the rulings of the faith and although drinking alcohol is permitted, it is only allowed in moderation.
Each congregation of the Jehovah's Witness has a group of elders who are regarded as spiritually mature and are responsible for leading the congregation.
"I was called into a judicial committee of three elders.
"They sit in front of you like a panel and asked me questions to see if I had been smoking or drinking - basically they sent me out the room and when I came back in they said they'd decided to disfellowship me.
"Obviously I did explain to them about the impact this would have on my family but none of that was taken into consideration.
"It was a shock to begin with, and I hoped it would turn itself around, but they believe it so much I don't think it ever will."
'Upside down'
Nathan was brought up in the Jehovah's Witness faith and had been baptised at the age of 15.
After being disfellowshipped, all contact with his friends and his mother's side of the family ceased despite his efforts to stay in contact with them.
"It's turned my life upside down really. It's like losing your mum in a way because I have no contact at all.
"It affected my work and it took me quite a few months to get back on track but I've kind of got my head around the fact that's what it's going to be."
Now Nathan hopes to shed light about the religion.
"There's a lot of nice people in the witnesses, I'd never bad mouth them. Jehovah's Witnesses are very well-known for knocking on people's doors and for speaking to people out in the streets and they always come across as being very nice people.
"But what people don't realise is this part of it [disfellowshipping process] and how it goes on behind closed doors."
Wrong reasons
Nathan said he did not believe the situation would change and recently met with the elders.
"About three months ago I arranged a meeting with the judicial committee again and pleaded with them really that I was finding it very hard and thought that I could cope with it but couldn't and they said the only thing I could do was come back.
"Again I explained to them I was coming back for the wrong reasons and the only reason I wanted to come back was to be able to see my family but they said there was nothing they could do."
BBC Somerset asked his mother and family for a comment but they refused, as did the elders in Wells.
A spokesman for the Jehovah's Witness headquarters in London said Nathan's situation was a "private matter" between him and his mother.
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JW Response: Man who killed parents "not, never has been" a Jehovah's Witness
Armenia Now/November 17, 2010
By Gayane Mkrtchyan
Armenia's Jehovah's Witness officials are vehemently protesting the linkage of a recent patricide in Armenia with the religious group after a barrage of criticism and disparaging reports were spread in the local media.
An Armenia representative of Jehovah's Witness - viewed skeptically as a cult or a sect, but themselves claiming to adhere truly to the Bible and best known for door-to-door proselytizing - has strongly denied that the 23-year-old man who killed his two parents in the town of Sevan on November 8 is or has ever been a member of the organization (which claims 10,500 members and 24,000 followers in Armenia).
The man, Arman Torosyan, allegedly said he committed the double murder "fulfilling the commandment of Jehovah."
The case - and especially the alleged link of the suspected criminal with Jehovah's Witnesses - caused an uproar in Armenia and was widely covered by the local media, with follow-up TV talk shows, teleconferences, press conferences of psychologists, sociologists, clergy and generally "people concerned about the influence of decadent cults" in Armenia staged in its wake.
ArmeniaNow also reported news on the suspected double murder that within a few days attracted scores of comments (critical or supportive of Jehovah's Witnesses). That report quickly became the most "read, commented or emailed" story on the current website, revealing the controversy that exists around the issue.
In a rare letter sent to Armenian media, and ArmeniaNow in particular, on Tuesday the Jehovah's Witnesses organization said the man suspected of murdering his parents "is not a Jehovah's Witness, has never been one and has nothing to do with Jehovah's Witnesses."
The letter signed by the head of the local JW Board Chairman H. Keshishyan further stresses that "Jehovah's Witnesses respect their parents, value life, therefore for them depriving another person of his or her life or commit suicide is an unacceptable idea. And they also respect other people's rights and dignity."
Soon after the reports came about the crime in Sevan Armenia's Ombudsman Armen Harutyunyan urged media to stop presenting the suspect as a Jehovah's witness.
The Ombudsman's office said the details of the case would be clear only after the completion of the ongoing investigation.
Earlier, media picked up unverified claims and reports quoting Torosyan's neighbors as saying he was known as a "Jehovah's Witness" and constantly had quarrels with his parents - Khachik Torosyan, 64, and Marietta Torosyan, 57.
The letter disseminated by the Jehovah's Witnesses organization also particularly stresses that they are not a sect, but are "a Christian religious organization registered in the Republic of Armenia on the state level."
While the church is constitutionally separated from the state in Armenia, the country's Basic Law still recognizes the "exceptional role of the Armenian Apostolic Church as national Church in the Armenian people's spiritual life, development of national culture and preservation of national identity."
The Church, meanwhile, regards Jehovah's Witnesses and other religious groups registered in Armenia as sects.
Surb Hovhannes (St. John) Church priest Ter Shmavon Ghevondyan says in any country where there is a traditional church, other religious organizations are considered to be sects.
"A sect is a sect no matter how hard you try not to call it one. They act like petty looters during a disaster, looters who want to get as much as they can during the time of trouble," he says.
There are no verified data on the number of people who adhere to religious denominations other than Armenian Orthodox Christian in Armenia. Some sociologists in recent days have claimed the number of such people in Armenia could be as high as hundreds of thousands.
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Murder in God's Name: Son says he killed parents according to Jehovah's command
Armenia Now/November 11, 2010
By Gayane Mkrtchyan
The murder of two parents by their own son, who is a member of Jehovah's Witnesses sect, caused heated public discussions in Armenia.
Arman Torosyan, 23, killed his parents - 64-year-old Khachik Torosyan and 57-year-old Marietta Torosyan in their apartment in Sevan, as he says, "fulfilling the commandment of Jehovah."
A criminal case was filed according to the Article of the Criminal Code of Armenia ("murder of two or more people") in Sevan.
The murderer must undergo a psychiatric examination; meanwhile a new wave of complaints against sects and the negative impact of their activities upon people rose in Yerevan.
'Yerevan-Moscow-Tbilisi-Kiev' teleconference, held on Wednesday, discussed the issue of the real threats sects carry, and the means of struggle against them.
According to Alexander Amaryan, head of Center for Rehabilitation and Assistance to Victims of Destructive Cults, the number of people involved in sects in Armenia reaches 368,000.
"The main goal of sectarian organizations is the 'reprocessing' of people. There are no corresponding specialists in Armenia; there are no independent centers, which may carry out a struggle against preachers," Amaryan says.
Psychiatrist Aram Hovsepyan, technical coordinator of the Armenian Psychiatric Association, says that murder and suicide cases, committed under the influence of sects, increases (even though there are no official data).
"Such patients develop a kind of disorder of mental dependency upon other people," Hovsepyan says. "We have acute psychotic disorders, which lead people to unconscious aggressive actions."
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When religion is the bully
The Washington Post/November 7, 2010
By Joel P. Engardio
The news of gay teen suicides this fall made me think of my college friend Jeff. When I heard he was depressed and struggling with being gay, I wanted to say it gets better. But I didn't know if it would. I was also gay and too afraid to tell him. Nothing I saw in 1992 gave me any hope. There was no "Glee," no "Ellen" on TV to counter the politicians and religious leaders who demonized me in prime time. Even the Brady Bunch dad had died of AIDS.
We both liked playing tennis, so that's what we did instead of talking about our pain. Then one night Jeff jumped off a parking garage. He was 19.
Gay kids are made to feel worthless from a variety of sources: religion, the culture, bullies at school. I don't know which of these Jeff internalized. For me, it was religious-based shame.
My mom is one of Jehovah's Witnesses and when I told her I was gay, she mourned as if I had died. Not being able to see her son in God's Kingdom was a devastating thought. Many religions share the same belief about homosexuality: a human imperfection that is sinful to act on. I remember at age four or five hearing a Bible scripture about "men who lie with men." I knew the elder was describing what I would be when I grew up. By the tone of his voice, I knew it was something very bad.
It isn't easy growing up gay in any religion that deems gays unworthy, but how can we make gay kids feel better about themselves when they hear anti-gay religious speech that is protected by the First Amendment? Restricting speech isn't the answer because banning the phrase "gay is sin" only makes it easier to ban "gay is OK." The solution is more speech telling gay kids they are good and beautiful people, to counter the negative messages they hear in church, school and in the media.
I recently made a video for the "It Gets Better" campaign, which asks gay adults living open and happy lives to tell gay kids to hang in there. I thought about how this kind of speech would have been impossible when gays were criminalized and shamed into silence. I also thought about how my mom's religion was once denied the ability to speak freely. But in fighting for their own right to live and worship as they choose, Jehovah's Witnesses won 50 U.S. Supreme Court cases that expanded individual liberties for all Americans. The irony only starts there.
When a federal judge ruled this summer that a ban on gay marriage in California was unconstitutional, his key legal precedent was a Jehovah's Witness case from 1943 that said the fundamental rights of a group - no matter how unpopular or marginalized -- can't be taken away by majority vote. A coalition of religions had supported the gay marriage ban, but Jehovah's Witnesses remained politically neutral. They demonstrated the Bill of Rights at its best: exercising religious freedom without the need to legislate beliefs that force everyone to live their way. Yet the irony ends here.
The fact that Jehovah's Witnesses don't block gay couples outside their religion from getting married is little consolation for a gay kid who is told he is a product of Adam's sin to his core. It is especially tough when the religion shuns.
A religion that says gays must remain single and celibate will have a hard time recruiting gay members. But what happens when the religion has gay kids? Among Jehovah's Witnesses there is no easy exit for the adolescent who skillfully parrots theology at age 10 or 12 and decides in his late teens or early twenties that the religion isn't for him. Anyone who officially joins through baptism is subject to shunning if they don't follow the agreed upon rules.
I was never baptized and it saved my relationship with my mom. Gay kids who got baptized before they could come to terms with their sexuality are not so fortunate. In the most extreme cases, parents cut all contact with their shunned adult children.
Freedom in America is complex: gays seek equality from a Constitution that gives religions the right to say gays are sinners. That's why the "It Gets Better" campaign is so important. It provides the hope a gay kid needs when he is being raised in an anti-gay religion. No kid should be so overwhelmed with who he is expected to be that killing himself is the only way to deal with who he is.
I wonder if parents with religious objections to homosexuality have fully considered the consequences of insisting their gay child follow a faith that works for them but not their child. Can the religious parents who lost a gay child to suicide or shunning ever find peace with the outcome? Or would they rather have a relationship with their child, alive, separate from their religion? I think that's why my mom cried so much when I told her I was gay. I know she won't come to my wedding if I'm ever allowed to get married, but I also know she is glad I'm still around.
Joel Engardio is a 2011 MPA candidate at the Harvard Kennedy School of Government. His essays have appeared in USA Today, Washington Post.com and on NPR. Engardio directed KNOCKING, an award-winning PBS documentary on Jehovah's Witnesses.
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Prince Has Gone Door-To-Door To Talk About Religion
RTT News/July 10, 2010
Prince has revealed that he has knocked on people's doors to tell them about God.
In a rare interview with British tabloid the Daily Mirror, the "Purple Rain" rocker says that he became a Jehovah's Witness after the death of his young son and of his parents in 2001. He said of his choice of religion: "Sometimes people act surprised, but mostly they are really cool about it. There is an incredible peace in my life now, and I'm trying to share it with people."
Prince also explained that he was mentored by Sly and The Family Stone's Larry Graham, who told the newspaper, "Prince is a spiritual man. Sometimes we study for hours - six, seven, eight hours a day. We sit down and get into the scriptures."
Prince's latest album, 20Ten, is being distributed for free in the Daily Mirror this week.
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Prince - Prince Accepts Angels
Contact Music.com/July 6, 2010
Devout Jehovah's Witness Prince has revealed he believes in angels and says his faith has brought an ''incredible peace'' to his life.
The 'Purple Rain' singer has been a devout Jehovah's Witness - a form of Christianity whose followers believe the Bible is scientifically and historically accurate and the ultimate "source of truth" - since 2001 and his faith means he accepts angels, the winged messengers of God, exist.
When quizzed about his faith in an interview with the Daily Mirror newspaper, he said: "There are good angels and bad angels."
Prince - whose conversion to Jehovah's Witnesses was his mother Mattie Shaw's dying wish - goes out door-to-door to spread the word about his faith and try and get others to convert.
Although most people are surprised to have a pop superstar call at their house to talk about God, Prince insists most individuals are "cool" with him.
He explained: "Sometime people act surprised when I'm at their house, but mostly they're cool about it."
Admitting he sometimes disguises himself, he added: "My hair is capable of doing a lot of different things. I don't always look like Prince."
The 52-year-old music legend - who was famed for his sexually explicit lyrics, outrageous stage outfits and womanising ways at the height of his career in the 80s and early 90s - insists his religious beliefs have brought a balance to his life that he didn't have before.
Prince - who is currently dating Bria Valente - said: "There's an incredible peace in my life now and I try to share it with people."
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Jacko's Kids Now Spreading Religious Message
Fox News/June 23, 2010
The once famously veiled children of Michael Jackson are knocking on the doors of stranger’s homes as part of their involvement with the Jehovah’s Witnesses, FOXNews.com reported Wednesday.
Although the their father went out of their way to shield his children, Prince, 13, Paris, 12, and Blanket, 8, they are now out in the wider world.
According to a Jackson insider, the kids - under the guidance of their grandmother and legal guardian, Katherine Jackson - have been doing the standard field service as part of their involvement with the religion, encouraging others to convert.
"Growing up, Michael did it, too. It’s an important part of their faith," said the source. "Nobody even seems to know it is them."
Longtime Jackson family friend and biographer, Stacy Brown, also told FOXNews.com that he "wouldn’t be surprised" at all to learn the Jackson youngsters were undertaking field service, despite their star-studded status.
"I am sure it is something Katherine would encourage," Brown said. "Becoming a Jehovah’s Witness was something she wanted for all her kids."
A representative for Katherine did not respond for comment.
House-to-house visitations are regarded as the primary work of Jehovah's Witnesses, with children usually accompanying their parents and participating in the public ministry.
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Fundamentalist teenage wasteland
The Boston Globe/February 14, 2010
By Steve Almond
If you think you had a rough time in high school, consider the plight of Gabe Dagsland, hero of Tony DuShane's debut novel, "Confessions of a Teenage Jesus Jerk." As a Jehovah's Witness, he's not allowed to celebrate holidays. He can't participate in extracurricular activities. The mildest dabbling in sex, drugs, or rock and roll - the bread and butter of a modern adolescence - is grounds for ostracization.
Oh, and here's what happens when you bring home a report card filled with A's and B's: "Mom reassured me that since Armageddon would be here before I got out of high school, there was no need to engage more than necessary in worldly activities."
It will go without saying that Gabe is incredibly horny and that far too much time is spent detailing his frustrations. Nonetheless, his story offers a compelling fictional peek inside a community of fundamentalist believers. And the more we learn, the darker DuShane's version of the movement appears.
"We all picked the houses we wanted to live in after God killed all the non-Jehovah's Witnesses at Armageddon," Gabe explains. "If someone was mean to us when we were preaching, we were secretly glad, especially if it was a rich area with big houses. We'd be able to move into their house, since they'd disregarded our attempt at saving them, and live in paradise."
Christian charity, anyone?
Gabe's situation is particularly dire, because his father is a church elder, and his mother is both passive and depressed. Growing up in a city south of San Francisco, he tries to toe the line for Jehovah, while shielding his religious identity from friends at school.
All teenagers lead double lives, of course, but most of them aren't forced to develop what Gabe calls the mediocre knock. "I knocked softly enough for no one to hear me inside the house, but loudly enough not to raise suspicion that I really wanted to avoid talking to people about the Bible on some mornings, especially when I preached in an area where I knew a few of my school friends lived."
Gabe is desperate to escape and terrified of the damnation that might await. The best moments here are charged with the danger of this conflict, as when he winds up flirting with a fellow Witness at a wedding.
"Then she put her head on my shoulder for the rest of the extended wedding-party dance, and I saw a movie of my future filled with a fast-food-craving wife and living with her parents in their garage in Vacaville while I slaved fifty hours a week as a floor cleaner or at some other job so we could have benefits."
Like any good narrator, Gabe is too smart for his prospects. He knows the quiet life of desperation that awaits him if he doesn't break from the church. And so he does, amid much angst, with the somewhat predictable help of Beat literature, punk rock, and a sexually rebellious female cousin.
In terms of narrative arc, "Confessions" is a standard-issue bildungsroman, one sometimes marred by overeager prose. DuShane also has trouble managing tone. Gabe veers from comic riffing to abrupt moments of tragedy that never feel quite realized. All that being said, the book remains gripping as a parable of fundamentalism.
Gabe can't manage his own raging libido, but he's got a gimlet eye when it comes to his father's fanaticism: "I wondered what Dad felt like choosing the future of all those people, making those confidential phone calls, extracting intimate details from ‘sinners' . . . and reading them scriptures from the Bible showing that Satan was directly related to every action, every ounce of pleasure they'd taken from that horrific moment when they'd touch the wrong person in the wrong place."
The scene in which church elders interrogate Gabe about his transgressions is positively chilling. He is quizzed about every conceivable action, impulse, and body part - an allegedly moral inquiry that quickly devolves into sadistic sexual rubbernecking.
DuShane also nails the sense of fear and paranoia that grips younger members of his congregation. It's like having the Stasi crash your school dance.
But what makes "Confessions" especially relevant today is the recent popularization of the Jehovah's eschatology. They believe that we are in the last days, and only 144,000 true believers will survive Armageddon and get to live in paradise.
If that plotline sounds familiar, consider the "Left Behind" series, which has sold 65 million copies, and counting, by presenting a pulp version of a not altogether dissimilar end-of-days scenario. Opinion polls show that a great many of our citizens believe mankind will meet such an end. There appears to be an entire Armageddon industry devoted to making money off this fear.
DuShane's curious little novel left me with the unsettling sense that the Jehovah's Witnesses may be more in sync with American reading habits than I am.
Random House will publish Steve Almond's new book, "Rock and Roll Will Save Your Life," in April.
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The knock at the door that turned my parents into brainwashed fanatics - and nearly cost my life
The Daily Mail, UK/February 11, 2010
By Rachel Underhill
Lying in my hospital bed, in the throes of an exhausting labour, I was in agony and feeling very frightened. I'd gone into labour ten weeks early and my twins were in the breech position, so it was likely I would need a Caesarean.
As a first-time mother, it was a terrifying moment - but worse was yet to come. As the consultant obstetrician looked through my notes, he suddenly lifted his head and said: 'I see you're a Jehovah's Witness.'
I nodded mutely, overcome with fear, as I knew what would happen next. The doctor left the room and called the Jehovah's Witness Hospital Liaison Committee, a group of the religion's senior members - or 'elders' - who are on call to negotiate with doctors about blood transfusions.
ehovah's Witnesses believe that blood is sacred and that accepting a transfusion - which is likely during many operations - is a sin. Frightened and in pain, I was told by the doctors that I was in grave danger if I refused a transfusion.
The anaesthetist, clearly agitated and upset, even said to me: 'Do you realise you are going to die and leave your babies without a mother?'
Before I could protest, Dennis, an elder I had known for a few years, was at my bedside. He was in his 70s and from a Brighton congregation - all Jehovah's Witness elders are males. I genuinely thought: 'Dennis is coming to help', yet here he was clutching a form stating I would refuse a transfusion and telling me to sign.
I glanced over at my parents and my husband Bob, hoping they would say something, but they stood by obediently, saying nothing while the elders took over.
It still hurts to think we were all so brainwashed that they could have stood by and watched me and my babies die.
I was in absolute turmoil. I knew that if I didn't sign the forms I would be banished from the movement and from everyone I loved and would be left without the support of my family.
I didn't want to die, but Dennis simply stood there, pen reaching out to me and I knew what I had to do. I signed.
Wheeled into theatre moments later thankfully, the operation was a success. My twins, two healthy girls we named Chloe and Lucy were beautiful. But I'd lost a dangerous amount of blood and was very tired.
I didn't haemorrhage like poor Emma Gough, the Jehovah's Witness who died in 2007 after giving birth, but I needed huge doses of iron injections to build my strength.
Meanwhile, the elders' useless advice in order for me to get better was to 'eat lots of beetroot'.
I stayed in hospital for a week, the babies for six. Both were born with holes in their hearts and Lucy has cerebral palsy as a result of being premature.
It was after my operation that the consultant told me firmly that if either of my children needed a blood transfusion at any time, the hospital would go to court and seek an injunction if I refused.
I simply said: 'Please do what you have to do', secretly pleased that they could intervene if necessary.
I could so easily have lost my life thanks to this warped religion. Now I faced going home with my new babies and raising them under the faith that forbids friendships outside the religion.
Millions of us have had Jehovah's Witnesses knocking on the door, but when it happened to my parents one morning in 1974, just before I was born, it was to change the course of their lives, and mine, for ever.
Neither my mother, a housewife, nor my father, a builder, knew anything about the religion before this fateful day, but my mother - who lost her own mum as a child - was intrigued by the notion that she could meet her again one day, in paradise.
Jehovah's Witness is a Christian movement founded in the U.S. in l93l. They believe they are the only true Christians and say that when Armageddon comes, they alone will be saved and will live in paradise on earth. Everyone else is damned.
We lived in Whitstable, Kent, and every day I was terrified on the way to school in case the world ended and I wouldn't find my parents when I came home.
It's a very strict religion that denies its members any freedom or the right to make lifestyle choices of their own. It is incredibly controlling and, as a family, we felt we couldn't breathe without telling the elders first.
I grew up in this indoctrinated household. We weren't allowed to make friends with anyone outside the religion, which they called 'outside of the truth', and further education or careers were frowned upon, because our spiritual development came above everything.
The group would have been happy for us to have lived on benefits with more time to devote to them. I grew up never celebrating Christmas or birthdays. Jehovah's Witnesses don't believe Christ was born on December 25, and they don't celebrate birthdays because when King Herod had a birthday party, he asked for - and was given - the head of John the Baptist on a platter.
The only celebrations were marriages and births, because these are the means by which the movement keeps itself going.
It was an utterly miserable childhood, very lonely and tough. Following fashion is forbidden - modesty is everything - and sex outside marriage is a huge sin.
The other children at school would laugh at me, dressed in floral frilly dresses or sailor dresses with hems down to the ground with not even a bare arm exposed. I looked like something out of the Thirties.
I never wore designer trainers or anything fashionable, so I was very isolated. I tried not to let it show, but I did care.
There was one group of girls who befriended me when they realised how hellish my home life was, what little freedom I had and how devoid of joy my life was. They are all still my friends.
But even questioning the groups' elders is very much discouraged. My mum and dad were slightly more liberal than some other Jehovah's Witness parents, perhaps because they weren't 'born in' which meant they had formulated some of their own ideas outside, so I was allowed to take my GCSEs.
We had bible and prayer meetings on two week nights for two hours and lots more at the weekend, so my life was very full, but with none of the pleasures and fun most young girls enjoy.
I have a younger brother, Tom, and a rebellious sister called Jo who is three years older than me, and who got pregnant at 16 by an outsider. Jo had to leave the group and the shame and blame my parents were made to suffer was shocking.
The news was announced at a big meeting at the Jehovah's Witness meeting place, Kingdom Hall.
My parents were too ashamed to attend so I went alone aged 13, and I questioned the elders publicly. This was frowned upon, but I was so angry about the way my sister and my father were being treated that I couldn't help but argue.
After that, elders crossed over the street when they saw Jo and, eventually, she was disassociated, or cast out, the worst thing that can happen to a Jehovah's Witness, because you never get to speak to any of the friends you've formed over the years.
I was an introverted child, but I worked hard and gained ten GCSEs. I wanted to be a nurse, but the elders forbid it, as they said on the paradise earth there would be no illness, so nurses wouldn't be needed.
I left school at 16 and was allowed to go to college to study business and marketing until I was 18.
Then I found a job with a form of solicitors in Canterbury. From the age of 13 I'd had boyfriends my parents never knew about. It was all innocent, but I wasn't supposed to be with boys without a chaperone.
I continued this double life for a long time. Although I'd wanted to leave the group for many years, I had nothing and nobody outside it apart from a few schoolfriends. So, eventually, I bowed to all the pressure the elders were putting on me and I decided to knuckle down and get baptised.
I didn't want to, but I couldn't see a way out. Baptism means you are devoting your entire life to the Jehovah's Witnesses.
Most young people are baptised between 16-18, but I held out until I was 19. I met Bob, my husband-to-be, two weeks later at a Jehovah's Witness project in Brighton. I was only 19 and he was 35 and, although I didn't even love him, within about three weeks everyone was pressurising us to marry.
I felt sorry for Bob as he lived on his own and seemed to have no one. And, if I'm honest, I wanted a great big wedding because I'd never been at the centre of attention or celebrated anything much.
We married in Whitstable in 1995, and had a six-tier cake, 250 guests, and a horse and carriage. I really was queen for a day. But I was never alone with Bob for any of our ten month courtship and, so, when we went on our honeymoon it was like being with a total stranger.
Bob had lived as a bachelor for too long. He spent hours alone on the computer and worked shifts as a security guard, so we were rarely together.
I wanted children badly but I knew I'd have fertility problems as I have polycystic ovaries.
I had secret fertility treatment for two-and-a-half years, which would have been frowned on by the elders, because it's going against nature. Eventually, I became pregnant.
I was thrilled, especially to learn I was having twins. I know now that early labour, complications and consequent blood loss are a risk with twins, but no one ever warned me about it.
I slowly recovered from the birth of my children and, over time, the fatigue went away and I felt I was getting back to normal. But my dreams of motherhood were shattered by the Jehovah's Witnesses, who have unrealistic expectations of young children.
They believe babies and children should be quiet and sit still for hours on end throughout prayer meetings or events, and put a lot of pressure on me to keep them silent.
At one meeting, the elders even made me stand outside in the cold with no coat while one of my newborn babies cried - it was incredibly stressful.
I knew I had to leave. I'd developed something close to contempt for Bob. I told my dad how I felt and he just said 'let the elders deal with it' which would have been useless. That was the last kind of 'help' I needed. I felt so alone.
I was OK financially, because I had always worked full time, but I still had no confidence in myself.
The elders make it impossible for anyone to 'just leave' and they know how vulnerable people will be once they have been shunned, with no friends or family to help or support them.
They make sure that those who leave feel as ashamed as possible and the whole thing is made very public. There's no dignified way of doing this. You can be seen to smoke, or drink, or do drugs, and refuse to stop and get disfellow-shipped that way, but I didn't want to do any of those things.
Instead, I hung around town with a non-Jehovah's Witness male friend from work, making sure I was seen by other Jehovah's Witnesses and, soon, everyone was discussing my 'affair'.
I refused to apologise for my behaviour and that's when things became untenable.
The Jehovah's Witnesses were making my life a misery, as they kept trying to make me feel ashamed over my 'affair' and I knew I had to volunteer to get out.
In January 2004, I told my parents I was leaving the group knowing we would no longer be in contact, which was really hard. My husband wasn't upset at all. The elders hammered on my door day and night for six weeks trying to dissuade me, and I screamed and swore at them to make them go away.
I got ill with the flu, and then my parents cut all ties me with me. We had a brief reconciliation a couple of years ago, but as soon as I launched my website in 2006 to help other ex-members, they disowned me again out of loyalty to the Jehovah's Witnesses.
The only way towards another reconciliation is if I took my website down and I'm not prepared to do that, so I don't anticipate being in contact with my family, ever again.
For that first year out of the Jehovah's Witnesses, the only people who were there for me were my old schoolfriends. I cried more or less non-stop for a year, but I'm strong and I knew I'd get through it.
The twins are ten now. They have a brilliant time at Christmas, go to school assembly and celebrate their birthdays, all things they would have been deprived of if I hadn't left.
I was thrilled when I was able to sign a form at the hospital in 2007 saying that if my child ever needed a blood transfusion, that would be fine. I was so proud of myself that day for having had the strength to reclaim our lives. I've got no doubts whatever that I did the right thing.
I didn't set out to criticise the religion when I launched my website. My aim is just to try to ensure that no one who leaves the Jehovah's Witness has to endure total isolation with no support, as I had.
I have two trained counsellors who help people cope with leaving, and I get between three-to five thousand hits a day on my site. I have so much to live for now.
I married again last year to Gerry, a company director, the children are thriving and my business, a windscreen replacement service franchise, is doing very well. I could so easily have lost my life thanks to this warped religion and I'm so glad I found the courage to walk away.
• A spokesperson for the Jehovah's Witnesses said: Jehovah's Witnesses are reasonable, tolerant people who want people to make their own choices. I've never found them to be oppressive. 'We offer freedom of choice and if anyone decides to leave the group, it's up to them'.
• For more information or help Rachel Underhill's website is: exjw-reunited.co.uk
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Awkward Armageddon: Confessions of a Teenage Jesus Jerk Share
San Francisco Weekly/February 1, 2010
By Jonathan Kiefer
If Armageddon does come, God probably will smite Tony DuShane - and in the meantime, the worshippers in DuShane's family probably will shun him. That's because the San Francisco writer and radio host became a Jehovah's Witness at age 3, but later became "inactive" and has now written the definitive novel of the 1980s Bay Area horny, anxious, teenaged Jehovah's Witness experience.
To those of us not privileged with the power to smite or shun DuShane, the essence of his book might seem at first a touch parochial, but in fact Confessions of a Jesus Jerk trades in universal themes with grace and humor and great empathy. It is also, for now at least, the funniest and most charming novel of the 1980s Bay Area horny, anxious, teenaged Jehovah's Witness experience.
The title sets the tone, demonstrating right up front why DuShane's company will be more pleasant than that of an unwelcome visitor proselytizing in your doorway. His droll narrator and presumed avatar of his younger self is Gabe Dagsland, who is here to tell you that if you ever wondered whether high school might actually be easier with the certainty that the world will end before you graduate, the answer is "hell, no."
Gabe gets through his days, barely, by wondering with all seriousness whether he's for God or for Satan. He's just trying not to drown in a river of impure thoughts or succumb to the elder-implanted "condemnation entourage" he carries around in his mind. At school, he must constantly field questions, or take abuse, from his uneasy non-Witness classmates, the so-called "worldlies," then on weekends find himself in the strange position of praying he won't run into them while going door-to-door.
For various reasons, Gabe's parents aren't much help, and his Witness pals have problems of their own. He doesn't like the one girl who is interested in him, and can't even focus on which of six gazillion appetizing others he wants the most. Poor Gabe is so hormonally stoked that even Bugs Bunny in a dress will set him off. At least his worldly yet conflicted Uncle Jeff offers halfway decent advice, but of course some things are easier said than done, especially with God watching.
DuShane's potentially controversial content should not distract from his promise as a stylist. The blessing and curse of abundant single-sentence paragraphs is that they can seem like one-liners. The curse comes when the voice gets self-enchanted or intrusive, and taxes the reader's good graces. But DuShane doesn't have these problems. He has the blessing, which comes when an author channels his quick wit into the development of character, establishes a unity of tone, and moves his story forward swiftly. The one-liners here seem considered and correct, just right for delineating the urgent abbreviations of the adolescent mind. "We'd have candlelight dinners and sex," Gabe hopes on one occasion. "Jesus turned water into wine and an organization of Jehovah's Witnesses into borderline alcoholics," he observes on another. And when DuShane gets on a roll, which happens often, he's hilarious.
He makes short work of showing how religiosity can compound adolescent social and sexual frustrations instead of ameliorating them. But DuShane seems uninterested in the vengeance of retrospective judgment. Confessions of a Jesus Jerk is, after all, a familiar kind of coming-of-age tale. What makes it worth the risk of excommunication and smiting is the godly virtue of its message: that adolescence can be its own Armageddon, and that truth and compassion aren't mutually exclusive.
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First U of L woman awarded Rhodes Scholarship
NBC Wave News, Kentucky/November 22, 2009
By Caton Bredar
Louisville, Kentucky - On Saturday in Indianapolis, University of Louisville graduate Monica Marks, 23, was named the latest Rhodes Scholar. The Eastern Kentucky native stopped back in Louisville Sunday to celebrate with U of L staff.
University of Louisville President James Ramsey was like a proud parent. He said getting word that Marks had won the Rhodes left him "just overwhelmed."
"That's what we were shooting for," he continued, adding that U of L has had several Fulbright winners and various other distinguished students. However, Ramsey said having a Rhodes Scholar--one of only three or four ever to come out of U of L and the first female--is even better than winning a national championship.
"We're proud of our student athletes," Ramsey says. "But at the end of the day, it's all about undergraduate education."
With only 32 Rhodes Scholarships given out per year in the United States, the group-which includes names like former President Bill Clinton, or former U.S. Poet Laureate Robert Penn Warren--is a who's who of the nation's elite. The prize itself is a two year scholarship to England's Oxford University, awarded to a person excelling academically, committed to philanthropy and social and civic causes.
For Marks, it a long way from Rush, Kentucky, a small Eastern Kentucky town without a public library. "It was difficult to pursue a middle school education, a higher high school education" explains Marks. "The hills of Eastern Kentucky are beautiful, but they often have a way of trapping their residents, and getting beyond them was never an assumption."
That journey beyond the Eastern Kentucky Hills was made even more challenging by the fact that her parents were Jehovah's Witnesses. Marks said, "Jehovah's Witnesses, have unfortunately, pursued a rather antagonistic stance towards higher education of their youth." She added that they tend also to denigrate women in general.
Still, Marks credited her father, an elder in his church, with cultivating her love of books and travel. She credited the tight knit community of Rush as having brought her ultimately to where she is today.
"It motivated me to travel," she says. "It motivated me to seek a broader understanding of the world through books, through education, really."
Marks applied to many colleges outside of Kentucky before ending up at U of L and admitted it wasn't her first choice. She "settled" for the school she could afford and initially, during her first few months of college, was somewhat unhappy. She said she quickly found a support network of friends and professors, many of whom were instrumental in assisting and guiding Marks through the Rhodes Scholar application process.
Marks was actually in Istanbul, Turkey studying on a Fulbright Scholarship when she initially applied for the Rhodes. She heads back to Turkey on Monday.
In the meantime, and throughout the entire process, her U of L mentor, Patricia Condon, has been there for her, helping in every step, from preparing Marks for interviews, to helping her select a suitable outfit to wear. As Marks was unable to reach her father when she first found out she had won, Condon was the first to get the news.
"I'd been praying for it," Condon said. "I was sitting here with all the ingredients for the celebration dinner ... but didn't dare say anything until we knew for sure."
Condon said Marks natural drive coupled with her intelligence and her ability to learn languages are all keys to her success in the Rhodes process, and in life.
"Two of the people who interviewed her said she was one of the best candidates they had ever interviewed," Condon said. She added that she knows Marks is headed for great things--perhaps one day even mentoring and teaching Middle Eastern Culture and Law at a university.
"We talked about that," Condon admitted, when asked if it was possible for Marks to follow in fellow Rhodes winner Bill Clinton's footsteps. "She said Secretary of State was the perfect job."
For now, one of the most decorated graduates in U of L history is just trying to absorb what it all means, and what it might mean for the future, not just for her, but for other young women in Eastern Kentucky towns, or other children of Jehovah's Witnesses.
She said she hopes they see now that all things are possible. "It's so encouraging for me," said Marks. "It was a group of six former Rhodes Scholars who looked at me and they said, its possible. You can do it.".
Dr. Ramsey said Marks winning sends a message. "The message that, students from all over the country can--the very best students-- can continue their education and have a world class educational experience at the University of Louisville."
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Growing up J.W.
A new book about being raised among Jehovah's Witnesses sends these SN&R writers down memory lane
Sacramento News and Review/May 6, 2009
By Jenn Kistler and Kel Munger
A small religion, Jehovah's Witnesses have less than 2 million members in the United States, and statistically (according to the most recent American Religious Identification Survey), almost two-thirds of Jehovah's Witnesses children decide not to remain members. That's true for us, two former Witnesses here at SN&R. So when a copy of Kyria Abrahams' new book, I'm Perfect, You're Doomed: Tales from a Jehovah's Witness Upbringing, arrived, we decided to discuss it—and our experiences growing up among the door knockers.
Jenn Kistler: This book is hilarious. Like her, I tried to convert my friends. In the second grade, I placed the Bible Stories book with one friend. The next day she brought it back and never spoke to me again.
Kel Munger: Abrahams says the belief that the world would be destroyed any minute kept her from forming attachments with people outside the J.W.'s.
J.K.: I was afraid to make friends. Even aside from not being able to hang out with them outside the school, the idea that they were going to die very, very soon was pretty traumatizing.
K.M.: She also makes clear how people who've been disfellowshipped [expelled] are completely shunned. She shunned her disfellowshipped mother, then when she was disfellowshipped, her mother shunned her.
J.K.: It was the same for me. When my parents got divorced, my mom wasn't going to meetings regularly and she got remarried, so the elders came to my dad's house and told us that we had to stop talking to her. I was 12 or 13.
K.M.: I was 8 when my dad was disfellowshipped. We weren't supposed to talk to him about anything that had to do with "spiritual matters." But we also had the experience of being semi-shunned by other members of the congregation—treated like lepers—because our dad was disfellowshipped.
J.K.: We weren't allowed to hang out with kids in my congregation, at their house, if one of their parents was disfellowshipped.
K.M.: Yep. Now, on the good side, going out door to door made me an extrovert. I've got no stage fright and could sell space heaters in hell—if there was a hell.
J.K.: I'm confident when speaking in front of people, but I still have a hard time developing personal relationships. I left in my late teens, and making connections with people, close connections, just wasn't something that happened in the organization.
K.M.: Abrahams thinks it's a cult. I'm torn about that. Their doctrine isn't that far off from things like the Bible Students and some of the Adventists groups. And they sure don't have charismatic leadership.
J.K.: Uh, no!
K.M: But it's a very rigidly controlled group that uses social isolation—and the threat of social isolation—to keep people in line. Abrahams nailed that; her fear of leaving, or even of changing too much, because then she'd lose her family and friends. It takes a lot of personal courage to walk away when you know your family is going to reject you.
J.K.: I define the term cult loosely. Any organization that tries to prevent you from integrating into society and being part of your own community and tries to control everything you do is a cult in my eyes.
K.M.: Yeah, it's just that nobody ever tried to put me in an orange robe. So are we doomed to be weird? I'm Perfect, You're Doomed. No, really.
J.K.: No. Maybe. A little. You can't get rid of everything that was ingrained in you as a kid. When I pass by a Ouija board in Wal-Mart, all the stories I was told come back. Or the Smurf stories. I love those. I've still never watched Smurfs to this day. [There is a body of urban lore among Jehovah's Witnesses about the Smurf characters being demon-possessed.] Laughter helps, especially if you've got family members who are still in it.
The pressure to "witness" was constant. Every time I had a science teacher, I had to give her the Evolution book at the beginning of every year, or anti-evolution book rather. In fifth grade, the science teacher was so awesome. We gave her the Evolution book and she sat down with us and said, "Thank you for bringing your beliefs to my attention, but I'm not going to be teaching from this book."
K.M.: I didn't take an Evolution book to the biology teacher, but then I knew that she'd already gotten about a half-dozen copies. That's because every year, the next Witness kid who had to take biology would give an "experience" at the meeting about "witnessing" to the biology teacher. Poor Miss Bailey!
And I was too old for My Book of Bible Stories. That came out after I'd left home. When we were kids, we studied the Paradise book, which has such disgustingly frightening pictures of things like Jezebel being thrown to the dogs, or a Canaanite getting ready to toss a baby onto this fire in the lap of their idol. The worst was part of a big, panoramic picture of Armageddon: this little girl, her doll, her dog and her bicycle all falling down into this big chasm in the Earth. Gave me nightmares. It's probably why I was afraid to learn how to ride a bike.
J.K.: Growing up, I had terrible nightmares, and that's probably why—those are intensely graphic pictures in those books.
K.M.: And we call the books by shorthand names, but they all had these ridiculously long names—Babylon the Great Has Fallen: God's Kingdom Rules!—with lots of exclamation marks, so we'd be sure and know it was important.
K.M.: Abrahams is also pretty good at describing that superior attitude toward "worldly" people—basically, anybody who isn't a Witness in good standing.
J.K.: You have to get baptized. That's one of the things Abrahams writes about that was just exactly the same for me. You're not an adult unless you're baptized.
K.M.: See, I didn't do that. I was afraid to, because my dad was disfellowshipped, so I knew what could happen. Screw up, get hauled before a judicial committee and try to convince them that you were repentant before they threw you out anyway. Well, what I was pretty sure was going to happen, because I knew I'd never be able to follow all the rules. So I'm in the "never-dunked" club. You can't disfellowship me. I never joined!
J.K.: In my congregation, getting baptized was like joining an elite club of cool kids. You would not get invited to the cool parties or get to go to the movies with the group that had the cute guys unless you were baptized. Now, they were doing stuff they weren't supposed to, like dating each other, but you couldn't be a part of it unless you were baptized. So I got baptized in a cattle trough. It had wrapping paper on one side of it to make it look nice, and it was plopped right on the stage at the Kingdom Hall.
Now, try and explain all that to someone who doesn't know any of the lingo.
Sometimes I wonder what those "cool Witness kids" are doing now. I know my two best friends from that time are also no longer Jehovah's Witnesses.
But if you're baptized, you got a "No Blood" card, which was sort of a membership card for Jehovah's Witnesses adulthood.
K.M.: Oh, yeah. I remember how rumors would go around that there were "blood products" in Hershey's chocolate or in Dairy Queen ice cream, so we weren't supposed to have it. Notice that it's always something that tastes good, right? Because you can't be righteous and theocratic if it's easy. Just tell me that they used blood in processing broccoli, please! [Jehovah's Witnesses refuse transfusions of whole blood and consider eating blood a major sin.]
J.K.: I stopped going the minute I turned 18, and so did my sisters. My sisters and I are not the bad kids people said we would be; we've all gone to college and we've got our lives together and we've got jobs and great relationships. We've never been in trouble. But you'd think we were the black sheep of the family anyway, the way they act toward us. They'll call to preach to us and get us to come back because they don't like the lifestyle that we're leading. I think they would be happier if I was a high-school dropout and cleaned houses, as long as I was a pioneer [that's a Jehovah's Witness who spends a particularly large amount of time going door to door].
K.M.: I get you. When there's only one answer, anything I do is wrong.
J.K.: This isn't a big religion, but I don't see it getting any bigger. It's just not self-sustaining; most of the kids leave.
K.M.: And then laugh about it, if they can!
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Gay marriage and doing 'whatever you want' is wrong, says Prince
Minneapolis Star Tribune/November 18, 2008
By Paul Walsh
Prince, the gender-bending Minnesota rocker who now lives in California and makes the rounds as a Jehovah's Witness, spoke out in a newly released interview that the Bible opposes homosexuality and God has said "enough."
The comments from the Grammy-winning musician, who for decades has graced concert stages in high heels, makeup and flamboyant garb, appear in the Nov. 24 issue of New Yorker.
"So here's how it is," Prince began, "You've got the Republicans, and basically they want to live according to this." He pointed to a Bible.
"But there's the problem of interpretation, and you've got some churches, some people, basically doing things and saying it comes from here, but it doesn't."
Prince then moved to the other side of the political aisle, Democrats, saying, "They're, like, 'You can do whatever you want.' Gay marriage, whatever. But neither of them is right."
When asked for his views on social issues--gay marriage and abortion--Prince tapped his Bible and said, "God came to earth and saw people sticking it wherever and doing it with whatever, and he just cleared it all out. He was, like, 'Enough.' "
Prince, who wrote sexually charged lyrics through much of his career, told the New Yorker that his change of faith came after a two-year debate with a musician friend. He likened it more to a "realization" rather than a "conversion."
He told the magazine that he attends meetings at a local Kingdom Hall, and he leaves his gated community in Los Angeles at times to knock on doors and proselytize. "Sometimes people act surprised, but mostly they're really cool about it," he said.
According to beliefnet.com, an independent website about the world's religions, the Jehovah's Witness faith that abortion is wrong, homosexuality is a "serious sin" and gender roles are defined: Men are the head of the household and women are loving caretakers who assist the husband in teaching the children.
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Best of Times, Worst of Times: Lisa Magdalena, former Jehovah's Witness
Lisa Magdalena, 38, is a former Jehovah's Witness whose father made legal history by being forced to have a blood transfusion. Now a trained counsellor, she recalls how she broke free of the sect
Times Online, UK/September 14, 2008
I was two years old when my father died, in 1971. He had his wisdom teeth out and he didn't stop bleeding, so he was rushed into hospital in Margate. Later it was diagnosed that he had a blood disorder. We were a highly influential Jehovah's Witness family. My grandfather was a local "presiding overseer", which meant he basically ran the show. And for Witnesses, having a blood transfusion is forbidden. You can be "disfellowshipped" for it, totally cut off from your family and the community. There was a big wrangle, and the hospital won a legal battle to give him blood against his wishes - he'd written "No blood" on a piece of paper. They gave him a transfusion, but by then it was too late and he died.
Throughout my childhood I was angry that he chose the religion over surviving for me and my elder sister, Michelle. He was considered a martyr - "Lisa, your father died for the faith"- but no one seemed to appreciate how horrendous that was for a child. From the age of six
I spent hours knocking on doors, and people would slam the door saying: "I will never listen to a Jehovah's Witness, because of that man who refused blood and left those poor little children."
Jehovah's Witnesses don't believe in heaven or hell. They believe that good Witnesses will live for ever in paradise here on Earth, as God's chosen people. But before that comes Armageddon. As a child, I was taught that the world was going to end in 1975. My mother stored all these tins and split peas, preparing for Armageddon. Some Witnesses took out big loans they didn't think they'd have to pay back; many didn't go to university or have children. Most Witnesses prayed for Armageddon, but I prayed it wouldn't come. When 1975 came and went, they said, okay, it didn't happen, but it could still happen at any moment.
As a teenager I had all these questions about the faith, and I was pounced on as if the Devil was getting into me. We weren't allowed to partake of blood, so I asked why we weren't vegetarians, because when you put a steak in the pan, blood runs out. I got into big trouble. There was also abuse in our house. A male Witness abused me and my family from the time I was four till I was 14. The elders disfellowshipped him, but that just meant they couldn't do anything about him. Eventually I knew I couldn't be a Witness any longer. But there's no honourable way to leave this religion: you're told that if you leave, it means eternal death. I couldn't just say: "Look, Mum, I don't want to be a Witness any more." I knew I'd have to leave home.
And there's an extra abusive twist. Witnesses believe that when paradise comes, there'll be an earthly resurrection of good Witnesses. So my father would be resurrected in bodily form. And I was told that if I left, my mother and sister would have to explain to him why I wasn't there: that Lisa hadn't loved him or Jehovah enough. How hurtful is that?
I was 16 when I ran out of the house.
I remember the cold air as I ran and ran, my heart pounding. I didn't know anyone I could go to: I'd been taught never to mix with outsiders - Satan-lovers. For three weeks I was on the streets, and I was heading for London when I was found by my guardian angel. It was a man whose wife was a Witness, but he'd chosen not to be. He was driving along the A299 when he saw this distraught kid and recognised me. He knew about the abuse. He said he could see all I needed was a roof over my head and I'd find work and live my own life. It was the first time I ever felt protected.
He took me to my grandfather and gave him a very strong talking-to, saying I wasn't coming back to the religion. Very temporarily, I lived in my grandfather's house. I borrowed my nan's suit, and I called on every bit of anger and confidence I had and walked into Marks & Spencer's in Margate and asked if they had a job. Well, it so happens I started work in the food department and found a flat. I started going to parties, which I had never been allowed to do. I'd be on the tills at M&S and catch myself humming a "kingdom melody" - a Witness hymn - and think "Aaargh!" and replace it with Like a Virgin, by Madonna. I celebrated Christmas for the first time at 17, and I felt like a one-year-old. Santa never came to me as a child, but he's very generous now! I don't believe in Jehovah, who is a judgmental, punishing God. I believe my God loves me very much and wants me to grow and be happy. And I'm happier than I've ever been. I've written a book based on my life called Tell the Truth.
It's taken me years to respect my father's choice not to take blood, but I do. And I respect people's choice to be Jehovah's Witnesses - if they're happy, good on them. But I know there are many who feel trapped. I'm not on a mission to get people out, but as a counsellor I'm here to help anyone who wants to escape from control and manipulation.
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Ex-Witness offers counselling service
Eastbourne Herald-Gazette/March 4, 2008
A former Jehovah's Witness, whose father was at the centre of the UK's first legal battle to give him a blood transfusion against his will, has set up an online counselling service from her Jevington home for those who want to leave the controversial religion. Lisa Magdalena, who was brought up in a Jehovah's Witness family that made legal history, is working alongside www.exJW-reunited.co.uk members, giving personal counselling sessions.
In 1971, Lisa's father, Keith Playford, was at the centre of the UK's first legal battle to give a Jehovah's Witness a blood transfusion against their will.
Having suffered severe blood loss following an operation to remove his wisdom teeth, Mr Playford stuck determinedly to Jehovah's Witness teaching forbidding the taking of blood and refused a life-saving transfusion.
Although the hospital concerned won a then unprecedented legal battle to force him to accept blood, it was too late, and he died anyway, leaving Lisa and her sister fatherless.
Now working as a holistic counsellor and living in Jevington, Lisa said, "The Jehovah's Witnesses saw my dad as a saint but I was just two years old when he died and lived a childhood robbed of the chance to really get to know him.
"I never had a dad to be proud of me at school events, watch me graduate, walk down the aisle, see my daughters - his granddaughters - and hold my hand through my divorce and my battle with cancer. I know how difficult it can be for those who are thinking of leaving this religion, for those trying to re-establish their lives after leaving, having to deal with the confusion and countless other after-effects.
"My childhood was racked with trauma and horror. It was an abusive, closed and a cold world to grow up in with no room for self-expression or freedom of thought.
"Mine was a heavy, dogmatic and a fearful childhood."
Despite her father's death, Lisa was still required to go door-knocking locally to seek converts and recalls having doors slammed in her face as people yelled they would never listen to a JW 'because of what happened to that man who refused blood, leaving those little children', not realising they were slamming the door in the face of his daughter.
At the age of 16, Lisa ran away from home and was shunned by her family.
"I had been told that everyone 'in the world,' ie not a Jehovah's Witness, was evil, a 'Satan lover'," said Lisa.
"I had been told that leaving the religion meant eternal death. Facing a new life without my family and living in fear of Armageddon was a horrific double blow, but I knew I couldn't go back to the religion."
Ironically after the birth of her second daughter, Lisa was diagnosed with cancer and underwent two years of gruelling chemotherapy, including a stem cell transplant and nine blood transfusions.
She is now training for a diploma in holistic counselling and a certificate in counselling skills. She also runs a private practice, teaches workshops and courses, is writing a book and works as a course director for the Holistic College of Eastbourne.
"Now, I see my life as a Jehovah's Witness was rooted in emotional blackmail and manipulation," said Lisa.
"I also see the same happening repeatedly with clients who are Jehovah's Witnesses, clients who are considering leaving and those who have already left.
"My job now is to help them and others live life on their own terms, free from the interference of a dogmatic and, I believe, dangerous religion."
"I consider it a real privilege to be able to offer such people safe support and counselling via exJW-reunited.co.uk.
"Significantly, I think I'm particularly well placed to help because people coming to me for counselling won't have to go explain how the Jehovah's Witnesses work, what they believe and so on.
"Having had counselling myself I know this can be a time-consuming process and the issues can be difficult for some counsellors to get to grips with. Because I will already understand much of the background to their stories, I'll be able to meet people right where they are."
The first live online counselling forum will be held between 11.30am and 12.30pm on Monday March 7.
The following is from a Jehovah's Witness website:
Jehovah's Witnesses refuse blood transfusions, including autologous transfusions in which a person has their own blood stored to be used later in a medical procedure, (though some Witnesses will accept autologous procedures such as dialysis or cell salvage in which their blood is not stored) and the use of packed RBCs (red blood cells), WBCs (white blood cells), plasma or platelets.
Many Jehovah's Witnesses carry a signed and witnessed advance directive card absolutely refusing blood and releasing doctors from any liability arising from refusal.
In 2000 the Witnesses changed the rules on blood transfusions so that the Church would no longer take action against a Witness who willingly and without regret underwent a blood transfusion.
This was because the Church had no need to take action; the Witness concerned would no longer be viewed as one of Jehovah's Witnesses because he no longer accepted and followed a core tenet of the faith - ie the act of accepting a blood transfusion stopped a person being a Witness, without any further action by the Church.
If the Witness later changes their mind and repents of their action they can return to the Church.
Of course, if a Witness is transfused against their will, this is not regarded as a sin on the part of the individual. Children who are transfused against their parents' wishes are not rejected or stigmatised in any way.
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Jehovah's rules ruined Ja Rule's childhood
Hip Hop Elements.com/December 16, 2007
Rap star Ja Rule blames his family's Jehovah's Witness roots for ruining his childhood.
The I'm Real hitmaker reveals he was never allowed to celebrate birthdays or Christmases growing up - and even playing with other children was a problem for his strict grandparents, who helped raise him.
As a result, the rapper, real name Jeffrey Atkins, goes overboard when his children celebrate birthdays and special occasions.
He tells Sister 2 Sister magazine, "I had a difficult childhood. My grandparents were Jehovah's Witnesses, so, as a child I had to deal with no birthdays and no Christmases.
"People don't understand - It's no Christmas, and it's no being outside with other children that are not in your congregation. It's a lot of rules that are hard on children." The rapper was "disfellowshipped" when he went to live with his mother and had been kicked out of the church for socialising with "worldly people", when he was 12.
He explains, "When you get disfellowshipped, nobody's allowed to talk to you - They all treated my mom like this f**king outcast because she had some drinks with her co-workers on occasion - That f**ked with me as a child."
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'My Parents Had This Big Argument Over Whose Fault It Was, Why I Chose to Be This Way.'
The New York Times/September 16, 2007
By Zy-Tasia Gaines
I was born and raised in Brownsville, Brooklyn, and my mom raised me to be open to everything: to all types of sexualities. But I guess she didn't expect it would come out in me. She's like, "Be nice to everybody, but as long as you're not a lesbian, that's cool." So when she found out I was a lesbian, it was really difficult, and she didn't accept it at first. She still sort of doesn't, but she deals with it.
Mostly, people in Manhattan are really open to it. I go to a center on 13th Street called the LGBT Center where they have lots of programs and activities. I'm in a film class, and we're making films about different experiences we have being lesbian.
Mine is about how my girlfriend's parents are homophobic — really, really homophobic. We've been together about a year. As the relationship got stronger and stronger, the more protective her parents got, the more they tried to pull her away. In July, they sent her to live with her uncle in Chicago. She tries to call me about twice a week to check up on things, but I haven't seen her since. I live in Far Rockaway, Queens, and my school is in Jamaica. When I came out in my school, in 10th grade, everybody was pushing me away.
When I came out, I was basically established in the school. I knew everybody. So I had to explain to them, I'm still the same person I was before. I just choose to be with another woman instead of a man.
There was a girl at my high school, and she would ask me really silly questions, like, "Angelina Jolie or Jennifer Aniston"? I'd say, "Angelina Jolie," and she'd say, "See, only a gay person would say that." And she goes, "Red ice cream or grape ice cream?" I'm like, "Red ice cream." She says, "See, you're a lesbian."
My mom's the type of person, she calls everyone in the family and says, "Guess what my daughter just told me!" So then my grandmother called me, and my aunt, too.
Then my father called. I don't live with my father because my parents separated when I was a baby, but we always keep in contact. He goes: "I have gay sisters. Do you think this is genetic?" And my parents had this big argument over whose fault it was, why I chose to be this way.
My father, he still thinks it's a phase. He's like: "I think you're gonna have a boyfriend later on. I'm not worried about it."
But my grandmother's cool with it. She says, "As long as you're not doing pornos and doing anything crazy, getting tattoos on your forehead, I don't care who you go out with."
My mom is just like, "Well, I wanted grandkids, and I wanted you to marry a boy," and every now and then, she throws in: "I met this really nice guy on the train. Are you sure you don't want to meet him?" And I'm like: "No, Mom. I have a girlfriend."
My family was brought up as Jehovah's Witnesses, and Jehovah's Witnesses don't believe in heaven or hell. They believe in everlasting life, that everybody's going to die and then God's going to bring back all the people who did right and they'll live on this paradise earth.
And I'm not baptized, so my family's like: "See, this is what happens when you don't get baptized. This is what happens when you sit around and play video games instead of coming to church." And I say, "This has nothing to do with anything."
But the way my family was brought up, basically every little sin you commit is another strike against you being able to come back for everlasting life. They're like: "Do you know you just added a big strike to yourself? Now you have to be extra good so he'll think about bringing you back."
A lot of my friends stopped talking to me, and a lot of them still don't talk to me. My girlfriend in Chicago, I'm her first girlfriend. So when we came out in school, as a couple, everybody said: "See what you did to her? Now you're going to bring two people down to hell." I'm like, "O.K." And her parents really made me feel bad. They were like: "You're ruining our family. She was fine before she met you."
And I said to myself, well, maybe I shouldn't be with girls. Maybe I'm just going to ruin everyone's life. Maybe I should just be with a boy and make everyone happy.
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Mind-controlling cult took our Leah
Eastern Daily Press, UK/April 12, 2007
By Stephen Pullinger
For 14 years they were devoted Jehovah's Witnesses, but after a heart-rending dispute which saw them lose all contact with their only daughter, a Norfolk couple have launched a determined campaign to highlight the pitfalls of joining the church.
Where their daily routine had once involved zealously knocking on doors to spread the word of Jehovah, retired David and Brenda Gibbons have taken to touring the streets warning people away from what they now regard as a “mind-controlling cult”.
They take with them a cherished photograph of their daughter Leah, looking radiant on her wedding day, whom they have not seen since they were thrown out of the Jehovah’s Witnesses last July following a family bust-up.
An accompanying letter reads: “We are not appealing to you for sympathy. What we are doing is begging you to be careful when these people knock on your door.”
The couple agreed they had been attracted at the beginning by the “overwhelming love” shown them by Jehovah’s Witnesses.
But Mr Gibbons, of Kingfisher Close, Bradwell, who went on to hold a senior post as ministerial servant, said: “Now we have seen the other side and we would not want anyone to go through what we did.”
Members of the church in Bradwell, near Yarmouth - including Leah, 25, and her husband Ben - have been forbidden from speaking to the couple since their expulsion for writing a letter containing personal criticism to their daughter’s mother-in-law.
A judicial committee at Yarmouth Kingdom Hall decided on their “disfellowship” after declaring them “revilers”, people who speak ill of others.
Mr Gibbons, 62, a full-time carer of his wife who has rheumatoid arthritis, said: “I have not committed a crime like adultery or theft; I have simply spoken my mind and I can’t apologise for that. You should not expel people for that.
“I want to warn people about the way Jehovah’s Witnesses can make or break a person’s life. Since our ordeal started, we have learned of several others in the area who have gone through disfellowship, with the same implications for their family and friends. We were a close family. To lose a child who has died is bad; to lose a child who does not want to talk to you is quite heartbreaking.
“We know our daughter loves us dearly but she even moved house without telling us her new address. Like the rest of this cult, their minds are controlled through what I would describe as loving manipulation.
“Ninety-nine per cent of Jehovah’s Witnesses are lovely people. But now if we come across friends from the congregation in Gorleston High Street, they do an about-turn or dive into a shop. One of our best friends hung up when we rang them.”
Trevor Gaskin, the town’s presiding Jehovah’s Witness, insisted the church was very family orientated and “put great store in that”.
He said: “The Gibbonses know what they need to do to heal the breach. To be reinstated in the congregation they would need to show a repentant attitude.”
But he questioned whether talking to the papers was “the way to get their daughter back”.
He said disfellowship did not prevent Leah contacting her family, for example if one of her parents was ill.
Leah told the EDP that she agreed with what had happened to her parents because when you joined a church, you knew the rules.
However, she said their relationship could be restored if they made amends in the right way for what they had done - even though they had made life difficult for the congregation.
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Nemesis twins excommunicated by Jehovah's Witnesses
The Advocate/December 22, 2006
Jacob and Joshua Miller of the band Nemesis Rising have been officially shunned by their church, the Jehovah's Witnesses, and they released a statement Thursday in response.
According to the statement, a Jehovah's Witnesses meeting took place in the Millers' hometown of Kalispell, Mont., where it was announced that they had been "disfellowshipped," or excommunicated, because of their homosexuality and their show on Logo, Jacob & Joshua: Nemesis Rising.
To be disfellowshipped is to limit one or cut one off from all contact with any Jehovah's Witnesses, including family members. While the twins are no longer practicing the religion, they said that they are willing to stay in contact with anyone who is willing to speak with them
"We find it ironic that a religion whose members are asked to knock on the doors of strangers with a message of acceptance into paradise on Earth will not accept two of its own children for who they really are," they wrote in the statement. "Our wish for them is one of tolerance and understanding, and we send to all of them a message of peace and love."
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Jacob and Joshua Miller of Nemesis Claim to Have Been Officially "Disfellowshipped" by the Jehovah's Witnesses
Los Angeles Business Wire/December 21, 2006
The following is a joint statement by Jacob and Joshua Miller of the pop-rock band Nemesis and reality stars of "Jacob & Joshua: Nemesis Rising":
The two of us were just informed that last night a Jehovah's Witness meeting took place in our hometown of Kalispell, Montana. At this meeting it was announced to all members of the Jehovah's Witness organization that we have been, as Jehovah's Witnesses would say, "disfellowshipped" (excommunicated) because of our homosexuality and our participation in our reality show, "Jacob & Joshua: Nemesis Rising," on Logo.
According to Jehovah's Witness doctrine, being "disfellowshipped" means that we have been found guilty of unrepentant gross misconduct. Our immediate family is to have limited or no contact with us. And all other practicing Jehovah's Witnesses around the world are not to speak with us ever again.
Although we are no longer Jehovah's Witnesses, we have nothing but love for those individuals who have been asked to shun us. We will continue to be in contact with our family and those who truly love us unconditionally as long as they're willing.
We find it ironic that a religion whose members are asked to knock on the doors of strangers with a message of acceptance into paradise on Earth will not accept two of its own children for who they really are. Our wish for them is one of tolerance and understanding and we send to all of them a message of peace and love.
- Jacob & Joshua
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Couple's faith tested
The Yarmouth Mercury, UK/September 28, 2006
By Miles Jermy
They were once devoted believers - but a husband and wife say their faith has been tested and their family torn apart after they were thrown out of the Jehovah's Witnesses.
Members of the Bradwell congregation - including their only child, a daughter - are now forbidden from speaking to David and Brenda Gibbons since they were forced to leave.
They were thrown out by a judicial committee at Great Yarmouth Kingdom Hall in July, after writing a letter containing personal criticism to another member of the congregation.
Declared “revilers”, people who speak ill of others, the decision to “disfellowship” the couple was upheld on appeal to the Jehovah's Witnesses' British branch in London.
They have not seen daughter Leah, 25, since being forced to leave the organisation.
Retired merchant seaman
Mr Gibbons, 62, and Mrs Gibbons, 64, who suffers from rheumatoid arthritis, are devastated by the experience.
Mrs Gibbons told the Mercury: “It is heartbreaking that Leah is not allowed to speak to us because of a scriptural point of view.
“I do regret joining the Jehovah's Witnesses because then we would still have our daughter.
“We were renowned for being a close family; to love a child who has died is bad, to lose a child who does not want to talk to you is quite heartbreaking.
“People need to know the consequences of stepping out of line - so many families have been split up and now we have lost a dear daughter.”
She added: “No religion should impose that on people, but there is very precise manipulation of the way believers think and feel.”
Jehovah's Witnesses are instructed to shun expelled members, who are allowed to attend services and receive spiritual guidance, but cannot be welcomed back into the congregation until they apologise for their actions.
Mr and Mrs Gibbons are adamant they have done nothing wrong and cannot return to the movement that was, until recently, central to their lives.
Mr Gibbons said: “The elders could have helped resolve the situation, but I believe they wanted me out because I was outspoken and this was an opportunity to remove me.
“Our Christian brothers and sisters would like to speak to us, but are fearful of what action might be taken against them.
“We were loved by so many people, but now when they see us in the street they turn away The body of elders has created a climate of fear amid the congregation, which is divided into cliques.
“Even if I had committed a crime I would expect my family's support, but Brenda and I have done nothing wrong and yet we are completely isolated.
“What is the good of any religion that takes your daughter away from you and does what has been done to us.”
Mr Gibbons was stripped of his position as a ministerial servant in June; he and his wife had been worshipping with the Gorleston congregation until their expulsion.
Worshippers are not told why a member is removed and Mr Gibbons, who had managed the accounts at Bradwell Kingdom Hall, feared they would think he had been thrown out for stealing money.
The last few months have been an ordeal for the couple after losing contact with a daughter they had been so close to and who encouraged them to join the Jehovah's Witnesses 14 years ago.
All they are left with now is memories of their time with Leah and a gallery of family photos at their home in Kingfisher Close.
Mr Gibbons added: “It was really Leah who got us into the church as she had a friend at school who was a Witness.
“Her father came round to visit us; we had a Bible study and joined after going along to worship for a year.
“We were renowned for being a close-knit family and well known for riding around together on a tandem cycle. We shared so many jokes and good times.
“This is tearing us apart, we were always so full of fun, laughter and life but now just do not feel whole anymore.”
The Gibbons' daughter, Leah, refused to talk to the Mercury when she was approached, and Trevor Gaskin, the presiding Jehovah's Witness also declined the comment.
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From Jehovah's Witness to Hollywood actress
St. Louis Post-Dispatch/September 11, 2006
By Tim Townsend
On a sunny summer day, film director Matthew Van Vlack sits in the lush courtyard of an uberhip teahouse talking about "Art Imitating Life," a movie he'll begin filming in the fall. All around the Buddhist-influenced courtyard, young beautiful people read scripts and talk to agents on cell phones as they sip their Echinacea Royale Tonic Herbal.
One of the stars of "Art Imitating Life," Juliana Dever - a pretty, freckle-faced St. Charles native wearing a "Put Me Out of My Missouri" T-shirt - sits next to Van Vlack as he talks about Callie, the character Dever will play in his new film.
"Callie's an ex-stripper, trying to become a singer, and she's in an abusive relationship with a Mafiosa-type boyfriend," Van Vlack says. "She has this girl-next-door cuteness, but she's also extremely damaged."
Dever, who is blond, curvy and tiny - barely over 5 feet tall and nowhere near 100 pounds - is perfect for the part, he says.
"Juliana's cute and bubbly, but she also has this mysterious, sultry quality," Van Vlack says.
And then there's Dever's upbringing in the Jehovah's Witness church. That, Van Vlack says, is where the damage comes in.
The actress has created a new life outside the church's strict system of beliefs, "and she's making it work for her," he said. Dever has transformed herself from a sheltered St. Charles teenager forbidden from celebrating her birthday or attending prom into the celluloid star of horror flicks such as "Sasquatch Hunters" and "Mangler Reborn."
She also has written a screenplay that merges her two worlds - Jehovah's Witnesses and Hollywood. They are dramatically diverging worlds, and Dever's experience and screenplay reveal the challenges young Witnesses sometimes face as they try to reconcile their faith and the sometimes chaotic society outside its protective walls.
Conflicting feelingsas a youth
The Jehovah's Witnesses, which began as a small Bible study group near Pittsburgh in 1872, has more than 6.5 million Witnesses around the world. Witnesses are premillennialists: They believe Armageddon is imminent and that the second coming of Jesus Christ will precede the 1,000 years of peace mentioned in the New Testament book of Revelation. Witnessess consider holidays such as Christmas and Easter pagan-influenced corruptions of biblical Christianity, and the Pledge of Allegiance idolatry.
At Willie M. Harris Elementary School in St. Charles, Dever often felt like the strangest kid in her class. Witness doctrine did not allow her to recite the pledge with her classmates or celebrate birthdays and other holidays with friends. She also couldn't participate in many after-school activities, such as plays or sports.
"School was weird for me," she said. "Whenever it was someone's birthday, I had to sit in a room by myself while everyone else had cake. I couldn't draw Christmas trees or turkeys for Thanksgiving."
David L. Weddle, chairman of the religion department at Colorado College, said Witnesses base their rigid patriarchal authoritarian rule on the Bible, "and part of the strategy they use to keep the next generation loyal is strict social control."
Bill Kissell, a Jehovah's Witness spokesman in Missouri, said Witness parents are simply concerned with whom their kids associate.
"Certain parts of school activities are not appropriate," he said. "Young people could be accidentally involved in something immoral or unacceptable."
Dever's conflicting feelings about the church started at an early age. When she was 15, her parents approved chaperoned visits from an 18-year-old member of their congregation. He would come to the family home to watch movies and eat pizza. But the encounters still drew fire from a church senior elder who humiliated the family in front of their congregation, said Dever, who asked that her maiden name not be used to protect her parents. The elder accused Dever's parents of being lax caretakers with little concern for their daughter's blatant promiscuity.
"It was sickening," Dever said. "My skin felt like it was on fire. I sat there frozen and trying not to breathe, trying not to look at my mom. It was tantamount to some kind of sentence, like being up there in stocks for everyone to spit on. My parents were devastated."
Soon Dever found herself questioning the church's strict beliefs and yearning for a different lifestyle.
The church discourages Witness parents from sending their children to college, Kissell said.
"Obviously among Jehovah's Witnesses, there are people with a good education," he said. "But in view of the atmosphere at many universities and colleges today ... many families decided to do something else with their children's education, to help them have a skill that will allow them to provide for themselves but also keep them away from an atmosphere that is not helpful morally."
Dever was not allowed to attend college, so she went to work for TWA after high school. A year or two later, in 1998 (since Dever set up shop as a Hollywood actress she has shed her Midwestern, devil-may-care attitude about revealing her age), a former TWA boss offered her a job in Orange County, Calif., licensing feature films to airlines. She jumped at the chance. She relished a change of scenery, and the job would put her a step closer to her dream: acting in the movies.
But Dever's wish for stardom was in direct conflict with church teaching, which, according to Church literature, says that Witnesses "avoid being excessive in the pursuit of wealth, pleasure or prominence."
As soon as she arrived in California, Dever acted on instinct and sought out a local Witness congregation. After two decades, the church had become a part of her, and she wouldn't leave it easily. Also, she knew that when she did leave, some members of her family and her Witness friends would cut off communication.
She was only 40 miles from Hollywood, but fear kept her from seizing the life she yearned for less than an hour up Highway 5. It would take her three more years to leave the church for good.
Walking away from the Witnesses
Dever had no friends outside the church and so nowhere to turn for support or advice about her decision. Instead, she devoured books about acting, hoping for a career in film.
In October 2001, she finally made the leap to Los Angeles, leaving the church and everything she once knew behind.
New friends helped Dever through months of depression and doubt about life outside the Witnesses, especially in a place as ethereal as Hollywood.
"I kept thinking, 'If everything I was told up to this point in my life was a lie, what's true now?'" she said.
The following year, she met Seamus Dever, a fellow actor who appears with Adrien Brody and Ben Affleck in the new movie "Hollywoodland," ) and she married him earlier this summer. Her parents attended the California wedding.
Today, Dever studies acting with the hunger of someone deprived of food for weeks. Last year, she studied at Russia's famous Moscow Art Theater. In 2002, she made her first movie, "Sasquatch Hunters," a B-level horror flick released last year. Other damsel-in distress-roles followed.
Two nonhorror indie performances are on the art-house and festival circuits, and her life is full of auditions, readings and more auditions. Though Dever's getting more acting work, she still works part-time at her day job in Orange County.
But Dever's major project is a screenplay about people she knows best: those too afraid to leave the church, the people she loved and ultimately lost when she walked away from the Witnesses. The screenplay follows several Witness friends as they struggle with the tensions between their lives in the church and in the outside world. Dever is finishing a final draft and hopes to meet with producers in coming months.
"I don't want to come across as angry in the screenplay, because I'm truly not," Dever said. "And I don't want to be exploitative or condemn anyone."
For now, Dever expresses no doubt about leaving the church. She is focused on her fledgling Hollywood career - though she admits that being estranged from some family and friends has been difficult.
"When you leave, you lose people you love, and you have no say in it," she said. "I have no regrets about leaving, but I have many about the life I lost."
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SEC Halts $16M Scam Aimed at Elderly Jehovah's Witnesses
CCH Wall Street/July 21, 2006
By Aaron Seward
The SEC has announced charges against a California-based corporation and its principals for a scam that defrauded the elderly. The Commission charges that Renaissance Asset Fund, Inc., Ronald J. Nadel, and Joseph M. Malone raised more than $16 million from more than 190 investors nationwide.
In what the regulator called a classic Ponzi scheme, Nadel and Malone solicited aged investors through Jehovah's Witnesses congregations and used the proceeds to fund their lavish lifestyles.
The SEC's complaint, filed in a California federal court, charges Renaissance, Nadel and Malone with violating federal securities laws, violating broker-dealer registration provisions and seeks disgorgement of ill-gotten gains with prejudgment interest, and civil penalties, among other punishments.
"Fraud against seniors and affinity groups is particularly egregious because it is perpetrated through abuse of trust. The filing of these actions reflects the Commission's determination to protect seniors and other investors from securities fraud," said SEC Enforcement Division Director Linda Chatman Thomsen.
According to the complaint, Nadel and Malone sold promissory notes to investors between March 1999 and April 2004. The notes related to a variety of purported projects, including a general fund, an outlet mall, an international currency exchange and a Swiss bank. Some of these projects did not exist, and others were unsuccessful.
Regardless of that, Nadel and Malone told investors that their investments would earn returns ranging from 10% to 25% in as little as four months. They also sent false quarterly account statements to investors, outlining the fictional profits their investments had earned.
Renaissance invested approximately $1 million of the funds it raised in business projects, but Nadel spent most of the investors' money himself. As investors started wanting their money back, Nadel engaged in a series of stalling tactics, including soliciting rollovers of profits and principal into other Renaissance programs and making partial repayments from funds contributed by other investors.
Approximately $1.5 million to $2 million was paid out to investors using funds deposited by other investors. In typical Ponzi scheme fashion, payments to existing investors were funded almost completely by money received from new investors to the scheme.
Nadel also diverted approximately $2.3 million in investor funds to himself directly and through nominee accounts, and paid Malone at least $230,000. Nadel used the money to fund unrelated businesses, as well as for personal expenses, such as leases on cars, country club memberships and other retail purchases and services.
As with all Ponzi schemes, once the flow of new investors stopped, the house of cards built by Nadel and Renaissance collapsed and most investors were left empty-handed.
At the same time that these actions were filed, the SEC settled cease-and-desist proceedings against the scheme's coconspirators, Senior Resources Asset Fund, LLC and Kenneth E. Baum. Baum acted through Senior Resources, a California company that provides financial advice to seniors, to sell Renaissance's bogus promissory notes to elderly investors. Both Baum and Senior Resources consented to cease-and-desist from selling unregistered securities and from acting as an unregistered broker-dealer.
The SEC announced the charges on July 17th, the same day the regulator convened its first ever Seniors Summit, a conference examining how to better protect older Americans from investment fraud and abusive sales practices.
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Mayoral hopeful left Jehovah's Witnesses
London Free Press, Canada/June 1, 2006
By Jonathan Sher
London's latest mayoral candidate spent years going door-to-door for a faith that bars members from voting or holding office, a religion -- Jehovah's Witnesses -- whose members, she says, now shun her.
So while most candidates announce how proud they'd be to serve citizens, when Cynthia Etheridge says it, it has an air of authenticity.
"Filing to run for mayor makes me so proud to be a Canadian," Etheridge said.
Etheridge, 39, was 18 when she married a Jehovah's Witness. Over time, she grew frustrated by what she describes as the subjugation of women by men.
Women couldn't give sermons in their place of worship. When she objected to only men handling family financial affairs, she says she was called a "Jezebel."
Four years ago, she left the Jehovah's Witnesses and her husband.
After she left, members of the faith shunned her, some going to the A&P where she worked to stare at her, one threatening to report her to Children's Aid, she said.
A mother of five, Etheridge works weekends at the Cherryhill Village Mall A&P and wakes weekdays at 3:30 a.m. to clean an Exeter Street firm.
She returns home before the first child arrives at 6:30 a.m. to her home day care.
Etheridge says she respects London Mayor Anne Marie DeCicco "because she's a woman and she's strong."
DeCicco has been in politics for years, while Etheridge's only political experience was a failed run in 2003 for the Thames Valley District school board. But while she's a political novice, Etheridge is no stranger to the bread and butter of local campaigns.
"I did 17 years of door-to-door . . . I love talking to people. It's about the only thing I miss from being a Jehovah's Witness," she said.
Etheridge is getting help from a veteran of local campaigns, Stephen Orser, who's a candidate as well, in Ward 4.
The two had a child together but can't marry until her divorce, which has been prolonged, is final.
Etheridge wants to ban pesticides, restore weekly garbage pickup, eliminate board of control and allow police to impound vehicles of men seeking prostitutes and to screen, for crimes, anyone who goes door-to-door.
Also running for mayor are DeCicco, who's seeking a third term, and Arthur Majoor, a longtime military reservist who wants to shrink the scope of city government and reduce taxes.
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Book explores child abduction
McAlester News-Capital, Oklahoma/December 21, 2005
By Teresa Atkerson
Bryan McGlothin believes he’s getting a second chance for a happy childhood.
That’s because he and his wife now have a son, 8 months old. “I’m getting to experience it with him. I have a chance for a happy childhood through him,” he said. “I’m privileged.” Since McGlothin works from home, he gets to be “Mr. Mom.”
This is exciting for him since McGlothin has very few happy memories of his own childhood.
He writes about this life in “Have You Seen My Mother?” The book is both heartbreaking and sad — yet it remains a page turner.
McGlothin admits he hates to ask people if they enjoyed reading it. “Of course if they were intrigued and found themselves wanting to turn the page, then they did enjoy it.
“Though with the tragedy of the story, I find it difficult asking readers to enjoy Irony, I suppose,” he said.
McGlothin was a victim of parental abduction when he was two. He was taken by his father at that time and did not find his mother until he was 33.
He says his father, a Jehovah’s Witness elder, convinced him his mother was “demonized” and wanted nothing to do with him.
For years, McGlothin believed his mother didn’t care about him.
As his father told him for years, if she wanted to see her son, wouldn’t she have tried to find him?
It wasn’t enough that young McGlothin thought his mother didn’t love him. There wasn’t much love in the household where he grew up. His stepmother and father both showered love on the two sisters from his stepmother’s first marriage. He received very little caring or love from anyone.
The family lived in Texas for years while his grandparents and other extended family lived in Oklahoma. In the book, McGlothin recalls happy times during the summers when he would visit the extended family in Oklahoma.
Other than that, he did not have a happy childhood.
It wasn’t until he grew up that McGlothin began a search for his mother. He didn’t know if she was dead or alive but he felt he needed to know either way.
It wasn’t until he was 33 that he found his mother. It took many tries and a lot of dead leads but he finally found her — in McAlester.
He learned she hadn’t abandoned him and searched for him for years before eventually giving up. She even tried to commit suicide, which left her with a brain injury. “I have conversations with her,” he says. “Part of the joy is how happy I am making her with her having her son back.”
But that’s only half the story of the book. McGlothin discovers many lies and betrayals as he tries to learn the truth about what happened during his childhood years.
The results are bittersweet. He ends up being disfellowshipped from the Witnesses, making him an apostate. That means he has been literally kicked out of that religion.
As an apostate, Witness members aren’t allowed to talk to or even look at him. And that includes many of his family members, including a daughter from his first marriage.
“Some people need the structure of the Witnesses,” McGlothin said. “But when it destroys families and lives,” that isn’t right.
Recently, McGlothin said, “I want people to understand that parental abduction can be just as traumatizing as any other case of abduction.” He says one of his biggest difficulties is the feeling of not coming from somewhere and not having an origin.
What does help, he says, is the support of his wife and their son. He says he was a “dead man walking” and now he knows “God wants us to be happy and have a good life.”
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Turn of Faith
New York Times Magazine/August 14, 2005
By Joy Castro
Adopted at birth in 1967 by a family of Jehovah's Witnesses, I was asked from an early age to behave as much like an adult as possible. Three times a week in the Kingdom Hall in Miami, my brother and I strove to sit perfectly still in our chairs. Our mother carried a wooden spoon in her purse and was quick to take us outside for beatings if we fidgeted.
At 5, I sat onstage in the Kingdom Hall in Surrey, England, where my father's job had taken us. Nervously pushing my memorized lines into the microphone, I faced my mother, who was seated across from me. We were demonstrating for the congregation exactly how a Bible study with a ''worldly'' person, or non-Witness, should go.
I had played the householder before -- the person who answered the door. That was easy: you just asked questions that showed you didn't know the Truth. Portraying the Witness was harder: you had to produce the right Scripture to answer any questions the householder might ask.
But we had written our parts on index cards and rehearsed repeatedly at home. I was well dressed and shining clean. I said my lines flawlessly and gave looks of concern at the right times. Finally, the householder agreed with everything I had said: her way of life was wicked, and the Bible clearly proved that Jehovah's Witnesses were the only true Christians who would be saved at Armageddon. Her look was grateful. Then she smiled, becoming my mother again. Everyone clapped, and she glowed with pride. At last I could go out in service.
From the age of 5 until I was 14, I knocked on the doors of strangers each week with memorized lines that urged them to repent. I didn't play with worldly children. I didn't have birthday parties or Christmas mornings. What I did was pray a lot. I knew the books of the Bible in order, by heart, and could recite various verses. My loneliness was nourished by rich, beautiful fantasies of eternal life in a paradise of peace, justice, racial harmony and environmental purity, a recompense for the rigor and social isolation of our lives.
This bliss wasn't a future we had to work for. Witnesses wouldn't vote, didn't involve themselves in worldly matters, weren't activists. Jehovah would do it all for us, destroying everyone who wasn't a Witness and restoring the earth to harmony. All we had to do was obey and wait.
Shortly after our return to the States, my father was disfellowshipped for being an unrepentant smoker -- smoking violated God's temple, the body, much like fornication and drunkenness. Three years later, my parents' marriage dissolved. My mother's second husband had served at Bethel, the Watchtower's headquarters in Brooklyn. Our doctrines, based on Paul's letters in the New Testament, gave him complete control as the new head of the household; my mother's role was to submit. My stepfather happened to be the kind of person who took advantage of this authority, physically abusing us and forcing us to shun our father completely.
After two years, I ran away to live with my father. My brother joined me a tumultuous six months later. We continued to attend the Kingdom Hall and preach door to door; the Witnesses had been our only community. Leaving was a gradual process that took months of questioning. I respected all faiths deeply, but at 15 I decided that I could no longer be part of a religion that condoned inequality.
After she finally divorced my stepfather, my mother moved out of state and married another Witness. Our occasional correspondence skates over the surface of our strained deténte. I feel for her struggles. A smart, capable woman, she subjugated her will and judgment, as the Witnesses teach, to her husbands'. If she damaged my brother and me or failed to protect us, she did so out of fear and belief. She wanted to save us from certain destruction at Armageddon, from a corrupt and dirty world. She wanted nothing less for us than paradise.
I love my mother, but I also love my ''worldly'' life, the multitude of ideas I was once forbidden to entertain, the rich friendships and the joyous love of my family. By choosing to live in the world she scorned -- to teach in a college, to spare the rod entirely, to believe in the goodness of all kinds of people -- I have, in her eyes, turned my back not only on Jehovah but also on her.
It's strange when Jehovah's Witnesses come to my door now. I know discussion is futile; they have a carefully planned response for any objection. Finally, I say, ''I'm an apostate,'' and their eyes widen at the word: someone who has willfully rejected Jehovah, far worse than a worldly person, who is simply ignorant of the Truth. A threat to the faith of others, an apostate deserves to be shunned, as we were forced to shun our disfellowshipped father. The Witnesses back away from my door.
Joy Castro is the author of a memoir, ''The Truth Book,'' to be published next month by Arcade and from which this essay is adapted. She lives in Crawfordsville, Ind.
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"I no longer live in fear of 'Satan's World and everybody in it'"
March 2005
By a former Jehovah's Witness
My mother wrote me finally, after so many years. I was a little startled, since she had not contacted me for so long.
She also wrote a letter to my husband and sent along childhood photos of me, but Jehovah's Witness literature was also enclosed.
Her words were lovely, though with an air of desperation.
My mother wanted my husband to know that she brought me up as a Jehovah's Witness (JW) with certain beliefs, and then asked what his religion was.
I decided to respond by telling her about my beliefs and what they have always been.
I had never shared this with my mother before. Nor told her about the detachment during my youth, which ultimately led to my disfellowshipping.
Those inner silent struggles as a child eventually split my personality in two.
What was expected of me as a young person in this religion didn't express my feelings or beliefs. And accepting it was torture. So I learned to somehow preserve and protect my inner life and light, and show a different face to my "Witness family."
My mother never knew that.
When I went to the Kingdom Hall to worship like the Witnesses did, I felt guilty because it wasn't praying in my own words from my heart. Later, I would apologize to God and say my own private prayers.
As I grew older, I felt connected to the universe and more loving.
Nevertheless I went door to door to please my mother and my congregation. But I was never really happy as a JW, nor did I become the missionary of my mother's dreams, which must have caused her pain.
At 19 I left home abruptly. I was sincerely sorry for hurting my mother, but didn't want to be a part of her religion. I avoided telling her that though, because I didn't want to break her heart. It was a struggle to explain these feelings during my years as a JW.
However, I chose an easier way and said that I was going to go party and be with boys. Looking back now, it was easier to say that then to tell my mother the truth.
I do wish that I had managed the courage to tell her what I had always believed and that what the JW religion essentially stands for is dangerous.
Their concept of one religion, one people, one way of worshipping God and one path to Him, in my opinion is detrimental to experiencing life in its entirety.
Life as I see it is means acceptance, and that acceptance leads to a kind of unity, which equals peace.
The Witness way, which always rang false in my head, declared instead a type of segregation that ultimately allowed for only one true religious organization to exist.
This fundamentally resembles racism and racism equals judgment, division, fear and hatred.
I figured this out as a child, when I wasn't allowed to have friends from school.
Because the kids from school supposedly lived in "Satan's World," which meant they were "worldly," and therefore a "bad association."
And that was my first introduction to segregation.
"Bad associations spoils useful habits."
However, that teaching never made sense to me. That is, the JW belief that if you associate with bad people, you'd end up doing bad things.
My friends never made me do anything. If they dared me and I did it, it was me doing it and not them. The Witness interpretation seemed to ignore individual choice and responsibility.
Simply understood you could not be trusted with, or trust anyone that was not a Witness.
That type of judgment made me question their teachings generally.
I decided to take personal responsibility for my behavior, but if I were to have lived by JW beliefs, perhaps "bad associations" would have become an easy excuse every time that I made a mistake.
In dealing with Mother again, I became more aware of how I had chosen to heal after leaving the Witnesses and how that choice had affected my life.
Growing up as a Witness my life was within the JW world, no outside "worldly" people allowed! That is, unless they might become a Witness.
I was raised to believe that the world would end soon, so finding the true path was essential until the "New System" came about.
Study with the Witnesses was supposed to be the only true path, but deep down I never identified with any of it. I was fortunate to hold onto a peace and love inside myself, though a sense of confusion gripped me at times. It was like "brainwashing" that took place 5 times a week for many years.
I didn't want to live in constant fear of "The End and what about right now? What about life today, I'm here aren't I?
That dark future tense that ran rampant in those bible studies made me want "now" so badly and created a subtle "live in the moment" philosophy that stirred deep within me.
I yearned for living in the moment.
It's funny how being in the present begs to surface when faced with any myth. And every mishap, accident, mistake that takes place has so much to do with being "present" for an experience. Even at a young age I felt desperate to break out.
But then I'd hear it all again, "This is "The Truth" and there is only one way!"
Only one way?
My brain is so imaginative, so I naturally think of different ways. In daydreaming and wandering in thought my mind created alternatives, a plethora of ways!
It's natural for the brain to operate that way, different people, different minds, and many ways of thinking. Many ways of doing things and different levels of comfort.
The whole "One Way" mindset just seems to contradict the human condition!
What about all the different levels of intelligence or perception?
Humanity exists on so many levels of understanding and intelligence.
So what about those that just don't get it? Somehow they're doomed because of their stupidity?
What about people that are mentally challenged, who can't conceive of what "The End" is, or maybe they can't even read?
They just die because of their disadvantage?
What about the freedom of will, which is our spiritual birthright?
Why should Jehovah's Witnesses hold the exclusive means for judgment and everyone else is given death?
Why would we all be created in His image, which is loving, compassionate, understanding, free, non-judgmental and forgiving as the bible says, but then be condemned to die in the end because we served and loved Him as a Mormon, Protestant, Catholic, Muslim or Jew?
These and many other questions were never answered. My only response was, "Don't question the Truth. The Truth just is." However, that answer only diminished trust in "The Truth" that they taught.
I hope that a discussion of how my beliefs shaped my desire to live a compassionate life will bring peace to my mother. That the things that made me long for a different life than hers were not too far off from what she is. Her constant love for us, her intense desire to be there out of love, how much she had to give and still has to give.
All those same qualities she passed down to me, but I wanted to apply them in ways her religion would not allow. I wanted to travel and explore other paths, not just with one path and people. And to live without the fear of others being under Satan's thumb.
My childhood was spent in a structure of fearful restriction, within a sad and scary religion. I couldn't wait to burst out of my cage and let my spirit be free to love the people I wasn't allowed to love as a child.
I no longer live in fear of "Satan's World" and everybody in it, but instead live with immense appreciation for the world and everyone that inhabits it. And for the opportunities that exists to joyfully contribute by making my time here a joyful time. I wake up happy every day free of fearing "The End."
I've been blessed to feel love for all of God's children and freely connect to people without judging them.
It is a blessing to live and love joyfully without boundaries imposed regarding religions and traditions and to live with an open heart.
My hope and prayer is that everyone, regardless of their spiritual practice, may find hope, strength and a joyous life.
Copyright © 2005 Rick Ross.
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Reaching Out To The Shunned
A Seminar For Those Who Have Moved On
CTNow.com/October 22, 2004
By Frances Grandy Taylor
Joseph Whedbee Jr. used to be an elder in the Jehovah's Witness church, also known as the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society. He went door to door to evangelize and spoke at annual conventions. But, he said, when his doubts led him to formally dissociate from the organization in 1990, he was shunned, even by family members.
"My sister hasn't said hello to me in 10 years," said Whedbee, 56. "I'm willing to speak to her, but she won't speak to me. She would not speak to me at our grandmother's funeral. She just got up and left the room."
Whedbee and Mike LaRue, 55, who has been his friend since their childhood in Waterbury where they both were raised in the faith, are reaching out to others who have left the church.
About six months ago, the two men began meeting regularly with several other former Witnesses to talk about their experiences, including feelings of isolation and loss.
On Saturday, the group, which is so new it doesn't have a name, will host a daylong seminar at the Timexpo Museum in Waterbury. The seminar is called "Learning to Love Again," and will include a panel discussion and talks by former members.
Many people who have left the faith miss not only the closeness of family and loved ones; they also feel estranged from God, said LaRue, 55, who left the church about 20 years ago.
"They're in limbo. ... They've been taught not to attend other churches, and they feel they can't go back [to Jehovah's Witnesses]," LaRue said. "They feel out of the grasp of God's graces."
There are about 6.2 million Jehovah's Witnesses worldwide, including about 14,000 in Connecticut, which has 136 congregations. They believe in God, Jesus and a future paradise on earth, and they emphasize strong marriages and close family relations. The world headquarters, known as Bethel, is on a sprawling campus in Brooklyn, N.Y.
J.R. Brown, a national spokesman, said people who voluntarily withdraw from the church or become inactive are visited a few times a year by elders of their local congregations.
"Sometimes things happen that prevent a person from participating. We check to see if they need help or would be interested in reinstatement," said Brown. "If they do not wish to be contacted further, we respect that."
A member can also be disfellowshipped, a serious and formal procedure that leads to ejection from the church, after a person has committed a sin such as public drunkenness and failed to sincerely repent, Brown said. When a person is disfellowshipped, his or her name is announced during a Kingdom Hall meeting. Family members may have routine and necessary contact with the person, but others outside the household are not supposed to invite the person to their homes or give the person any greeting or acknowledgement. The names of people who have been disfellowshipped are placed on a list, and they are visited once a year by an elder.
"The motive is so the person will be shamed and repent his action," Brown said. "The disfellowshipped are not our enemy. ... Our hearts grieve for someone [for whom] this has become necessary."
Whedbee said he started to have doubts about the faith when he began reading older versions of the Watchtower publication, which the church discourages. The discrepancies troubled him.
He now serves on the board of Biblical Research and Commentary International, a nationwide association of former Jehovah's Witnesses formed in 1983. The group has a website, www.brci.org and a toll-free help line 800-WHY-1914 (800-949-1914).
"We get anonymous calls from people who want to talk about what they are going through," Whedbee said. "When they leave they often have no friends, because every friend they ever had was in Jehovah's Witness."
Whedbee and LaRue have since joined other Christian denominations.
"We're not trying to start another religion," LaRue said. "We just feel that because of our own experiences we have a special obligation, because we know what these people are going through."
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From Sex God to Doorstep Bible Basher
Love Gives Pop Legend a New Purple Patch
The Mirror/April 10, 2004
By Nick Webster
On the quiet suburban streets of Minneapolis, he cuts a remarkable figure. Dressed in a tailor-made suit and trademark stack heels, he steps lightly out of his purring limo and, surrounded by four bodyguards, approaches the modest picket-fenced homes.
And to each astonished resident opening their doors to the peculiar group, multi-millionaire superstar Prince quietly asks: "Would you like to talk about Jesus?"
Welcome to the new world of the man who once outraged a nation with the song Sexy MF and who changed his name to a symbol. Gone are the wild parties, the womanising and the bizarre all-purple lifestyle. Instead, 45-year-old Prince's hedonistic excesses have been replaced with door-to-door preaching and Bible study classes.
Credit for this remarkable transformation, the Daily Mirror can reveal, is down to his mother's dying wishes, new wife Manuela Testolini, who, at 27, is 18 years his junior, and his baptism as a Jehovah's Witness.
It is Manuela - the fan-turned-employee-turned-spouse - who has stood by his side as he embraced his new faith and it is she who has helped him return to the musical spotlight after years of obscurity.
This month sees the release of his critically-acclaimed new album Musicology and he recently made a triumphant return to performing at the Grammy awards.
The bid to recapture his position among the pop elite is music to the ears of Canadian-born Manuela.
Prince - who has romanced a string of women, including Sheena Easton, Susanna Hoffs of The Bangles, Madonna, Kim Basinger, Kristin Scott Thomas and Carmen Electra - has never been a big fan of monogamy.
But now, in middle-age, he seems to have adopted it with Manuela.
But the way he and Mani, as she is known, met and married is a strange combination of fairytale and stalker fantasy.
She grew up in a tiny two-bed apartment in a run-down block on the thundering Don Mills Road in Toronto, Canada.
She was a plain teenager who, as a high school student, was known as an avid Prince fan.
Her passion for the diminutive musician continued at York University in Toronto - where she studied for a degree in art - to the detriment of her social life.
Fellow student Sorayah Kassim-Lakha remembers her regularly playing her hero's hits, particularly If I Was Your Girlfriend and I Wanna Be Your Lover.
"Mani was always very quiet at college," Sorayah says. "She didn't go in for parties and stuff like that.
"She was only ever interested in her art and in Prince. She was obsessed with him. It's all she ever talked about."
Mani was a frequent visitor to the internet fan club alt.music.prince, a forum devoted to her then hero and now husband.
She admitted to being a "lurker" - someone who watches what others say but seldom joins in conversations.
One of the UK fans who did talk to her online was Antony Golding from Bolton, Lancs.
"It's all a bit surreal," he says. "She was just a fan who posted a couple of messages and then suddenly she was working at his Paisley Park recording studios... and then she was his wife."
Manuela graduated from university in the summer of 1998 and soon after she landed her dream job working with the singer. That year, she received a brief credit on Prince's New Power Soul album.
Twelve months later, she became his assistant. Rumours quickly began to circulate that she was more than just a member of staff before his marriage to first wife Mayte Garcia was annulled in May 2000.
Less than three years earlier, Mayte had given birth to the couple's son Gregory, who tragically only lived a week before dying from the rare bone condition Pfeiffer Syndrome, a genetic skull deformity.
Soon after the annulment, Prince, who was once worth £100million, took Manuela with him to Bible study classes with the Jehovah's Witnesses.
After a hush-hush romance, superstar and fan tied the knot in a Jehovah's Witness wedding in Hawaii on New Year's Eve 2001.
A year later, in a private ceremony at the Kingdom Hall in Chanhassen, Minnesota, Prince and Mani were baptised into their new faith in front of the 167-strong congregation.
A small bathtub-sized pool was hired for the occasion. Wearing knee-length robes with swimsuits underneath, they became full members of the church by being immersed in the pool.
Ronald Scofield - one of the elders of the Chanhassen Congregation, Prince's new place of worship - says it was a special day for all.
"Every time one of our members gets baptised it's exciting. But this was exceptionally exciting because it was someone who has made a lot of changes to their life.
"We have watched Prince since he started studying the Bible and noticed a dramatic change. It's something to be very proud of."
The death of Prince's mother, jazz singer Mattie Shaw, was a turning point for the star, who has sold more than 100million albums.
Her dying wishes were for him to become a Jehovah's Witness, as she had been for most of her life, and to see him married. He tied the knot with Mani weeks before his mother passed away and six months after the death of his father, pianist and bandleader John L Nelson.
As part of his new life, Prince and Manuela pay weekly visits to the residents of Minneapolis. At times, Scofield accompanies the couple and their bodyguards.
He admits it can take a good few minutes before stunned homeowners recover from the shock of finding a superstar at their door.
Speaking publicly about Prince's new beliefs for the first time, Scofield confirms: "He's so well known that when he turns up on people's doorsteps, it really surprises them.
"To see him in a Christian lifestyle is very pleasant. He's doing very well and spiritually he seems to be making a great deal of progress, too.
"We go on Bible studies together and work in field service, the door-to-door ministry that Jehovah's Witnesses are known for. When you get past the initial shock of actually meeting Prince, he is very persuasive. He uses the scriptures very well."
After a decade of seclusion, the man christened Prince Rogers Nelson is back to being plain old Prince and playing the hits that made him famous such as Purple Rain, Let's Go Crazy and Little Red Corvette.
And no longer is he synonymous with Paisley Park and Minneapolis.
These days, he and Manuela spend much of their time in Los Angeles or the sprawling £3million grey stone mansion he bought at 61 The Bridle Path in an upmarket area of Toronto. At first, mystery surrounded the purchase of the luxury home by a firm called Gamillah Holdings, until it was discovered that the company's president is one Manuela Testolini.
While the couple are away touring the US, builders are constructing a large gatehouse and a new fence, complete with tennis court and pool.
Though it seems a world away, the estate is just a five-minute drive from Mani's parents' tiny apartment.
Despite the age gap and the star's colourful past, Prince has been welcomed with open arms by the Testolini family.
In January, residents of the village of Calabogie - on the outskirts of Ottawa - couldn't believe their eyes when he and Mani arrived in a gleaming limousine for the modest wedding of her sister Daniela to businessman Michael Dykeman. Onlookers say Prince and his wife happily mingled with the other 80 guests during the reception at the Dickson Manor ski lodge.
The singer admits that along with a new wife, he also has a new set of values. "There's no more envelope to push," he says. "I pushed it off the table. It's on the floor. Let's move forward."
Prince also says that TV viewers are now bombarded with dirty music videos.
"Back when I made sexy tunes, the sexiest thing on TV was Dynasty and if you watch it now, it's like the Brady Bunch," he explains.
"My song Darling Nikki was considered porn because I said the word masturbate. That's not me any more."
But with the new tour and album to sell, maybe the wife and new beliefs are just another marketing tool being used by one of the world's ultimate showmen.
Among those with a view about the "new" Prince is Minneapolis gossip columnist CJ, who has followed his career for years, much to the annoyance of the artist himself who wrote a song about her called Billy Jack Bitch.
"A lot of credit is being given to Manuela," she says.
"Both his parents died recently, too. And that's the last barrier to realising that you, too, will die. Maybe that's the reason for the change in personality.
"He was always capable of monogamy but the man got bored quickly. The traumatic death of his baby changed all that. It affected him in a big way.
"People are curious as to why he's changed. The joke here in Minneapolis is that it looks like they finally got the medication right."
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The End of the World Isn't Nigh
When People Leave the Closed World of the Jehovah's Witnesses, They are 'Disfellowshipped' and Rejected by their Closest Friends.
The Big Issue - UK/July 17, 2000
Sam Hart reports on life after faith
I have got to come to terms with the fact that I've abused my own children," says Bill, matter of factly. Bill Blackmore is a 56-year-old businessman. He has spent the most of his time on Earth waiting for it to be annihilated. Bill is a former Jehovah's Witness. He and his wife Julia have lost their faith. "I'd been having doubts for around 13 years but I was so indoctrinated I didn't leave," says Julia.
They are currently embroiled in a bizarre battle to disentangle themselves from the religion they say has controlled their lives for the last 38 years. The Blackmores have forgone birthdays and Christmases, avoided non-Witness friends, frowned on academic and career success and shut out independent thought. Their 23-year-old son Abel has attempted suicide. They say their former faith must take some of the blame. "It's an abusive system. You don't allow your children to have a normal life. They think the end of the world is coming," says Bill. "They are discouraged from having non-Witness friends and told they are different. If you don't fit the mould it can be hard. Abel didn't fit the mould so easily."
Bill and Julia aren't bitter - they just want out. But walking away is not that easy. The Blackmores are in the process of being expelled from the church and face a lifetime of rejection from the people they looked upon as their closest friends.
The Watchtower Bible and Tract Society that heads the church was formed in 1884. It promises a place in heaven for 144,000 elite, and paradise on earth for run-of-the-mill Witnesses, or 'The Other Sheep', as they are known. The end of the world has been well-and-truly nigh for more than 100 years. Key dates - like 1975, which was largely touted for the end of the world - have come and gone without so much as a sniff of Armageddon. The Watchtower claims it has never given a definite date for the world's demise. But people around in 1975 tell a different story. "We sold our house and Bill gave up his job because we were told we wouldn't need them," storms Julia. "How dare they claim they didn't say it."
Disobeying the rules results in expulsion - or 'disfellowshipping' as it is known. Wayward Witnesses, such as the Blackmores, are tried in kangaroo court hearings held by church elders. These can be used for any number of transgressions, from smoking to losing your faith. But the rules can change. The latest example being confusion over the permissibility of blood transfusions. Recent press reports claim that the Watchtower has done a U-turn over its ban on the procedure, angering many people whose loved ones have died through adherence to the religion's rules. But the Watchtower insists its stance remains consistent. A spokesman says: "You wouldn't be disfellowshipped if you had a transfusion, but you would be disassociating yourself by putting yourself outside god's law." The disfellowshipped have their names read out in Kingdom Halls (places of worship) and are shunned by other Witnesses, a practice that can have devastating effects. Those brought up in the faith often have no other friends or family to turn to.
"It is actually a very cruel process," says Doug Harris from Reach Out Trust, a Christian-based charity which has been monitoring Witness activity for the last 18 years. "Not only has your whole belief system crumbled, but you have no one to talk to about it. It turns husband against wife and stops grandparents from ever seeing their grandchildren." Shunning can be so serious that one woman took the Watchtower to court in America when none of her friends would speak to her. She lost the case when the court said intervention would be an infringement of religious freedom.
Although the Blackmores have not yet been formally disfellowshipped, they are feeling the effects already. "People who we looked on as our closest friends now have nothing to do with us. It's like the McCarthy trials in America. People thought they would be contaminated by even talking to communists. People believe they are giving up their chance of eternal life by talking to us." "My mates started calling me the Antichrist," says Bill's son Adam, 28, who was disfellowshipped last year for questioning the faith. "People who I thought were my friends wouldn't even look me in the eye. I came to the conclusion that maybe they weren't my real mates after all."
The family business has also collapsed as former friends now refuse to trade with them.
The Blackmores are unusual in that they are challenging the decision to start disfellowship procedures against them. "We have done nothing wrong. We have the right to believe what we believe without being shunned." But for many the strain is too much. One woman who was disfellowshipped for forming a relationship with a non-Witness told The Big Issue: "It was terrible. My own mother would not speak to me. When I got pregnant, I couldn't stand it anymore. I couldn't stand the thought of giving birth without her being there. I had to repent and go back."
Bill tells of another couple who were disfellowshipped for alleged immorality. "They came to Kingdom Hall three times a week for eight years. Everyone ignored them. No one would make eye contact but they just kept coming until the elders decided they were allowed back in again."
The Watchtower refutes any claims of cruelty. "We see ourselves as a family," says a spokesman. "We love one another. If a Witness was truly repentant it would give us great joy." They claim that disfellowshipping is a loving act and that religion needs discipline. They use the Bible to back up their claims: "Quit mixing in company with anyone called a brother that is a fornicator or a greedy person or an idolater or a reviler or a drunkard." 1 Corinthians 5:11.
"It's very clever. They tell you you're elite and special and that's why other people don't like you," says one former Witness. "You're kept very busy with meetings and spreading the word so there's no time to think. Questioning the faith is a big taboo. In the end I decided I wanted a life with questions I couldn't answer rather than a life with questions I wasn't allowed to ask."
The Blackmores are still trying to fill the hole left by their religion. "When I look back," says Julia. "I just think, 'Where were our brains?'"
For support and information, see:
www.welcome.to/witnesscd, or http://members.xoom.com/ WitnessAidUK/index.html. Call The Reach Out Trust on 0208-332 7785, or see www.reachouttrust.org. The official Jehovah's Witness site is www.watchtower.org
Note: A few comments from Bill Blackmore on the above article in the interests of accuracy:
As with most media articles there are a couple of mistakes in the above. Bill is 52 years old. Abel is 28 years old. The Blackmore's loss of faith is not a loss of faith in God, the Bible, or Bible based Christianity, but in the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society - the cult most people know as Jehovah's witnesses. The selling of their home and change of employment pre-1975 was not as a result of direct instructions given them by the Society. It was a response to the general expectations within the organisation at the time - expectations fuelled by the Society's literature and encouraged by its official representatives around the world. (July 30, 2000)
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Witnesses cost me my family
Halifax Herald (Canada), February 13, 2000
By Susan LeBlanc
Church kept kids away - Waverley man
Arnold Fox has kept it bottled up for 25 years.
He doesn't want to appear crazy.
"People just don't believe that these things take place, and they do," says Fox, 67.
The retired Fall River man says the Jehovah's Witnesses had a role in the 1975 disappearance of his wife and two youngest children. Grief-stricken, Fox paid a private investigation company to pursue the family across Canada.
But he has never seen them again.
It's a startling tale, which Randy Duplak, his lawyer at the time, remembers to this day.
"It was an unbelievable scenario that people just wouldn't co-operate, denied knowledge, denied knowing where his wife and children were," says Duplak, now a provincial government lawyer.
"It was almost like a spy game you see on a TV movie. You didn't see it in real life."
Duplak says he had no reason to doubt Fox's theory, because Fox appeared credible and had been "an insider" - a Witness - until being evicted from the group, or disfellowshipped, two months before his family vanished. Fox says smoking was the reason he was given for being kicked out of the Witness congregation in Dartmouth's Woodlawn area. Smoking is still grounds for being disfellowshipped.
Fox had smoked "for a thousand years . . . played the fiddle and drank and all that good stuff" after running away from his Halifax home, and his Jehovah's Witness mother, at age 16.
Within five or six years he returned and, on May 11, 1957, he married Catherine Lilley Brecknell in Bethany United Church in Halifax.
Influenced by Fox's mother, Catherine converted to the Witnesses. Fox got involved "to a degree," though he says it was half-hearted.
Sadly, his wife suffered from mental illness and attempted suicide twice, he says. In 1965, she took their young son Terry and left Arnold, aided in hiding by Witnesses in Toronto, he says. He found her and, "after having to talk to about 16 bloody Witnesses," brought her home.
Afterwards, they lived what Fox calls "a roller-coaster ride." According to 1974-75 medical records contained in Fox's legal file, and which he has allowed Duplak to show to The Sunday Herald, the Foxes shared an "unhappy" and even "unhealthy" relationship.
Duplak says the medical records were obtained to satisfy lawyers that Catherine wasn't running because Fox was abusive.
In 1975, the couple was living on Bella Vista Drive in Dartmouth and had three children - Terry, 17, Daniel about eight, and Coleen, about six. "I'd had enough religion - and that's putting it in very short form - but the last thing I had said was, 'The children shall no longer attend the Kingdom Hall,' " Fox says.
He knew that made him vulnerable with the Witnesses, because as the father and an obvious doubter, he could try to override the group's ban on blood transfusions if his children were under medical care. Fox was summoned to the nearby Kingdom Hall to appear before a judicial committee. He went, knowing he was to be disfellowshipped. Using smoking as the grounds "was a ploy. They had to use something. . . . The point is, they couldn't have helped (my wife) away on a permanent basis
On Aug. 24, 1975, Fox returned home with Daniel and discovered his wife had fled with Coleen.
On Sept. 15, Daniel "was picked up at school, a ticket was put around his neck and he was put on board a flight to Toronto" to meet his mother, Fox says.
He says son Terry, a devout Witness who would soon marry, admitted that he and "others" had taken Daniel to the Halifax airport. This story is contained in Fox's affidavit dated Oct. 28, 1977, which was filed with the courts in the preliminary stages of Fox's child-custody application. The affidavit was also used to access telephone records in the search for the family. Fox later dropped the custody proceeding because he could not locate the children.
The Sunday Herald tracked down Terry Fox at his home in Lethbridge, Alta. He is still a Jehovah's Witness.
He is hesitant to discuss his father's allegations. But he does not deny Arnold Fox's version of events. He will only say his father is being unfair about the role of Jehovah's Witnesses in the affair.
"The family didn't ever split up over religious reasons," says Terry Fox, 41. "It was such a wild situation. It was so odd and all the rest of it. I don't feel able to elaborate and lay the rest of it on the table." Terry Fox says he last spoke with his father in 1977 and "left the ball in Dad's court" as far as future contact. "I haven't heard from him since." An ex-Witness supports Arnold Fox's story, saying he knew the elder who helped take Daniel to the airport. That elder has since died, he says.
By the time Daniel disappeared, Fox had already hired Duplak, a young lawyer then with the Dartmouth firm Weldon Misener and Covert. The matter was "the kidnapping of his child, Coleen Heather Fox," Duplak alleged in his Nov. 10, 1977, affidavit filed in the early stages of the child-custody application. Duplak squirrelled away Fox's file because the case was so intriguing. Inside are the photographs Fox supplied to help identify his family. One shows a smiling young girl and an older boy standing outside, barefoot and proudly holding a fish between them.
Another shows Catherine, with a beehive hairdo and glasses, posing with the two boys near a lake.
The third photo is a shot of a young Arnold, Catherine and two of the children huddling against the wind.
The loss of the children left Fox "almost out of my mind with grief and sadness." He also feared for their safety because he believed Catherine was suicidal.
He says he went immediately to police, who told him it wasn't a crime for a mother to take her children. (In 1982, the Criminal Code was amended to make it an offence for a parent to abduct his or her child, even when there is no court custody order.)
Fox says police were able to verify that the children were OK, but said they could do nothing further. Fox asked Duplak to hire private investigators, and World Investigation Service of Toronto was chosen. (The firm no longer appears in the telephone directory.)
From November 1975 until October 1976, investigators followed the family from Toronto to various addresses in Victoria, B.C., always coming up short. Fox had learned through a friend in airport security, who is now dead, that the limousine carrying Daniel had gone to a Toronto address, but this was a string of over 100 townhouses.
Because Fox wanted the search done quietly to keep the family from bolting, investigators opted against banging on each of those 100-plus doors. In a letter to Duplak dated March 5, 1976, World Investigation Service reported they had noticed a Jehovah's Witness Kingdom Hall near the townhouse development, but "following Sunday services . . . no one resembling the photographs of Mrs. Fox was observed."
Duplak says there was little police could do. Fox's file refers to a Dartmouth police investigation running from August 1976 until Feb. 16, 1977. Police concluded Catherine and the children might have moved to the United States. That lead was checked, but the U.S. Consulate in Victoria reported Catherine Fox had not applied for an immigration visa. Fox even speculated that the family had changed its name.
In his 1977 affidavit, Duplak stated, "Our investigations show and I do verily believe that Catherine Fox and Coleen Heather Fox (and Daniel Patrick Fox) were transported by members of the Jehovah Witness sect . . . (and) are being harboured and hidden by members of the sect." Today, Duplak still thinks Catherine had help.
"Somebody had to be helping them, for whatever reason she might have left," he says. "It was impossible to trace. It was well done. . . . There were no mistakes."
Dennis Charland, public affairs director for the Witnesses' governing Watchtower Bible and Tract Society in Canada, says there would be nothing wrong with fellow Witnesses helping a woman who wants to leave her husband. Charland cannot comment on Fox's story, but says, "to suggest that (his family disappeared) because of the church, well, that's heresy. "We have nothing to hide," Charland said from Halton Hills, Ont.
In metro, community relations chairman Grant Avery said he does not know the circumstances of Fox's case.
"We keep those matters (of disfellowship and membership) very confidential, and the individuals, they know that as well," Avery says. During the three or four years following the disappearance, Fox also hired police officers in British Columbia and Ontario to do private sleuthing for him. He says he spent about $15,000 trying to find his children.
"Quite frankly, I would rather deal with the Mafia than deal with that organization," he says with bitterness. Fox moved to Newfoundland, trying to forget. He met Betty, whom he would later marry and have a son with. It was a new life. But when Fox returned to Nova Scotia around 1980, the tragedy hit him all over again.
"I folded up for about two months. There were just too many nights I sat in that old La-Z-Boy of mine and cried my eyes out," he says. "I don't care who the man is, unless he's made of granite, it literally tears you apart."
In 1983, he started divorce proceedings against Catherine. Not knowing her whereabouts, he had the papers delivered to her sister in P.E.I. He did not hear from Catherine, and the uncontested divorce was granted on June 4, 1984.
Fox stated in documents he did not know the children's whereabouts and did not request custody. Last Valentine's Day, his daughter Coleen telephoned out of the blue, and they had an awkward 15-minute conversation. He learned his ex-wife had committed suicide about three years earlier.
Coleen said she was calling from Western Canada, that she was married to an older man and had children. Fox assumed she was still a Witness. She promised to write and send photos of the grandchildren he has never seen. She has not contacted him since.
"There were a lot of things I would love to ask her. I don't know where all this fear comes from (on her part), because as children ages six and seven, when I came home, they'd come running to me with open arms, and we had a great rapport."
Fox has heard that his oldest son is in Alberta, is married and has children. He hasn't tried to contact him again, because "it would be to no avail. He won't speak to me." He has no idea what became of Daniel.
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"Awakened to the Watchtower"
August 1999
By a 5th generation Jehovah's Witness
I was a 5th generation Jehovah's Witness. I quit attending meetings as a Witness 3 years ago.
I was taught that the end was so close that education was frivolous. I felt a need to attend college to further my education. Being a mother of two prompted me to consider the need for such an education should financial responsibility fall on me. After beginning classes, I began receiving frequent visits from the elders in my congregation to discourage my efforts. They felt I needed to be spending more time in the ministry.
I had a personal struggle with the ministry because both of my children suffer from ADHD and manic-depressive Disorder. It was very difficult for me to take them door-to-door to do Witness work. I was often discouraged by their behavior and by criticism from others that did not understand my children's problems. My conscience was bothered taking my children in service because I felt their behavior was reproachful to God's organization.
My husband, who was also a Witness, was upset by the visits from the elders. Those visits left me extremely depressed and upset. My husband instructed me to tell the elders that if they wanted to visit with us, they should call and make an appointment to come when he was home. Even after that request they still persisted. My husband made a statement to someone in the congregation that he didn't like me being harassed and if necessary he would file a "restraining order" to keep them away. Then the visits ceased for awhile.
It seems to be a common belief among Witnesses that children with psychological problems like mine are perceived as possessed by the Devil. I personally witnessed families destroying objects in their home to rid their home of demons. Psychiatry and medication is discouraged as "worldly" influences deviating from God's truth.
My children's dysfunction reached the point that we were forced to seek professional help and medicate them. It became increasingly obvious to me that the elders in the congregation lacked the skills and qualifications to deal with our issues in a professional manner.
After speaking many times with a therapist, we began evaluating the structure of our family background and our history as Witnesses. I began seeing parallels between our family problems and religious fanaticism. Among some relatives there exists paranoia, obsessive, neurotic, and abusive authority behavior. It was quite an awakening. My family was extremely critical of my therapy. They felt I needed to ground myself more firmly in the "Truth".
My son's behavioral problems intensified after therapy. He confided in our therapist that a relative who was mentally retarded had molested him.
I approached my grandmother, who was the caregiver for that relative about the situation. She rebuked me and denied the allegation and stated that due to my son's mental illness, it was a fabrication of his imagination. At this point I didn't know what to believe, so I let it go, as you never think something like this is possible Jehovah's organization. We were taught that things like this only happen to people "in the world".
My grandmother insisted these problems were a result of my neglectful ministry and poor meeting attendance. Boasting that she would see better results than my husband and I , she began a personal bible study with him . He spent much time with my grandparents in there home, visiting for several days and even weeks at a time. I thought that this was normal. I also spent much cherished time with my grandparents when I was a child. My grandmother insisted that my son was better when he was in her home receiving spiritual nourishment than when he was with us. She requested to take him into her home on a trial basis, to which we agreed. I wanted the best for my son.
She began withholding vital information regarding my son's behavior at school and in their home, to the appearance that he was doing well. He was acting out in school, sitting in class in a daze, refusing to do school work, and speaking of demons, and death and destruction, and drawing morbid pictures of doom.
After several months of this, I decided it was time to take charge of the situation. One afternoon I pulled him from school and notified my grandparents that I was bringing my son home. My grandmother became enraged. I put a block on our phone and cut off complete contact with my grandparents and Jehovah's Witnesses in an attempt to take charge of our lives.
Several elders within the congregation knew about my son's molestation and covered it up to protect my grandparents. As far as they were concerned it was just a family matter, and they could not get involved. A campaign of ridicule started against our family by the elders. We resolved to gently fade away from the organization in an attempt to rebuild our lives.
It has been almost two years since this began. Our family is slowly healing. We began attending a church of our choice only after much research about the history of religions in existence today. Many well-meaning Witnesses whom we encounter within the community encourage us to return to meetings.
A few weeks ago, we were in the grocery store after church and two elders approached my husband because he was wearing a cross--this created a scene in the store bringing attention to our family. That same evening we were having dinner with my parents (who have been out of the organization for 12 years) and some of their friends when we noticed a vehicle parked outside their home with the motor running. I looked out the window and was able to identify the car as one owned by an elder we encountered at the store.
The next week we were approached by a Witness who insisted we needed to attend the Sunday meeting because the Circuit Overseer was visiting and he felt we would be encouraged by the visit. We stated we were attending another church.
At this point, we felt it was time to inform a close personal friend and my husband's parents, who were Witnesses--of our new religious preference.
Last week while eating dinner a gentleman who said he was an elder in the local congregation interrupted us with a phone call. He informed me that he was investigating a rumor that I was attending another church. He said that I could be disfellowshiped on this basis. I told him that the "rumor" was correct. He then asked me if my husband was also attending another church. I told him that I do not speak for my husband and handed the phone to him. He questioned my husband and stated that our cooperation would be appreciated. He requested that we write a letter of disassociation to which my husband agreed. When I was putting up the phone, I overheard a conversation between the elder and others, it seemed this was actually a conference call. The statement was made, "That's all we needed, now we got em." I was totally dismayed.
Jehovah's Witnesses have a way of further victimizing people when their principles are challenged.
Copyright © Rick Ross
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Jehovah's Witnesses speak out: Part 2
Jehovah's Witnesses speak out
Echo Magazine/January 22, 1999
By Bobbi Dugan
See Part One
A panel comprising former Jehovah's Witnesses meeting with Echo observed that the sect at times seems obsessed with sexual sin. The gathering of men and women agreed that at times, the organization seems willing to forgive its members of anything, but sexual sin.
At the same time, the group's long history is spotted with plenty of stories about some of the sect's elite involved in inappropriate sexual behavior. These stories have included elders who controlled individual congregations and the Governing Body of the Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society (WTB&TS), which controls the entire membership.
Bethel boys will be boys
At Brooklyn Bethel, the Governing Body holds sway over the 5.6 million members of Jehovah's Witnesses. It cannot handle such a task alone, however. Help comes from Pioneers, Jehovah's Witnesses who volunteer to distribute literature, teach Bible classes, build Kingdom Halls, or do what is necessary to keep the sect operational.
Select Pioneers are privileged to go to Bethel* to serve God--and the GB.
In his book Apocalypse Delayed: The Story of Jehovah's Witnesses, M. James Penton described the strange life within what he calls the publishing houses or "factories" of Brooklyn Bethel.
"Besides two huge factory buildings, the complex includes several residence buildings for the many hundreds of workers who produce literature for Witnesses throughout the world and, additionally, for the administrative, clerical, and support staffs which are necessary for the governance of a highly centralized religious movement."
Originally, only young men were granted entrance to Bethel. In more recent years, after a number of scandals hinting at homosexual activity in the dorms, women have been allowed.
Because marriage between Bethelites was forbidden, admitting women did little to relieve the young men's sexual tension. The rumors of homosexuality continued.
Today, married couples are permitted to toil together for the organization. However, several correspondents told Echo that gay pairings still are common at Bethel. The conditions are ripe for what psychologists call "institutionalized homosexuality."
Until the mid-1970s, Bethel pioneers stayed and worked at least four years, Penton wrote. Now, one year is expected, although workers who maintain a good record can stay longer.
The workers are not paid a living wage. They receive a stipend for personal items. The factories would be considered sweatshops by today's standards, but Penton explains that workers "accept the regimen of life at Brooklyn .... They are both ideologically committed and highly disciplined individuals who have been taught to accept authority, usually without question."
However, Penton continues, "This does not mean that there are no serious problems brought about by the severity of lifestyle; there are."
Promiscuity became a problem once women were admitted to Bethel. But "heterosexual offenses have never been the serious problem that homosexual ones have been," Penton states. "In fact, [former Watch Tower leader Nathan] Knorr, who seems to have had a fixation on sexual sins, kept the matter of homosexuality and masturbation so constantly before workers at the Watch Tower headquarters that one is forced to wonder if he did not have homosexual tendencies himself."
If so, it might explain why he seemed to protect Percy Chapman, the alleged one-time lover of GB member Leo Greenlees. In 1959, under hint of homosexual scandal, Knorr went to Canada to replace Chapman, who was the Canadian Branch overseer.
Knorr demoted Chapman to janitor, but let him remain at Toronto Bethel--on condition he marry.
According to Larry D., a gay Toronto former JW, "Percy ... was totally anti-marriage and he made sure that none of the "Bethel boys" even contemplated the subject ...."
Larry described the Bethel boys of the 1950s. "They were all young and handsome, hand-picked by Percy Chapman; there was even an elite group known as 'Percy's boys' who would accompany him to expensive restaurants and bars ... at the time, Bethel was on Irwin Avenue in the center of the gay district of Toronto. There was even a Kingdom Hall above 'The Parkside,' one of Toronto's few gay bars in the fifties and sixties."
After Chapman's disgrace, Larry, who personally knew Greenlees, wrote, "Poor Leo Greenlees, Percy's close companion for three decades ... had to find himself a new roommate. ... He was very open about his homosexuality to those few good-looking young brothers .... He would bring along another Bethel boy, Lorne Bridle, who was very good looking and charming."
Regardless of his dubious relationship with Chapman, Greenlees became Treasurer of WTB&TS and one of the Governing Body. According to Larry, "He managed to escape the witch hunt at Brooklyn Bethel in the early seventies when dozens of Bethel boys were disfellowshipped after learning of their midnight trysts in the sauna in Brooklyn Bethel."
Other Bethel stalwarts also became grist for the rumor mill.
Come here, little girl
The heterosexual indiscretions of Jehovah's Witnesses founder Charles Taze Russell are more shocking and easier to document than JW gay activity.
When Russell's wife Maria sued for divorce, court records show she testified that Russell had engaged in an "improper relationship" with Rose, an orphan who was about 10 years old when the Russells took her into their home.
Maria told the court that not only had she caught Russell at night in Rose's bedroom, but in the servant girl's room as well. In fact, "I found him locked in the servant girl's room," Maria said.
According to Maria and other witnesses, Russell fondled Rose, kissed her, held her on his knee, and called her "his little wife." When the girl responded, "I'm not your wife," Russell answered, "I will call you daughter, and a daughter has nearly all the privileges of a wife."
The Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society denies any impropriety took place. In fact, it denies Russell, who lived apart from Maria for the next 50 years, ever was married.
"No one was ever produced who gave testimony against the moral character of Pastor Russell," WTB&TS Secretary/Treasurer W.E. Van Amburgh wrote. "To his dying day, he was able to say ... that he lived a life of absolute celibacy."
Family Secrets
To hear something other than the WTB&TS party line, Echo contacted active Jehovah's Witnesses through a bulletin board service on a JW Web site. We e-mailed 25 BBS visitors--male and female, from the U.S. and several foreign countries--and asked, "How do you feel about the presence of gay members within your congregation?"
Only two U.S. women answered. One said, "I would rather not comment on that one. I feel the best people to ask on that subject are Jehovah's Witness elders. You will find them in any one of our many congregations worldwide ... all I can say is that Jehovah loves everyone that follows what the Bible says."
The other woman was a gold mine of information. For several weeks, she carried on an e-mail dialogue with this reporter. The woman, who identified herself as Kathy A., a Jehovah's Witness for 37 years, opened up a Pandora's box of child molestation, homosexuality, and anger--hers.
In her initial letter, Kathy wrote, "Since I try very hard to live by what the Bible says, I must let [God's Word] speak on this subject." She listed every familiar Biblical injunction against homosexuality, concluding, "So as you can read for yourself, God condemns homosexuality, including lesbians."
We answered that for the purpose of this article, we wanted to know how she personally felt about gay people, and whether she knew any.
"I hate immorality ... whether it be homosexuality, adultery, bestiality, etc. And yes, I do know some homosexuals. One died from aids (sic) one has it, the other I don't know," Kathy wrote. After more religious instruction, she ended the letter with an intriguing tease: "I do have a personal experience on homosexuality you may not want to hear."
But we did. It took several more exchanges to coax it out of her.
Although she denies he is gay, it appears she may have a gay son. She wrote that her son was "raped and ruined" as a child by his cousin.
"When my son was born there was obviously a difference ... no one wanted to play with him because he was a hard child to get along with .... When he was almost eight, a family member, 16 at the time, said he would baby-sit him."
According to Kathy, the older boy babysat her son for the next several years. During that time, the cousin sexually molested the younger boy.
"My son was 12 when he told me what happened to him .... The police got involved but this 16- (now 20-) year-old denied it. But in his room there was found behind a picture on the wall some women's clothing."
A doctor told Kathy her son's sphincter muscle was "destroyed." Emotionally, she also was destroyed, as she was left to deal with the uncomfortable reality that her child had engaged in homosexual activity for four years with another boy, and never told her.
"My son went to the mental hospital for six weeks as his behavior was out of control," Kathy continued her story. "There we were told that when this kind of sexual behavior happens to a young child, this is what they come to expect as normal and that when he got out of the hospital he would need to be closely monitored for years and he shouldn't be around young children unattended.
"This was a nightmare for us. When my son turned 16, we had to have him committed ... my son was confused for a long time about his sexual identity .... My son (now 22) is not normal today. He is scarred for life, and so is the other young man (the son's cousin). My son is not a homosexual, but neither does he have any female relationship ... my son is still in therapy."
Kathy said she believes homosexuality is caused by child molestation. She said the victims become sinners who molest other children and destroy families. Her experience is all the proof she needs.
"I don't hate homosexuals. If they want to experiment, then let them experiment on people their own age, not on young children."
The Bible according to WTB&TS
Professional counselors have trouble helping JWs deal with sexual problems, because to them, all sexual behavior is determined by biblical interpretation. There is no room for understanding, forgiveness, medical science or alternative viewpoints.
JWs hold the Bible before them like a shield. The Bible they use is the WTB&TS' own translation, which it publishes as the New World Translation.
According to Edmond Gruss, who wrote Apostles of Denial, Watchtower representatives claimed that when New World Translation was released in the 1950s, it had been translated and approved by competent scholars.
In the foreword, the translators wrote, "Religious traditions, hoary with age, have been taken for granted and gone unchallenged and uninvestigated. These have been interwoven into the translations to color the thought."
In his book, Gruss countered, "With the arrogant statement, the Watchtower committee waves aside hundreds of the greatest linguists of all time and substitutes the Committee of Seven ... a committee composed of unknowns who hold little in the way of degrees or scholarly recognition."
In his definitive study, In Search of Christian Freedom, Raymond Franz, a former member of the Governing Body, points out the convenience of creative Bible translation.
"Who really is the faithful and discreet slave whom his Master appointed over his domestics, to give them their food at the proper time? Happy is that slave if his master on arriving finds him doing so. Truly I say to you, he will appoint him over all his belongings."--Matt: 24:45-47, New World Translation.
"In their calls for loyalty and submission, no other portion of Scripture is so frequently appealed to by the Governing Body of Jehovah's Witnesses ... it is employed primarily to support the concept of a centralized administrative authority," Franz writes.
"There is not the slightest question that in the minds of Jehovah's Witnesses ... the "food at the due time" provided by the "slave" is the information supplied by the Brooklyn-centered Watch Tower Organization," Franz says.
Follow or perish
The Jehovah's Witnesses' hold on members is so tight, most find it difficult to leave the sect. Some escape intact. Others, unable to cope with the dichotomy of JW beliefs and the real world, opt for suicide.
In April 1997, Air Force Capt. Craig Button, on an Arizona training flight, broke formation from his unit, flew to Colorado, and crashed his plane into the side of a mountain.
The story made national headlines. People speculated about reasons for what happened. One newspaper report suggested Button committed suicide over a gay love affair with another officer.
In a Dec. 25 New York Times article, James Brooke wrote, "The pilot's parents ... angrily reject the conclusion that he committed suicide." Brooke revealed that Button "raised as the only child of elderly parents, broke as a teenager with the faith of his parents, who are Jehovah's Witnesses."
"My mother is a Jehovah's Witness, raised me to think that joining the military is wrong," Button once wrote.
The Air Force claims Button committed suicide over unrequited love for a woman. "It was a dramatic example of a man who seems to have everything going for him in his life, yet cannot have the woman he loves passionately," the official report concludes.
At the time of the original investigation, however, the woman in question denied she and Button were ever more than friends.
Even more damning is the story of Kelly Blake, a Phoenix woman who poured gasoline over herself and her three children, then set the family ablaze in March 1998.
TV reporters said the woman had become very religious and that she was obsessed with the "sinfulness" of herself and the children she had out of wedlock.
The woman's daughter died at the scene of the fire. The rest of the family was rushed to the hospital. The mother and one son were in critical condition.
A neighborhood boy told Arizona Republic reporters that Blake refused to allow her children attend school for "religious reasons." He said the family was Jehovah's Witnesses, the Republic reported.
National headlines of abuse, sexual dysfunction, suicide and murder are not surprising to the former JWs who talked to Echo. In the next issue, they will tell their individual stories.
*Each JW branch has its own Bethel: London Bethel, Toronto Bethel, etc. For the purpose of this article, unless otherwise noted, Bethel will refer to Brooklyn Bethel, the international seat of the Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society.
See Part One
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Keep the Faith or lose the Family: Part 1
Jehovah's Witnesses speak out
Echo Magazine/January 7, 1999
By Bobbi Dugan
See Part Two
Topics
Cult or Sect?
David and Goliath
Apostles of Denial
Awake! And open your wallets
Go Forth and Tell All Nations
Suffer the Children
Bethel boys will be boys
Come here, little girl
Family Secrets
The Bible according to WTB&TS
Follow or perish
So different and yet so alike
Five more people--five similar stories
And more mail
Those who beg to disagree
Many of the former Jehovah's Witnesses interviewed for this article gave permission to use their last names. Some asked us not to. To protect all those who shared their stories, and to spare their families further difficulties, we have used first names only for most participants.
What began as a simple news article about a religion's attempt to shut down a gay Web site, turned into a months-long investigation that uncovered physical and emotional abuse, spies and enforcers, and scores of broken families.
It isn't an easy read. This shouldn't happen in the United States. But it does- and in every other nation that has been infiltrated by the secretive and manipulative religion known as Jehovah's Witnesses.
A panel of gay former Jehovah's Witnesses, invited by Echo to a round table discussion, testified they grew up knowing two things for certain: Some day they would be discovered. And when they were, they would lose their religion and probably all contact with loved ones. Fear and the anticipation of punishment is what their faith bestowed upon them from birth.
Like many religions, Jehovah's Witnesses doctrine does not permit sexual activity outside of marriage. But the members of the panel believe this religion seeks out sexual sinners-especially gays-and when it finds them, it sets out to discredit them and to cut off family ties.
Cult or Sect?
Experts disagree on whether Jehovah's Witnesses is a cult or merely a strange sect.
Rick Ross is an internationally known cult expert and intervention specialist. He states, "I do not regard the Witnesses as a cult-although many do. Instead, my view of the group is that they are a totalitarian and destructive group that employs coercive thought reform techniques."
Ross acknowledges he has not had specific experience with gay former Jehovah's Witnesses, but he understands well what they have suffered.
"I have been retained for interventions regarding Jehovah's Witnesses. The group employs isolation, coercive persuasion and unreasonable fear to manipulate potential recruits and retain its members."
Panel member Scott M. calls Jehovah's Witnesses a cult. He shakes with emotion when he talks about how narrowly he escaped its clutches. Scott keeps a large vegetable crate filled with books, magazine articles, and Internet downloads about Jehovah's Witnesses and cults. He offers the material as proof of the abuse he endured growing up a Jehovah's Witness.
Brainwashing is a word the young gay man uses when he talks about his childhood. He has a list called "Eight Marks of a Mind-Control Cult" from the book Thought Reform and the Psychology of Totalism, by Robert J. Lifton. Scott ticks off the areas in which he believes the Jehovah's Witnesses earn an "A."
Isolation-Members are separated from society, forbidden educational media that might provoke critical thinking. Information is kept on each recruit by the mother organization. All are watched.
Mystical manipulation - God will punish "bad" members with accidents, ill will, loss of material goods, etc. "Good" members will be rewarded.
Demand for purity-World is black or white, good or evil. Guilt and shame are used to control individuals. All things "evil" must be avoided.
Confession-Serious sins (as defined by the group) are to be confessed immediately. Members are encouraged to spy and report on one another.
Sacred "truth"-The cult holds the only truth. Its ideology is too "sacred" to call into question. Cult leaders must be treated with absolute reverence.
Thought-terminating cliches-These are expressions or words designed to end conversation or controversy.
People vs. doctrine-Human experience and knowledge are subordinated to doctrine. Members are valuable only if they conform to doctrine.
The right to live-The group decides who has the right to exist and who does not. Outsiders can be "sinned" against in the form of lying, deception, separation from families, etc., because "outsiders are not fit to exist."
"I think being gay actually saved me," Scott said. He knew his sexual orientation at an early age. He also knew the Jehovah's Witnesses would not tolerate it. So he refused to be baptized and walked away at 18.
But Scott believes he still is recovering from those first 18 years.
David and Goliath
Jim Moon joined the Jehovah's Witnesses at about the same age Scott was when he left. Like Scott, Moon knew his sexual orientation. He said the Jehovah's Witnesses elder who recruited him in 1975 also knew. The elder told Moon it didn't matter, because Armageddon was imminent, and after that it would be okay to be gay.
"They offered me immortality, " Moon said. "Who could refuse?"
When the end of the world did not happen on schedule-a problem that has plagued Jehovah's Witnesses throughout their history-Moon was left to deal with the incompatibility of his sexuality and his religion.
Eventually, he was pressured out of the sect. The resulting trauma led him to become webmaster of A Common Bond, an Internet gay Jehovah's Witnesses support group.
The San Francisco-based site Moon operates was blocked after his Internet server received a complaint from the Watchtower Bible & Tract Society, Inc., the Jehovah's Witnesses' controlling corporation.
When his site went down, Moon sent out a distress call on the Internet.
"On July 24, 1998, our group's Web site was blocked access by GeoCities, where this site was formerly located," Moon wrote. He acknowledged that he was not surprised by the action.
A Common Bond "had been the target for some time of hate mail from current cult members, and explicit threats that they would attempt to close the site down somehow," Moon said.
GeoCities told Moon the block was because of an alleged "copyright infringement." A Common Bond had posted an illustration from a Watchtower book, Knowledge That Leads to Everlasting Light.
Moon wrote, "The illustration is supposed to be a depiction of the resurrection ... but it depicts same-sex couples embracing. The subliminal message is profound, to say the least."
GeoCities told Moon to work things out with Richard Moake of the Watchtower, who lodged the original complaint.
Moon wrote to Moake that although the Watchtower might perceive A Common Bond as "a threat to your religious organization," the site had a constitutional right to free speech. He maintained since the illustration was used "expressly for the purpose of education and information" its use was not in violation of copyright laws.
Based on years of experience with the cult, Moon didn't expect the Watchtower to budge. However, after flooding the Internet with the story, and after GeoCities received "thousands of complaints worldwide," the Web site was restored within four days, sans the offending graphic.
The unpleasant experience caused A Common Bond to obtain its own URL. When you log on to www.gayxjw.org, you see the infamous illustration, middle blanked out.
"Hey!!" text in the blank part reads, "What happened to the picture?? Click here to find out how the Watchtower tried to shut us down."
Moake was unavailable for comment. But a spokesperson for the Watchtower Bible & Tract Society did speak to Echo. The Society's director of public affairs James Pellechia declined to comment on the legalities of Moon's use of the photo, saying he is not a lawyer.
He added, however, "We are not in the business of shutting down Web sites."
Pellechia also said the Society would not "target" groups comprising former JWs.
"We would ask any Web site using copyrighted material to remove that material," Pellechia said.
Through Moon and A Common Bond, Echo located dozens of gay former JWs eager to tell their stories. The tales were frightening and sadly similar. But to understand the extent to which Jehovah's Witnesses are able to control and alter people's lives, it is necessary to understand the organization itself.
Apostles of Denial
In 1970, Edmond Charles Gruss, a religious history professor at the Los Angeles Baptist College and Theological Seminary, wrote a scholarly expose and history of the Jehovah's Witnesses titled, Apostles of Denial.
Gruss described the defining characteristic of the sect: If any facts in the long history of Christianity did not suit what the Witnesses chose to believe, they would merely deny the existence of those facts. He also wrote that the group went so far as to translate and publish its own version of the Bible, which conveniently changed key words to make scripture fit JW theology.
Charles Taze Russell is generally considered to have founded the religion now known as Jehovah's Witnesses in the late 19th century. But according to Gruss, "The Jehovah's Witnesses claim the first of their number was Abel, and that they are the modern-day representatives of the line of Bible witnesses mentioned in the Old and New Testaments."
Gruss calls the lineage claim preposterous.
In 1870, at age 18, the charismatic Russell started a Bible study class. It soon became wildly popular, and the students' adoration went to Russell's head. In 1879, he founded The Herald of the Morning, which later became The Watchtower. The newsletter showcased Russell's religious theories and scriptural interpretations.
As more people flocked to him, and as the sect's coffers filled, Russell went commercial. In 1884 he established the Zion's Watchtower Tract Society (now the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society, Inc.). It was then the sect entered into its present-day area of publishing its own versions of "The Truth."
Once Russell discovered the power of the printed word, his ambition could not be contained. He spent the rest of his ministry stumping from town to town, church to church, selling his slick tracts, books and magazines. Russell convinced his target market that it needed to purchase his publications, because the Bible could be properly understood only through his interpretations.
A showman as well as a preacher, Russell realized the best way to get people's attention was to hit them between the eyes-with The End of the World.
He dramatically predicted specific dates for the long-awaited occurrence. Alas, time and again the big day came and went with no End in sight.
This was but a minor problem for Russell. He lost followers whenever the Apocalypse failed to materialize, but like P.T. Barnum, Russell knew a sucker is born every minute. There always were new lambs to join the fold.
Awake! And open your wallets
In his book Saleskids, Duane Magnani, wrote, "From a simple bible class in the 1870s has sprung one of the world's fastest growing and most influential cults of the 20th century ... because many billions of books, magazines and other publications have been sold to the public in the name of the Watchtower Society."
The January 1986 Watchtower revealed that in 1985, at the height of its publishing prowess, "Jehovah's Witnesses placed nearly 39 million Bibles, books, and booklets in the field, as well as more than 300 million magazines."
The Watchtower, considered by the sect to be the official word of Jehovah, and Awake!, which many experts tag a superior example of propaganda, along with the Bible are the flagships of the JW publication fleet.
For years, Jehovah's Witnesses raked in the converts and the money, Magnani claims. It was easy to make a profit on the publications. The salespeople were herds of JW offspring, trained from early childhood to peddle the magazines door to door. The money was turned over to the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society, which supposedly used it only to produce more books and magazines.
However, Randall Watters, author of Free Minds Journal, has done extensive investigation into the Watchtower's publishing business. He once was a printer for the organization. In Watters' opinion, publishing has been a moneymaker for Jehovah's Witnesses since the beginning.
"The most expensive cost in printing is usually the labor," Watters explains. "The Watchtower has solved that problem by having all their work done by volunteers-none are paid. Second, there is no middleman to be paid-the Watchtower does all the advertising, marketing and shipping. Third, the more copies of a book printed, the lower its cost."
The Watchtower also has its own printing presses, binderies, and other necessities of the trade.
Watters also said, "The Watchtower has created an instant market for its publications. To release just one new book at a yearly District Assembly brings automatic sales of at least five million books."
As a tax-exempt religion, the U.S. branch of Jehovah's Witnesses is very secretive about how it is financed. Watters writes, "They fail to disclose their primary source of income. Rather, they seek to convey the impression that their income comes strictly through free will contributions, with a few estates denoted as well. No mention is made of the major source of their income, which is the distribution of books and magazines."
Since 1990, the U.S. government has forbidden Jehovah's Witnesses to sell publications without paying taxes on the income, because the sect claims nonprofit status, Watters said.
However, the children and their parents still ring doorbells. Now, they ask for "donations." The Society gives its solicitors "instructions on how to suggest the old prices for Watchtower and Awake! subscriptions," Watters says.
Go Forth and Tell All Nations
In many countries, laws governing religious moneymaking are not as strict as in the U.S. Perhaps that is one reason for the phenomenal growth of the Jehovah's Witnesses in other nations.
In 1997, official Watchtower figures claimed nearly 5.6 million members (1) in 232 "lands." Nearly 1 million of those members live in the U.S.
More interesting than the numbers is the ratio of Witnesses to the population. In the U.S., for instance, the Watchtower lists one Witness for every 274 non-Witnesses. In Curacao, it is 1 to 97. In Guadeloupe, 1 to 52.
The religion is growing rapidly in many African nations, especially those where fundamentalist Christianity already has a toehold.
In Zimbabwe, where anti-gay sentiment is nearly out of control and religious fervor is high, the ratio is 1 to 475.
But in non-Christian countries, such as India, few inroads have been made. There the ratio is 1 to 56,919.
It is difficult to determine what the Watchtower means by "lands." Its statistics list membership numbers for Alaska and Hawaii separately from the U.S.
Perhaps Jehovah's Witnesses are not yet aware the 49th and 50th states have joined the Union.
Suffer the Children
As an intervention expert, Ross has seen results of JW parenting, and he does not paint a pretty picture.
"JW children generally are somewhat isolated, insulated and withdrawn through their family involvement with the organization," Ross said. "They also often are forced to sit through long meetings and conferences and also [are] taken door to door to promote the organization/literature.
"The children for some time have been discouraged from advancing to higher education, or being involved in sports and extracurricular activities. This can be seen as a form of 'restrictive abuse."'
One could infer by reading Watchtower Society publications that physical abuse of youngsters is encouraged.
For example, here are quotes from some of the publications:
"The lessons learned at mother's knee do not make as lasting an impression as those learned while stretched across daddy's."
"All children of Adam need correction, and at times firm discipline requires the rod, in the administration of pain…At times, a parent will need to speak to the child by the administration of pain."
Perhaps the most telling is a chapter from Disciplining Children for Life, a "parenting guide" for Jehovah's Witnesses. The section is meant to instruct children on why it is okay for mommy and daddy to beat them.
It describes how animal mothers discipline their young. For example: A mother tiger "took the youngster's whole head in her mouth, squeezed and shook it, while the startled baby whimpered."
A concealed fawn, if it dares move, will "get a spanking from sharp mother hooves."
A bear gave her cub "a good wallop with her paw and sent it rolling."
Abusive animal mother of the year awards must go to a mother koala, who turns her babies over her knee "and spanks them on their bottoms for minutes on end with the flat of her hand, during which time their screams are soul-rending. "
Sexual abuse is common in societies that are almost completely sexually repressed. Married JW adults are forbidden certain erotic activities, such as oral sex.
While sex education is discouraged, children grow up hearing horror stories about sexual sin-especially homosexuality.
Many of the former JW members shared stories of sexual abuse, by family and other church members. Scott M said his older sister sexually abused him.
When he reported the abuse to parents and elders, nothing was done. Talking about sexual matters is an uncomfortable thing in the Kingdom Halls where members gather to worship. Topics such as incest, adultery and homosexuality are swept under the rug.
But while official doctrine says homosexuality is a terrible sin, several former gay JWs reported common homosexuality among the ranks.
A panel comprising former Jehovah's Witnesses meeting with Echo observed that the sect at times seems obsessed with sexual sin. The gathering of men and women agreed that at times, the organization seems willing to forgive its members of anything, but sexual sin.
At the same time, the group's long history is spotted with plenty of stories about some of the sect's elite involved in inappropriate sexual behavior. These stories have included elders who controlled individual congregations and the Governing Body of the Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society (WTB&TS), which controls the entire membership.
Bethel boys will be boys
At Brooklyn Bethel, the Governing Body holds sway over the 5.6 million members of Jehovah's Witnesses. It cannot handle such a task alone, however. Help comes from Pioneers, Jehovah's Witnesses who volunteer to distribute literature, teach Bible classes, build Kingdom Halls, or do what is necessary to keep the sect operational.
Select Pioneers are privileged to go to Bethel* to serve God--and the GB.
In his book Apocalypse Delayed: The Story of Jehovah's Witnesses, M. James Penton described the strange life within what he calls the publishing houses or "factories" of Brooklyn Bethel.
"Besides two huge factory buildings, the complex includes several residence buildings for the many hundreds of workers who produce literature for Witnesses throughout the world and, additionally, for the administrative, clerical, and support staffs which are necessary for the governance of a highly centralized religious movement."
Originally, only young men were granted entrance to Bethel. In more recent years, after a number of scandals hinting at homosexual activity in the dorms, women have been allowed.
Because marriage between Bethelites was forbidden, admitting women did little to relieve the young men's sexual tension. The rumors of homosexuality continued.
Today, married couples are permitted to toil together for the organization. However, several correspondents told Echo that gay pairings still are common at Bethel. The conditions are ripe for what psychologists call "institutionalized homosexuality."
Until the mid-1970s, Bethel pioneers stayed and worked at least four years, Penton wrote. Now, one year is expected, although workers who maintain a good record can stay longer.
The workers are not paid a living wage. They receive a stipend for personal items. The factories would be considered sweatshops by today's standards, but Penton explains that workers "accept the regimen of life at Brooklyn .... They are both ideologically committed and highly disciplined individuals who have been taught to accept authority, usually without question."
However, Penton continues, "This does not mean that there are no serious problems brought about by the severity of lifestyle; there are."
Promiscuity became a problem once women were admitted to Bethel. But "heterosexual offenses have never been the serious problem that homosexual ones have been," Penton states. "In fact, [former Watch Tower leader Nathan] Knorr, who seems to have had a fixation on sexual sins, kept the matter of homosexuality and masturbation so constantly before workers at the Watch Tower headquarters that one is forced to wonder if he did not have homosexual tendencies himself."
If so, it might explain why he seemed to protect Percy Chapman, the alleged one-time lover of GB member Leo Greenlees. In 1959, under hint of homosexual scandal, Knorr went to Canada to replace Chapman, who was the Canadian Branch overseer.
Knorr demoted Chapman to janitor, but let him remain at Toronto Bethel--on condition he marry.
According to Larry D., a gay Toronto former JW, "Percy ... was totally anti-marriage and he made sure that none of the "Bethel boys" even contemplated the subject ...."
Larry described the Bethel boys of the 1950s. "They were all young and handsome, hand-picked by Percy Chapman; there was even an elite group known as 'Percy's boys' who would accompany him to expensive restaurants and bars ... at the time, Bethel was on Irwin Avenue in the center of the gay district of Toronto. There was even a Kingdom Hall above 'The Parkside,' one of Toronto's few gay bars in the fifties and sixties."
After Chapman's disgrace, Larry, who personally knew Greenlees, wrote, "Poor Leo Greenlees, Percy's close companion for three decades ... had to find himself a new roommate. ... He was very open about his homosexuality to those few good-looking young brothers .... He would bring along another Bethel boy, Lorne Bridle, who was very good looking and charming."
Regardless of his dubious relationship with Chapman, Greenlees became Treasurer of WTB&TS and one of the Governing Body. According to Larry, "He managed to escape the witch hunt at Brooklyn Bethel in the early seventies when dozens of Bethel boys were disfellowshipped after learning of their midnight trysts in the sauna in Brooklyn Bethel."
Other Bethel stalwarts also became grist for the rumor mill.
Come here, little girl
The heterosexual indiscretions of Jehovah's Witnesses founder Charles Taze Russell are more shocking and easier to document than JW gay activity.
When Russell's wife Maria sued for divorce, court records show she testified that Russell had engaged in an "improper relationship" with Rose, an orphan who was about 10 years old when the Russells took her into their home.
Maria told the court that not only had she caught Russell at night in Rose's bedroom, but in the servant girl's room as well. In fact, "I found him locked in the servant girl's room," Maria said.
According to Maria and other witnesses, Russell fondled Rose, kissed her, held her on his knee, and called her "his little wife." When the girl responded, "I'm not your wife," Russell answered, "I will call you daughter, and a daughter has nearly all the privileges of a wife."
The Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society denies any impropriety took place. In fact, it denies Russell, who lived apart from Maria for the next 50 years, ever was married.
"No one was ever produced who gave testimony against the moral character of Pastor Russell," WTB&TS Secretary/Treasurer W.E. Van Amburgh wrote. "To his dying day, he was able to say ... that he lived a life of absolute celibacy."
Family Secrets
To hear something other than the WTB&TS party line, Echo contacted active Jehovah's Witnesses through a bulletin board service on a JW Web site. We e-mailed 25 BBS visitors--male and female, from the U.S. and several foreign countries--and asked, "How do you feel about the presence of gay members within your congregation?"
Only two U.S. women answered. One said, "I would rather not comment on that one. I feel the best people to ask on that subject are Jehovah's Witness elders. You will find them in any one of our many congregations worldwide ... all I can say is that Jehovah loves everyone that follows what the Bible says."
The other woman was a gold mine of information. For several weeks, she carried on an e-mail dialogue with this reporter. The woman, who identified herself as Kathy A., a Jehovah's Witness for 37 years, opened up a Pandora's box of child molestation, homosexuality, and anger--hers.
In her initial letter, Kathy wrote, "Since I try very hard to live by what the Bible says, I must let [God's Word] speak on this subject." She listed every familiar Biblical injunction against homosexuality, concluding, "So as you can read for yourself, God condemns homosexuality, including lesbians."
We answered that for the purpose of this article, we wanted to know how she personally felt about gay people, and whether she knew any.
"I hate immorality ... whether it be homosexuality, adultery, bestiality, etc. And yes, I do know some homosexuals. One died from aids (sic) one has it, the other I don't know," Kathy wrote. After more religious instruction, she ended the letter with an intriguing tease: "I do have a personal experience on homosexuality you may not want to hear."
But we did. It took several more exchanges to coax it out of her.
Although she denies he is gay, it appears she may have a gay son. She wrote that her son was "raped and ruined" as a child by his cousin.
"When my son was born there was obviously a difference ... no one wanted to play with him because he was a hard child to get along with .... When he was almost eight, a family member, 16 at the time, said he would baby-sit him."
According to Kathy, the older boy babysat her son for the next several years. During that time, the cousin sexually molested the younger boy.
"My son was 12 when he told me what happened to him .... The police got involved but this 16- (now 20-) year-old denied it. But in his room there was found behind a picture on the wall some women's clothing."
A doctor told Kathy her son's sphincter muscle was "destroyed." Emotionally, she also was destroyed, as she was left to deal with the uncomfortable reality that her child had engaged in homosexual activity for four years with another boy, and never told her.
"My son went to the mental hospital for six weeks as his behavior was out of control," Kathy continued her story. "There we were told that when this kind of sexual behavior happens to a young child, this is what they come to expect as normal and that when he got out of the hospital he would need to be closely monitored for years and he shouldn't be around young children unattended.
"This was a nightmare for us. When my son turned 16, we had to have him committed ... my son was confused for a long time about his sexual identity .... My son (now 22) is not normal today. He is scarred for life, and so is the other young man (the son's cousin). My son is not a homosexual, but neither does he have any female relationship ... my son is still in therapy."
Kathy said she believes homosexuality is caused by child molestation. She said the victims become sinners who molest other children and destroy families. Her experience is all the proof she needs.
"I don't hate homosexuals. If they want to experiment, then let them experiment on people their own age, not on young children."
The Bible according to WTB&TS
Professional counselors have trouble helping JWs deal with sexual problems, because to them, all sexual behavior is determined by biblical interpretation. There is no room for understanding, forgiveness, medical science or alternative viewpoints.
JWs hold the Bible before them like a shield. The Bible they use is the WTB&TS' own translation, which it publishes as the New World Translation.
According to Edmond Gruss, who wrote Apostles of Denial, Watchtower representatives claimed that when New World Translation was released in the 1950s, it had been translated and approved by competent scholars.
In the foreword, the translators wrote, "Religious traditions, hoary with age, have been taken for granted and gone unchallenged and uninvestigated. These have been interwoven into the translations to color the thought."
In his book, Gruss countered, "With the arrogant statement, the Watchtower committee waves aside hundreds of the greatest linguists of all time and substitutes the Committee of Seven ... a committee composed of unknowns who hold little in the way of degrees or scholarly recognition."
In his definitive study, In Search of Christian Freedom, Raymond Franz, a former member of the Governing Body, points out the convenience of creative Bible translation.
"Who really is the faithful and discreet slave whom his Master appointed over his domestics, to give them their food at the proper time? Happy is that slave if his master on arriving finds him doing so. Truly I say to you, he will appoint him over all his belongings."--Matt: 24:45-47, New World Translation.
"In their calls for loyalty and submission, no other portion of Scripture is so frequently appealed to by the Governing Body of Jehovah's Witnesses ... it is employed primarily to support the concept of a centralized administrative authority," Franz writes.
"There is not the slightest question that in the minds of Jehovah's Witnesses ... the "food at the due time" provided by the "slave" is the information supplied by the Brooklyn-centered Watch Tower Organization," Franz says.
Follow or perish
The Jehovah's Witnesses' hold on members is so tight, most find it difficult to leave the sect. Some escape intact. Others, unable to cope with the dichotomy of JW beliefs and the real world, opt for suicide.
In April 1997, Air Force Capt. Craig Button, on an Arizona training flight, broke formation from his unit, flew to Colorado, and crashed his plane into the side of a mountain.
The story made national headlines. People speculated about reasons for what happened. One newspaper report suggested Button committed suicide over a gay love affair with another officer.
In a Dec. 25 New York Times article, James Brooke wrote, "The pilot's parents ... angrily reject the conclusion that he committed suicide." Brooke revealed that Button "raised as the only child of elderly parents, broke as a teenager with the faith of his parents, who are Jehovah's Witnesses."
"My mother is a Jehovah's Witness, raised me to think that joining the military is wrong," Button once wrote.
The Air Force claims Button committed suicide over unrequited love for a woman. "It was a dramatic example of a man who seems to have everything going for him in his life, yet cannot have the woman he loves passionately," the official report concludes.
At the time of the original investigation, however, the woman in question denied she and Button were ever more than friends.
Even more damning is the story of Kelly Blake, a Phoenix woman who poured gasoline over herself and her three children, then set the family ablaze in March 1998.
TV reporters said the woman had become very religious and that she was obsessed with the "sinfulness" of herself and the children she had out of wedlock.
The woman's daughter died at the scene of the fire. The rest of the family was rushed to the hospital. The mother and one son were in critical condition.
A neighborhood boy told Arizona Republic reporters that Blake refused to allow her children attend school for "religious reasons." He said the family was Jehovah's Witnesses, the Republic reported.
Jim Moon, webmaster of Internet support group site A Common Bond, flew in from San Francisco to share his story. Also at that initial meeting was Mark Miller.
Later, five more Phoenix-area residents participated in a round-table discussion of their experiences. We interviewed other gay former JWs from all parts of the country, via telephone and e-mail.
Those contributing to this final segment are male and female, in their early 20s to late 50s. They are white, Hispanic, and African-American. Some were born into the Jehovah's Witnesses; some joined later in life.
All share a common experience. They were rejected by their religion, and often by their families, because they are gay.
So different and yet so alike
Moon left his birth religion "because of its condemnation of gays." While a teenager, he met some Jehovah's Witnesses who persuaded him to sit in on weekly Bible studies. "The elder was a master salesman, and he knew all the right things to say and the right scriptures to read," Moon said.
"Armageddon was right around the corner." It was supposed to occur in September 1975, the elder said. That religious man counseled Moon "that in order to guarantee my immortality, all I had to do was to 'stop being gay' for a few months, and after I survived Armageddon, I would be 'perfect.' So my sexuality wouldn't matter any more. I was sold!"
When Armageddon didn't happen, Moon struggled for the next few years to be a good JW and suppress his same-sex desires. Inevitably, Moon met a man and began spending time with his new "best friend."
"In order for the JWs not to accuse him of being a 'bad association,' I started a Bible study with him. ... One night, both of us had too much beer and we found ourselves in bed," Moon said. "I woke up the next morning in absolute terror."
As the religion dictates, Moon confessed his sin to the elders. Because he was "repentant," he was given a "Private Reproof." It turned out not to be so private.
"Word spread through the congregation like wildfire, and I was treated like a leper," Moon said.
Moon tried for several more years to get things right, but finally he was disfellowshipped. "I was told Jehovah no longer loved me," Moon said.
Miller was raised a Jehovah's Witness. When he became aware of his sexuality, he tried to keep it a secret to protect his family. He knew practicing gays were disfellowshipped. That means family members can not associate with the banned member.
But congregations deliberately are kept small, Miller explained, so that members can watch one another. Once sexual indiscretion is suspected, the suspect often is followed or spied upon, he alleged.
Miller moved to another town to escape watchful eyes. He claimed the church's elders "stalked" him.
"I had to say, if you don't stay away from me, I will slap a restraining order against you," Miller said. That legal maneuver worked for about two years. But eventually, everyone from his former life knew about Miller's homosexuality. The elders had to do something.
The worst part of being disfellowshipped was, "I bought into that I had really done something wrong ... that God had turned his back on me," Miller said.
He admitted that at the time he didn't know what to expect from his family and friends. He said JWs treat disfellowshipped members with anything from "you don't even look at them" to "well, it's family, you be courteous."
Miller said his mother wasn't exactly courteous. He got "scathing" letters from her. When she learned he had his ear pierced, she "went through the whole thing about what homosexuals did and I was filthy."
Miller said his mother believed the earring was to advertise that he wanted to have anal sex with men at any given time. Miller reacted to her suggestion with, "Really? Well, it hasn't worked yet!"
Miller said the JWs "are palming themselves off as being loving, gracious people ... and look at the hate they teach."
He and his mother have reunited and made their peace--but not until after years of suffering for each.
Five more people--five similar stories
The five panel members shared the impact revealing their sexual orientation had on them and their families.
Silvana S. grew up in Spanish-speaking JW congregations. She said they have a different attitude about sexual matters.
"You didn't talk about stuff like that," Silvana said.
When she began attending English-speaking congregations, Silvana discovered gays are considered "okay as long as you are not 'practicing.'" She said English-speaking congregations are obsessed with homosexuality.
Silvana laughs a little about her "coming out." She was married and lived far from home. She said she realized she is a lesbian when she bought a pair of cowboy boots. "My husband said I looked like a dyke. I knew what I was doing was a lie. I had a moment of clarity with those boots!"
Silvana kissed her hubby goodbye and found herself some lesbian friends. "They became my family."
When Shanon A. was "maybe 17," his mother figured out he is gay. "She told me to go talk to a [JW] brother. She said it would be confidential."
Within days, "everyone knew. I was asked to leave people's homes and functions. Typical shunning." He was held up to ridicule in front of his congregation when an elder warned, "There is a homosexual wolf coming in to get our children."
Shanon ran away. As a teenager living on the streets, he said he was asked to testify in a court cases against his former religion regarding his opinion regarding JW children running away from their family and church situation.
Melissa R., whose father is a JW elder, said as she grew up, she attended three Kingdom Hall meetings a week. There she heard that homosexuality is "not just a sin, but a gross sin."
It was difficult to hear about lesbians "being the laughingstock of the congregation," Melissa said.
When she couldn't stand it any longer, "I just walked away." She has been free of the JWs for the shortest period of time of all the panel members. She can't get through her story without crying. Melissa misses her family greatly, but worries if she contacts them, they will be disfellowshipped.
"And my brother won't even talk to me," she added tearfully.
Everett I. also confessed his first gay experience to a JW "brother," who immediately told the elders.
"The emotional scars are still there," Everett says of the resultant furor. Everett loved his religion deeply. "I wanted to stay."
The psychological stress of following the church's dictates and to suppress his homosexuality eventually caused him to be hospitalized. When he finally was disfellowshipped, "My mom kicked me out. She said, 'we aren't supposed to talk to you.'"
Scott M, chastised as a child "not to act like that or people will think you are queer," knew he had no choice about who he was or how he acted. So rather than suffer the indignity of being found out and then disfellowshipped, Scott refused to be baptized into the sect and left at age 18.
He recalled how he had been mocked, shunned and even sexually abused by the people who were supposed to love and care for him. "How can this be God's organization?" he asked.
And more mail
We heard from others.
Austen M, in San Diego, said that six months into marriage he realized he is gay but didn't want to tell his wife. But it wasn't long before she and his congregation suspected. His wife and elders followed him.
"It was like a witch hunt," he said. "Like the CIA looking over my shoulder."
Austen wanted a separation from his wife and to leave the religion, but he didn't want to be disfellowshipped because of his relatives. Instead, he avoided meetings and his pioneer duties, in order to be declared "inactive."
But the elders "were not going to let that happen," he said. They "stalked" him until "they broke me down. I was almost suicidal. I lost 35 pounds."
The sect's persistence paid off. JW elders caught Austen in the act, so to speak, and he was disfellowshipped. Sure enough, when this happened, he was cut off from his family.
The thing Austen remembers most about growing up a JW is not having a normal childhood. He said children of JWs do not celebrate birthdays, Christmas or other holidays. Because of this, JW children often are teased and taunted in school.
We still are receiving stories from gay former Jehovah's Witnesses explaining the reason for their anger and pain and why they tried so hard not to be found out.
Shanon summed it up. "It's your family's duty to excommunicate you. Well, I could do without the religion. It was my family I wanted to keep."
Those who beg to disagree
But there are those who disagree with how the panel characterized their life as JWs.
Gary e-mailed his response.
"I am a very gay, very ex-Jehovah's Witness. I am a very active member of the Mid-Atlantic Chapter of 'A Common Bond,'" he wrote.
He said the original article (Echo No. 242) contained glaring "bogus statements and misrepresentations."
Gary wrote, "I am not here to defend Jehovah's Witnesses. However, it is a great disservice to our support group (A Common Bond) when such clearly twisted and false information is represented in the media, especially by bitter former members (and most of us are not bitter)."
Gary said he is saddened to think a gay/lesbian JW who has seen the stories may not seek out help from A Common Bond.
On the other hand, in his last sentence Gary recognized how tough it is to be a gay JW, when he concluded: "Your article will unfortunately force many tormented individuals to stay silent and continue in their torment!"
Another e-mail response came from Don S., who said that in his experience, Jehovah's Witnesses taught that God gave us a freedom of choice.
"They understand that there are many viewpoints on religious belief," Don wrote. "Jehovah's Witnesses try to give a different and, in their view, 'true' viewpoint. It is up to the individual to decide."
Don acknowledged that he was worried that he would be discovered as gay, but asked, "Isn't that what someone does when they are doing something their belief denies?"
At the same time, because his father accepted his sexual orientation with love, Don said he never felt that he was "marked as a sinner."
Don left the religion "for my own reasons" several years ago, but wrote, "I still believe many of the things that the Witnesses teach. I have just chosen another path."
_________________________________
1. "Members" denotes Jehovah's Witnesses in good standing. There are far more people involved in, and contributing to, the religion who are not recognized nor counted as members.
*Each JW branch has its own Bethel: London Bethel, Toronto Bethel, etc. For the purpose of this article, unless otherwise noted, Bethel will refer to Brooklyn Bethel, the international seat of the Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society.
See Part Two
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Air Force examines personal relationships of pilot who killed himself
Associated Press/November 18, 1998
By Patrick Graham
PHOENIX -- The father of an Air Force pilot who flew his jet into a Colorado mountain denounced speculation Wednesday that his son struggled with his sexual identity before killing himself.
A report by the Air Force Office of Special Investigations, obtained by the Tucson Citizen, examines in part the sexuality of Capt. Craig Button and chronicles interviews with his closest friends, most of them women. The psychological autopsy report also looks at Button's spiritual mindset.
The report seeks to shed some light on Button's personal life -- which was questioned in a newspaper report late last year. The Citizen had reported that the military was investigating the possibility Button may have been homosexual and distraught he could be expelled from the military.
"My wife and I made a pact following our son's death that we would never talk to the media," retired Air Force Lt. Col. Richard Button said in a telephone interview from his Long Island, N.Y. home.
But before ending the phone call, Button interjected: "They are printing lies and speculation."
The Air Force report, however, never offers a definitive answer as to why the 32-year-old Button took his life. The Citizen on Wednesday published parts of the report.
"We conducted about 200 interviews during the investigation," said Maj. Steve Murray, spokesman for the Office of Special Investigations. "No credible evidence to support theories of homosexuality, financial difficulties, family conflicts, militia ties or any other possible motivation has been discovered."
Murray said there are no plans to reopen the investigation. "(The Air Force) thoroughly explored all potentially relevant areas of Captain Button's life in an effort to better understand the circumstances which may have contributed to this event," he added.
Button's A-10 attack jet, which carried four 500-pound bombs from Davis- Monthan Air Force Base in Tucson, broke formation during a training mission with two other planes April 2, 1997. For three hours he flew an erratic 500-mile course that ended when he crashed into the 13,000-foot Gold Dust Peak near Eagle, Colo.
The report notes a phone call the night before Button's exercise with live bombs on the Barry M. Goldwater Bombing Ranger near Gila Bend. The April 1 call appeared to have upset Button, who refused to discuss it with his roommate, the newspaper said.
"Something about the last few days and troubling telephone calls was enormously upsetting to him," the report said. "We may never know why he was in such much turmoil or with whom he talked."
The report makes reference to homosexual allegations and a newspaper story about a call from a man who claimed to be Button's gay lover. The call had been made just days before Button's disappearance.
The report also focuses on Button's reputed unrequited love with a woman in the Air Force he met as an ROTC cadet at the New York Institute of Technology, where he graduated in 1990, the newspaper said.
Though Button and the woman were stationed at different Air Force bases, the two kept in contact through letters in the months after a 1991 ski trip, the report said.
But the woman said she never considered having a monogamous relationship with Button.
Button called the woman the afternoon before his final flight, but she had to cut the conversation short because she was at work, the report said.
The final area the report looks into is Button's religious beliefs and possible conflicts with his job as a fighter pilot. His mother is a devout Jehovah's Witness opposed to killing, the newspaper said.
His parents were in Tucson days before his death. They told investigators they had talked with their son about the end of the world. Button then asked for more information on the subject.
Investigators found in Button's bed-stand the Bible and a religious pamphlet, which described "God asking a father to sacrifice his only son on a burning pyre at the side of a mountain," the report said.
"Capt. Craig Button intended to die or be rescued by divine intervention of God at the last possible moment," the report said. "Did that struggle to free himself of his mother's religious beliefs collapse at the moment of truth? Here he was -- the next step in the mission was to become a full- fledged 'bomb-dropping people killer.' Until now, flying was an art, not a killing science."
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Mother Seeks Help to Get Girl Back, Accusation of Brain-Washing Leveled
Watertown Daily Times (NY)/March 19, 1991
By Andy Leahy
GOUVERNEUR - Sixteen-year-old Ginger S. Griggs of Edwards went to church as usual Sunday morning but decided against returning home afterward, sending a friend and an escort from the St. Lawrence County Sheriff's Department to gather some of her belongings that afternoon.
Her mother, Gail S. Griggs, is afraid she'll never see or talk to her daughter again.
Separating mother and daughter is a state law allowing youths to choose to live on their own at age 16; the Gouverneur congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses; and the girl's fiance, Mark Y. Thomas of Edwards, a 22-year-old fellow church member.
Gail Griggs and her mother-in-law, Marjorie Bevins - who both recently "disassociated" themselves from the Jehovah's Witnesses - charge that the religious group is a cult exercising mind control over Ginger Griggs and its four million members worldwide.
'Mind Control'
"My kid is having her mind controlled, and because she's 16 I can't do a thing about it," Gail Griggs said. "She isn't acting on her own reasoning. She's doing what they tell her because she loves Mark."
An elder with the Gouverneur congregation, Bernard E. Sloan of Edwards, said Mrs. Griggs' charges of church control over her daughter are not true. "It's a sad situation."
Mr. Sloan said. "The girl is making her own choices and there has been no direction from the body of elders.
It's not a religious decision. It's from the legal authorities that she's getting her direction from."
"There have been accusations of brain-washing, but all the Jehovah's Witnesses do is rigid study of the Scriptures," Mr. Sloan said. "There is no such thing as mind control."
The family's relationship with the Gouverneur congregation, whose place of worship, Kingdom Hall, is on Route 58 in Hailesboro, began about three years ago, shortly after Gail and Garry S. Griggs separated and she moved to Edwards and she moved to Edwards with her three daughters from New Jersey.
Psychologically Weak
Her moth-in-law, Mrs. Bevins, and some other members of her extended family were involved with the group, and Gail Griggs and she was at the time physically and psychologically weak from a drug addiction, ill health and her separation.
After a lengthy period of study, she joined Ginger and another daughter as initiated members last May, but she was skeptical and bothered from the beginning by what she considered to be inconsistencies in the group's teachings.
Smoking by members, for instance, is forbidden, she said. Yet she was a closet smoker when elders baptized her "as told to do so by Jehovah, but Jehovah knows all things. That's God."
The rift between mother and daughter opened on March 6, Mrs. Griggs said, in the middle of cleanup from the north country's ice storm, when Mrs. Griggs formally quit the church in response to her doubts and pressure from congregation members to give consent to her daughter's marriage, a legal requirement in New York state for those under 18.
Engaged Three Months
Ginger Griggs and Mr. Thomas had been engaged for three months, and members said the book of the Watch Tower, Bible and Tract Society - as the Brooklyn based Jehovah's Witnesses organization is formally known - suggested a three-to-six month engagement, Mrs. Griggs said.
On March 6, shortly after she had a letter delivered to an elder announcing her own "disassociation" from the church, Mrs. Bevins and her three Griggs granddaughters prepared to travel to Bayville, N.J., to visit Garry Griggs and other relatives.
Hearing of the trip, Mr. Thomas arrived with his cousin, blocked the car in the driveway, and demanded to talk to his fiance, according to Mrs. Griggs.
"If you come back from New Jersey and you're not a Jehovah's Witness, I want my ring back.' that's what he said to her," Mrs. Griggs said.
The confrontation in the driveway was also carried out along Route 58 toward Gouverneur, according to Mrs. Bevins, who said Mr. Thomas and his cousin drove alongside and in front of her vehicle, succeeding in stopping the car near the hamlet of Fowler.
Mr. Thomas was ultimately allowed to accompany the group to New Jersey, Mrs. Bevins said, adding that was the only way she could convince him the five-day trip was not designed to permanently separate the two.
Asked the Father
In New Jersey, Mrs. Bevins said, Ginger Griggs and Mr. Thomas won a private audience with Garry Griggs and asked him to authorize his daughter's marriage. After considering it overnight, however, he refused, she said.
Since Sunday, Mrs. Griggs and family members have been appealing for help from groups run by former Jehovah's Witnesses, experts on cults, and St. Lawrence County legal and social-service agencies.
Church teachings call for total social ostracism of "dissociated" or "disfellowshipped" members, Gail Griggs said, adding the rule is even enforced within families.
"I am dead in their eyes because I've turned my back on God," she said.
Mrs. Bevins said she had a conversation with her granddaughter from the doorstep outside the Fowler home of Jehovah's Witness Lorraine W. Taylor, where Ginger Griggs said she left home because her "spirituality was being weakened," according to Mrs. Bevins.
Reached Monday night, Mr. Taylor said he was "trying to stay clear of everything so I'm not accused of anything," but he declined to respond to the Griggs family's charges
Ginger Griggs and Ms. Taylor could not be reached for comment.
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Mother Seeks Help to Get Girl Back, Accusation of Brain-Washing Leveled
Watertown Daily Times (NY)/March 19, 1991
By Andy Leahy
GOUVERNEUR - Sixteen-year-old Ginger S. Griggs of Edwards went to church as usual Sunday morning but decided against returning home afterward, sending a friend and an escort from the St. Lawrence County Sheriff's Department to gather some of her belongings that afternoon.
Her mother, Gail S. Griggs, is afraid she'll never see or talk to her daughter again.
Separating mother and daughter is a state law allowing youths to choose to live on their own at age 16; the Gouverneur congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses; and the girl's fiance, Mark Y. Thomas of Edwards, a 22-year-old fellow church member.
Gail Griggs and her mother-in-law, Marjorie Bevins - who both recently "disassociated" themselves from the Jehovah's Witnesses - charge that the religious group is a cult exercising mind control over Ginger Griggs and its four million members worldwide.
'Mind Control'
"My kid is having her mind controlled, and because she's 16 I can't do a thing about it," Gail Griggs said. "She isn't acting on her own reasoning. She's doing what they tell her because she loves Mark."
An elder with the Gouverneur congregation, Bernard E. Sloan of Edwards, said Mrs. Griggs' charges of church control over her daughter are not true. "It's a sad situation."
Mr. Sloan said. "The girl is making her own choices and there has been no direction from the body of elders.
It's not a religious decision. It's from the legal authorities that she's getting her direction from."
"There have been accusations of brain-washing, but all the Jehovah's Witnesses do is rigid study of the Scriptures," Mr. Sloan said. "There is no such thing as mind control."
The family's relationship with the Gouverneur congregation, whose place of worship, Kingdom Hall, is on Route 58 in Hailesboro, began about three years ago, shortly after Gail and Garry S. Griggs separated and she moved to Edwards and she moved to Edwards with her three daughters from New Jersey.
Psychologically Weak
Her moth-in-law, Mrs. Bevins, and some other members of her extended family were involved with the group, and Gail Griggs and she was at the time physically and psychologically weak from a drug addiction, ill health and her separation.
After a lengthy period of study, she joined Ginger and another daughter as initiated members last May, but she was skeptical and bothered from the beginning by what she considered to be inconsistencies in the group's teachings.
Smoking by members, for instance, is forbidden, she said. Yet she was a closet smoker when elders baptized her "as told to do so by Jehovah, but Jehovah knows all things. That's God."
The rift between mother and daughter opened on March 6, Mrs. Griggs said, in the middle of cleanup from the north country's ice storm, when Mrs. Griggs formally quit the church in response to her doubts and pressure from congregation members to give consent to her daughter's marriage, a legal requirement in New York state for those under 18.
Engaged Three Months
Ginger Griggs and Mr. Thomas had been engaged for three months, and members said the book of the Watch Tower, Bible and Tract Society - as the Brooklyn based Jehovah's Witnesses organization is formally known - suggested a three-to-six month engagement, Mrs. Griggs said.
On March 6, shortly after she had a letter delivered to an elder announcing her own "disassociation" from the church, Mrs. Bevins and her three Griggs granddaughters prepared to travel to Bayville, N.J., to visit Garry Griggs and other relatives.
Hearing of the trip, Mr. Thomas arrived with his cousin, blocked the car in the driveway, and demanded to talk to his fiance, according to Mrs. Griggs.
"If you come back from New Jersey and you're not a Jehovah's Witness, I want my ring back.' that's what he said to her," Mrs. Griggs said.
The confrontation in the driveway was also carried out along Route 58 toward Gouverneur, according to Mrs. Bevins, who said Mr. Thomas and his cousin drove alongside and in front of her vehicle, succeeding in stopping the car near the hamlet of Fowler.
Mr. Thomas was ultimately allowed to accompany the group to New Jersey, Mrs. Bevins said, adding that was the only way she could convince him the five-day trip was not designed to permanently separate the two.
Asked the Father
In New Jersey, Mrs. Bevins said, Ginger Griggs and Mr. Thomas won a private audience with Garry Griggs and asked him to authorize his daughter's marriage. After considering it overnight, however, he refused, she said.
Since Sunday, Mrs. Griggs and family members have been appealing for help from groups run by former Jehovah's Witnesses, experts on cults, and St. Lawrence County legal and social-service agencies.
Church teachings call for total social ostracism of "dissociated" or "disfellowshipped" members, Gail Griggs said, adding the rule is even enforced within families.
"I am dead in their eyes because I've turned my back on God," she said.
Mrs. Bevins said she had a conversation with her granddaughter from the doorstep outside the Fowler home of Jehovah's Witness Lorraine W. Taylor, where Ginger Griggs said she left home because her "spirituality was being weakened," according to Mrs. Bevins.
Reached Monday night, Mr. Taylor said he was "trying to stay clear of everything so I'm not accused of anything," but he declined to respond to the Griggs family's charges
Ginger Griggs and Ms. Taylor could not be reached for comment.
To see more documents/articles regarding this group/organization/subject click here.
Abusive Controlling Relationships
Home Archive Cult News Search Getting Help Forum Mind Control Links
Contact Us About Us What's New Headlines Site Guide Books Help Us FAQ
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