Falling into Truth online book by atheistic ex-JW Steve McRoberts Part 1

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Falling in Truth 
You are reading Falling In Truth by Steve McRoberts 
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Chapter 1: Baptism of Fire
Mary Evanston was worried. It wasn’t obvious to the casual observer, but anyone who knew her could tell it in little ways. Like the way she was quickly and half-heartedly washing the breakfast plates with lunch already frying on the stove. And how she kept staring into the soapsuds and repeating fragments of prayers.
Spring had arrived, accompanied as usual by the hectic sound of the banging screen door. To Mary this was a comforting sound because it was the sound of her children funneling into and out of the house, often with squeals of delight. But she knew that Ted, her eldest, wouldn’t be the cause of this sound anymore; he was no longer acting like one of her children; he had been detoured from life’s little pleasures.
"Hi, Mrs. Evanston. Is Ted home?" Mary jumped; it wasn't one of her children who had burst in on her reverie and was now adding fingerprints to the besmirched woodwork, it was Ted’s friend Paul Huberman standing in the kitchen doorway, smiling in a good-natured way.
"Yes, he's home. But you wouldn't know it; locked up there in his room with his crazy books." She smiled back at him. It was good to have a handsome young man looking at her the way he did; it was delicious without being in the least dangerous since he was so young. It merely brightened her long morning. She fully suspected that she was fonder of the boy than Ted was, especially lately.
"He'll be down when I call him for lunch in just a minute. Why don't you stay and eat with us, Paul? We're having pork-chops, mashed potatoes and gravy, and Jello for desert." She tried to say all this without sounding like a mother.
"What flavor's the Jello?" he asked in a teasing way.
She laughed and called out, "Jason, turn off the TV and go call your brother for lunch!"
By the time Ted entered the kitchen, his brother Jason had already finished a long summary of cartoon plots he and his other two brothers and one sister had lived through that morning. "We've been waiting five minutes for you," his mother scolded, although they had all actually begun eating before his arrival.
"Hello Paul," Ted said, ignoring her.
"Hey man, how're you doin'?" was Paul's not unexpected response.
Ted sat down without a further word and began to sheepishly look at the faces surrounding him. Their eyes seemed to be scrutinizing his every movement and he couldn't do what he had to do until they stopped. Fortunately, Juanita, his little sister, began fighting with Jason over some trifle, and that caught all eyes away. In a flash Ted's head was bowed, his eyes closed, and his hands clasped together so tightly against the edge of the table that his black knuckles turned yellow.
"Oh Lordy! What have we here?" his mother exclaimed after calming down Juanita. "Looks like Teddy's come to pray instead of eat. Well, then, we might as well divide his food up amongst ourselves; no sense in it going to waste, 'specially since it's all blest and everything now." She took Ted's plate and passed a pork-chop to Paul.
"Here, Paul, you're a growing boy, take Teddy's pork-chop. I know you appreciate my cooking."
Paul looked at the new addition to his plate and hesitated; he didn't want to come between his friend and his friend's mother like this.
"I get his Jello!"
"Dibs on his Jello!"
"I asked first!" Jason yelled.
"Mom! Jason says he gets the Jello all the time!" Patrick was complaining, as if his mother had somehow missed Jason's triumphal cries.
"Mom, don't give it to Jason all the time!" Juanita pleaded, her voice sounding on the verge of tears (as it was at least a dozen times a day).
Ted opened his eyes and raised his head. Pulling his chair in closer to the table he looked at his mother and calmly said, "I've finished thanking Jehovah for our food, mother, and now I would like to have it." His great self-control seemed to shout out loud that he had won a great silent victory, but looking about him he noticed that none of them realized it.
"Well, look who's come back to the land of the living!" his mother taunted.
"Everyone, I have an announcement to make," she paused for dramatic effect, "Ted told me today that he's going to get baptized as a Jehovah's Witness this summer." She smiled mockingly at him as she left her words hanging in the air, just waiting for the others to catch on to their meaning. Ted looked at her in infinite sadness; she had betrayed his private trust. What he had told her in private--what meant so much to him--she had opened up to public ridicule unmercifully. It was as if she had unbandaged a wound and shown them where to pour the salt.
Jason was the quickest; "Teddy's gonna be a book salesman. But only crazy people buy crazy books."
Mary nodded her approval, especially since Jason had picked up on her description of them as "crazy books."
"Hey, man, you don't wanna go and do that," Paul said, "that's a white man's religion. You're gonna be goin' around selling books for the man? Oh no, man, that's too much. What's got into you anyway? You better start comin' back to church with us or the whole neighborhood's gonna be on your tail; we don't like Jehovahs around here, no sir."
"Mommy, is Teddy gonna go to hell?" Patrick asked.
"Yes, darling, unless we stop him from doing this bad thing." Mary patted Patrick's head as she told him this with a serious expression.
"Why do you lie to them like that?" Ted asked, the self-control leaving him. "Didn't I explain to you that there is no hell? Didn't I prove it to you in black and white?"
Mary retorted, "'And whosoever shall say Thou Fool will be in danger of HELL fire.' And the Devil that deceived them was cast into the lake of fire and brimstone and shall be tormented day and night forever and ever.' There's your hell, young man."
Juanita began to whimper; hell was a scary place.
"And do you know what else?" Mary began in the same tone she used in her first announcement, "He says that God's gonna kill all of us if we're not baptized Jehovah's Witnesses too!"
Juanita began wailing her loudest fingernail-across-the-blackboard screech. They all seemed impervious to it with the exception of Paul who visibly winced.
"Teddy's goin' to hell 'cause he don't go to church," Patrick began chanting.
Paul, who had decided to eat the pork-chop, was quickly heated to the boiling point. Half enraged by Mary's words, and half by Juanita's wail, he only needed Patrick's war-like chant to set him off. "Man, you better get your act together. What do you mean talking about us that way? This here's your family and I'm your best friend. You know what they call a man who turns on those closest to him? A traitor, a Judas!"
Then, as if forgetting that such an application works both ways, Paul concluded with the ultimatum, "You become a Jehovah and you're no friend of mine!"
As Paul tore into the meat with his teeth, seemingly to emphasize his seriousness, Mary took one last stab, "No one likes those fanatics. They're self-righteous doomsayers trying to sell their religion to good Christians--"
"Benjamin still likes me," Ted interrupted, turning to his baby brother who had been observing the entire scene in the strictest silence, "you don't think I'm bad, do you Ben?"
Ben, who wasn't old enough to give a verbal response, but nonetheless seemed to sit in judgment over the whole procedure from his lofty highchair, appeared to contemplate the question for a moment, and then, looking directly at Ted, belched loudly.
Gales of laughter swept the room, and no one laughed louder than Ted. Even Juanita stopped crying and started laughing instantaneously.
Ben looked about the room in wide-eyed wonder and gave half a giggle as his contribution.
When all had sufficiently composed themselves, it was evident that the torrent of laughter had effectively put out the fires of persecution for the moment. The children, having finished their desert, went out to play, and the atmosphere in the room immediately mellowed. Mary deftly swooped Ben out of his chair and carried him off to her bedroom, leaving Paul and Ted alone amidst the rubble of the meal.
"Wanna go check out the chicks at the beach?" Paul asked hopefully.
"Is that all you ever think of?" Ted asked, annoyed.
But Paul didn't answer; the answer was too obvious: "that's all any man thinks of," his silence seemed to say, and he kept up his hopeful look.
"No," Ted explained, "I'm going out in service at one o'clock."
"You mean you're gonna go door-to-door selling magazines on a day like this?"
"That's what I mean."
"Why?"
"Because God commands us to do so in the Bible."
"All right, I'm going with you!"
Ted was taken aback. "What?" he asked in disbelief.
"If you'd rather go 'round bangin' the Bible on a beautiful day like this than go check out the chicks, then there must be something that's a lot of fun out there. I suppose you get into a lot of fine lookin' momma's houses like a travelin' salesman, and I want a piece of the action."
"It's not like that at all," Ted responded bitterly, "there's always two of us that go to each door so there’s no hint of impropriety. Besides, if we see a woman starting to come-on to us we're supposed to run out of the house."
Paul was going to laugh heartily. He opened his mouth and held his sides, and just at that point he stopped, startled by the realization that Ted meant it. There could not have been more shock in Paul's voice when he said, "I don't believe it," than if Ted had told him that the Witnesses were secretly cannibals in search of the plumpest householders.
"You'd believe it if you ever came to a meeting and saw what kind of people we got there," Ted said matter-of-factly.
"I'm goin' with you right now door-to-door," Paul insisted.
"I'm sorry, but you can't," Ted said smugly, not feeling sorry in the least, "you have to pass a test first proving that you're worthy and that you believe in what we teach from the Bible."
"Who's gonna stop me?"
It was evident that nothing short of a wet T-shirt contest could stop Paul now. Ted could only hope that the friends at the service meeting would somehow dissuade Paul.
As the Kingdom Hall was too far to walk to, Ted always went to the service meeting at the Johnson's house. This was a walk of only five short blocks, and only one question passed between them on the way; Paul asked Ted if there were any attractive girls that went door to door with him. Ted answered that there were. "But they're white," he added a short time later, in order to lessen the sweetness of Paul's expectations.
"I don't care," Paul said.
A short time afterwards Paul tried again with, "And most of them are married."
They were within a block of their destination when Ted hit upon a desperate idea. Paul didn't know where the meeting was, so all Ted had to do was lead him around for another few minutes and they'd miss the meeting. He was just about to veer off from the right street when he heard his name called. Looking around he saw Bob Morrow smiling at him from inside his car.
"You going out in service?" Bob asked.
"Yeah, we're meeting at the Johnson's," Ted replied.
"Well so am I. Hop in and I'll give you a lift."
Ted started to refuse the offer, saying "It's only a block--" but Paul was already opening the door and climbing in the back seat, so Ted got in the front.
Bob reached his hand back to Paul and introduced himself. "I'm Bob Morrow. Are you studying with Ted, or are you visiting us from another congregation?"
Paul shook Bob's hand in the strange fashion in which each hand actually grabs only the other's thumb, and lied, "I'm studying with Ted here. We're old friends from way back. Ted here's my main man, and when he gets something good he shares it with me."
"Well that's just fine, " Bob smiled, "you just keep it up. There's no place like Jehovah's organization. We have a lot of black brothers all over the world, you know. There's absolutely no prejudice in Jehovah's organization. But Ted here's the first black brother in our congregation."
"What about brother George Butler?" Ted asked in surprise.
Bob laughed, "Oh yeah! I forgot about him. No, I don't mean I forgot about him, I mean I forgot he was black." With smiling eyes he glanced in the rear-view mirror at Paul and concluded, "you see what I mean; we don't even notice when a brother's black."
"That's cool," Paul responded disinterestedly.
"How old are you, Paul?"
"Sixteen and a half."
"And you're what now, Ted, nineteen?"
"No. Everyone always thinks I'm so old. I'm just going to be seventeen next month."
Bob parked the car and they walked towards a white stucco duplex.
"Still in school, then, Paul?" asked Bob, who had a salesman’s irritating habit of overusing a person's first name in order to sound friendly at a first meeting.
"No, I did the same thing Ted here did." Paul kept referring to Ted as "here' since he was needing him as a support more and more. He was fast losing his initial spunk, and now he needed to continually point to Ted as his reason for being there. This would have been a comfort to Ted who was a bundle of nerves expecting Paul to do or say something wrong at any moment; unfortunately he didn't pick up on it.
"A couple of no-good dropouts, huh?" Bob laughed again and patted the two on their backs, leaving his arms around them both, and ushering them up to the house almost as if he were carrying home bags of groceries.
As he knocked on the inside door he winked at Paul and said, "That's all right boys, all Jehovah’s people are dropouts from the world in one way or another."
A faint female voice was heard to say, "Come in". Bob opened the door, and after letting the other two in ahead of him, he called out in his most boisterous voice, which cut through all the fainter-voiced helloes, with the stupidest of all ice-breakers: "Isn't that right, Vonnie?"
"Isn't what right?" Vonnie Johnson dutifully asked in her soft voice.
"Isn't that right, Phyllis?" Bob asked without missing a beat.
"Isn't what right?" Phyllis Dorsey asked, rolling her eyes to indicate that this was not an altogether new tactic of Bob Morrow's.
"That we're all dropouts from the 'world's broad field of battle'!" Bob answered them both, while showing off his knowledge of Longfellow.
"Yes, that's true," Vonnie agreed. Then she stood up and held out her hand to Paul. "Hi, I'm Vonnie Johnson, and this is Phyllis Dorsey, and what is your name brother?"
Paul, who had lost all his impetuousness by now, somewhat meekly shook her hand in the conventional manner and simply told her his name.
"Are you studying with Ted?" Phyllis, who had remained seated, asked.
"Well, uh, yeah, I guess--we just started."
"That's nice,' Phyllis beamed.
"Well, let's sit down and get this show on the road!" Bob ordered, clapping his hands together. During the shuffling of chairs and passing around the yearbooks, Paul had time to collect himself and scrutinize his surroundings. The first thing he took in was, of course, the two women. Vonnie was tall and thin with carefully teased long brown hair and a figure that made his whole body go weak with desire. "Too bad she's married," he thought to himself, as if she would automatically fall into his arms if she were single. Next he turned his attention to Phyllis. She had long blond hair that seemed to sparkle. Her face naturally formed itself into a cheerful smile that was heartwarming. She was on the short side and rather plump, with breasts like a very fat woman might have. She was just acceptable, Paul thought, and wondered if she was married too.
As his attention was finally diverted to the room about him, he noticed the lack of any holy pictures or crosses with the exception of a small painting he could see in the kitchen of an old man praying over a loaf of bread. The carpet in the living room was threadbare in places (its color also clashed with the peeling wallpaper, but Paul didn't notice this). Directly across from the couch was a portable TV with a cardboard sign atop it on which someone had written with a runny pen:
"FINALLY, BROTHERS, WHATEVER THINGS ARE TRUE,
WHATEVER THZNGS ARE OF SERIOUS CONCERN,
WHBTEVER THINGS ARE RIGHTEOUS, LOVABLE,
CHASTE, WELL SPOKEN OF, WHATEVER VIRTUE
THERE IS AND WHATEVER PRAISEWORTHY THING
THERE IS, CONTINUE CONSIDERING THESE THINGS."
(Phil, 4:8)
2 HOURS A DAY LIMIT!
Paul was just about to ask about this sign and how it was possible to watch less than six hours of TV a day when he was brought back to the matter at hand by Bob's voice:
"Well, I don't know how you're gonna work this, sisters, but I think one of you'll have to read the text."
There seemed to be some confusion over this in everyone's mind, and in order to divert Paul's attention from this fact, Ted showed him where to turn in the Yearbook that was given him for the day's text.
Then Vonnie began to read, "The text for today is found in James 1:4 which reads, 'Let endurance have its work complete not lacking in anything.' Why do we need endurance?"
Phyllis raised her hand and Vonnie called on her. "We need endurance," she began, "because this old world is evil and Satan wants us to stay in the world, so he puts up all sorts of obstacles in our way."
"Yes," Vonnie agreed, "but if we overcome these obstacles we won't need endurance, will we?"
Ted raised his hand and after a nod from Vonnie began, "Not all obstacles can be overcome. The Watchtower comments mention such things as persecution by family and friends, misunderstanding and ridicule. We can't always change how others feel about us, and so we have to put up with it without complaint and maintain our faith."
"Yes," Vonnie said slowly, while looking tenderly at Ted, "and some of our brothers and sisters have it worse than others, such as those with opposing families, or those just coming into the Truth. We should always remember to ask Jehovah to give them an extra portion of his spirit so that they can endure. Are there any more comments or questions on the day's text?" As her eyes gave a quick once-over of the people in her living room, Bob cleared his throat as if he were about to say something, and Vonnie quickly asked Ted to read the comments from the yearbook. This accomplished, they laid their plans for the territory they would work that afternoon and what book they would try to place with householders.
They settled on a territory a few blocks away that Phyllis had signed out last Sunday. They'd "work it" with the "Truth" book. This decided, Phyllis helped Vonnie to pin a little doily in her hair.
Vonnie blushed, closed her eyes, bowed her head, and said, "Let's ask Jehovah's blessing." It was apparent that she wasn't used to praying aloud before brothers. Even Paul sensed that something was odd in the fact that Bob took no part in the meeting, especially since he had been so verbose prior to it.
Bob resumed this verbosity as soon as they had all piled into his car; "Been to any meetings yet, Paul?"
Paul, who was seated next to him, thought it a strange question; "I just been to one, man."
"Yeah, that's right," Bob chuckled, "but I mean at the hall. Have you been to a Sunday Public Talk, or a Tuesday night Ministry School?"
"No, he hasn't," Ted volunteered; the time was now or never to break the real news about Paul, "in fact I'm not so sure this is a good idea to bring him out into field service already. He hasn't really qualified according to the Organization book."
Phyllis and Vonnie, seated to the left of Ted in the back seat, looked at each other in slight alarm. Ted appeared to be overly frank in discussing his "Bible study" when he was present.
"That's all right," Bob assured, "The O.R. book says we can't stop anyone from going door-to-door. Besides, it'll be a good experience for him. As long as he has the desire to serve Jehovah in this way, we should let him."
"I'm beginning to wonder if it’s such a good idea too," Paul admitted, "Maybe I'm not ready yet for this. It's kinda scary going up to people you don't know with a religion they don't want. Don't people get mad at you?"
Ted breathed a sigh of relief. He finally realized that Paul had gradually become terrified at the entire prospect and had no more thought of doing something that would embarrass him.
"Sure they do," Bob said, "but we don't mind it. We have to endure persecution. Right Vonnie?"
"Just like our text this morning said," she agreed.
"And a very fine text it was," he smiled at her through the rear-view mirror, "handled just like a pro, too.
"Just like a brother," Ted added, trying to be complimentary but instantly realizing he had committed a faux pas.
There was an awkward moment that Bob quickly filled, "So we can look forward to seeing you at a meeting real soon then, Paul?"
"Do the women run all the meetings?" Paul asked innocently.
Ted felt sick. Just when he had relaxed, Paul came up with something wrong to say. But it wasn't his fault, he didn't even mean to do it, it was a very natural question, and Ted's previous comment was almost as bad.
"Well, brother," Bob began after a long pause, "unlike other churches, Jehovah's organization is kept clean. When a brother or sister stumbles from the Christian way," he pounded his fist against the edge of the steering wheel, then continued, "when a brother becomes dangerous to the congregation, certain privileges have to be taken from him. Isn't that right, brother Evanston?"
Ted truly wished he had not been called on in this delicate matter. But Bob's voice had become overly tense and it seemed he couldn't continue without it deteriorating into a whine. So Ted replied, "Yes, but we don't look down on a person who's been publicly reproved. The congregation is admonished to encourage the brother back to a full standing in the organization."
With this slight hint of sympathy Bob was able to resume, "You see, I can go out in service and turn in my time, but I can't answer at the meetings or lead anyone in prayer. Ted isn’t dedicated yet, so a sister had to run the show today since there were no qualified brothers."
By this time they had arrived at Phyllis' territory and split up the work among them thus: Ted and Paul were to work together, going "house over house" with Vonnie and Phyllis, as Bob worked his way back to them from four blocks down.
Ted and Paul were walking up the steps of the corner house when they heard Bob spinning his tires and kicking up sand left over from winter as he sped to his starting point four blocks away.
"Hey, man, you sure you wanna go through with this?" Paul asked.
Ted laughed, "Is this the same guy that said nothing could stop him about an hour ago?" He rapped on the aluminum door, and feeling vastly superior to Paul, said, "You don't have to say anything. I'll do the talking. Just stand there and look like you agree."
Scarcely had he said this when the door swung open. A large woman in her thirties stood glaring at them as she took a drag from her cigarette. As she was in her bathrobe and had curlers in her hair, it was obvious she was not expecting to greet anyone at the door.
"Good afternoon," Ted began, trying to sound cheerful and unfrightened, "I'm sorry if we disturbed you. My name is Ted Evanston, and this is my friend Paul Huberman. We're talking to people in your neighborhood today about current conditions in the world and how the Bible not only predicted them, but holds out the only true hope for the future."
"What're you selling?" she asked sharply.
Ted relaxed considerably. He always felt at ease as soon as he knew where the householder stood. It was clear she'd never be interested in the Truth, so it didn't matter if he made a mistake.
"Oh, we're not selling anything, ma'am. We're just trying to bring the Good News to people. But if you don't have time to talk today, I'd like to leave this little book with you--" he stooped down to reach into his satchel and bring out the "Truth" book, but as he did so he heard the aluminum door close and lock. When he looked up, there was only the mocking smile of Paul.
"You sure handled that," Paul was jeering as they walked from the house.
The sisters were already three houses down as no one had answered at their first house.
"Hey man, let me try the next one, huh?"
"Don't be absurd," Ted snorted, trying to retain the upper hand (although it was obvious that in Paul's mind he had already lost it).
Paul turned into the second house from the corner and Ted stopped him. "They just took that one, aren't you paying attention?"
"Huh?"
"We're working every other house. The sisters are getting the alternate ones.
Paul looked dumbly down the block, "How'd they get so far ahead of us?"
"Mostly because they don't stop to ask stupid questions." Ted felt himself losing control again, and quickly steadied himself verbally. "Patience, patience, he's not in the Truth; you've got to have patience," he said as though thinking to himself aloud. "The second reason is that no one was home here, so they didn't have to waste time talking to a disinterested goat like we did."
Paul ignored the goat reference; he was peering intently at the porch window of the house before him. "Hey, man, I see somebody in there. What're you sayin' nobody's home for? Let's take it."
There was indeed someone home, as Ted could now see. The woman, trying to peek from behind the drapes unseen, now realized that she'd been spotted. Feeling somewhat foolish for having hidden, she opened up the door before Paul had even reached it.
"Yes?" she said, and seeming to take fright, pulled the door closer to her again so that just her head stuck out.
"Good afternoon," Paul began, saying word for word what Ted had said at the previous door. By the time Ted had recovered his shock and moved from the sidewalk to the lady's front steps, he was just in time to take over from Paul. Taking out the little blue "Truth" book from his bag, Ted turned his back to the house and paged through it so she could see it as he pointed out the illustrations and Scriptures. At the end of his presentation he awkwardly pressed the point, "So would you like to have the book?"
She was about to say, "No," when Paul took another stab, "C'mon ma'am, you don't mean to say that there's nothing in that book you don't know? I mean, sheeat, you never saw so many Scriptures and 'illustrations' now, did yuh?" He seemed to be parodying Ted by making "illustrations" sound like a pretentious word.
There was a certain charm in his vulgarity which caused her to reconsider, "Well, all right," she said at last, "how much is it?"
Paul looked at Ted since he had no idea.
"It's just a quarter, ma'am," Ted replied, "to cover the cost of paper and printing,"
"Just a minute," she said and disappeared behind the door. When she returned, she took the book and put a handful of change in Ted's hand. "Here's some extra for your good work."
"Well, thanks for the thought," Ted said, "but we really can't accept money above the cost of printing. We're only out here to spread Jehovah's message of the coming New Order, and it wouldn't be right to take money for it." After handing all but a quarter back to the woman, Ted concluded, "I hope you have time to go over that book. I'd like to stop by again sometime and see if you have any questions or thoughts on the book, if that would be all right." He knew that this was the point where his presentation would stand or fall. There were some nice people out in the world who would just take the book to be nice but would never read it.
"No, that's all right," she said, "We've got our church we go to and they seem to pretty well answer all our questions. But I'll look the book over."
A more mature brother might have stopped here, content with making a placement rather than estranging the householder with a further argument against her church, but Ted couldn't resist so long as he had a listening ear (no matter how unwillingly it was listening). So after he had pointed out what he felt were intolerable flaws in Christendom, and how the Jehovah's Witnesses tolerated none of these flaws, he was adamantly told not to return.
The next three houses failed to "stick out their tongues" (Ted privately amused himself with the thought that these houses were faces, their front doors mouths, and the householders tongues). This gave Ted and Paul time to discuss the relative merits of the lady they'd placed a book with.
"I can't believe you placed a book," Ted admitted, "I've been doing this just about every day for two months now and I've only placed two books."
"You did it, not me," Paul said, making light of it.
"Are you kidding?" She was about to say no when you started talking. By the way, watch your mouth. Jehovah's people don't use foul language."
"What'd I say?" Paul asked.
Ted just shook his head slightly.
"C'mon, what'd I say?"
"How can I tell you what you said when I just told you that we don't say those kinds of words?"
"Well, how do I know not to say 'em unless you tell me what they are?"
"Okay, it was the word some people associate with manure."
"Oh, you mean shit?" Paul laughed, shrugging his shoulders and using the very word unconsciously again in expression, "Sheeat, shit's not even a swear word. Everybody says it. It doesn't mean nothin’."
"Then why say it?" This was a good question, as Paul had to admit to himself.
But Paul still possessed the trump card: "You blew it by not taking the money. We had her up till then. You made her feel bad by not letting her be generous."
"Yes, but we can't let them feel they can buy good will with Jehovah; they have to do more than that." It was a weak justification Ted realized.
They had reached the end of the block where the sisters were waiting for them. "We just struck out three in a row," Ted mused. Staring at Phyllis, he suggested, "Maybe we should change partners."
"That's a good idea," Vonnie quickly agreed, "people are probably afraid to open their doors when they see two black brothers."
"All right," Ted said, taking charge like a full-fledged brother. He assumed Vonnie's last remark was meant to pay him back for his previously having likened her to a brother. "I'll work with Phyllis, and Paul, you work with Sister Johnson."
"We're not on a first-name basis anymore, huh?" Vonnie pouted.
"Sorry," Ted smiled; it affected him strangely when she flirted with him like this, "Paul, you work with Vonnie."
As they all walked across the street, Phyllis volunteered the following information: "Vonnie placed a book with a real nice man, and I placed two magazines with some school-aged kids. I wonder why they weren’t in school?"
"They're all home at my house, too," Ted sighed, "Their summer vacation started early this year for some reason."
"Oh yes, I remember," Vonnie remarked, "They started school early last fall so now they finish early too. That's nice; they get to enjoy the spring."
"Speaking of placements, you'll be glad to know that Paul placed his first book." Ted said this in a calm voice which hurried towards the end like a man who has just introduced some famous movie star and runs off the stage as quickly as he can to avoid being crushed in the oncoming adulation.
"Oh, how wonderful for you!" Phyllis exclaimed, giving her number ten smile.
"Let's hope that's the first of many more," Vonnie said in a voice approaching a whisper. It wasn't yet her sexiest voice, but it was close enough to make Paul envision placing thousands of books just to hear it again.
They were about to split into two groups again, and Phyllis called out to Paul and Vonnie, "Good luck!"
Vonnie and Ted laughed at this. Phyllis looked perplexed for a moment, gave a slight gasp, and then held her hand to her mouth, bending over in laughter and embarrassment. "Forget I said that, I haven't slipped up on that in a long time."
"That's all right," Ted assured her. As they turned into the first walk he took her arm and spoke consolingly to help justify this action, "I find myself saying 'luck' sometimes, too. It's a hard habit to break, but you've just got to keep working at it."
Paul was struck by the very different tone Vonnie took with the householders. Her voice was still delicious, but it was no longer sexy. She seemed to be in perfect control of both her voice and body. She also had a much better presentation at the doors than Ted. He decided to copy her presentation instead of Ted’s when she asked him to take a door.
It wasn't long before they met up with Bob, who promptly told them of his three book and six magazine placements. As they walked back to the car the usual stories were exchanged about the unusual householders they had met. Ted and Paul walked a little behind the others, and Ted quietly commended him, "By the way, thanks for not asking Bob what it was he did to get publicly reproved."
"You think I'm really tactless, don't you?" Paul asked in mock indignation, "but, just between you and me, what'd he do?"
"No one knows that but the elders, I'm afraid. Or rather, I’m glad that no one knows but the elders. All they tell us is that he engaged in ‘conduct unbecoming a Christian.’" After a lengthy pause, and just as the others had reached the car, he added, "There’s a rumor, though, that he and a certain sister got a little too close."
They dropped Phyllis off first. Ted thought to take her hand in helping her out of the car, but she grabbed onto the door instead.
After she said goodbye to everyone, Ted shut the car door and got bolder, "I'll walk you to the door."
"Oh, thank you," she giggled.
"I haven't seen you in awhile," he swallowed, adding the hard part: "that's not good for me."
"We were visiting another congregation last week," she explained, ignoring the last part of his comment.
"Well, I hope to be seeing more of you soon." He tried to sound ambiguous but failed; his meaning was all too plain.
"Well, I’ll be temporary-pioneering next month, so you'll see me out in service a lot then." She gave her broad smile, pretending she didn't know what was on his mind. "Well, goodbye."
Ted stood there, staring after her until Bob honked the horn.
Ted got back in the car, and rode in silence with the others for a few blocks until Paul called out: "Hey man, you can drop me right here by the park; there's some cats I know that hang around out here."
"All right," Bob said, pulling over to the curb, "I hope you learned something from your experience serving Jehovah today, Paul. It was the most valuable thing you've done so far in your life. We're all your brothers and sisters here and we want you to know that you're loved and appreciated. You always have a place to go in our spiritual paradise
"Is this going to take long?" Paul was wondering to himself as Bob continued his "speech to new people" which included a long harangue against the world and Christendom, and only concluded when Paul was actually out the door with "And I want you to remember, Paul, 'bad associations spoil useful habits'."
"Yeah, okay," Paul responded, "Nice to have met you all. I'll see you later, Ted." And he was off to join his seedy-looking friends.
"He's not your Bible Study, is he, Ted?" Bob asked.
This question so shocked Ted that he couldn't believe Bob had asked it. Somehow Bob’s powers of observation and deduction were greater than Ted had thought possible.
He sat there in silence that was deafening until Vonnie broke it; "Paul told me that you didn't get to eat your dinner, Ted."
"Yeah, that's right." He jumped at the opportunity to end his shameful silence and change the subject.
"More persecution at home, huh?" Bob asked, helping to ease the situation.
"Bob, drop me off next," Vonnie requested, I'm going to fix Ted a nice hot meal."
Ted, who had climbed into the front seat after Paul's departure, looked back at her with embarrassment, "No, that's all right--" he mumbled.
"Now don't let me hear any No's", she scolded, "Richard and I will be glad to have you eat with us. Then we can all go to the meeting tonight right from our place."
Ted was Richard’s Bible Study. Richard and Vonnie usually picked him up on their way to the hall.
"Here we are!" Bob called out, stretching the word "here" like Ed McMahon introducing Johnny Carson. They quickly said their good-byes before he could enter into another of his discourses, and were soon inside.
"I hope this won't look bad to the neighbors," Ted said quietly.
Vonnie left him in the living room on the couch as she started fussing with pots and pans in the open kitchen not fifteen feet from him. "Oh, it used to be that a sister couldn't be alone with a brother without the door open," she never used her hands to talk, and so she continued working efficiently, bringing speech and preparing dinner into one marvelous harmony. Ted visualized her words flowing into the food and sweetening it. "They even had to take a vow every morning at Bethel to leave the door open in such situations," she continued, "And then there was a big to-do once when brother Russell locked the door for one minute to talk privately to a sister. Wow! They thought that was just terrible!"
The sound of the stirring spoon and the bubbling beef stew blended with the aroma of the cooking, and Ted had died and gone to heaven when her voice was added to the mixture.
"Of course that's all changed now. I mean, we all know that we can trust brothers and sisters together in tight situations. And now that the world no longer thinks anything of it--well, what's to worry?"
But Ted still felt nervous alone with her. He felt so strangely about her. It was very different from the way he felt about Phyllis. He was attracted to both of them physically, but with one a physical relationship was within the realm of possibility, and so such ideas didn't have to be constantly purged from his heart. He was more attracted to Phyllis' personality than her body. But with Vonnie it wasn't so much what he'd call personality as what he conceived of as the sensuousness that exuded from her and lathered up and down his entire body like a thousand soft tongues.
"When you die you don't go to heaven, what's the matter with you," he scolded himself in his mind for his past thought in a supreme effort to expunge these last thoughts of Vonnie from consciousness.
She was sitting next to him now at a barely acceptable distance.
"It'll be ready in another 20 minutes; by that time Richard should be home," she told him.
"That sounds real good. I really hate to impose on you like this," he stared at the blank TV screen, afraid of getting lost in her large inviting eyes, "and I want you to know I'm really grateful."
"Don't mention it. You're not imposing when someone invites you to have dinner. Did you want to watch TV?"
"No, no. I never watch it anymore. There's so much immoral sex and violence on it." He immediately regretted having uttered the word "sex" in her presence, and he began to blush.
"I noticed you looking at it, that's all. Or is that your shyness again?"
He looked down at the rug. Whenever anyone mentioned shyness he instantly became shyer.
"You know one of the points in the Ministry School they have you work on is eye contact with the audience. You've joined the Ministry School, haven't you Ted?"
It seemed she was leaving the subject of his shyness, so he quickly answered, "No, not yet."
"You've really got to overcome that shyness of yours if you want to bring the Truth to people. Giving a talk in front of the congregation for the first time is hard, I know. But that's the whole purpose of the school; the more you do it the easier it gets.
The phone rang, startling them both. As she answered it, Ted tried to get rid of some of his tension. He thought of removing his sport coat and loosening his tie, but this seemed improper. He just took deep breaths and wondered why she was causing him to be so uptight.
"Okay, about nine then? All right. Later! " She hung up the phone and sat back down closer to Ted. "That was Richard; he has to work late," she pouted.
"He'll miss your delicious-smelling supper then?"
"Oh yes. He won't get off till about nine. He says he'll meet us at the hall then. Won't that look just fine, him coming into the middle of the meeting in his work clothes." She sounded disgusted.
"Better late than never," he quipped, trying to ease her mood.
It soon appeared to him that he eased it too much. "Now, where were we?" she asked innocently. "Oh yes, I was going to give you your first Ministry School lesson."
"Aren't just brothers supposed to do that?" he countered.
"You're not a brother yet, so that doesn't count."
"Then why did you and Phyllis let me give the orders in working the territory today when Bob wasn't there?"
"Well, women are supposed to be subject to men. It's only in certain things that I outrank you because you're not baptized yet. A sister could conceivably have a male Bible Study, though it's more proper to turn him over to another brother. But, I mean, we sisters talk to men door-to-door don't we?"
"Yes," he agreed, studying the rug as if he were a collector.
"And we teach them things, don't we?"
"Your point's taken."
"Good, then here's your first lesson on eye contact. I want you to look into my eyes from now on whenever we talk to one another. And when we're with others I want you to look into my eyes when no one else is talking. Think you can do that?"
"Sure, I can do that."
"Well, then?"
"Well it's hard now because you're looking at me."
"All right, I'll look away." She turned her eyes towards the front door and Ted stole a peek at her and then turned his gaze to the kitchen. She turned her eyes to look at him and saw that he wasn't looking at her, "C'mon," she pleaded, grabbing his shoulder and making him flinch and stare in dumb surprise smack-dab into her pupils.
"That's better," she said in her near-whisper. "Now keep it up, you're doing fine. I know what a hard time you're having at home from your opposing family, and you've got to get closer to all of us to compensate for that loss." She was gently rubbing his shoulder and using her full-whisper, "It's hard for guys your age to keep your minds off sex, I know. And here you not only have to fight those urges but an opposing family," she ran her fingers along the hairs on the nape of his neck, "and shyness as well. But we're all rooting for you. All your brothers and sisters are supportive of your fight." She now had her arm around him and was slightly squeezing his other shoulder.
"Sister, you're not making it easy for me now!" He jumped up, freeing himself from what he imagined were the tentacles of temptation.
"You can't mean that my merely touching you excited you?" Vonnie said, sounding as though she really doubted her powers of enticement.
"Look, " he said quickly, "I'm going to get baptized in the upcoming assembly, and--"
In a burst of real emotion she hopped up and kissed him in congratulation on the cheek, but close enough to the mouth to make him collapse back onto the couch. He was demolished now, unwilling to put up any resistance to her.
"That's great, I'm so happy for you!" she laughed delightedly, and walking into the kitchen called in a motherly tone, "Supper's ready!"
After dishing out the steaming contents she went hunting for her purse and fished out the doily that she had used at the service meeting earlier that day. "This is getting a lot of use today," she smiled, "will you help pin it on me?
Ted stood up and fastened it with trembling hands. When they were both seated they bowed their heads and Vonnie prayed.
After the meal Ted sat alone in the living room studying his books in preparation for the meeting. When she finished washing the dishes, Vonnie joined him. They studied together in silence for half an hour when she said, without taking her eyes off her "Aid to Bible Understanding" book, "Why don't you take your suit-coat and tie off and be comfortable?"
"Because it takes so long to re-tie it," he answered in kind.
"Oh, don't you know how to take it off without untying it?" she asked, looking at him at last. "Here, you just slip this little end out," her fingers deftly performed the operation under his neck, and she was soon holding the fat tie in her hand, waving it triumphantly before his face. "Then, when you want to put it on again, you just slip it around your neck, he felt her long fingernails clicking at his neck again, "and slip the little end back through the loop." She tugged up tightly and brushed off his lapels. "There: good as new. Now you try it."
Ted clumsily undertook the task, and when accomplished, waved it slightly to and fro as she had done as if this were a necessary part of the procedure.
"Now let's unbutton your collar," she insisted as she did the deed. "There, now you'll feel better."
He sat there, all nerves, waiting to see what she'd do next. But all she did next was go back to reading and underlining her "Aid" book.
"Can you drive, brother?" she asked as they were walking out to her car.
"Well, yes. But I'm real out of practice. Besides, wouldn't you rather drive your own car?"
"A brother should drive a sister, not vice-versa," she replied matter-of-factly.
"I'll never understand all these different rules of subjection," he despaired.
"Once you're a baptized brother it'll be easy. Then you'll have all the sisters in the organization in subjection to you: just think! It's almost worth it just for that, isn't it?"
They both laughed. But Ted further refused to drive, so Vonnie reluctantly did so.
No one apparently was in the Kingdom Hall parking lot. But as Ted and Vonnie walked up the steps to the front door, their hands moving along the railing as if Ted were grabbing sections of it and handing them back to Vonnie, they noticed Elder Nelson seated in Brother Stokes' van. He appeared to be holding an animated conversation with Sister Julia Salvayes. Ted and Vonnie pretended not to notice. Under normal circumstances they would have waved and waited to walk with them, but it appeared he was scolding her and she was near tears.
Inside the brightly-lit hall Ted felt all his fears and troubles melt away. There was a strength he could feel whenever he walked in among a group of Jehovah's people. It was the power and blessing of Jehovah's spirit, he knew.
"Well, hello Brother Evanston, Sister Johnson!" Rita Salvayez greeted them, standing closest to the door, and almost hidden by the light coats, old umbrellas, and a few winter coats that had been hanging there for months unclaimed on the hooks that lined the narrow entranceway walls. "I'm waiting for my sister Julia. She's out there catching it from Brother Nelson, I'm afraid,"
"Well, I hope she takes it to heart," Ted said as he brushed past her into the hall proper, leaving Vonnie to gossip with her.
He started making his way towards the magazine- and book-counter when a firm hand grabbed his shoulder.
"Hello Teddy." He turned to see Bob Morrow's broad grin. "I was just telling Andy here what a great day we had out in service."
"Yeah, five books and eight magazines in one afternoon is pretty good!" Andy agreed excitedly, "That must be a real good territory. I never get territories like that. You guys must know the right people." At this they all laughed good-naturedly. Brother Andrew Flemming seemed scarcely old enough to be signing out territories and talking with grownups. Ted estimated his age at 12 or 13. Coupling his maturity before his years with his bright red hair, he seemed a sort of mascot to the congregation.
"How many of those books and magazines did you place, Ted?" Andy asked with great curiosity. He seemed to look up to and admire everyone, and that tended to make people feel good around him.
"Actually--and this should make you feel better about not getting good territories--I didn't place anything."
"Oh, uh--" Andy fumbled for words, now sorry that he had asked the question.
"You helped place a book, now don't be so modest," Bob said.
As Bob and Andy began talking of sports, Ted gradually drifted away from them and made it to his previous destination. After a moment a brother appeared from behind the counter that swept along the entire left wall of the spacious hall. He was taking magazines out from under it and arranging them in display along three feet of the counter.
"Good evening, Brother Lindquist," Ted said as he shook the man's hand, "I'd like a "Theocratic Ministry School" book tonight."
"I'm sorry brother, I don't remember your name," Jerry Lindquist admitted with a bashful look. After being told, he introduced himself from force of habit (for it was obvious Ted already knew his name, having just said it). "Unfortunately I'm just the magazine servant. You'll have to wait for Brother Cranston to open the book counter. He should be here any minute."
"Better late than never." Ted wished he didn't have to rely so much on clichés when he tried to make small talk. It seemed better not to talk at all than to use such worn-out phrases.
Amidst the sights and sounds of the hall: the bright fluorescent lights, the swirl of people showing each other Bible verses, laughing, relating trials, triumphs, and tribulations, the elders murmuring huddled in a corner, attaché cases surrounding their feet; amidst all this flurry of activity, there sat brother George Butler alternately wiping his glasses and checking his watch.
"Hello, Brother Butler," Sister Gleason greeted, as Ted made his way towards him, "How are you tonight? All set for a good meeting?"
"Oh, yes, yes," He replied, "Just fine, sister. Thank you, thank you." At this response she smiled and walked away.
Ted sat down on the folding metal chair directly in front of Brother Butler and turned around to talk with him. The difference was that Ted really did talk to him, and it seemed to him that he was the only one who ever did. The others seemed only to patronize him as their "token Negro", or so it seemed to Ted. George Butler looked at it somewhat differently. He recognized the difference between the way Ted talked to him--asking him important questions about his life--rather than just exchanging pleasantries. But he also recognized that he had been treated a whole lot worse in his half century of life. There was bound to be a slight amount of standoffishness between white brothers and himself which even the Truth couldn't entirely efface. It was one of those inherent imperfections in man due to last until the New Order.
Ted saw that Mike Cranston had stationed himself behind the book-counter, so he excused himself from Brother Butler and made his way there once more. He passed close by Elder Dave Nelson, who had finished admonishing Sister Salvayez, evidently, and was now speaking with Vonnie Johnson: "I don't see Richard here tonight; is he sick?" He made it sound as though being ill was the only acceptable excuse for missing a meeting.
"No, I'm an electrician's widow tonight, I'm afraid," Vonnie joked, turning on the charm to no avail.
As Elder Nelson began delivering his "20 reasons why you should attend meetings" speech to a disgruntled Vonnie, Ted picked up threads to another conversation. It was Eric Potter saying to Sandy Wilson, "You mean to say you've never heard it? Sounds like a jet engine warming up. I was right in the middle of a talk once when I heard it for the first time and it threw me off completely. I stood up there grasping –"
"Hello Ted, how are you tonight?" Mike Cranston asked as he shook Ted’s hand.
"Just fine, brother. I was wondering if I might get a "Theocratic Ministry School" Book from you."
"Yes siree!" he said gleefully as he dipped under the counter and came back up with a small purple book. That'll be 25 cents since it isn't for placement, I take it?"
"No, it's for me. But why is this 25 cents and not 20 cents like all the other books?"
"Well, the only reason the Society lets you have them for 20 cents," Mike explained, "is so that when you place them for 25 cents it helps to pay for your expenses in gas and time, et-cetera. It doesn't really help much, though, with gas prices what they are."
Jerry Lindquist, who had been watching this transaction from behind his stacks of Watchtower and Awake magazines a few feet beside Mike Cranston now entered their conversation. "Hey Mike, I wonder what Ted's got on his mind, buying a book like that?"
"I don't know," Mike replied, smiling hard and strongly insinuating that there wasn't a doubt in his mind.
Ted caught up the smile and mood, "Oh, I'm just collecting these books; I never actually read them. You needn't worry, you'll never have to suffer through one of my talks; there's nothing that could get me up on that platform."
"Ted," Mike said in a sincerer though still jovial mood, "once you get up there you'll never want to come down."
"Brothers, could you take your seats please. The meeting's about to start." It was Elder Dale Garvias' voice booming out of the P.A. system. He motioned to Mike Cranston to turn down the amplifier located behind him along the wall. He turned to do so but Eric Potter was already there adjusting the knobs.
"Everything 's under control now, brother," Eric told Mike, who commended him on his efficiency (although it was, in fact, Eric's responsibility).
"By the way, Brother Evanston," Eric said slowly, his attention still fixed on the sound equipment, "we need someone to run the left mike during the service meeting. How would you like to do it?"
Ted saw that there was no way out and put up but feeble resistance; "I don't think I know all the names well enough to bring them the microphone when they're called on."
"That's no problem," Eric replied, taking out the two poles with microphones on their ends and unraveling the long cords wound around each, "when a brother or sister's called on, all the other hands go down. You just go to the hand that remains up."
Ted knew that it was an honor to be given even the slightest responsibility in the hall, especially for someone as new as he was, so he accepted. This also solved his seating problem. Usually he sat with the Johnsons. Tonight it wouldn't look right to sit with Vonnie since Richard wasn't there. And he didn't yet have the nerve to sit by Phyllis. Such an action, he knew, would be tantamount to announcing their engagement to the congregation, and he wasn't even sure she liked him yet.
So he enjoyed sitting at the far back of the hall with the long pole ready beside him. He could observe the whole congregation. It was a comfort to see all his brothers and sisters at one glance like a miser neatly stacking his gold coins before him so as to take them all in at a glance. "These good people are my riches," he thought to himself.
Brother Garvias announced the song they were to sing. Sandy Wilson waited for the songbook pages to stop rustling amongst the standing congregation and began banging out the tune on the piano off the right end of the platform.
After the song came the prayer, and after the prayer came the Theocratic Ministry School in which brothers and sisters of widely varying experience and competency tried their hand at giving a six-minute talk from the platform. It was Ted's favorite meeting. He liked the way Brother Garvias spared no one's feelings in offering criticism after each talk, and announcing what mark the speaker received for the point he or she was working on.
Ted liked trying to guess what point the brother or sister was working on during their talk. When a brother seemed to take any excuse to gesture wildly, arms flailing the air all about him, Ted correctly guessed that he was working on "Use of Gestures". Now possessing the "Ministry School" book, he was able to look up all these points as Brother Garvias directed everyone's attention to them.
He made up his mind during a particularly poor talk given by a very young sister, to join the school after the meetings that night. Because of their subjective position, sisters couldn't address the congregation directly; so a table was set up on the platform where two sisters would converse, one giving her talk to the other. It was more captivating than the brothers' sometimes monotonous monologues, but in this particular talk the young sister had evidently memorized her talk and forgot all the words half-way through. She tried to ad-lib to fill in the remaining minutes, but soon terror overcame her and she sat out the remaining two minutes in humiliated silence before brother Garvias rang his bell indicating the time was up. This sudden clear tone startled everyone and sent a few snickers through the audience. But it seemed terribly cruel for Garvias to make her sit out her time like that. It turned out she was working on "The Use of Notes," and so had failed miserably.
"If she can get up there and give another talk after that," Ted thought to himself, "I can do it too."
The hour up, another song was sung, and the Service Meeting began.
This consisted of experienced brothers giving talks on field service techniques, demonstrations of how to make a new presentation to a householder, and arrangements, plans, and announcements for placing literature. It was in this second meeting that a question-and-answer talk was given for which Ted, working down the left aisle and Andy Flemming working down the right, were required.
The first speaker began wrong, Ted decided, in that he asked a too-obvious question: "What is it our grand privilege to do for Jehovah?" No one cared to answer this question, as it would display no brilliance to do so. But finally a hand went up and in desperation Ted made for it before the brother had called on him. Ted began to reach the microphone over to him across five or six people sitting between him and the aisle when he saw that it was Bob Morrow. A murmur went up in the hall. The brother on the platform saw what was about to happen and called out, "Ah--Sister Kapler, please, brother." Ted looked up at him perplexed, and then remembered the stricture on Bob. "The sister right next to Brother Morrow there, brother," he directed Ted who pulled the mike back a little to the sister who grabbed it and pulled it to her mouth.
"We get to go out in service and place our new publication. " She said, answering his next question as well for good measure.
As Ted returned to stand towards the back of the hall, there was a pause in the brother's talk, and everyone was suddenly aware of Ted's squeaking shoes. The next one who answered was on Andy's side, so Ted relaxed. It was an odd, awkward, or downright wrong answer, the kind speakers always delight in because of all the hands that instantly shoot up hoping for the chance of pointing out the error, or showing how much better they can phrase the thought. But the brother giving the talk was a little off his stride tonight, and he was consulting his notes trying to determine if the answer was acceptable while all those hands were out there like so many stalks of wheat gently waving in the wind, begging to be plucked.
In this rather tense gap of silence a strange sound was heard; Eric's words were recalled instantly to Ted's mind, "like a jet engine warming up". It was Sister Nelson, the elder's wife, suppressing a sneeze. Trying to be a lady by letting it out easy, she only succeeded in making such a ridiculous sound that even a cloistered monk of twenty years’ grueling discipline would, upon hearing it, burst out laughing. Tongues were bit; faces grew red and grimaced. Lips were forced downwards in supreme efforts of the will. The brother on the platform turned his body away under the pretext of coughing, but it sounded more like laughter. When he had let so much out he returned, excused himself, and quickly scanning for the most composed face he could find, called on Phyllis Dorsey. Ted wondered how he'd manage to hold the mike without shaking with laughter. He felt he'd explode at any moment because the dignity of the meeting, when shattered by the least humorous thing made that thing seem exaggeratedly funny. But as he held the mike out to Phyllis, he caught sight of David Nelson's somber face, and this was enough to pull him together.
"THEODORE EVANSTON!" called a voice out of hell--a voice that seemed to crack Ted's mind wide open and spill out all these wonderful people, all this love, all these truths--it was his father's voice.
"Theodore Evanston!" Larry Evanston called again as all heads turned to look at him, standing larger than life, at the back of the hall. Ted didn't know what to do. Should he take the mike away from Phyllis in mid-sentence? Should he ask his father to be quiet? While standing there stunned, Jerry Lindquist, who was supposed to be the usher for that meeting, stepped up to Ted's father with a quiet word and a firm hand on his arm.
"Take your hands off me," Larry spewed forth as he jerked free, "I want my son, and don't any of you Jehovahs try to stop me!" Ted didn't want the meeting broken up any further on his account, so he laid the mike down and walked out with his father.
"What's it gonna be, young man?" Larry asked as they sped off in his pickup truck. "A man comes home after days of work, he wants his family there with him. He don't wanna hear they've gone off to some fanatics. When you quit school I thought you'd get a job and help your old man out. Did you do that? Huh?"
"No."
"Damn right, no! I had to pay my old man rent when I was your age. Shit, I was out there breakin' my back to help support my family. I didn't go out all day long makin' a fool of myself botherin' people, gettin' doors slammed in my face. And don't tell me that don't happen 'cause Paul told me all about it. Hell, he's more my son than you are. He's there more than you are. Besides that, he's got a job and helps his family. Now what's it gonna be? Your mother's worried sick about you not comin' home for supper, gone till after dark. She thinks you've gone crazy. Everyone says you've changed and turned on your family. Now what's it gonna be?"
"What do you mean?" Ted asked, the tears streaming down his face.
"I mean you've got a choice. You're old enough now to decide what you wanna do. You get baptized a Jehovah, you can kiss your family goodbye, or don't they allow that?" he mocked, glaring at Ted so long that Ted started worrying about running into something.
"Watch the road!" Ted pleaded.
"Don't tell me!" Larry hit his son across the head with his open palm, releasing all his hate and frustration. "I can watch the road! That's how I make your living, or did you forget? Breaking my ass day in and day out on the road, and then I come home to what? Now what's it gonna be, your family or the Jehovah's Witnesses?"
"I can't leave the Truth," Ted whimpered.
"But you can leave your family, is that it?"
"I don't want to leave either."
"You have to choose one or the other. I ain't havin' no good-for-nothin' Jehovah under my roof. That's just like havin' the Devil in the house. That's what Pastor Enright told me last Sunday. He says 'havin' one of them in your house is like invitin' the Devil into your heart.' You already got the Devil in your heart; now what's it gonna be?"
Ted looked at his father through watery eyes. Somewhere inside them both there was a vague awareness that they loved each other. But Ted couldn't help but contrast the peace and warmth of the congregation with the fury and harshness manifest in his father's love.
"I'm going to be baptized as one of Jehovah's Witnesses," he said at last, his voice quivering.
By this time they were on the freeway, and Larry pulled onto the shoulder. He reached over and opened Ted's door, "Get out!" he cried. They were the last words he'd speak to his son for nearly a year.
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Falling in Truth 
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Chapter 2: Richard Johnson
As Ted climbed the fence to get off the freeway, he realized that it was too late to walk back to the hall. The meeting would be over by the time he walked that far. It was unthinkable to return to his home. The only alternative was the Johnson's home.
He had a lot of time to think on that lonely, long walk in the dark, and it seemed that Satan bit at his heels every step of the way.
"Is this what I really want to do? Or am I being brainwashed and don't know it?" He smiled through his dried tears at this last thought; he had never thought so clearly. If indeed his brain had been washed, it was only the dirty thoughts of this old world that had been washed away--and so much the better. He felt clean, untainted by worldly desires. And yet, visions of beautiful women still danced across his mind. He sped along in fast cars or impressed everyone at the disco with his chic clothes and dancing ability in his fantasy life which had not quite died, though he smothered it hourly.
In an effort to kill the "old man's" thoughts, this "new man" began reviewing how he had come to be a new man.
It was a frigid day in January when Ted sat with his little brother Jason at the kitchen table and circled the Help-Wanted ads for jobs that matched his qualifications. When the doorbell rang, Patrick and Juanita made a run for it to see who could answer the door first. It was Jason who intercepted them and reminded them that they weren't allowed to open the door when their mother wasn't home. However, to prove how grown-up he was, Ted took charge of the situation. Believing that such prohibitions no longer applied to him since he was now 16 years old, he opened the door. There stood a man in his thirties, well dressed, carrying a leather briefcase. A little to one side and behind him was a very pretty woman. They were both tall and looked like the people Ted had seen on The Lawrence Welk Show: what one might call "perfect people".
"Good afternoon," the man began, "my name is Richard Johnson and this is my wife, Vonnie."
"Hi," Vonnie said cheerfully.
"And what can I do for you today?" Ted inquired, trying to impress his brothers and sister with his grown-up manner of speech.
"Well, you could listen to a couple of Scriptures for me with an open mind; how does that sound?" Richard was always fond of departing widely from the recommended presentations given at service meetings, and his favorite system was ad-libbing.
"Very well," Ted replied with exaggerated dignity. Looking back at his siblings with a superior air, he invited the strangers into the living room to sit.
Soon Ted forgot all about impressing "the little kids" as he became engrossed in the Scriptures they had him read aloud. After he had read a description of what they told him the "new world" would be like from Isaiah, Chapter 11, Vonnie used her precious instrument of speech to repaint the picture in her own sweet words:
"Just think of that, Ted: wouldn't you like to live at a time when there'll be no hatred, prejudice, or crime? When all the earth's people are well fed, loved, and happy? Even the wild animals will be tame then. 'The lion will lay down beside the lamb.' And more importantly, people with lion-like characteristics today will no longer devour the gentle, meek, lamb-like people. They'll all be brought into a wonderful, blissful harmony with Jehovah God ruling over all, sending his blessings down amongst us like refreshing rains in the parched desert. There'll be no sickness, disease, or death, for Jehovah says he'll wipe every tear from our eyes, and death and mourning and pain will all have passed away. We'll live a more natural existence then, closer to nature (which will then be pure as the 'river of water of life' flowing from Jehovah's throne) like we were always meant to be. God has created this world for the good of man, and even though man has ruined it to the point of no return and made colossal problems for himself that are forever insolvable, Jehovah God is still going to forgive him and wipe out all the mess man has made. Then will come the new world of peace and plenty when he showers his blessings on all his people.
"But, in order to be one of his people, you have to align yourself on his side now. Otherwise, if you're still part of this old world when Armageddon comes, well, you'll be swept away with the old world, because only those looking forward to and praying for the new world will survive into it."
Ted’s mind spun from all this. They struck him as beautiful words, and much wiser men have mistaken beauty for truth. He bought their magazines and borrowed money from Jason to buy The Truth That Leads to Eternal Life book. They asked if they could come back--he invited them back. They asked if they could start a Bible Study with him--he eagerly agreed. This was by far the best news he had ever heard, especially to think that there was a whole church-load of people like these--all perfect, all new-worldly, all so knowledgeable and pleasant. He could readily believe Vonnie's description of it as a ‘spiritual paradise among Jehovah's people’."
But as soon as Mary Evanston returned from shopping that day, Ted began to have second thoughts. Never had he heard a group of people so reviled by anyone, least of all by his mother. You would have thought Ted had let in members of the Ku Klux Klan in her absence rather than Bible students. He reluctantly agreed to have no more to do with them, and soon forgot all about them, shoving the book and magazines to the back of his already stuffed dresser drawer.
Ted had just quit school a week before this incident and he spent the following week fruitlessly searching for a job. He was sorry now that he had given up his paper route as "too childish," because no one else would hire someone so young. It was a frustrating week, but his mother and father, he knew, were behind him. He had been surprised when he first told them his wish to drop out of high school; they put up no resistance! In fact, they seemed glad of the prospect. They had been suffering through hard times on Larry Evanston's small paychecks, and every little bit would help. But so far he was faring poorly in finding employment.
The next Saturday, exactly one week after their first visit, Richard and Vonnie knocked on the Evanston's door. This time both Ted's father and mother were home.
"Yeah?" Larry asked impatiently, his mind on the hockey game he was missing.
"Hello, sir," Richard began, trying to soften the brittle character before him so that his coming powerful words of good news wouldn't snap him in two, "we're a couple of Bible students sharing God's message with people in your neighborhood today—"
"Naw, I haven't got the time," Larry broke in, and started to shut the door. Vonnie quickly came to the rescue: "Is Ted home? We talked to him last week and he asked us to come back today."
Larry, who wasn't thinking clearly about the matter at hand since he heard crowds cheering on the TV, called Ted to the door and returned to the game.
Ted dutifully went to the door and began talking with them. He found them a fascinating couple. At first he remembered his mother’s words and wondered how to graciously get rid of them, but soon the woman's honeyed words had him enthralled once again.
"I'd invite you in--I can see that your hands are turning blue from the cold trying to turn your Bible pages--but we couldn't talk above the TV, I'm afraid," Ted replied.
"In that case," Richard said, using his most sincere voice, "we want you to know that there's a place you can come to where you can hear more of the Truth and meet Jehovah God's people. We have a Kingdom Hall where we meet twice a week. You've probably seen it--right off Freeway 61."
"Yeah, I think I have. But I don't have any way of getting out there."
"We also have meetings at our house,' Vonnie added. "Every Thursday night we have a book study there with just a small group. We don't live far from here. You could easily walk it if you don't have a car. In fact, we'd be glad to give you a ride to the hall anytime--"
"What the hell is this?" Mary shouted, "Why have you got that door open, letting all the heat out, Theodore Evanston?" She had the habit, common to parents, of calling her children by their full names as if this better conveyed her anger. To begin a dispute over a trifle was also her usual strategy. In this manner she could build up her anguish to a fevered pitch by the time she reached the weightier matter. "Don't you know how much our gas bill was for last month? Why are you standing there? Are you talking to someone?" She feigned ignorance of the visitors.
"Hello, Mrs. Evanston," Richard bravely began in an overly cheerful voice, "we were just talking to Ted about the Bible. We were here last week and he showed some interest in what we had to say. Perhaps you'd be so kind as to invite us in; we could save your heat from escaping and talk with both of you."
Mary thought a moment, scowling. Then her face brightened and she told them to come in. They did so. Ted sat down opposite the sofa where his father sat at one end, engrossed in the television. But when Richard and Vonnie followed suite, Mary scolded, "I didn't say you could sit down! Say what you gotta say standing right there; I don't want you dragging snow all over my carpet. Don't you people have any consideration?"
"Sorry," Richard mumbled, finally realizing what he was up against.
"As we were telling Ted last week, the Bible holds out the only true hope for mankind, pointing forward to a new order of peace and happiness."
"Yes, I've got a Bible and I read it, " Mary replied, "So what do I need you coming here for? Makin' people feel they're not Christians, like they should be going to people's houses making fools of themselves like you! You think you're so much better than us, don't you?"
"No, not better. If you'll get your Bible I'd like to look up some Scriptures with you that'll show you why we come to your door."
"I don't need to get my Bible, I know enough of it by heart. I know what it says about false prophets coming and deceiving true believers. I know what it says that I need to believe unto salvation; 'That the Lord God so loveth the world that he gave his only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in him shall be saved.' I believe in him, so what need have I of you? You're false prophets, you don't believe in Jesus, and you don't even believe we have a soul. Well, you'll find out you've got a soul when you get to hell, 'cause that's where you're all going!"
Richard made bold, just as Mary's words were ending in their triumphant curse, to walk over to the television and turn the volume down considerably. Ostensibly this was in order that Mary wouldn't have to shout so loud over it. But really, it was so he could make his answer more readily heard without destroying the effect by having to raise his voice: "You say that you believe in God and in his Son, But just what, exactly, do you believe about them? The Bible tells me that God is love, and that his anger cannot last forever. This is the God of the Bible and the God I believe in. But you seem to believe in something entirely foreign to this notion of a loving God; you believe in a tormenting God that stokes the fires of hell! And through this belief is your salvation assured? Madam, forgive me, but I doubt that you can be sincere in what you say. You don't need to look in the Bible to see if what we have to say is true or not? Well, if you managed to memorize Acts, Chapter 17, Verses 10 and 11, you'd have seen the example of the Boreans whom the Bible calls noble because 'they received the Word with the greatest eagerness of mind, carefully examining the Scriptures daily as to whether these things were so.' The Bible encourages you to 'make sure of all things' because, sure, many false prophets have gone forth and are deceiving many--but how are you to know which are the true and which the false without recourse to God's Word? We boldly come to your door, Bible in hand, ready to prove to you that your church is the false prophet that misleads you, and that this," he held the Bible up dramatically, "is the truth that will set you free!
"You say that we are fools to come to your door and proclaim the good news to people who already have religion. If I am a fool, I am a fool for Christ, as Paul was. He didn't share your strange belief that all one needed was faith; he wrote: 'With the heart one exercises faith for righteousness, but with the mouth one makes public declaration for salvation.' James likewise points this out in asking, 'Of what benefit is it, my brothers, if a certain one says he has faith but he does not have works? That faith cannot save him, can it? Indeed, as the body without spirit is dead, so also faith without works is dead.'
"The hatred you bear towards us is manifest, dear lady. But Christ told his disciples to preach the good news of this kingdom and baptize disciples in his name. We do that like no other religion. Christ also taught that his people would be hated and persecuted on account of his name; you yourself prove therefore that we are true Disciples of Christ."
Mary had been standing there trying to take all this in and look for some flaw, some opening where she could make an attack on the man's words. Now she simply turned her back on them and walked over to the TV.
"What did you do that for, woman?" Larry screamed as his wife clicked the set off with great emphasis. He had been sitting there through all this with his had cupped over his ear, his body straining on the edge of his seat to hear the play-by-play over the arguing going on in the room.
"You throw these people outta here!" Mary cried, her entire body tensed, eyes shut, as if she couldn't wait for the intolerable presence of these demons to be removed.
Larry stood up, concerned about the state of his wife. He cast a mean look at the two and said, "You heard the little lady--get the hell outta here!"
They left without a word. Mary slumped down into the easy chair as if she had held the taut posture for centuries and was completely exhausted.
"You all right, honey? " Larry asked as he turned the set back on.
"Sure, I'm fine. I don't listen to the Devil when he comes into my house; hell, he's been sittin' in my ear too many times for me not to recognize his voice. It's that young man there I'm worried about."
Larry looked over at Ted and could see why she was worried about him. He was so caught up in the words he had just heard it seemed he wasn't aware they had stopped. He had never heard such a triumphal comeback to his mother. She always had the last word--always, that is, until now. What mastery this man and woman possessed of the Bible and language. It had to be nothing short of the truth!
"Don't listen to 'em son," Larry cautioned, "Here, sit down with me and watch the game. Momma, bring in some more chips and a beer for Ted."
"Beer? For Ted?" she laughed.
"Sure, he's old enough now, aren't you, son?"
Ted looked at them both, going back and forth from one to the other imperceptibly slowly. "Didn't you--didn't you hear them? What they said, the words they used?"
"Naw, naw. I was listenin' to the hockey game here, Teddy. C'mon an' watch it with your old man. Stop thinking of them fanatics; they'll put a spell on you and you'll wind up thinking wrong thoughts."
Ted got up and went to the window. "They're just getting into their car now," he said.
"And good riddance!" Mary chuckled.
"There's another man and woman in the front, " Ted continued reporting, "I wonder what they'll tell them about us."
"Who cares?" Larry responded scornfully, returning full interest to his game.
"They're laughing! Mom, Dad, they're laughing at you!" Ted called out in astonishment and began laughing himself.
"Get away from that window and let be, for land's-sake!" Mary grew bitter at the thought of people laughing at her.
Ted laughed all the harder and went out the door, slamming it behind him. Mary gripped the armrests of her chair and gasped. By the time she reached the window Ted had made it across the street and was leaning over to talk to them through their car window. By the time she opened the door and yelled at him he had already received the paper with the Johnson's address and phone number on it.
In the weeks that followed Ted managed to buy scores of books from Richard and read several. He locked himself in his room, coming out only for meals, and assimilated every scrap of information he could manage to understand by himself. When at last his lengthy "grounding" had elapsed, his first outing took him to the Johnson's home. There, Richard began to teach him every night (rather than the usual once-a-week lesson) using the Truth Book. Ted zipped through the book in three weeks and began attending meetings and going out in service.
Now he had reached the point where he was studying and preparing himself for baptism at the upcoming convention on the Fourth of July.
He had memorized the answers to the required 80 questions and anxiously awaited the three meetings with the elders who would ask him these questions before approving him for baptism.
Ted finished reminiscing as he now approached the familiar Johnson home. He hoped that they weren't in bed already, and began thinking of how to explain his plight to them in the most dignified and eloquent way. Ted had not only been studying the Truth, but also attempting to reach that plateau of excellent speechmaking and grace that the best Witnesses all seemed magically to possess. His speech had improved greatly in the last few months. He looked up every unfamiliar word that he came across in each issue of the Watchtower to help improve his vocabulary and made a point of using his newly discovered words whenever possible. Soon he began sounding very much like a Watchtower article, he thought, but the truth was that his speech often sounded pretentious.
He stepped lightly onto the wooden porch so as not to awaken the Johnsons, in case they had retired early. But as he approached the door, he could hear voices. He went inside to knock on their front door but hesitated; the voices were arguing heatedly.
"I'll have to give it up then, won't I?" a pause, "Won't I?"
"Yeah, sure. But you'll be pioneering with the kids."
The voice that asked was Vonnie's; that which answered was Richard's. Ted didn't know whether it was right to disturb them in mid-argument, but he felt it was worse to eavesdrop, so he knocked on the door.
"That's easy for you to say," a distraught Vonnie was heard to say, "you're at work all day and half the night."
"We're back to that, are we?" Richard despaired, "Look, I told you I try to get out of it, but once in awhile I have to work late. I've got responsibilities--a crew of men working under me--"
"And who do you think has to take the criticism for your absence? I got a good going-over from Brother Nelson on your behalf tonight. He told me what a bad example it was to the congregation. I was so embarrassed."
Realizing that they hadn't heard his soft knock but were battling on a higher volume, Ted resolved to knock again as soon as Richard had a chance to reply to Vonnie's last statement.
"He's an old fuddy-duddy sometimes, that Brother Nelson. He should realize that a man's gotta work to support a nagging wife and child. Plus I got lawyer's fees, trying to get custody of my kids. And I'm going to get custody," he added with determination, "so just reconcile yourself to that fact. You knew I wanted them when you married me. If you couldn't handle being a mother you should've backed out then!"
This last blow was much too harsh, and Ted allowed time for Vonnie to make her defense.
"I am a mother, or did you forget about our daughter already?"
That was enough. Ted knocked loudly.
"Well hello Ted," Richard smiled, shaking and pulling his hand at the same time, "c'mon in. What brings you here at this late hour?"
Ted looked around the room for Vonnie but didn't see her. "I'm sorry to bother you, but I got thrown out of the house by my dad."
"Yeah, Vonnie told me all about what happened at the hall with him coming in and hollering. Boy, Satan is really giving you a hard time. But don't feel like the ‘lonesome stranger’; he does that to everyone just before they get baptized--it's the last thing he wants you to do, so he's going to be trying his best tricks now. But we know 'em all--he's got nothin' new up his sleeve, as the Bible says in a better way. So what happened after your dad took you out of the hall?"
"We just got in the pickup and headed down the freeway. Then he asked me to choose between my family and being baptized. I chose the latter, and he put me out."
"Right on the freeway?"
"Yeah, I had to climb the fence to get off it, and then I walked here. But it wasn’t so bad. I had lots of time to think."
Richard smiled at him and Ted couldn't help laughing a little from sheer joy. Not only had he successfully passed Satan's big test and chosen the Truth, he was using such favorite expressions of Richard's as "I chose the latter". A warm, good-natured feeling passed between them and made them feel more than ever like brothers.
After this glow had somewhat dimmed, Richard lightly hit his forehead with the base of his palm. It was a common gesture of his whenever he had a sudden revelation. The only peculiar thing about it was how he took care to bend his hand back as far as possible and curl back his fingers as if he were afraid they might touch his hair or head.
"The apartment upstairs is vacant and I've got the key!" he exclaimed. "The landlady left it with me in case I had to show it to anyone who stopped by when she couldn't make it. You can sleep up there tonight."
"You're sure it'll be all right?"
"Sure. Nobody's gonna know. It's furnished with a bed and everything. I'll have Vonnie hunt up some blankets for you and you'll be all set."
With that, Richard opened the bedroom door and went in. It opened onto an old wooden desk covered with opened books piled in disarray. On either side of the desk stood floor-to-ceiling shelves lined with books. The bed was to the left of the room and Ted could just see the edge of it as he stood politely back from the doorway. On the far-left wall, out of sight to Ted, were the dressers and closet.
"Here they are," Richard took the keys from his desk drawer, threw them up a few inches and caught them with a swift swoop of his hand.
"Honey!" he called, emerging from the bedroom and passing through the living room towards the inconveniently placed bathroom, "Honey!"
"What?" her faint voice responded.
"Ted Evanston's here. He's gonna sleep upstairs. We got any blankets to put on the bed up there?"
"Just a minute, I'll be right out."
"Well, let's sit down," Richard chuckled, "we'll have an hour to wait for her now."
Ted sat on the sofa in the same spot he had occupied earlier that day with Vonnie. He didn't smile at Richard's joke, as he didn't want to take sides in their quarrel even though it wore the thin disguise of humor.
"Better yet," Richard said, excited as a kid having his friend stay overnight, let's go up now and I'll show you the apartment."
They went out into the hall and turned up the steep, narrow flight of stairs. The door at the top opened out onto the steps forcing a person to step back and stretch to maintain hold of the knob. In Richard's case this wasn't difficult, as he was tall. The apartment was much nicer than the Johnson's. It had a thick shag carpet, new wallpaper, and dark wooden kitchen cabinets. Like Richard's, the living room was open to the kitchen, and in fact, the kitchen was larger than the living room. Down a tiny hallway to the left of these rooms was a bathroom on the right and a bedroom straight ahead.
"This is really a nice place," Ted said, "it all looks so new."
"Yeah, they re-did everything a couple years ago so they could raise the rent. I used to live up here before that. But when I got married we moved downstairs because we needed more room."
After he had shown Ted around and explained how it used to look, Richard sat down on the sofa and sighed, "Ah, for the life of a bachelor!"
Just then Vonnie walked in carrying blankets, a pillow, a pot, and a carton of milk. "Do they have the refrigerator on up here yet?" she asked as she made her way to the kitchen.
"I'm sure they're gonna keep it running when no one's living here," Richard mocked, smiling at Ted and expecting him to smile back in due appreciation of his wife's stupidity.
"The gas is on, anyway," she commented, taking no note of him.
"What are you doing, sister?" Ted asked.
"You're gonna find it hard to get to sleep tonight in a strange bed, so you drink this nice warm milk and that'll help."
"That's very thoughtful of you."
"That's what sisters are for." As she smiled at him, he saw her face fully for the first time since she'd come in the room; it was obvious she'd been crying. Her eyes were red and her complexion blotchy.
As Vonnie went into the bedroom with the covers, Richard began asking hard questions; "So what are you going to do now that you're on you own? Or are you going to try living with an opposing family again?
"No, I don't think I'll go back. I can't take that anymore. It's a constant persecution, a breaking down when I need building up. I guess I'll have to find a place of my own and get a job."
Richard looked around the room exaggeratedly, and with a sly smile said, "What about this place?"
"This place?" Ted responded in surprise as if the thought had never occurred to him. "I could never afford this place!"
"Oh, you'd be surprised what you can afford when you've got loving brothers and sisters looking out for you."
"Love doesn't pay the rent," Ted laughed.
Vonnie came back in shortly thereafter, "Let's go, Richard. Honestly, let the boy get some sleep now. If I don't drag you away, you two will be talking all night."
"Yes, dear," he patronized. "You sleep on what I said, Ted. We'd sure like to have a brother living up here instead of worldly people. "
"But would your landlady want someone like me?"
"She loves Jehovah's Witnesses, as tenants," Richard replied, "because they take good care of the place and pay the rent on time.
"Usually," Vonnie felt compelled to add, which made Ted chuckle.
When they had left, Ted slowly drank the warm milk and wondered if what Bob Morrow had said was really true; did they really forget that he was black? For it was this fact that he was worried about in respect to the landlady, not that he was a Witness.
When he had already stripped down to his underwear and was about to crawl into bed, he realized how terribly warm it was in the room. All of the heat seemed to pass right up from downstairs since it was always cool and drafty down there. He went to shut the heating vent in the corner of the floor, but as he enjoyed the feeling of the warm air streaming across his face and running through his hair for a minute, he also heard the bickering voices once again.
"I wasn't going to tell you this yet," Richard began, "but it looks like June is going to give me custody of the kids for sure now. It's only a matter of days at the most, we think."
"How wonderful for you," Vonnie said sarcastically, "what made the little witch change her mind? I thought she'd never give them up."
"You mean you hoped she wouldn't. "
"Well, I can always hire a maid, I suppose--"
"Don't be stupid. It's your duty as a wife to care for my kids. They're not hellions, you know. I've talked with them about the Truth. Besides, you have to love, honor, and obey me, so be an obedient, submissive wife."
"I want to be a submissive wife, I want to be a mother. And I want to be a pioneer. In fact, I am all those things already. But if you bring in three more kids for me to take care of--kids that aren't even in the Truth--well, I won't be a pioneer anymore to start with. Then I won't have time to spend with Jeannie like a real mother should. I'll be spending all my time with someone else's kids."
"My kids!" Richard reminded her.
"And how do I break the news to Jeannie?" Vonnie continued. "How do I tell her that she's going to have to share her mother four ways all of a sudden? How do you think that's going to affect her life?"
"Jeannie's always happy to see the kids when they come, you know that. They get along real well, especially Joey and her."
"As friends. They get along as friends, They've never had to be brother and sister before!"
There was a pause and a softer voiced Richard began, "Look, Darling, it's all set. It's gonna happen. There's no use fighting about it now. Let's just discuss it..." There was a long period of soft words that Ted couldn't catch. He was about to hop into bed when he picked out these final ones wafting up through the register: "It's our duty to make disciples. This way we can make three disciples for sure."
"If you can't convert 'em, breed em! Huh?" Vonnie laughed.
"Hey, that's not a bad idea," Richard said. And Ted, listening as hard as he could, heard no more voices. He smiled, stripped off his underwear due to the heat (the register was stuck open), and fell into bed.
There was no time for reflecting over the emotion-packed day he'd just lived through. He thought of going over it all in his mind and especially scrutinize Vonnie's conduct towards him to assure himself it was only sisterly concern and that he was physically over-sensitive. But sleep robbed these intentions of their fulfillment.
"Rise and shine! Rise and shine!" said a T-shirted, unshaven Richard at 7:00 the following morning. He was standing over Ted roughly shaking the bed. A breakfast of bacon and eggs downstairs at the Johnson's followed.
At lunch-time Richard told Ted that it would be futile looking for a place to stay before he found employment. So all that day Ted searched for suitable work--and found none. When he returned at 2:30 in the afternoon feeling beaten, Jeannie Johnson ran out to meet him and gave him a hug.
"Well hello there, Jeannie! Did you just get back from your grandma's?"
"Yeah. An' you know what? We went downtown and bought new shoes. See?" She held up her left foot in her right hand to display the tiny red shoe.
"Wow, that's real pretty!"
"Aw, you don't mean it."
"Why ever do you say that?"
"Cause boys never care about shoes an' stuff like that. C'mon," she urged, grabbing his hand, "I'll show you my Gramma."
As he was thus unceremoniously ushered in, he fixed his eyes in surprise on the two women; they could scarcely be distinguished. The lines of age on the one were matched by the lines of worry on the other. He figured Vonnie was upset about the matter he had overheard the night before. He tried his best to turn the strange sight to good; "Boy, you two look more like sisters than mother and daughter!"
Vonnie smiled over at her mother who laughed with a backward thrust of her head and body while slapping her knee; "Von, you must of forgot your makeup this morning if you look as bad as me!"
Vonnie laughed at this half-heartedly, and Jeannie joined in with her giggling, although she didn't know what was funny.
"Mom, this is Ted Evanston. He's thinking of renting the upstairs."
"Pleased to meet you," Ted smiled, not knowing whether he should move forward and shake hands or not. He had shook so many thousands of hands since coming into the Truth. He decided not to since it might look funny and he didn't want to start the elderly lady laughing again.
After pleasantries and small talk, Jeannie came running in and began imploring Ted to come and see something in her room. He was feebly trying to excuse himself from attending the sight, as she pulled anxiously on his arm, when Vonnie came to the rescue: "Jean Alice Johnson, that's not the way a lady behaves. Now sit down on the couch between Teddy and Gramma."
"Sorry," she pouted as she sat.
Her grandmother gave her a hug saying, "That's my little darling!" which revived her smiles.
"Jeannie," her mother began, returning to the familiar form of address to show all anger had passed, "you remember Joey and Bobby and Sherri, don't you?"
" Uh-huh. That Joey," she said with feigned disgust as she turned to Ted, "he takes all my toys out every time he's here and spreads them out all over my bed and--" she began giggling uncontrollably and the rest of the incident was indecipherable.
"Well, how would you like to see them again?" Vonnie asked.
"Oh boy, would I! I'll bet they'd come in an' see what's in my room right now."
"What is in your room, Jeannie?" Ted asked, trying to relieve the tension in the air and delay the dreaded moment that was to change the sweet little girl's life.
"I'm not gonna tell you." She folded her arms and stuck her nose high in the air. Then she made as if about to jump down in excitement but stopped and asked, "Mom, can I stop sitting down now and run around? Not all over the house like you don't want me to, but just in the hall and my bedroom?"
Ted couldn't help but make the analogy between her and a well-trained dog told to "stay".
"Not yet. Mommy has more to say to you and then you can run around with even more excitement!"
"More excitement than those guys comin' over? What, tell me, what?"
"Well, Jeannie, you know that your father and I love you very much: more than anything in the world. But we also love Bobby and Sherri and Joey. And you love them too, don't you?"
"Sure, I love everybody!" she exclaimed with an expansive gesture which left her arms about her grandmother and Ted.
"And they love us too. In Fact, they'd like to stay with us all the time instead of a week or two now and then. Wouldn't that be nice?"
"All the time? Forever?" She crinkled up her face at the idea.
"Yes, wouldn't that be nice to always have someone to play with?"
"Yeah. But sometimes--"
"Wouldn't you like to have them for brothers and a sister? Vonnie interrupted, her voice beginning to crack.
She shrugged her shoulders, "That'd be all right I guess, if Joey helps put my toys back when we're done playing."
"Come here and give your mother a big hug!" Vonnie cried, with tears coursing down her cheeks.
"You're gonna be one big happy family, you'll see," Vonnie's mother assured her as she watched her daughter and granddaughter in a loving embrace. "But I guess I'd better be going now."
Ted left too, feeling out of place at such an intimate family moment. He began underlining the Watchtower for next Sunday's meeting as soon as he got upstairs. He was only a few paragraphs into it though when his mind began to be distracted by material necessities. Here he was in an apartment that wasn't his, without food, a job, or anything but a bag full of Truth books, magazines, and a Bible. Things couldn't go on like this for long. He heard Vonnie calling him and went down. She served him lunch and suggested he get his things from home if his dad wasn't there now. At first he hesitated since he didn't feel right about putting his things in the apartment when he hadn't rented it, but she convinced him it was better to have them than leave them at home. So he used her phone and ascertained the absence of his father from home.
Jason wouldn't let Ted in the house at first, out of meanness. "We don't want no Jehovahs in here!" he called through the locked door.
"Mom's gonna give you a beatin' if you don't let me in, Jason. And if she doesn't, I will!"
Jason could never stand up to a threat, and so let his brother in without another word. Then he ran upstairs ahead of him to their room. "C'mon, Pat. We gotta make sure he don't take any of our stuff."
As his two little brothers crowded into the bedroom they had shared for so long, Ted felt his first pang of homesickness. He almost longed to see Patrick jump down from the top bunk with the "boom!" he used to dread every morning, and hear Jason poke and swear at him from the bottom bunk.
He answered few of their numerous and irrelevant questions as he packed his things in the old, beat-up suitcase that had stood for years at the back of his closet. When he had packed all his clothes he looked about the room for any other possessions. All that came to sight were two things too bulky to fit, so he made a gift of them to his brothers; "Jason, you can have my microscope-set if you promise to take good care of it."
"I promise."
"And Patrick, you can have my model airplane."
"Neato!"
Ted shut the bedroom door to look behind it. There was nothing there but cobwebs, but on the back of the door he saw his Donna Summer poster. "Hmmm, this'll have to go." And he began taking it down.
"Aw, do you have to take that with you?" Jason wailed.
"No, I'm not taking it with me. I'm tearing it up."
"What for? Don't do that! I like lookin' at it. If you ain't gonna take it, leave it there." Jason tried pulling Ted's hands away from the object of his desire.
"Look, it's mine so I decide what to do with it. You're too young anyway to be lookin' at women."
"Am not. I'm eleven years old now. Shit, I'll be shavin' soon!"
Ted laughed and reduced the poster to fragments. "Now where's my Playboy magazine?"
"I ain't tellin' yuh. You'll just rip it up like you done this."
"I’ll find it if I have to throw all your stuff over the room. And if I don't find it, I'll tell Mom you've got it and she'll give you a beatin' and probably tell Pastor Enright who'll give you another."
"All right," he reluctantly gave in, "it's in the desk drawer there."
"Thank you, " Ted responded cheerfully, retrieved the worldly object, and tore it into bits.
"Well, I'm off. You two kids be good now. Don't give your mother any trouble. And remember what your brother did. When you get a little older you'll see it was the right thing and you'll do the same if you're right-hearted. I only hope there's enough time."
"You goin' away forever?" Patrick asked with wide-eyed wonder.
"No, you'll see me around once in awhile. It's just now you'll have this room all to yourselves."
"Till Benjamin gets a little older, then they'll move him in here." Jason lamented.
"Yeah, but you can have my bed now, if you want it." Ted knew how much Jason wanted his bed to get out from underneath Patrick. It was more than enough compensation for the loss of a big brother.
"Well, you guys be good now. Don't forget your big brother--" he broke off and left the room hurriedly, afraid of crying before them.
As he went down the stairs and into the living room, he heard his mother in the kitchen, She had to know he was there, but chose to ignore him. So he left a note atop a Truth Book for her and placed it on the end table by the door:
"Dear Mom, There is no greater gift that I can give you than the Truth. At least read what your son believes in with an open mind. Love, Teddy."
Walking laboriously past the neighboring houses with the stuffed suitcase banging against his leg, Ted marveled at what a dead, ghastly aspect these giant "faces" wore. All of their inhabitants ignorant of the Truth, just waiting to die with only false and stupid hopes. The thought might have caused a more seasoned thinker to feel pity, but Ted could only sneer.
"Hey Teddy, my man," Paul Huberman called out from across the street as he emerged from his porch, I gotta talk to you, man. I got a business proposition or two for you." He ran across the street and took the suitcase. Walking along beside Ted he explained his scheme; "Look, Ted, I hear you got kicked outta the house an' you got a place to stay already. Now, I got a job an' you don't. But you got a place of your own an' I don't. So let's scratch each other's back, you know? Ain't that what friends are for?"
"Friends don't suddenly emerge and help you with some trifle," Ted answered sternly as he yanked the suitcase out of Paul's grip, "just because they want a favor. Nor do friends go around telling lies and making trouble for each other."
"Hey, man, what you talking 'bout?"
"What did you say to my old man about going out in service yesterday? Whatever it was, it's what led to him kicking me out. So don't talk about friendship to me."
"Oh, listen, man. I didn't say nothin' but what happened. I said I tagged along to see what it was like, and how you got doors slammed in your face and people yelled at you an' stuff. I didn't bad-mouth you or nothin'. I just told the truth. Isn't that what you're so hepped up about anyway--the truth?"
"All right," Ted sighed, "what exactly do you want?"
"I wanna move in with you. I'm tired of livin' with my folks. It's time I was on my own in my own pad, you know? And you need a roommate to pay half the rent since you ain't got no job yet. Whadda yuh say?"
"I like the part about you paying half the rent, that's true. But we might get on each other's nerves. There's only one bed--you'd have to take the sofa."
"No way, man, But listen, that’ll work out too 'cause I'm workin' nights now. I got me a job at Broadway Bookstore on the graveyard shift. I'll bet you could get a job there, too. People are always comin' an' goin'. Hell, they don't hardly ask your name, much less your age or education. And they pay in cash--no income taxes! It's clear money."
"That's a pornographic place, isn't it?"
"Yeah, man. So what's the big deal about that? It's just a job."
Ted shook his head in disgust.
"Look, man, if I didn't do it, they'd just get someone else to sell their magazines an' stuff to the people. I'd be out on the street with no money an' someone else'd be gettin' it all. So don't think I'm spreading dirty books around; I'm just working, that's all."
"Well, I could never take a job like that," Ted said self-righteously, "and you'd have to promise to not bring any of that stuff home if you were to live with me. And you'd have to pay your share of the rent on time before it's due every month."
"Okay man, shake; it's a deal!"
At this they parted. It was agreed that Paul wouldn't move in until the beginning of the following month (June). The ensuing week would give Ted time to get a job and Paul time to pack and/or sell his mountains of worldly goods.
Ted returned to his tentative apartment and began placing his clothes in the many spacious drawers and long closet of the bedroom.
As he did so, he heard four car doors slam, so he went to the window to see who had arrived. It was Richard and his three kids who went to the rear end of the car. Richard opened the trunk and started handling out various parcels, cases, boxes, and objects to the kids who carried them onto the porch. He decided he should offer his help in this operation but he hesitated for a moment, shy to meet them all at once, even though the flurry of activity would divert their attention from him and make it easier for him to meet them. But before he could make a move, Richard reached up and closed the trunk.
About half an hour passed before there was a knock on Ted's door. It was Richard asking him to come down and meet his kids and have dinner with them.
"You sure don't need yet another mouth to feed," Ted protested.
"Sure we do. The more the merrier! Besides, I've got something important to ask you after dinner. C'mon now, don't be so bashful."
Ted followed Richard downstairs. He met Bobby first, who was seated politely on the couch looking through an automotive magazine. He was a slightly chubby boy of ten years of age. With short, neatly combed hair, and beady eyes, he only remotely resembled his father.
"Bobby, this is our upstairs neighbor and new brother, Ted Evanston."
"Pleased to meet you," the boy said without a trace of a smile as he stood to shake hands.
"And, Ted," Richard continued in the customarily redundant way of introductions, "this is my oldest boy, Bobby."
"I'm glad to know you," Ted smiled, although, of course, he didn't know him, "I'm sure you'll be very happy here."
"C'mon," Richard urged, guiding Ted by the shoulder, "I'll show you Joey." They walked into Jeanie's bedroom where, true to report, the little boy was busily engaged in the even distribution of a host of stuffed animals over the bed.
"Hi Ted," Jeannie gleefully greeted, "meet my new brother Joey. Isn't he funny?"
"Hi," the cute little eight-year-old said without breaking his evident concentration from the work at hand. He was smaller than Jeannie though two years her senior. He was quite thin with a long, rather gaunt face. His hair was almost humorously short, sticking up like half-inch long bristles. More unusual was the blond color.
"His mother must've been a blonde," Ted remarked without thinking.
"Yes, she is," Richard responded, and quickly added, "but enough about her, if you please."
They walked into the kitchen where his daughter was with Vonnie. They seemed to be hitting it off well enough as they peered together into a cookbook. "Sherri, I'd like you to meet Ted Evanston. He lives upstairs and will be going with us to meetings, so you'd better get used to him." At this Richard laughed.
Ted smiled, "I wish you wouldn't tell everyone that I live upstairs since it isn't official yet . "
"Never mind that," Richard quickly brushed the matter aside, "let's go in the bedroom. I want to show you something I found in the encyclopedia."
It hadn't escaped anyone's notice that he had allowed not a word to pass between Sherri and Ted. As they made their way into the bedroom, Ted wondered about this. Sherri was a girl of 12 years, with straight brown hair to her shoulders. Her face was nicely freckled, though her eyes were rather dull. Her figure was developing rapidly, one could tell, though she still retained a good deal of baby fat. Dressed in something other than the sweatshirt and jeans she was wearing, he imagined she'd be a very attractive girl for her age, and that was probably why Richard cut their meeting so short. Her age wasn't that far from Ted's: only about four years.
He blotted the girl from his mind as Richard began speaking to him as they sat together on the edge of the bed.
"Wondering how I got custody of my kids all of a sudden?"
"I take it that it's not ‘all of a sudden’. You've been working on it for years, haven't you?"
"Yeah, that's for sure. I thought I'd get them way back when I married Vonnie because my ex-wife never remarried. But she got around it by charging that we wouldn't take proper medical care of them because we'd refuse them blood transfusions."
"So what's changed now? You still won't give them blood transfusions, will you?"
"Not hardly. But June likes to have men come and stay overnight now and then--but mostly now rather than then--and they don't like to do that when they see a house full of kids. So they were starting to cramp her style, she says. Actually, they've been cramping her style all these years; she's just been holding on to them to spite me. But, anyway, now we have three new Witnesses in our congregation!"
"Have you studied with them at all before?" Ted asked.
"Not really studied so much, no. But we've talked to them about it and taken them to meetings when we've had 'em for a week or so. But now we can have big family Bible studies all the time. In fact, we're gonna study for tomorrow night's book-study meeting tonight after supper, and we'd like you to come, too."
"I'd be glad to."
"Well, then, let's go eat."
"Aren't you forgetting something?"
"What's that?"
"You were going to show me something in the encyclopedia."
"Oh, I just said that so they wouldn't think we were talking about them. But I suppose you don't want me to be a liar--" He took a volume entitled The Encyclopedia of Religion from his shelf. He turned it to the headings ‘Russell, Charles Taze,’ and on the same page, ‘Russellism,’ "Here, read this. It's rather amusing."
Ted read it over with care, picking out the parts that sounded right as well as those that didn't: "’Russell, born 1852, died 1916… invisible second coming of Christ occurred in 1874… an international revolution of the working classes, bringing the world to chaos. After this would occur the resurrection of the dead, a last judgment taking 1,000 years, and the final establishment of the Messianic Kingdom on earth… those willfully rebellious will be cut off after 1000 years through death by electric shock… stresses systematic sale of literature… subject to frequent arrests selling without licenses, refusal to recognize draft summons, refusal to permit vaccination, and failure to salute the flag.’
"Some of it's accurate, and some of it's hogwash," Ted concluded.
"No, it all seems fairly accurate," Richard corrected, "but it's so old; we don't believe half that stuff anymore. The light sure has gotten brighter since then."
"Yeah, but I mean the way they put it is strange. They pick out one little thing and exaggerate it. I imagine Russell said that those who sinned in the millennium would be destroyed somehow, perhaps by electric shock, and here they state it in a synopsis of our beliefs as if it were dogma. And it says vaccination instead of blood transfusion. That's really going some; we never refused vaccination, only blood. It's a good thing we're out there door to door to let the people know the Truth instead of these lies Christendom prints."
"Actually, I hate to tell you this," Richard said, "but they're right on that point, too. At one time, I believe it was in the days of Rutherford, Russell's successor as president of the Society--"
"Yes, I know the history; Russell, Rutherford, Knorr, Franz."
"Yeah, well, back then they thought there might be blood--animal blood--in vaccinations, so they didn't take any. It caused quite a problem for school kids who had to be vaccinated before they'd be allowed to attend school--but that's all straightened out now."
Feeling satisfied that he'd been further enlightened in the way of the Truth, Ted accompanied Richard back into the kitchen where the table had been set.
They all joined hands and bowed their heads as Richard asked Jehovah's blessing on the food. Ted always had a problem of letting his mind wander during a prayer. He found it difficult to concentrate on another person's conversation with God even when that person was acting as his surrogate. So he joined in with the prayer in spirit, and thought of other things. He was glad that Jeannie and Joey were seated on either side of him; what confusion to his heart if it had been Vonnie and Sherri whose hands he had to hold.
"Our heavenly Father, Jehovah, we ask now that you bless this food that has been so lovingly prepared…" Just what did that mean, "bless this food"? Was it to make it taste better? Give it added nutrition? Was unblessed food less nutritious? Was it to remove any poisons or harmful dirt from the food? As Ted exhausted the possibilities, and as he began wondering why "thanks" weren't substituted for "blessing," he heard Richard come to the end: "and we ask all these things in the name of your Son, Jesus Christ. Amen."
"Amen." the voices around the table echoed. The hands were freed and busied themselves with the feeding of the mouths.
Following the dinner, Richard went upstairs with Ted while Vonnie and Sherri washed the dishes. There he laid on him the important question he'd promised to ask: "I'll bet you could afford this place real easy if the rent was cut in half. I've got an idea in which it would be."
"Tell me more, and then I've got something to tell you."
"What? You tell me first." Richard smiled nervously.
"First of all, I've already decided to take it."
"Well, welcome to your new home, neighbor!" They shook hands.
"And, secondly, the rent's already cut in half in a way, because I've found a roommate."
"Oh. There goes my idea down the drain. I was thinking of having Bobby and Joey sleep up here and paying half the rent for you."
"Hmmm--maybe you still can. Paul, my roommate, works nights so he'll only be sleeping here during the day. So if you just wanted Bobby and Joey to sleep up here at night, there'd be no problem; Paul would be at work. But where would they sleep, anyway?"
Richard brightened up considerably and answered, "That's all right. I mean it's already taken care of. I'm having their bunk beds moved over here yet tonight by one of June's neighbors. Let's see--" he walked into the bedroom and sized up the windowed wall, "yeah, it'll fit right here along the wall. And they can lay in bed and look out at the stars and 'contemplate Jehovah's wondrous handiwork'. And I'll pay a third of the rent. You two can pay the other two-thirds plus your electric bill. How's that?"
"Let's see, how much would that be? I never was good in math."
"Well, it's $150 a month, divided by three; that's only $50 apiece!"
"I think you've got yourself a deal." They shook hands yet again, embarrassed to so abuse a friendly gesture through constant repetition. They returned downstairs and got a half dozen copies of the same study-book from the shelves in the bedroom. These, together with a few Bibles, were dealt onto the just-cleared kitchen table.
"C'mon everybody, Richard called, "it's time for our family Bible study. We've gotta get ready for tomorrow night's meeting."
"But Real People is just gonna start!" Bobby wailed. He had, in fact, just turned the TV on and it was still in the process of warming up.
"What's the matter with you," Richard laughed, "can't you read the sign? We've got to think on better things than television."
"Well, just so we're done in time for Charlie's Angels in another hour. " Bobby flicked off the set and took slow steps, weighted down with sorrow, towards the table.
"Charlie's Angels! We might get done in time, but even so, you're not gonna watch that show! Charlie's Angels, can you believe that?" he asked Ted, still laughing. Ted just shook his head slightly.
They had all gathered around the table once again, this time for spiritual food.
Richard said the prayer to ask Jehovah's blessing on the meeting, and they began.
After everyone had turned to the proper page of their books, Richard read the first paragraph and then asked the question at the bottom of the page corresponding to that paragraph. Jeannie raised her hand and he called on her. Her answer was correct, but lacked something, Ted thought. So he raised his hand, thinking to add something to it. "Well, that pretty well covers that paragraph," Richard said, "Ted, you wanna read the next one?"
Ted felt foolish for having raised his hand; it would've been discouraging to Jeannie to think her answer was incomplete, he guessed. After he read the paragraph, Vonnie raised her hand and answered. Richard added to it, and then said, "Bobby, you wanna read the next paragraph?" There was a long pause.
"I don't know where we are," he confessed at last.
"Haven't you been following along?" Richard asked sternly. A very long silence followed. Ted was beginning to wonder if he shouldn't point to the paragraph in Bobby's book for him. He began to do so when Richard stopped him. "No, don't show him. I want him to admit first that he wasn't paying attention.
"I wasn't paying attention," he finally said with resignation.
"You look up at me and say that again in a different tone of voice," Richard demanded.
"What tone of voice?" he asked in natural wonderment.
"Listen," Richard yelled as he reached across the table and grabbed Bobby's shoulder tightly, "don't try to get smart with me. Now you say you're sorry for not paying attention and for disturbing the whole flow of this meeting. You say it like you mean it without looking down at the floor. And you say 'sir' to me," This last demand seemed to be going some. It almost seemed that, once he had a taste of parental power, he became drunk on it and began raging like a man possessed. But this only "seemed" so in contrast to its context: a peaceful meeting to learn the ways of the Truth. In any case, Bobby gulped and said all that was required of him, though he was so badly frightened that he sobbed all through it and the paragraph he was then made to read.
When Richard asked the next question, Ted's and Jeannie's hands shot up in competition for answering. Richard hesitated, and there was a frozen moment in which everyone hoped that he'd call on either one of them and not notice the fact that Sherri, Joey, and Bobby had not answered a question yet or even so much as raised their hands. "Put your hands down," he began with a slight gesture of command, never taking his eyes off his three "new" kids. "Now what's the matter with you three?"
"There's nothin' the matter with us." Sherri said. It was, in fact, the first time Ted had heard her speak, She handled words rather clumsily, with accidental emphasis on the word "us". Though she perhaps didn't mean to imply that something was wrong with the rest of them, that's how it came out. Joey started to laugh at this, and that started Sherri laughing too.
Richard stood up so fast that his wooden chair went skidding back across the linoleum and toppled over with a loud crash. Fire was in his eyes as he unbuckled and removed his belt. What happened next no one could quite believe. He doubled the belt and swung it at Sherri, hitting her on the left shoulder and neck.
"Ow!" she screamed, holding her stinging flesh, "that hurts!" She said it as if it were a moral condemnation of him, as if it were unethical for a father to cause a disobedient child to hurt. This infuriated him all the more. His newfound power--or rather, his power that had found three new subjects--was not to be questioned so lightly. He hit her again, the leather slapping at the back of her hand covering her shoulder with a wicked snap.
"I'll make it hurt more! You think it's funny? Who told you you could laugh?"
Little Joey was laughing harder and harder until it seemed he would burst at the sight of his sister getting a beating. Their mother had never beat them, and so he couldn't accurately associate pain with the action and feel sympathy; it just looked funny to him. Richard soon rectified this situation, teaching him pain with his belt. Joey started bawling loudly, which caused both Sherri and Bobby to burst out laughing. This resulted in utter pandemonium. Bobby's laugh was a high-pitched trickle that could only be compared to a cross between a thin stream meeting melodiously with rocks and a horse's whinnying. It was the most ridiculous sound Ted had ever heard; he bit his tongue hard to keep from losing control. Jeannie lacked such control and broke out giggling in a joyful way. Richard was a man losing control of his subjects; the more he beat them the more laughter emerged in seeming defiance (for in such a rage it is natural to misread all words and actions as directed against the authority). He cut it off at its root by striking Bobby again and again. Bobby put his arms up to absorb the blows, and crouched ever closer to the table, until at last he was reduced to a little sobbing mass of arms and shoulders, hiding his head somewhere on the edge of the table.
"Now will it stop?" Richard called in his sublime anger. He expected horrified silence to answer his question, and for a moment it did. But then Vonnie made her voice heard with astonishing authority, with the feelings of a mother, feelings that at once transcended all Richard's power (although feeling of any kind would suffice to get the better of beaten-submission).
"Leave your children alone, for God's sake! All they did was laugh!" She was cut short by the belt hitting her in the face. She gave a gasp and held her cheek.
"Don't tell me what to do, woman!" He emphasized the word "woman" so as to remind her of her inferiority. But for some inexplicable reason, instead of getting up and running to the bedroom in tears, as Ted fully expected her to do, Vonnie began laughing. And this, once again, sent everyone into fits of laughter.
He lashed out at the table like Moses did with the rock, but the hysteria continued unabated.
"You can laugh," Vonnie said to Ted, "he won't hit you." This in itself struck Ted as incredibly funny. That she could, in this insane situation, make such a witty remark and at the same time show her understanding of his desire to laugh along with the rest of them, seemed not only remarkable but amusing in an surreal way. He could hold it back no longer and joined in hearty laughter.
Laugher is an odd symptom of no one emotion, and Ted's sprung from a source different than all the others. It wasn't like the defiance of Vonnie's. It wasn't like the terror of Bobby's nerve-straining squeal. It wasn't like Sherri and Joey's sense of the ridiculous, not like Jeannie's joining in. It was at once more elusive and complex than any of these, because he had to tell himself that what was happening was right and just: that Richard was acting as God's avenging minister by training his kids upright with the belt. Because of this, it was to him a divine comedy.
Vonnie, still chuckling (though now it seemed rather forced), pointed out Ted to Richard. "Look, Richard: even Ted's laughing now!"
Richard didn't look. He couldn't take it if his Bible Study showed him lack of respect. Sensing this, Ted made a super-human effort to pull himself together.
There was a knock on the door which seemed to hammer all mouths shut until quiet was restored. It was the man with the bunk beds. The Bible study was abandoned as the men moved the ungainly piece of furniture upstairs.
Soon the house eased into repose. Ted gazed dully at the familiar sight of two boys in bunk beds before him. From what, in fact, had he escaped? The only thing that had changed was the fact that these shadowy figures inhabiting his night were not his brothers. Hopefully they would become his spiritual brothers -- they certainly were not such now. Their conduct tonight had proven that, he thought to himself. His own conduct was not admirable, but he had maintained control longer than anyone else, including Vonnie, and this was a great comfort to him. He felt sleepy and began to pray as he lay flat on his back.
As usual his mind started wandering. But when he prayed by himself like this, he felt his mind wasn't really wandering at all; Jehovah was directing it. Whenever he had a problem or a question, Scriptures and Bible principles came floating into his mind from nowhere (or as he would say, "from Jehovah") which answered his needs completely. Prayer for him, then, was a two-way communication with Jehovah. After a few introductory words from himself, he would quiet his mind and let God do the talking. "After all," he reasoned, "God knows what I need and what I'm gonna say. He doesn't need to listen to me; I need to listen to him." This remained a very private matter that he never discussed with anyone, as it seemed rather unorthodox. Into his thoughts tonight came the Scriptures he had read, but forgotten, concerning children and wives: "The one holding back his rod is hating his son… Foolishness is tied up with the heart of a boy; the rod of discipline is what will remove it far from him… Do not hold back discipline from a mere boy. In case you beat him with the rod, he will not die… A husband is head of his wife. Let wives be in subjection to their husbands in everything. Let a woman learn in silence with full submissiveness. " (Proverbs 13:24; 22:15; 23:13; Ephesians 5:22-24; 1 Timothy 2:11) Ted sighed and felt immeasurably refreshed. He thanked Jehovah in Jesus' name for the insight, and promptly fell asleep.
Meanwhile, Richard was tossing and turning on the sofa downstairs. Sherri was sleeping in the bed with Vonnie. Only Jeannie retained her little world undisturbed for the time being. June wouldn't sell Sherri's bed to Richard without making him buy the rest of the bedroom set -- which would never fit in Jeannie's room. So this arrangement would have to do until he managed to buy a new bed for Sherri and squeeze it into Jeannie's room. But these thoughts soon gave way to the problems of discipline. He realized that everyone was distraught that night, what with being in a new environment and all. After all, they were just kids. But what was inexcusable was his wife's behavior. (He did not consider Ted at all.) He was glad he wasn't sleeping with Vonnie tonight; he hadn't the strength for further argument and aggravation.
She was a good woman, though, he knew. And tomorrow she'd coach the kids all by herself into giving an answer apiece at the upcoming meeting, just like she used to do with Jeannie. Then she and Sherri would spend the day baking something to serve after the meeting to all those who stayed awhile in their humble house. He imagined where they'd all sit in his living room, how many brothers would be sitting right where he was now laying.
Then he got down on his knees (a habit from childhood he held on to after becoming a Witness) and prayed fervently for Jehovah to send him an "extra portion of his spirit" to meet the challenge of bringing his children into the spiritual paradise where pain would be no more.
The next morning Ted was awakened by the all-too-familiar sound of feet hitting the floor from a height of four feet. After this grand dive Joey ran to the bathroom. Bobby stirred and Ted greeted him with a cheery "Good Morning. Did you sleep well?"
"Morning. As well as can be expected, I guess. Did you hear Joey snoring last night?" Bobby asked. Ted shook his head, not wanting to verbalize a lie. "God, it was awful! How could you sleep through it?"
"Bobby, I know we're gonna get along just fine, and t don't want to give you the idea that I'm gonna criticize you all the time--"
"Go ahead. Everybody else does."
"No, it's just that I wish you wouldn't say 'God' like that. I mean you could say 'boy' or 'wow' or anything like that, but it's not right to use 'God' as an exclamation"
"Okay, I'm sorry."
"That's all right. Well, let's get up and get us some breakfast. We've got a whole day ahead of us to praise Jehovah." This exuberance in the morning was actually foreign to Ted, but he was trying his best to ease the boy into his new life. Being so young himself, he should have remembered how easily children see through all pretense and how they instinctively loathe it. But Bobby forgave him, knowing his intentions were good.
That day went as foretold by Richard for Vonnie and the kids. They were each instructed as to which questions they were to answer that night. And later, had Ted been upstairs, he would have smelled the brownies baking in the oven.
But Ted wasn't home. He managed to get himself a job that day. It was a sweaty, dirty, low-paying job among grubby individuals whom one would rather not have the displeasure of seeing at a distance, much less working beside, but it was a job nonetheless.
After the meeting that night everyone was feeling in good spirits.
Things had gone well at the meeting; all Richard's kids gave an answer and behaved themselves. The little group had admirably covered the required number of pages in the study-book. They weren't about to fall behind like several of the other groups that were meeting at the same time at the hall and in other brothers' houses. Now they sat around engaging in small talk and snacking on brownies.
"Brother Evanston," Dave Nelson intoned in the same authoritative voice that he used for conducting the meeting in his eldership role, "now that you're on your own, how do you propose to live? I understand you're living in the apartment upstairs without having made any arrangement with the landlady. Is this true?"
No one spoke when Brother Nelson spoke in this tone. It made Ted feel as if he was up for judgment by them all, with Dave Nelson as his accuser. "No, I haven't been able to make arrangements yet. But, then, I haven't had time. I was kicked out of my home, you know. It wasn't my own decision so that I could've prepared these things ahead of time or anything like that." He realized after he had said this that he had spoken too sharply in his own defense. The repressed looks of shock all about him reinforced this realization.
Dave Nelson took a deep breath as if girding himself for a long fight with an unruly subject: "As I understand it, you've been here two days now without making any move towards contacting the landlady about renting the place. Isn't that slightly irresponsible? What have you been doing all this time?" He smiled pleasantly to ease the harshness of his words, but also from the enjoyment of their power. "But perhaps we should discuss this privately?"
"No, that's all right. I see the error of my ways." He looked down at the rug, his face flushed with embarrassment and shame. He was on the verge of tears, but fought them back. He swallowed hard and answered further, "Today I got a job though--"
"Oh, terrific!" Vonnie exclaimed, breaking the monopoly of Dave Nelson's speech.
Others took the hint and congratulated him enormously until he gave them further details. "It's just a daily labor place where they pay you $9 in cash at the end of the day and then pay you about $82 more in a check every week."
"What sort of work is it?" Martha Dorsey (Phyllis' mother) asked.
"Oh, they send you different places. Today I worked in a grain warehouse, I guess you'd call it, down by the eastside railroad tracks. I had to unload a truck of 100-pound sacks of wheat and cart them around. And then I ran a bagging-machine where the mixed or hulled grain poured out or something like that."
"That sounds like hard work," Martha sympathized with her excessive smile which was the archetype of her daughter's. She was such a sweet woman, always smiling and speaking encouraging words like sticky honey. She was almost sickeningly sweet like a frosting made with too much sugar. "But it's really good that you found anything at your age. See how Jehovah takes care of his young sheep?"
Bob Morrow and his father Jack were the last to add their comments on Ted’s big news. Jack Morrow seemed only to come to these meetings in order that there would be an even dozen members present. He never answered a question, and hardly said anything after the meetings either. But since the Garvias' family no longer attended this book-study (Dale had been made an elder and was assigned to conduct his own book-study) and since Ted had come into the Truth and started attending, along with the addition of Richard's three kids, Jack Morrow no longer served that numerical purpose. Now he made the number 13, and Ted half expected him to drop out on that account, so feeble did his participation in the joys of the Truth seem.
Interrupting all these thoughts and chattering was a knock on the door. Richard sprang to his feet and answered it. It was Brother Stokes; "Hello, brother. Is there a Brother Ted Evanston here? I've got something for him here."
Ted rose up, walked to the door and shook hands. The rest followed him with a knowing air. On the porch stood six grocery-bags filled with all manner of food, utensils, and even a few appliances (a toaster was immediately visible). He knew instantly what has happening. He felt as though he should have figured as much and was angry with himself for being so surprised.
"And here's a little something from all your brothers and sisters to help you out with your first rent payment," Jim Stokes said as he handed Ted an envelope fat with dollar bills of various denominations.
Ted took this wondering if it was etiquette to open it now or just hold onto it. He held it dumbly and looked at those about him, "I'm overwhelmed," he began to say, but his voice was drowned by Dave Nelson's.
"We'd like to add to that from our own book study group as well." He took out his billfold and took out a five. Then he took the envelope from Ted and stuck it in, As he did so he noticed a ten in there, so he took another five out of his wallet and stuffed it in. He was about to hand it back when Martha Dorsey grabbed it, and from her it was handed around to the others who likewise added to its contents.
Ted stood there watching all this and making a supreme effort to think of something to say. He wished he could cry right now, but he was too detached somehow. It was as if he was watching all this happen to someone else and didn't feel personally involved. He mustered up words which he hoped would be acceptable, "Brothers, sisters! What can I say? What've I done to deserve you?"
"Don't thank us," Richard replied, "thank Jehovah for bringing you into the Truth. That's a much greater gift than mere material goods."
Ted was prevented from having to thank them further as he was helped to carry the goods upstairs. Richard, he realized, must have been on the phone before the meeting arranging all this with the other study groups.
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Falling in Truth 
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Chapter 3: Falling in Love
"What with one roommate paying one-third of the rent and Richard paying another third for his kids to sleep in the apartment, I only have to work every other day." This was Ted's answer to Barbara Garvias' question as to how he could afford to pioneer with them every other day. By "them" she meant Mike Cranston, Eric Potter, Phyllis Dorsey, and herself. They all were striving for slightly less than 100 hours of field service a month ("pioneering"). They usually met in the mornings at the hall. Ted didn’t have a car, so Phyllis picked him up.
He recalled how only that morning they had shared deep feelings and meaningful looks. "I'm worried that I'm a 'fifth wheel', if you’ll pardon the expression," he had said to her, trying to sound sincere and witty at the same time without recognizing their mutual incompatibility, "now someone has to work alone all the time whereas before you four pioneers could work in pairs."
"You shouldn't feel that way, Ted, It's nice to work alone sometimes. Besides, Vonnie Johnson used to pioneer with us, you know. So you've just more or less taken her place," Phyllis replied.
"Oh, I don't think I could ever take her place. She's so proficient at the doors."
"You do real well at the doors. I think you place more than I do. And you're new in the Truth."
"Let's you and I work together all morning," Ted pleaded, "Don't let anyone else work with you; we make such a good team."
She looked at him and giggled, "That might look kind of funny, brother. They might get the wrong idea."
"It would be the right idea as far as I'm concerned." He was squeezing the edge of the dashboard in his right hand and forcing the words out from his heart with apparent effort.
An eternity passed until she finally replied as all women do, "We'll see." She smiled during the rest of the drive to the hall but nothing further was said.
"Ted? You-hoo! Brother Evanston ! " Barbara Garvias called him forth from his reverie.
"Yes, sister? I'm sorry, I was thinking up a presentation. I still get nervous at the doors, you know. What did you say?" This lie was to haunt him the rest of the day. But to confess that he was daydreaming, especially about a physical attraction, would have been too shameful. He instinctively chose what the "old man" felt was the lesser of the two evils and lied rather than subject himself to embarrassment.
"I still get nervous at doors too, Ted, so don't think you're the only one." This bit of encouragement came from Mike Cranston who was at the wheel, driving them all to the territory.
Phyllis added her advice too, "I always say a little prayer while I'm waiting for them to answer the door. That always seems to help."
"Thanks, I'll try that."
When everyone had their say, Barbara again asked what had fallen on deaf ears; "I was wondering how old you are now Ted, and if there wasn't some way we could get you a better job."
"As a matter of fact, I'm 17 today. This'll be the first birthday I won't celebrate." He was going to go on and explain how getting a better job would interfere with his pioneering, but he was interrupted by everyone congratulating him on his determination not to celebrate the pagan custom of birthdays.
"That's just great, Ted," Mike complimented, "You keep overcoming these little obstacles Satan puts in your path and that'll make the big obstacles easier to hurdle."
"You know, I had a lady ask me at the door the other day why we don't celebrate birthdays," Eric related, "and the funny thing was she already agreed that it was wrong to celebrate Christmas. She knew it was all too commercialized and that Christmas trees and gifts and everything had pagan origins. She said she read it in a magazine somewhere -- it wasn't the Watchtower, though. So, anyway, I told her, 'look, if we don't celebrate the Son of God's birthday, we're certainly not going to celebrate our own!'"
Sighs of admiration went up from all in the car for this bit of brilliance, and Eric continued, 'Now I thought that was brilliant, but she says she doesn't see the connection because we know our birthday and we don't have pagan trees or things like that. So then I just fell back on the old argument that the only place in the Bible where birthdays are mentioned is when Pharaoh hung his baker and when Herod beheaded John the Baptist. So it shows that only pagans celebrated their birthdays, and that each time a murder was committed."
"What did she say then?" Phyllis asked.
"Well, she said that maybe others celebrated their birthdays and the Bible just didn't record them because nothing special happened, and as long as we didn't murder anybody it'd be all right."
"Sounds like a hard case," Mike sympathized, "but wasn't Herod a Jew? I wonder if it's correct to call him a pagan."
This question produced a scramble for reference books wrestled from book-bags. Barbara turned to her Make Sure of All Things, Hold Fast to What is Fine book and Eric to his massive Aid to Bible Under-standing book.
Eric was the first to find the information; "Okay, here under 'Herod' it says he 'was nominally a Jew and professedly under the law.' That's why John the Baptist was justified in condemning his actions as against the Mosaic Law."
"But wait a minute," Barbara countered, "Here under 'Holidays' under the subheading 'Birthdays' it says 'Scriptures mention observance only by pagans' and then it quotes the Scripture about Herod's birthday. So according to this he was a pagan."
There was a moment of embarrassed silence broken by Mike, "There must be new light coming out on that, I guess. We'll just have to wait for it."
"But till then," Ted ventured to ask, "are we to think of Herod as a Jew or a pagan? Or shouldn't we think of him at all?"
"He was a pagan Jew," Eric offered, and everyone fell silent until the territory was reached.
It was Mike Cranston, being a ministerial servant, who had the responsibility of assigning how the territory would be worked. He offered to start out working by himself down one side of the street, and suggested that the others work house-over-house. "Now who wants to work with who?"
Usually there followed an awkward moment when this question was asked as no one wanted to show a preference. But Ted wasted no time, "I'd like to work with Phyllis."
At their first house Ted and Phyllis were invited in by an elderly man whose flabby face looked out of place on his thin frame. He had them sit while he remained standing. As Ted began explaining the wonders of the New Order, the man reached behind a table-lamp and took out a thick black Bible.
"Oh, I'm glad to see you've got your Bible. Perhaps you'd like to look up a few Scriptures with us," Ted remarked.
Without acknowledging the remark, the man held the Bible up to the ceiling in his right hand while he stationed his left hand above their heads with his fingers spread wide and trembling slightly. It reminded Ted of Frankenstein's monster: arm fully extended, groping for its victim, but aiming too high.
"Almighty Lord Jesus Christ," he began, his voice trembling more than his hand, "I ask Thee in the name of Thy redeeming blood to open their eyes that they may come unto the foot of Thy cross and rest their faith in Thee. That Thou mayest open their hearts to receive Thee--" By this time Ted and Phyllis had made their hasty retreat from the "fanatic's" house.
"Don't you just hate that," Ted said, slightly shook up from the experience, "when they won't sit down and reason with you."
"They're so blinded by their religion they can't abide hearing anything about the Truth," she agreed with disgust, "so they drive it away from them without ever knowing what they're missing."
At the next door was a fairly young woman who listened to Phyllis' entire presentation and bought the Awake magazine. When asked if they might return, she replied, "No that’s all right. Why don't you two get out and enjoy the nice weather instead? It's a nice day to be out on the beach. Young people like you should take advantage and live your life while you've still got your health."
"Well, the Bible commands us to go forth and make disciples of people for God's Kingdom," Ted informed her.
"Yes, and you're just following the Lord's command, I know. But you've got to draw the line somewhere; you can only do so much. Why don't you just finish this block and then take it easy. You owe it to yourselves, you know."
"Well, thank you. We'll think about it." Phyllis said. They said their good-byes and their have-a-nice-days (as the custom was then) and walked to their next house.
"They just don't understand the urgency of our message," Phyllis remarked.
"I guess not. But she's got me thinking,"
"Of what?" she asked.
"How you would look in a bikini."
"Oh, no!" she blushed, holding her hands over her face and nearly collapsing with laughter. She grabbed his arm to steady herself as they beheld a man in his late fifties making his way around the side of his house, rake in hand.
"Good morning, Sir. You're hard at work today, I see," Ted greeted.
"Yeah. It figures out to be a fine day for cleanin' up the yard."
These pleasantries exchanged, Ted introduced himself and Phyllis and got down to his presentation. But as soon as it became clear that his topic was religious, the man excused himself. "That's good. That's real fine for you young folks. But I'm far out from all that."
"But aren't you interested in a new world of peace and joy?"
"Yeah, that's fine. But I'm far out. That's for you young people to look forward to. Go talk to some of these other young people around here. But not for me; I'm too far out I tell you."
Eric and Barbara were talking at the corner house, so Ted and Phyllis crossed the street to start the next block. When they had put enough distance between themselves and their last householder, they burst out laughing: "I never before heard an old man describe himself as ‘far out’!"
There was no one home at their next house so they laughed themselves out before continuing.
"What’ll people say if they see us standing here laughing like a couple of fools?" Phyllis wondered.
"They'll see what a happy people Jehovah's Witnesses are."
They walked to the third house from the corner where there was likewise no one at home. "We might as well have gone to the beach, sister, for all the success we're having today. Yes, I still say that's a sight I'd like to see."
"Oh stop," she scolded good-naturedly, "the Society says we shouldn't wear bikinis anyway. We're supposed to wear one-piece, modest bathing suits. Besides, I'd look funny in a bikini. I'm not shaped right,"
"I never heard that before," he said with disappointment, "how do they expect you to get a tan that way? Besides, I think you'd look beautiful in a bikini."
"I'm too big," she said, her eyes staring straight ahead, not daring to meet his when discussing such a personal subject, "I'd hardly be contained in one. I'd bounce around so much that I might become exposed." At this she gave a slight sly smile as if secretly proud of the difficulties inherent in her opulent breasts, difficulties that set her apart from most girls.
He decided the conversation had gone too far. He hoped for something to end it without slamming it down so purposely that it might not be opened again in the happy future. Auspiciously, this desire was implemented by finding the next householder at home. It was a tall young woman whom Phyllis spoke to.
"Yeah, well my roommate in college was a Jehovah's Witness and she told me all about it. But thanks for stopping."
Ted wasn't about to let her off so easily. "Could you tell me what you thought of what your roommate told you about the New Order?"
"Well, I just don't believe that way, okay?"
"Yes, you're entitled to your beliefs, he agreed, "but didn't she show you what she believed from the Bible?"
"Yes."
"And don't you believe in the Bible?"
"Sure."
"Then what's your basis for not believing in what she said?"
The girl looked heavenward and shook her head. "Never argue with a Jehovah's Witness." Then she looked behind the door and called to her mother who changed places with her.
"We're Bible-believin' Christians!" her mother pronounced with her fist raised in the air to show the strength of her position.
Ted acted totally unimpressed and, being on a roll, came back with, "That's good; our message is especially for Christians who already believe in the Bible. Otherwise we first have to convince people of the Bible's validity." He smiled as he paused to give the woman a chance to reply. He knew that the reply would probably be unfavorable, but he figured it was better than a nonverbal demonstration of her feelings such as slamming the door.
"Well our own church tells us all we need to know. Why don't you people go to non-Christians who need the Word brought to them? Your time's wasted on us."
"We are in over two-hundred lands." Phyllis broke in, "All over the world our brothers and sisters are bringing the news of God's Kingdom. We feel that here at home we need to contact persons such as you because the churches really aren't preaching about God's Kingdom. Has your church told you much about the Kingdom?"
"Oh sure. Our pastor doesn't miss much."
Phyllis continued unabated, "We find that although many people are praying for this kingdom in the Lord's Prayer when they say 'Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven,' they really don't realize that they are praying for God's Kingdom (already ruling in heaven) to extend it's reign over the whole earth and make it a place of peace and joy like heaven itself. And so most of the churches are offering their people a false heavenly hope when the majority of people will be living on a perfect earth. We'd like to talk to you all day about this, but no doubt you're busy. So perhaps we could leave this book with you; it's called The Truth That Leads to Eternal Life. It goes on to explain the prophecies pointing to this wonderful Kingdom soon to come."
"How much is it?"
"It's just a quarter to cover the cost of printing,"
She took the book and paid a quarter, but refused the offered return-visit as they expected she would.
The morning wore on and they all met back at the car around 11:30.
As they piled in, Mike took the wheel and asked if anyone had placed anything.
"We placed a book and a magazine," Ted boasted.
"I placed two books," Eric announced haughtily, "and Sister Garvias placed four sets of magazines."
"Well, sounds like a productive morning," Mike said, "I didn't place anything myself, but I think I might've started a Bible Study with a young fellow. Seemed real interested in the fact that we don't believe in hell,"
"Yeah, that usually gets 'em." Eric opined.
"We almost got exorcised," Ted blurted out in an effort to top them all (seeing as how his boasted placements had been so completely overshadowed.) Phyllis laughed heartily as she recalled the incident in her mind.
"You almost did what?" Barbara asked in astonishment.
"This old man, I guess he must've been almost sixty, a fanatic in any case--he stands over us with his Bible and prays -- not to God but to Jesus -- to open our eyes and surrender unto Jesus and stuff like that. All archaic, you know."
"Oh don't you just hate that," Barbara laughed, "when they think they have to speak in Old English to God or else he won't understand."
"As if Jehovah spoke like the King James Bible they use," Eric said with scorn.
When the others had related their experiences and contented quiet settled over them, Eric came up with his daily diversion, "Did you know," as these ancedotes or odd facts always began, "that the Bible mentions a siesta?"
"No, I never came across that," Mike chuckled.
"Well it does, let's see… it's right here in Second Samuel, chapter four, starting with verse five; 'And the sons of Rimmon, blah, blah, blah, proceeded to go and come to the house of Ishbosheth about when the day had heated up, as he was taking his noonday siesta.'" He paused for dramatic effect, "'And here they came into the middle of the house as men fetching wheat, and they struck him in the abdomen… When they went into the house, he way lying upon his couch in his inner bedroom, and they struck him so that they put him to death, after which they removed his head…'"
"That's really surprising," said Barbara, "you usually only associate siestas with Mexico. But evidently they took them back there in Israel too."
Ted was sitting in front and turned to Mike as he sought an authoritative agreement with his next statement, "So the Bible's against taking siestas then."
Mike glanced over at him and laughed. He continued laughing as he returned attention to the road. Then he looked back and saw that Ted was not sharing in his mirth. "My dad's like that--he can tell a joke with the utmost seriousness and not laugh." After saying this he expected Ted to give up his serious face and join in appreciation of his own joke. He didn't.
It was too fresh in Ted's mind-- this being his birthday-- that they had earlier that day condemned the celebration of birthdays because in the only two places that the Bible mentions them, murders were committed. Now that they had found the same case with a siesta, he naturally felt that the same rule would apply. He couldn't understand why Mike couldn't comprehend this seriously-meant conclusion.
"You were joking, weren't you?" Mike asked with a look of troubled concern. He realized, as did all the rest of the car-group, that the best way to dispose of the irritating argument was to write it off as a joke.
Finally Ted realized what was in their minds and forced himself to smile, "Yeah, just a joke."
They arrived back at the hall and dispersed to their various cars.
This was the time Ted had been looking forward to, when he'd again be alone with Phyllis as she drove him home. However, his wanting this so much and his desire to speak his heart to her was so overwhelming that they sat in silence all the way until she pulled up in front of the house.
"Well, here we are," she smiled and looked at him expectantly.
Her hair was shining golden in the sun, almost like a halo. The trees were casting shadows everywhere else but on her. "Jehovah's shining his spotlight on her," Ted thought, "like his finger is pointing her out to me that she's my destiny: my future happiness."
"I really enjoyed working with you today," she said, "are you going out this afternoon?"
"No, I have to work on my talk. It'll be my first one, you know."
"Oh, that'll be nice. Are you nervous?"
"Dreadfully. In fact, I was thinking -- uh -- it would help if I could have someone listen to it before I give it so they could give me their reaction."
"I'll listen to it for you," she readily volunteered.
"You will? Great! C'mon up. I’ll show you my apartment, too. You didn't see it before, did you?"
"Yes, I saw it when Richard and Vonnie first got married."
"I thought he moved downstairs as soon as they got married."
"No, they lived upstairs for a couple weeks till the end of that month."
"Oh well, that's neither here nor there -- as Richard's fond of saying. Will you come up and listen to my talk?"
"Can't you give your talk in the car? It isn't right for me to be in your apartment all alone."
"You won't be all alone; I'll be there,"
"That's what I mean."
"Don't be silly. I've been with Vonnie all alone in their place. She said that was all right."
"You have?" she asked with some alarm.
Now he was losing patience. She knew how hard it was for him to ask her up to his place, and she knew he had no ulterior motives -- at least no immediate ones. And yet she prolonged his agony and even cast aspersions on his former actions with Vonnie! He formulated the following sentence in his mind and was on the verge of spewing it forth: "Well, why don't you wait till the afternoon field service meeting at the Johnson's to come up. Then everybody'll be downstairs, and if I come at you they'll hear you scream." But he was thoroughly infatuated with her by now and couldn't risk such sarcasm severing the thread-like bond between them. It was only when their relationship grew into an iron cable that it could resist and even be strengthened by disagreement. That thread must grow to a string quickly lest a man go mad; so he gambled his all on a single throw: "Well, perhaps some other time then. I'll see you." So saying he gave her a very insignificant kiss; a touch of his lips to her pure white cheek. Without having the courage to face the consequences or the calmness to await her reaction, he bolted out of the car and flew up the steps to his apartment.
"Hey man, how's it goin'?" asked a sleepy-eyed Paul, still contained in his striped pajamas.
"Sorry, Did I wake you?"
"Naw, I just got up to go to the can. But now I think I'll stay up. So how's everything with you? I don't see you very much any more an' here we're livin' in the same pad."
"We keep such divergent hours and lifestyles. Have you gotten paid yet?"
"’Die-ver-jant’! Where'd you come up with a word like that? Can't you just say diff'rent like everybody else?"
"Just because everyone you know has a limited vocabulary, you needn't assume everyone in the world is like that, " Ted replied. "Now don't change the subject. I told you before you moved in that the rent gets paid before the first of the month. That means you're almost two weeks late. I paid your share for you, and now I want you to pay me back. It's only $50. You can afford that, can't you?"
"Hey man, don't get excited. I'll get it for you by Friday for sure. If not, I'll sell you somethin' like my camera or TV."
"Can't you pay it before then? Look, you're gonna have to start worrying about next month's rent right after that."
"Don't worry about it, man. But what are you doin' home already? Ain't this your day for goin' out in service all day?"
"Yeah, but today I've gotta stay home and work on a talk I have to give tomorrow night at the hall."
"You're gonna give a talk in front of all them Jehovah's? Too much!"
"You wanna come and see it? You're welcome, you know."
"I just might do that. What're you gonna talk to 'em about?"
"Well, how would you like to listen to what I've got so far? It only takes six minutes, and I'd really like to have someone hear it before I have to give it."
"Shoot."
"All right. Now you pretend you're a Witness listening to this, a person who appreciates spiritual things."
"Oh, man!" he exclaimed with a mixture of offense and impatience.
"Okay. I have to give a talk on the ‘River of Water of Life’ and the ‘Book of Life’. You've heard of how God's supposed to have a book in which he records all your sins or something like that, haven't you?"
"Is this your talk now, or are you asking me a question?"
"I'm asking you -- never mind." Squatting himself up to give the appearance of a double chin and bodily bulk, Ted draw'led in a very poor imitation of Dale Garvias, "And now we'll hear from Brother Evanston, whose theme is 'Partaking of Life's Water'-- Brother Evanston."
Changing back to himself, Ted rustled the notes in front of him, and after a quick glance at Paul to see if he was still paying attention, began. "Dead --" long pause, "That describes a sea in the Middle East, a sea so loaded with salt that no life dwells in it: the Dead Sea," This opening was a sure attention-getter, he felt.
Ted continued: "How odd, then, to behold this sea suddenly swarming with life and fishing villages set up along its banks. This, however, is exactly what the prophet Ezekiel saw in a vision that is recorded for us in the 47th chapter of his book. How did this miraculous transformation occur? It was from a river flowing into the sea and "healing" it. Not the Jordan, but a river of water of life. Tracing this life-giving river back to its source, we come directly to Jehovah's temple. Here it started as a mere trickle, and flowed, not directly from the Most Holy, but past the altar of sacrifice, then down through the Arabah to the Salt Sea. As it went, this trickle became a mighty torrent. But of what benefit is this vision for us today?"
"Yeah, what?" Paul enjoined, on the verge of boredom.
"Well, certainly we all enjoy life and want to keep living. So seeing that Jehovah is the source of this water of life, we would wisely go to Him in our quest for everlasting life. Just as Jeremiah chapter 2, verse 13 says, Jehovah is the source of living water. And it flows, not directly from Jehovah, but as in Ezekiel's vision, through his Mediator, the 'sacrificial lamb', Jesus Christ.
"We all know that water is essential to life, yet even so we still die. Jesus pointed this out in John the fourth chapter, if you'd like to turn there. That's John, chapter 4, verses 13 and 14." He paused to give his imagined audience time to locate the Scripture in their Bibles. "'In answer Jesus said to her: "Everyone drinking from this water will get thirsty again. Whoever drinks from the water that I will give him will become in him a fountain of water bubbling up to impart everlasting life."'
"If we turn now to Revelation the twenty-second chapter, and starting in verse one, we'll read of the Apostle John's description of this water which imparts everlasting life; 'And he showed me a river of water of life, clear as crystal, flowing out from the throne of God and of the Lamb down the middle of its broad way. And on this side of the river and on that side there were trees of life producing twelve crops of fruit, yielding their fruits each month. And the leaves of the trees were for the curing of the nations.'
"Looking across the page to chapter 21, verse 4, we can see the benefits this river will bring; 'And he will wipe out every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore. The former things have passed away.'
"To comply with Ezekiel's vision, this life-giving water will be only ankle-deep at first to meet the demand of the relatively few survivors of Armageddon. But then as the first ones are resurrected, it will become knee-deep. And it will continue to expand to a mighty torrent as all are resurrected.
"How, though, might we survive Armageddon and drink of this wonderful water? Well, by taking in water of truth now," at this he held up his Bible, "and inviting others to do likewise, just as we read in Revelation chapter 22, verse 17. That's on the last page of your Bible proper, just before the index. 'And the spirit and the bride keep on saying: "Come!" And let anyone hearing say: "Come!" And let anyone thirsting come; let anyone that wishes take life's water free,'
"Doing this and obeying God's commandments, we can get our names in the book or scroll of life, thus granting us the privilege of drinking life's water. This requires putting Kingdom interests first in our lives and trusting in Jehovah, not men or political organizations. For we read in Revelation chapter 3, verse 8, 'And all those who dwell on the earth will worship it;' (the Wild Beast, that is) 'the name of not one of them stands written in the scroll of life of the Lamb who was slaughtered, from the founding of the world.'
"This does not indicate predestination on God's part, for in Revelation chapter 3, verse 5 Jesus speaks of blotting out names from the book of life. And Moses spoke of being wiped out from the book. But from the 'founding of the world' Jehovah had determined that no worshippers of the Wild Beast would get their names written in the Book of Life.
"The reference to the scroll of the Lamb would indicate that there are two distinct scrolls. In Jehovah's Scroll of Life are written all who should gain everlasting life. Whereas in the Lamb Jesus Christ's scroll only 144,000 names are listed. These are the names of those anointed to heavenly life as joint heirs with Christ.
"So it appears that only when a person becomes a servant of Jehovah is his name written in the book of life, and only if he continues faithful is his name retained therein.
"After the upcoming thousand-year-judgment-day, those who remain loyal to Jehovah through Satan's testing of them will be granted ever-lasting life. Thus they will continue drinking of the symbolic river of water of life, and will have their names indelibly inscribed in the book of life. But, as we read in Revelation chapter 20, verse 15, 'whoever was not found written in the book of life was hurled into the lake of fire.'
"We would do well to ask ourselves then, 'Am I now in that book, and if so, can I stay there?' The answer is Yes if we continue to accept and extend the invitation to 'Come! And let anyone thirsting come; let anyone that wishes take life's water free.'"
Infinitely pleased with himself and his faultless performance, Ted set down his sheets of notes and looked up at Paul -- who was dozing peacefully.
Ted spent the next several minutes memorizing parts of the talk, moving the papers slowly so as not to awaken Paul. (Although it seems that if his preaching had failed to stir him, such slight sounds would have no effect whatsoever.)
This silence was broken, however, when Bobby came tearing up the stairs with a letter for Ted. These days he looked for any possible excuse to come up and then stay as long as possible.
"Here, I brought you your mail," he panted. "Oh hi, Paul. Are you up already?"
Wiping the drooping eyelids of a man torn from slumber -- Paul grumbled, "How can I sleep with you kids down there runnin' around all mornin'? What you got there?"
"It's mail for Ted. You didn't get any."
"My first mail at this address," Ted commented dryly but with a hint of satisfaction.
"Well open it up, man. Let's see what it is."
"I know what it is; it's a birthday card from my mother." He tore it open, and true to prediction, a colored card with the words "A THOUGHT ON YOUR BIRTHDAY" fell out. Skipping the sentimental verse, he read what she had written inside:
‘Teddy, Hope all is well with you. I baked you a birthday cake in case you came home unexpectedly. Besides--the kids had to have a cake even if you weren't here. I saved you a piece. Why don't you come over this week? Your father will be gone. If you have any dirty laundry piling up, bring it. Say hi to Paul. Love, Mom.’
"Silly woman," he said as he made an exaggerated movement of shaking his head, "she sends me a card when she knows I don't celebrate my birthday anymore."
"Today's your birthday?" Bobby and Paul exclaimed in unison.
"Yeah. But forget about it. What have you got there, Bobby?"
"Sentences," he replied sadly, holding up the large pad of ruled paper on which the same sentence was carefully written over and over.
"I gotta write 500 by Wednesday night before my dad gets home."
"What did you do this time?" Paul asked.
"I hit Joey at the hall Sunday. But he was goofin' off an' stuff with Jeannie."
"What are you up to now?" Ted asked.
"Let’s see," he went back several pages in the tablet and counted by twenties, "20, 40, 60, 80, 86. That's 414 left to go."
"Hey wait a minute, man! Just hold on a minute, now… Yeah! I remember it now. Wow!" Paul was babbling incoherently it seemed.
"What is it?" Ted asked with some irritation.
"I had this really far-out dream, man, I just remembered it now. It musta been while you were reading your talk, you know?"
"Tell us! Oh, please tell us!" Bobby cried, "I just love scary dreams."
"No, man, it wasn't scary. Not all of it anyway. There was like this valley, you know, But it was all made of little marbles -- all different colors. An' there was this guy walking in bare feet and the marbles started swallowin' him till he was ankle-deep.
"And then the guy was me and I started kicking really hard with my feet and the marbles started flying and started an avalanche into the city below. And everybody was killed there except the Jehovahs. And that one girl was there we went out with that time, you know?"
"Phyllis?" Ted volunteered.
"Yeah, that was the one. And she says to me, "There's 144 of us that survived. See our names?" And she takes me inside this place where there's this big book on an altar like in church. And this old priest with a long white beard turns the pages and I see all these names, an' I'm lookin', you know, for mine, an' I can't find it an' I'm goin' crazy lookin' for my name. And while I'm doin' that he goes an' opens this door in the back like of this altar, and there's fire in that room, like it must be hell or somethin' an' he starts motioning for me to come over there, but I'm runnin' my finger through this book 'lookin' for my name. But he keeps sayin' 'Come! Come! Come!' Then you came up behind me man."
"Me?" Ted wondered what he'd be doing in such a dream.
"Yeah. And you smile and say to me, 'Why are you so die-verjant? There's your name right there.' And you point to the book, but I look real hard an' still can't see it, an' I'm about to say so when you wink and shush me. And the next thing you know we're walkin' down that same hill only there's no marbles; it's all grass and trees and people laughin' an' runnin' around. And there's this pretty girl settin' out a feast on a picnic table and she looks at us and says 'Come!' and then this joker here woke me up."
Bobby laughed delightedly to think he had played a part in the ending of the dream.
Ted was fully caught up in the dream. He sighed and remained silent for a long time before he said, "I think you should start coming to meetings at the hall. There's no way I can get you to that cleansed valley without your actually being in that book."
Paul peered at him with a strange mixture of deadly seriousness and living terror and said at last, "Yeah, I think I might come once and see what it's like."
Bobby sat with Ted on the sofa as Paul fixed himself up in the bathroom. The boy's hand traced our carefully the words: 'I WILL NOT HIT JOEY OR FOOL AROUND AT THE HALL' until his hand ached.
Then he went to the window and watched the kids in the next yard playing softball. Ted was having greater success with his concentration: memorizing line after line of his talk. He was, that is, until he heard the pioneers file in downstairs for the field service meeting.
He listened hard to hear Phyllis' voice. Then it was only her memory that he concentrated on. Recalling her features line by line (as it were) from top to bottom: the golden hair, the high brow from which the hair was parted right in the middle, the fine eyebrows, the eyes squinted by the everlasting smile, the mouse-like nose and pale lips (both of which he oddly considered the height of beauty), the whole white face unburdened from any gooey makeup whatsoever. Then there was the ample body containing her still bigger heart.
He though of the rest of her body in equal or greater detail than her face, although he had to rely completely on a vivid imagination. He spent the rest of the day and night thinking of her in this way as well as other ways, until that night in bed he knew he would have to marry her, as he loved her and had thought of her for so long in a way proper only for a married person to think of his wife. He spent most of that sleepless night thinking of what it would be like married to her. Seeing her smile beside him in the mornings instead of the groggy-faced kids he had to force a smile at these mornings.
He thought of such insignificant things with immeasurable pleasure, like coming up behind her as she was cooking and giving her a hug and resting his chin on her shoulder -- as he had seen his father do. Or sitting at the hall with his arm around her as he had occasionally seen brothers do with their wives. He thought of a hundred details of domestic life, seeing only the good side with that halo of gilded hair framing the jubilant smile of the cherubic Phyllis who brought heaven into his life.
Six o'clock the following morning found him in such a state of exhausted ecstasy that he seriously doubted his need to go to work. But he mustered up what strength he had and wrestled his body out of bed.
After a long morning of stacking 100-pound sacks of flour, having them spill off the pallet, stacking them again and discovering a hole in the bottom one which left a two-inch thick trail of white powder the length of the warehouse; getting bawled out for making a mess; wasting 15 minutes searching for a broom to clean it up with when the boss came by and asked why he wasn't working… Ted was more than ready for his lunch break.
He ate his sandwiches hurriedly (for which he would suffer later that afternoon) and fetched his Holy Spirit book from the cloakroom where it had been weighing down his windbreaker.
"Hey what you got there? Ha! Holy Spirit, the Force Behind the Coming New Order." The ugly, sweaty little man with inch-long nose hairs read the title slowly, seemingly without comprehension to judge by the inquisitive look he gave Ted.
"That's right," Ted said too loudly, as if he was taking on the whole dozen men that milled around the break room, "did you ever think of the Holy Spirit as a force before?"
The man looked around him for support from his comrades, "Ha, I never thought of the Holy Spirit before, period." A round of laughter greeted this.
But one of the more intelligent looking men who was transfixed before the out-of-order vending machine didn't laugh. "I've thought of it as such upon occasion," he said without turning around, "but don't try preaching to Jack there; he's liable to understand something and the shock would be too much for him."
"That's true, that's true," Jack laughed along with the rest of them nodding his head furiously and displaying his tobacco-encrusted teeth.
This man who left the vending machine and the room without another word fascinated Ted. "Who's he?" he asked Jack.
"That's Bill Jackson. He's one of the big cheeses."
"No he's not," the fat man across the table corrected with emphatic disgust, "he just works in the office -- an accountant or somethin', that's all."
"You go to hell," Jack countered with an impolite gesture.
"That's right, it's time to go back," the fat man agreed as the bell rang bringing their lunch break to a close. The two men laughed delightedly at their miserable existence; they were the best of friends.
The afternoon slipped by quickly, and Ted found himself packed into a bus which had its air-conditioning broken especially for this, the first hot day of the year. As he stood, he tried to capture the anticipation of giving his talk that night. He knew that terrible thrill lay dormant in his heart and that now, having struggled through work, he could afford to unlock this burst of nervous energy and be possessed by it. This possession kept him from being overcome by the foul breath of the man next to him whom he had silently dubbed "Ash-lungs". He got off at the daily labor office to pick up his $9 and walked home from there, praising Jehovah for the prospect of not having to so enslave himself again until Thursday.
Much to his astonishment, Paul was sitting in the living room reading. This in itself was cause for wonder since Paul never wasted what little girl-watching time he had in any other pursuit but primping himself up in front of the bathroom mirror. But what really floored Ted was the title of the book he was perusing: The Truth That Leads to Eternal Life! And he was already halfway through it!
"Hey man, how you doin'?" Paul greeted and immediately returned to his reading. Ted gaped at him for a moment, trying to decide what to do. His first impulse was to run up and hug him. He quickly rejected that course of action. He searched for something clever to say or a simple question to ask like "What do you think of that book?" But in the final analysis he felt it better not to disturb him any more than he had already done. The thread that tied him to that book was so thin as to be almost nonexistent. Now was not the time to pull him away from it and risk breaking the bond, no matter how profound the words he might speak. So Ted went quietly into the bedroom where he found an even more startling sight, although it was so only momentarily: Joey was hiding under his bed. Ted pretended not to notice, not wishing to embarrass him or cause a disturbance that would break the mysterious concentration Paul was devoting to the Truth book.
A good 15 minutes passed which coincided with Ted's committing the last lines of his talk to an indelible imprint in his mind when a little head popped out from the other side of the bed and said, "Hi Ted!" The head had too much hair to be Joey's. As the rest of the body crawled out, it turned out to be Jeannie.
"Jeannie! What are you doing in here?" he sternly demanded. But her smile didn't fade.
"Me an' Joey were just playing 'hide'."
At this Joey also made his appearance with a look of guilt on his face.
"Joey, you know you're only allowed up here at bedtime. And you shouldn't bring Jeannie up here at all. "
"Bobby comes up here," he retorted.
"He doesn't sneak up here and hide," Ted glared, trying to act the part of an enraged parent and realizing that it didn't suit him at all. He felt he was bound to laugh any minute, or worse, join them under the bed. "You'd better go downstairs now; your mom will wonder where you are."
"Oh, she's down in the basement washing clothes," Jeannie explained as she and Joey made their departure. None of this seemed to disturb Paul who had apparently turned to stone before the Truth book. Ted went into the kitchen, opened a can of hash and fried it up for both of them.
"Mmmm, man, that smells good," Paul said at last, bending over page 141 and laying the book on the coffee table before him.
"It's just ready; sit down at the table and let's eat."
Returning from the sink where he'd just rinsed the pan after dishing out its contents, Ted was surprised to see Paul staring at the plate before him, consuming it with his eyes rather than his mouth.
"What's the matter?" he asked.
"Aw -- nothin'," Paul shrugged and grabbed the fork.
"Wait," Ted said with a gentle gesture, "did you want me to pray first?"
"Well, yeah -- if you want to -- I guess that'd be all right."
Ted smiled so hard he thought he'd cry.
When Paul clambered into the Johnson's car along with Ted, there was, to say the least, surprise. Vonnie and Richard simply greeted Paul at if he always went with them to the hall. But Sherri couldn't display such subtlety. "Is Ted's roommate comin' with us?" she asked in disbelief with her awkward emphasis on 'roommate' and 'us', seeming to put an ungapable chasm between the words.
"Yes, Sherri," Vonnie answered sharply, "and that's all I want to hear out of you for the rest of the night."
"Oh, God!" Sherri exclaimed half as lament and half as disgust.
Richard, who hadn't set the car in drive yet, reached back and grabbed her by the shoulder. She wrenched free leaving him grasping her hair. He gave a firm yank on her hair that brought tears to her eyes and sobbing to her breath.
"What'd I tell you kids about taking God's name in vain? Huh? He gave another yank which forced the words from her throat, "Ow! You said not to do it. Now let go!"
He did, put the car in drive, and looked as if he was about to admonish his kids further to right behavior, when he recalled the presence of Paul.
"We're a little crowded in here, Paul. But that's fine with us; the more the merrier. We're all one big happy family in Jehovah's Organization."
Ted decided that this was the wrong tack. Richard had done it right when he acted like Paul's presence was a common thing. But now he destroyed that effect entirely by calling attention to their overstuffed car. (They had seated Joey and Jeannie between them in front, while in the back were squeezed Bobby, Sherri, Ted, and Paul.) This thought was confirmed in Paul's sarcastic reply, "Yeah, I can see that man."
"Don't be upset over how we discipline our kids;" Richard replied, correctly divining Paul’s thought, "that's the only way to bring them up right. The Bible encourages beating them into obedience--they'll thank us for it later in life,"
There was something that sounded so wrong in what Richard had just said that Ted felt the need to add some sort of disclaimer. "I know when I first started going to the hall I didn't know whether to laugh or cry when a sister really whacked her little daughter across the mouth. I mean she was only two or three and she began singing to herself during a talk, and for that her mother really belted her one. It didn't seem right to me at the time, but now I realize it's what the Bible requires of parents."
Since the Johnson's were now numerically capable of filling up an entire row of chairs at the hall when they sat in one of the side rows (as they always did), Ted and Paul were on their own when it came to choosing a seat. This was just what Ted wanted: his chance to make his sitting next to Phyllis inconspicuous. He waited around until exactly two minutes before the meeting would start and then ushered Paul away from the last in a long succession of brothers and sisters he was meeting, to where Phyllis and her mother were seated.
"Hello Phyllis, Sister Dorsey," Ted greeted.
"Hi Ted, how are you tonight?" Phyllis replied.
"Just fine. Phyllis, you remember my Bible study, Paul Huberman?"
"Oh yes. Mom, this is Ted's study who went out in service with us that time and placed a book. Remember I told you about it?"
"Yes," Martha Dorsey smiled. Her smile, although as broad and intense as her daugher's didn't hide her eyes in as complete a squint; one could see a rapturous look in them, and an ever-ready tear. "How very wonderful to be coming in the Truth now. How exciting! How the angels rejoice to be bringing still another brother into the fold! All of us rejoice to see you here coming to the meetings, Paul. Don't ever give up no matter how hard the Devil tries you. Jehovah's spirit is stronger."
"Yeah, well I --" Paul was embarrassed to be the focus of such acute interest and enthusiasm as he had to endure in these first 15 minutes at the hall, "I’m not in it like Ted here. I just started. I'm not real sure yet, I'm sorta checkin' it out, you know,"
"That's all right," Martha consoled as she reached over and took his hand in both of hers (which required them both to stretch to the limit since Paul was standing and Phyllis was sitting between them).
"It's just like Brother Olson always used to say, 'All the trees don't blossom at the same time.' Jehovah calls you when you're ready, not before." A moment passed between them during which she rubbed his hand and spoke the language of the New World with her eyes, "I just know," she said at last, "you've found your place here."
"Good evening brothers and sisters," Dale Garvias' voice boomed out to announce the start of the meeting.
"Speaking of finding a place," Ted remarked nervously, "we'd better find a place to sit." At this point he hoped the Dorsey's would invite Paul and him to sit next to them, but as this was not forthcoming, he asked if the seats were taken. They said no, and he sat next to Phyllis: mission accomplished.
During the first talk his attention was fixed on the fact that he had set his book-bag down in front of him so that it was touching her purse. He edged himself ever so slowly and cautiously nearer her in anti-type of their handbags. First he moved his right leg until it was so close to her that the material of his trousers touched the fabric of her dress. This emboldened him to let his right hand fall beside his lap onto the edge of the metal folding-chair. As the second talk was coming to a close, he crept that hand over until it bridged the gap between their two chairs. He was breathing heavily by this time.
"Thank you, Brother Fleming. We appreciate that fine talk you gave us," Dale, who had resumed the stage, was saying. He proceeded to highlight Andy's use of gestures during the talk and concluded by giving him a passing mark. "Now I'm told that there'll be a delay in giving talk number three. So if those sisters are ready who are assigned talk four, we’ll hear from them now, please. And this will be Sister Vonnie Johnson with her theme, 'There's Always Enough Time.' And she'll be assisted by Sister Elvira Nelson. Sisters…"
Panic swept Ted's body as Dale left the stage and the congregation watched the two sisters wend their way to it. If talk number three wasn't ready after this one, he'd be next! He abandoned contact with Phyllis and held himself fast with his arms folded and his knees locked so that his mind wouldn't run away. In a few minutes he'd be up in front of the whole congregation! They'd all be looking at him, listening to his words, and scrutinizing his every minute action! What if his nose began to run? What if he had an attack of gas, or worse yet, forgot all his lines?
While Ted was in this state of horrific limbo, Bob Morrow, who was seated in the last row, stood up unnoticed and raked all the heads before him with his eyes. It was not long ago when he still had his privileges in the congregation, and he had often taken the head count at the meetings. So it was that he quickly verified what he had suspected; Elder David Nelson and Julia Salvayez were missing. The latter, he figured, was to assist in talk three, and hence was causing the delay. He walked quietly to the back of the hall, through the cloakroom, and out the door into the twilight.
It was usual practice, he knew, for an elder to give private counsel in Jim Stokes' van. This was due to the fact that there was no private room or secluded corner in the hall to carry out such an action, and to just stand outside meant to be constantly interrupted.
So it was that Jim Stokes' van came to be synonymous with being in trouble. It was, in fact in that van that Bob had himself received knowledge that he would be publicly reproved.
It was now dusk, and Bob found it difficult to see into the darkness of the van, but he waited. After a few minutes a car turned into the hall’s parking lot. Its headlights shone at just the right angle into the van to reveal the image of David and Julia in the back -- locked in embrace!
Ted was trying to concentrate on Vonnie's talk in order to relieve his tension, but he couldn't get past his own characterization of them. "Those two sisters," he thought to himself, "seem alike at first. They're both so refined and talk so delicately. But there's a great deal of difference between them. Vonnie's more down to earth, whereas Elvira seems artificial somehow. Elvira acts as though she never sat on a toilet in her life or possessed the bodily openings requiring such a fixture." He grinned at the thought.
The time which stood between him and his talk was evaporating rapidly; Dale was coming to the end of his criticism of Vonnie's talk and was looking about for some sign whether or not those in talk number three were ready. Ted wished he had the nerve to grab Phyllis' hand to steady himself. Instead, he grabbed the edge of his chair. It happened though that he was reprieved for the time being since Sister Julia Salvayez walked into the hall.
"I see now that our sisters are ready with talk number three. This will be Sister Lorna Gleason and her assistants, Julia and Rita Salvayez. And her theme is 'Helping your Bible Study to Get Free of the Old World."
There was a wave of laughter that came over the hall as the sisters ascended the platform. This was due to the elaborate outfit that Rita was wearing. It consisted of a sort of circular sandwich-board colored to represent the world. On it were written such things as "Material Things", "Free Love", "Do Your Own Thing", and other old-world representations. Further, running from her wrist to Julia's was a chain constructed out of loops of pink paper.
Julia played Lorna’s Bible-study who was trying to free herself from the old world with poor success. Lorna showed her many Scriptures and finally, at the climax Lorna announced, "The old world looks good to you because you're only looking at one side of it. But let's take a look at the other side of it." At this she turned Rita around and there on her back was the world with such words as "Selfishness", "Immorality", "Venereal Disease", and Crime."
"Now I see how wicked the old world is," Julia said, "but how do I get freed from it?"
"Here," Lorna said as she handed her the Bible, "the Truth will set you free." Julia took the Bible and brought it down on the paper chain between her and her sister's wrist, breaking it in two. The congregation burst into a spontaneous round of applause for this clever "talk". (This was unusual because the only time they were supposed to applaud was after the Public Talk on Sundays.) Dale resumed the stage and expressed his appreciation for the novelty of Lorna's talk and then went on to announce Ted's talk.
Ted rose up out of his chair and judged how very far it seemed to the platform. It would take hours to traverse, he felt. He turned his head to seek encouragement from Phyllis' smile, but she was fidgeting in her purse for something. He wished he had pressed her hand in his as he stood up; now it was too late. All eyes were on him as he suffered through the seemingly interminable journey. But somehow he traversed the distance, and at last he was there in front of the microphone, in front of the podium, in front of all those eyes.
"Dead," he said, and paused longer than he had planned. This long pause following such a startling word was propitious however; it was the only thing to make them pay attention after the last talk that was such a hard act to follow. People stopped fidgeting and looked right at him as one large eye. Instead of making him dissolve right there in a quivering mass, this somehow gave him added courage. He ceased trembling a minute into the talk and the words began to flow much like the river of life he was discussing. Each word added momentum and carried him to his conclusion. Before he knew it he was finished.
As he left the stage, he noticed David Nelson and Bob Morrow enter the hall together. As Ted squeezed by Brother Nelson, who squatted down in the aisle to whisper to Jerry Lindquist, he overheard him say, "So make it a point to call on him."
"Thank you Brother Evanston, we really appreciate that fine talk. No one would've guessed that it was your first talk." As Dale complimented him, Paul turned to the now-seated Ted and nodded a smile, "You did real good, man."
"Did you notice what a good opening he had?" Dale asked, "It really grabbed our attention. Unfortunately Brother Evanston wasn't working on his opening. He was working on 'Informative Material Clearly Presented', and I believe he did well here…"
Ted's being the last talk, a song was sung and the Service Meeting begun. The only phenomenal event that set this particular meeting apart was the fact that Bob Morrow raised his hand and was immediately called upon. The congregation was delighted to see him back in full graces again. In fact, he was also asked to lead the congregation in prayer at the end of the meeting. This he did, coming up on the stage and praying through the microphone as the custom was. His prayer, however, lasted a good ten minutes if not more. On several occasions Ted thought he was losing his balance from having stood so long with his head bowed and eyes shut. The prayer went on so long that it became ludicrous. Ted even made bold to look up at one point to test the reality of the situation. Seeing row upon row of people in the same stance, eyes shut to the world about them, and transported to a common communication with their Maker, Ted felt like a night prowler creeping past dormitories of innocent sleepers. He quickly returned to the reverent stance until the end of the prayer.
At last the prayer and the meeting were over. After fending off the many laudations on his talk, paying his respects to Brother Butler, and introducing Paul to anyone he missed before the meetings, Ted returned to Phyllis as she was gathering her purse along with her mother's.
"That was a real good talk, Ted. You didn't seem nervous at all."
"Well I was. Can I talk to you for a minute? You wanna sit down?"
"Sure," she smiled, attentively.
"You know I'll be getting baptized in July, and then I'll be a full-fledged brother. And a full-fledged brother is qualified to marry a full-fledged sister, right? Well, anyway, I think I'd like to get married right away." He said all this while staring hard at the back of the chair in front of him. The nervousness he'd experienced when his talk began was nothing as compared to this.
"Got anyone in mind?" she asked in complete and sincere innocence.
"Let me ask you – Phyllis -- have you ever thought about getting married? She began to answer when he cut her off, "I mean, if you'd like to get married, and I'd like to get married, maybe we could kill two birds with one stone, if you know what I mean… I'd like to marry you."
"No, brother," she lost no time in replying, "I want to stay a pioneer. I want to help as many people into the New Order as I can. And then, when we're in the New Order, we can marry whoever we personally want to marry."
"Are you coming, Phyllis?" her mother called. She picked herself up without a further word and joined her mother at the back of the hall.
Ted came out of his daze two days later. During that time he functioned quite mechanically in service and at work. He sat through the ordeal of the Johnsons’ Wednesday evening family Bible-study when Richard ripped up Bobby's 312 sentences (since they were short of the required 500). He watched blankly and unfeelingly as the command went out for a thousand sentences by Sunday's meeting.
But Thursday night he came back to life at the prospect of again seeing Phyllis at the meeting downstairs. He even brightened up enough to think of Paul and finally ask him what his impressions were of the meetings he had attended.
"It was like, well -- I don't know, man. It's like you're always sayin' there's so much love an' everythin', you know? But it seemed put-on to me. They're all beatin' on their kids while tryin' to act real polite an' everythin'. I don't know, I can't put my finger on it, but somethin' seems wrong there."
Ted looked terribly hurt and shocked, so Paul tried to ease his anxiety: "But I kinda go along with what I read in your book. So I'm gonna go again. It was… interesting."
"But you can't just go to the meetings because you think you won't make it through Armageddon if you don't," Ted warned. "Jehovah doesn't want people who only fear him; he wants people who serve him out of love."
"Yeah," Paul replied, "well one of the guys down there told me after the meeting that he only went because he had to. He said he'd be out at the discos every night if he didn't believe he had to go to meetings to survive into the New Order."
Ted felt like the doctor he'd seen on a TV talk show some months ago. He was introduced as having found a cure for the common cold, but when he came out he was unable to discuss it because he kept sneezing. (Ted hadn't stuck around to learn that it was a comedian's routine.) For Ted the hall was a center of love and unselfish devotion to God. But how could he drill that into paul's head? It was something he had to discover for himself. It would accomplish nothing to say "Look! Love is here!" if, when he looked he saw only selfishness and abusiveness.
"There's a meeting downstairs tonight, will you come to that?"
"Naw, not tonight, man. I might go Sunday, though."
Ted got his second disappointment that night at the meeting: Phyllis wasn't there. She and her mother were "visiting another congregation" again. It was a dismal hour. He was angry at the Dorseys’ ‘congregation hopping’ and so hardly answered two questions. With the exception of Jeannie, Richard's kids were all silent despite constant prodding. It was, to the surprise of everyone, Bob Morrow who was the most vocal. And even more astounding, his father Jack came in a close second.
As they sat around afterwards, David Nelson came and sat next to Ted on the couch, saying in an undertone (which everyone strained to hear while pretending to attend to other conversations): "Brother, I've heard some disturbing things about you recently."
"Oh, really?" Ted gulped.
"Yes, really," David snapped, as if Ted were questioning the truthfulness of his statement. "We discourage any brother from sitting next to any sister who isn't related. It looks bad. What would outsiders think if they found out? No, we certainly discourage that sort of thing unless, as I say, you're related to the sister or engaged to be married. So don't do it again. We're all surprised that you did it at all, trying to qualify for baptism as you are. Well, that's the first thing."
"There's more?"
"Of course there's more. Do you think we let single brothers go around kissing single sisters before they're at least engaged? I think you'd better get in step with Jehovah's Organization, my friend. The way you're going you'll be put out before you're in! You control yourself from now on. You don't kiss anyone, and you don't be with sisters alone with the door shut, married or otherwise. That's a real scandal, and I've informed Brother Johnson of it too, of course. He wasn't aware you were ever here alone with his wife. And I've talked with Sister Johnson too. But you, as the offending brother bear the most responsibility. We've decided," (he always had that irritating habit, common to editors and popes, of referring to himself in the plural), "to let it slip by this time with just this private counsel. But watch yourself -- I will be!"
After the meeting Ted was feeling very depressed. This was unusual for him. But as he heard Richard downstairs yelling at the kids for not answering and at Vonnie for not coaching them properly, he felt himself slipping into even deeper melancholy. Had he lost Phyllis as well as a good standing in the congregation? Had he also lost in a flash the friendship and trust of Richard? Bobby and Joey soon came up the steps whimpering. Bobby had a cut above his eye which Ted doctored for him.
"How'd this happen?"
"You know how it happened."
"Yes, I guess I do." Ted bit his lip and forced the next question out, "Did you deserve it?"
"According to him I did. I didn't answer at the meeting."
"Hey, Joey, are you all right?" Ted asked.
Joey had already put on his pajamas and was standing in the bathroom doorway watching them. "This arm's gonna be black and blue, I know."
"Well, you two better go to bed now." He wanted to ask about Sherri, but realized he'd heard all he could take for one night. He didn't want to find out if he could feel lower than he did at that moment.
Friday morning rolled around after a tormenting night. He determined not to go to work; he needed time to brood. Spending most of the morning pacing back and forth from the living room to the bedroom in anger at himself, he managed to tread out his fury into a strained conclusion.
Women, he decided, never say yes the first time. They want you to ask again to make sure of your sincerity. Why should he be so put-off from one negative answer? And so it was that he diverted himself from the fact that she had tattled on him about having kissed her, and on his innocent interlude with Vonnie. Conveniently forgetting this together with all her shortcomings and flaws, he set out to write her a love letter. In it he said many foolish things. He stressed the fact that she could still pioneer after they got married, and pointed to Vonnie as an example. Knowing the restrictions incumbent on Witnesses, he worded the following sentences in strict accordance with the rules (though to an outsider it would seem humorous):
"I would like to marry you. That entails our getting to know each other better, so I suggest we do this by 'dating', as it were."
This seemingly backward procedure -- mentioning marriage before dating -- was justified by the rule that dating was only for people considering marriage.
It was in the late afternoon that he finished this outpouring of emotion in written words. He was walking back from the mailbox when he saw Sandy Wilson emerging from the house.
"Oh, there you are!" she called, "I was just knocking on your door."
"Hello, sister. What can I do for you?"
"Nothing. I'm just here to invite you to Shirley Garvias' party tonight. She thought she'd invited everyone, and then your name came up. She says she's sorry she forgot you and asked me to drop over and tell you about it. It's at 8:00 tonight at the Crescent Ridge Mobile Home Park. You know where that is?"
"Not really, but it doesn't matter -- I don't have any way to get out there."
"Oh God!" she said in exasperation, "I'll have to see if I can round up someone to pick you up."
"Is it that necessary that I go?"
"Well, yeah! I was warned that you were shy and would act like you didn't want to go like a spoilsport. But we all know deep down you want to go and be with all the gang. It's just all the young people from all the congregations around here. Plus the chaperons, of course. It's like a coming-out party, I guess you'd call it, for Shirley. It'll be fun. They rented the game and party room they have there for the people in the trailer court. So we'll see you there then?"
"I guess so. Can I bring my Bible-study?" He now referred to Paul in this manner without even thinking.
"How old is he?"
"Sixteen."
"Sure, bring 'em along. See yuh!" With that she hopped in her car and roared away.
So, after dinner, Paul and Ted were sitting on the front porch steps waiting for they knew not what exactly, except that it would be a car. Sherri had gotten wind of the social event and was locked in her room for having pestered her father and step-mother past the breaking point over it. In revenge she had turned her radio up full blast.
The car that pulled up was a shiny, red sports car. Ted and Paul were both surprised at this unconventionality, but even more surprised to find that it contained Phyllis Dorsey in the front passenger seat.
"I wasn't expecting to see you here," Ted yelled to compensate for Sherri's radio, "I thought you were visiting another congregation again."
"I am," she yelled back as Paul and Ted made their way into the back seat, "This is Terry Barton from Emerald Lake Congregation."
"Pleased to meet you," Ted shouted as he shook the stranger's hand.
This Terry was an extremely handsome young man, with a trim but muscular build, blond hair, and blue eyes. He was also dressed in a suit that was out of Ted's economic bracket.
"Somebody's got their stereo on awful loud," Phyllis understated as they drove off. The half-hour drive was filled with Terry's vast experiences of travels around the world. He had met every interesting Witness in Europe, it seemed. He had gone door-to-door in London and Paris as well as Athens and several other places Ted had never heard of. Almost before he was done with one story Phyllis was pleading with him to relate another; "Tell them about the time you…" and "Tell us again about how…" were her constant requests.
Before that half-hour was up, Ted was sure that he hated Terry Barton. He couldn't admit that to himself in so many words, of course. Terry was a brother, and one had to love one's brothers. It was becoming evident to him that Phyllis certainly did love him, and that's why the opposite emotion was rife in Ted. He put two and two together and came up with Terry as the reason she was always visiting the Emerald Lake Congregation.
"I'd tell you all the interesting details of my life too," Ted said with secret mockery, "but I'm sure Phyllis has told you all about me."
"Uh -- yeah," Terry stammered, "I think she's mentioned you. Um, what was your name again, brother?" He was told Ted's name and had to admit he didn't recall hearing it.
Ted noticed that he was driving with one hand and wondered if the other was holding Phyllis' hand. "Hadn't you better drive with both hands?" Ted demanded.
"Oh, I'm used to driving like this," he replied as he exchanged a smile with Phyllis.
As soon as they entered the party room, Ted split from them. He had a sudden desire to pose as a flower on the wallpaper. But such was not to be. As he passed the triply spiked punchbowl (each spiker assumed that no one else possessed the nerve to have done it before him), a sister entreated him to partake. He obliged. The disco dancing was just finishing as the last '45 ejected itself in the jukebox. For a moment one could actually hear oneself think.
Ted still sought out some quiet corner where he could brood when Shirley Garvias' voice was announcing the next activity."All right you guys! I mean brothers and sisters…" everyone had a good laugh at this, sounding so out of place to remind them of their religious status when they were trying to think of each other as all young people did, "We've got a little party game now called 'Pass the Lifesaver'. So everyone line up now in two rows. And it has to be boy-girl, boy-girl." This was rather quickly accomplished; they were used to organizing lines quickly from all their experience at conventions. Toothpicks were then passed out and placed in their mouths.
The object was to pass a "Life-Saver" candy from one person to the next by means of the toothpick held in the mouth. The row to do this first was the winner. Of course the real purpose behind such a game was to bring the brothers' mouths as close as possible to the sisters' without actually breaking Witness rules by kissing. When Ted saw this, he made like Joseph when seduced by Potiphar's wife: he ran. He made it out of the building before the big hulk of a sister who happened to have been standing behind him, and who happened to be black, caught him and strong-armed him back to the door.
"C'mon, brother, you're not gettin' away that easy!"
But Ted was determined not to violate his conscience. Hadn't Elder Nelson warned him not to kiss any sisters, and wasn't this tantamount to the same thing? At the very least it was something more than merely sitting next to a sister at the hall where spiritual things were going on. So he braced himself against the doorway and refused to budge. The sister called for reinforcements and much to Ted's surprise and relief, it was Elder Nelson himself, acting as one of the chaperons, who came to his rescue -- or so he thought.
"Come along brother, now don't be a spoilsport. Join in with your brothers and sisters." So saying he grabbed Ted by the shoulder and yanked him free. He walked obediently back with them and resumed his place in line, shaking with embarrassment.
The game began again. It took some minutes before the object of so much intense concentration came near to his place in line. Phyllis and Terry were standing in the line opposite. Noticing Ted's extreme discomfort at the prospect of dealing so intimately with a stranger, Phyllis whispered to Terry that they should change places with the couple in front of Ted.
"Hey you two over there," Terry called to them, "we'd kind of like to trade places with you." The couple in question could see that Terry and Phyllis' line was way ahead in the game, so they gladly switched to the winning side. This put Phyllis directly in front of Ted, which served to make him even more confused. In a very short time a sister passed the candy to Terry deftly. Terry passed it to Phyllis in a longer maneuver in which he purposely drew his toothpick into his mouth as far as he could without losing the candy, so as to bring his face as close to hers as possible in the exchange.
Then Phyllis turned around to face Ted. For a moment she looked as far away from him as the platform did when he got up to give his first talk. Then, in an instant he was an inch away from those pale green eyes, jabbing his toothpick into her lower lip, and feeling hers assaulting his upper. They were hurting each other on purpose, but he got the worst of it as his lip started to bleed. Still he pursued her, jabbing her again and again though something held him back from piercing the skin. Fortunately, the other side claimed its victory just then. Ted and Phyllis ceased their secret hostilities, and both lines broke up.
A short time later Terry approached Ted and said: "Hey, your lip's bleeding. Some of us guys are gonna go out for a drive now, and Phyllis suggested that you might wanna come with us." Ted was about to refuse this offer when he noticed Julia Salvayez approaching the stereo with an armful of records. He knew he was too upset to dance, so he agreed to the drive (where he hoped he could mope in the dark back seat).
It was Paul, Eric Potter, Andy Flemming, and two other Witnesses he'd never seen before who joined them in Terry's car. Soon they were speeding down the freeway laughing at poor jokes made at the expense of the sisters.
Terry pulled up at the "Crazy Charlie" bar as if it were a pre-arranged destination. Ted had resigned himself by this time to go along with whatever other disaster the night might bring, so he walked numbly in with the rest of them.
They sat at a big round table and ordered drinks. They all had beer except for Terry who ordered a vodka on the rocks.
The waitress wanted to see I.D. for Ted and Andy (Paul looked older than he was).
At this Andy began to talk funny to Ted who looked at him in utter perplexity. "Que sa passa? Du est benaca, hombres…" Eric smiled at the waitress and explained, "They're from Spain. They just came over and don’t have their papers with them, but I'll vouch for them. It's all right. It's only beer after all."
At that the waitress gave a disgusted click of her tongue and sauntered away. All of them but Paul and Ted burst out laughing (thus giving the ruse away if it had ever had a chance of being believed). Paul looked at Ted with a meaningful frown that cut him to the quick. Then Paul turned his head away and gave an even more meaningful sneeze (as it recalled to Ted's mind the simile he had made before about the sneezing doctor).
"There were some pretty good lookers at the party tonight," one of the brothers Ted didn't know commented.
"I'll say," the other agreed, "did you see what Gloria Sterns had on? Wow!"
"You mean what she didn't have on!" the first corrected.
"Take it from me, guys," Terry counseled, "don't let those good looks fool you. Beauty isn't what you should look for in a woman."
"You're crazy!"
"Yeah, they're already sisters," Eric put in, "so what more do you need? Just pick out the best looking one. I've got my eye on Sandy Wilson myself. It's just a matter of time."
"You know," Andy, who had regained his native tongue, confessed, "girls are the main reason I'm in the Truth. I mean my folks, they said I had to get into religion, that I could pick whichever one I wanted as long as it kept me out of drugs an' stuff. So I looked around for the one that had the best lookin' broads and the friendliest -- and they're here. And you're a fool not to take advantage of it. There's more sisters than brothers in the truth, so they're all pretty desperate and easy pickin's, I figured."
Not giving Ted time to recover from this last revelation, or Paul time to rub his face in it, Terry set them straight on what he meant.
"You guys aren't thinking straight at all. You know what's gonna happen in the New Order?" There were so many possible answers to this question that everyone remained silent to see what he was getting at. He continued as he sipped his vodka, "In the New Order, my dear friends, everything's gonna be beautiful. You, me -- well I am already -- but everyone, including the sisters. They'll all be beautiful then with perfect bodies. So what's gonna distinguish between your Sandy WiIson, say, and My Phyllis Dorsey?" He paused to see if anyone would venture an answer. When none were forthcoming he answered his question himself: "Character! Right now you all think I'm a fool for taking Phyllis since I could have any of 'em. Phyllis is fat, it's true. She's not the greatest lookin' broad in the world. But she's got a great personality. She's real submissive, whereas your Sandy Wilson is something of a bitch --"
"That's true," Eric laughed.
"So look for the personality in a body that's just passable, I mean something you can live with now, and Jehovah'll take care of making it perfect for you in the New Order. Besides, if you take someone now who isn't a striking beauty, you won't have to worry about anyone else wanting her. She'll be all yours -- easy to get, easy to keep."
As they all sat around admiring this sage wisdom and slurping up their beers, Ted felt like saying: "I want her. I think she's beautiful now and hope nothing ever changes her." Instead he took a different tack, a stronger one guaranteed to pulverize them all. "I've heard it said that in the New Order the peak population will soon be reached, together with resurrected ones, and since nobody'll die off --" the drinks were going to his head together with the events of the night, making him slightly incoherent but he got his thought out: "there'll be no more reason for sex. No more babies. And Jehovah'll take sex away from us. Then there'll be no more difference between a Sandy Wilson... a Phyllis, beautiful, Dorsey, or a Terry, gorgeous, Barton."
This time only Paul laughed, and the fact that he was alone amidst all those terribly depressed faces didn't act as any restraint to his guffawing.
They returned to the party without getting drunk. Julia Salvayez grabbed Ted and forced him into a wild dance until the night spun down.
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Falling in Truth 
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Chapter 4: Arthur R. Olson, Elder
Arthur Olson was daydreaming as usual. He had nothing else to do. His roommate, (known to one and all simply as Mr. Jandle), was snoring quietly in the next bed, his enormous snow-white beard and mustache moving rhythmically with his exhalations. It reminded Arthur of those ribbons people tie to air-conditioning vents to prove that they’re blowing. In Mr. Jandle’s case such evidence was superfluous. The nurses had often attempted to persuade Mr. Jandle to let them trim at least his mustache for fear that he might choke on the monstrosity in one of his long naps (he was wont to sleep some twelve hours of the night and another six to eight of the day). But he had steadfastly refused; he felt his facial hair was a mark of distinction and he wasn't about to part with it.
With such company day and night, Arthur had all the time he could have wanted to meditate on Jehovah and heaven -- where Arthur felt he would soon be journeying. For Arthur Olson, who was "born in the Truth" 93 years ago, was of the "remnant": one of the last of the 144,000 people anointed to heavenly life still on earth.
He divided his time between dreaming of heaven and reading Scriptures from his large-print Bible ("New World" translation, of course) by means of his lighted magnifying glass and thick glasses. These Scriptures he more often than not read aloud since no one was around to hear him and he thought, perhaps, he could reach into Mr. Jandle's dreams with the Biblical passages. But as for dreaming of heaven, this activity was conducted more privately. The Bible didn't say much about what the spiritual realm was like. It spoke in symbols and allegories that gave, at best, a vague hint of how Christ's brothers and joint-heirs would live: it left most to the imagination. So he spent hour upon hour in thoughts of the hazy, happy future rather than in reminiscences of the long past.
Visitors were few and far between despite the Society's frequent admonitions to the "other sheep" to visit and help the "little flock".
Sandy Wilson used to come years ago and read the Watchtower to him. But when she learned that she couldn't count this as field-service time, she stopped coming. The last he'd seen any of his brothers or sisters was about two months ago when a handful of them came to celebrate the Memorial of Christ's Death with him. He remembered their looks of awe as he boldly partook of the bread and wine they were qualified only to look at. Since then the days and nights dragged on unbearably until it seemed he'd overstayed his welcome in this world.
There were so many of his brothers he'd seen go peacefully off to that bright glory so long ago. Why was Jehovah keeping him here? What good was he accomplishing? For what purpose was Jehovah saving him?
It was another Sunday, and Ted, for the first time, dreaded going to the hall. He felt humiliated by the wild dancing Julia Salvayez had forced him into. More ignoble than facing the congregation after that was to see Phyllis after meeting her surprise fiancé.
But Richard tooted the horn and Ted ran downstairs. He opened the rear car door but Richard told him to climb in the front.
"Where's everybody?" Ted asked.
"They're all sick. Where's Paul?"
"He decided to sleep in. What is it -- the flu bug going around again?"
"I don't think it's the flu, they just don't feel good."
When they arrived at the hall, Richard was constrained to repeat this same explanation scores of times as the friends expressed their concern.
The meeting passed for both of them in an uncomprehending way. They both caught the gist of the public-talk, and at the Watchtower study Richard answered his nominal two questions, but they were both preoccupied with their problems. After the concluding prayer Richard told him, "Let's go thank the speaker for a fine talk and then let's go; I'm in a hurry to get back today."
Ted was in such a resigned mood that he answered back, "I never thank the speaker for a fine talk when I'm told to do so from the platform," (the congregation was always admonished to do so by Elder Bill Paulson, the Watchtower instructor) "because I fear the speaker will have doubts as to my sincerity or initiative. Whenever we're told to give thanks or praise, we're immediately robbed of our being able to express our feelings free of constraint."
Richard was about to ask him, "What's the matter with you?" when David Nelson grasped his shoulder and ushered him aside. Brother Nelson knew the bad connotation associated with taking someone out to the van, so he gave his good news in asides such as these where those standing close by could hear. It never crossed his mind that by so doing he merely emphasized the stigma of the van.
"You're being considered for eldership," he informed a surprised Richard, "think you can handle the responsibility if you're appointed to that position?"
"I believe I can, with Jehovah's help."
"Fine. I don't think there'll be any problem in getting you in. There's just one thing though, kind of a tradition -- sort of silly, really, if you ask me -- but we're agreed that it's best to observe it."
"What's that?" Richard asked, getting nervous.
"Well, you remember Brother Olson, don't you?"
"Sure," Richard replied, "he was around yet for about a year after I came into the Truth."
"Yes, well he's bed-ridden now, you know, in the nursing home. He used to be such a vital part of this congregation and had such a big say in appointing elders that it's been something of a tradition with us to send prospective elders to him even now. Not so much for him to pass judgment, since he's not on the committee of course, but just to make him feel part of the congregation still. You don't have to see him, of course. There's no Scriptural obligation outside of visiting Christ's brothers when they're 'sick', but we'd appreciate it if you did."
"All right. When are the visiting hours?"
"The best time to see him would really be now. Sundays they have most of their visitors -- those who get visitors -- and that's when he feels the most lonely. I'd say your best bet is to go over there right now and spend a few hours with him. Brother Morrow is also being recommended for eldership, so perhaps you could go together."
"Bob Morrow?" Richard asked in suppressed shock. "But wasn't he just publicly reproved?"
"He was, but you'll notice that he's been restored to full favor in the congregation. We don't hold past troubles against a brother. Besides, we feel we might've been too hasty in that P.R."
So it was that Richard, Bob Morrow, and Ted drove out to the nursing home that Sunday.
Arthur wasn't expecting them. He lay there reciting Scriptures and old Watchtower articles to a blissfully unconscious Mr. Jandle.
He had so much packed away in his mind that he needed to relieve the 'pressure' now and again by verbalizing it. He was grateful for the fantastic memory Jehovah had given him, but sometimes he felt like a spring too tightly wound; the knowledge was overflowing his mind -- he couldn't hold it back indefinitely. He was reciting from memory an important article from a 1929 Watchtower when the three brothers sheepishly walked into the room.
He didn't recognize them. He thought they might be visitors for Mr. Jandle, and so he just nodded and smiled at them.
"Hello Brother Olson, remember me? Richard asked.
"What's that you say?" Arthur fumbled for his hearing aid and turned its knob, directing its "ear" towards the men.
"I say, I'm Richard Johnson. Do you remember me, Brother Olson?"
"Richard Johnson, let me see -- oh yes, you're new in the Truth, aren't you?"
"Well, I was when you were still going to the hall. I've been in it seven years now."
"Oh, yes. Married the Stevenson girl, didn't you?"
"Yes, that's right. Vonnie Stevenson."
"Who you got with you there, a darky?"
There followed a moment of embarrassed fumbling for words that Ted himself broke, "I'm Ted Evanston, brother. I don't like to be referred to as 'a darky'."
"A Negro, then. I’ll bet you get called worse than that in the field service, don't you?"
"Yes sir. But I don't like Negro either. We prefer to simply be called 'black' if our skin must be referred to at all."
"All right son, I know that. I was just testing you as to your reaction -- whether your required respect for age in an anointed slave of Jehovah would override your self-importance. Pull up some chairs, all of you. There's some more out in the hall, I think."
As Ted sat down he apologized for his behavior.
"Don't apologize," Arthur responded, "you did right; you passed the test. There's no special right that age or anointing gives a man to insult another, especially not a brother. You must forgive my presumption in testing those who come to see me like this. But I only get to see them here in this hospital atmosphere where no one's themselves. I have to cut through all that in a hurry if I'm to really get to know a person."
Bob Morrow had suffered just about as much neglect as he could take, "Excuse me, brother, I'm Bob Morrow. Richard and I were sent to see you about our being considered for elderships. Ted here is just tagging along because he gets a ride to and from the hall from Richard. He's new in the Truth."
It was clear Arthur resented being told whom he should pay attention to. He squinted at Bob through his thick trifocals and said, "You say you two want to be elders, huh? How about you, son, you want to be anything?"
"I want to be baptized. I will be at the next assembly, as a matter of fact," Ted replied.
Arthur shook his head, closed his eyes, and smiled. "No, not 'as a matter of fact,' not 'will be'."
Now it happened that Ted overheard all that David Nelson had said at the hall about Arthur judging Richard and Bob’s fitness for eldership, and at this point he was worried that this elderly man would deny him his qualification for baptism as well.
"Have you got your Bible with you, son? Fine. Then look up James 4:13-15."
Richard gave a knowing smile to Bob as Ted quickly thumbed through his Bible and found the passage: "Come now, you who say: 'Today or tomorrow we will journey to this city and will spend a year there and engage in business and make profits,' whereas you do not know what your life will be tomorrow. For you are a mist appearing for a little while and then disappearing. Instead you ought to say: 'If Jehovah wills, we shall live and also do this or that.'’"
Having taught the young rascal a lesson, Bob hoped Arthur would now turn his attention to him. He was correct in this assumption; "So you didn't come to see me, but to have me okay your names for elders, is that right?" Without giving time for an answer to this charge, he directed his attention back to Ted, "Boy, you sure found that Scripture fast. You know your Bible pretty good, don't you Ted?"
"I study it as much as I possibly can every chance I get. I've read that Scripture before several times. But you can't always take time out to stop and say, 'If Jehovah wills'. I mean it, of course, even when I don't say it because my whole life, my every breath is from him."
"That's a fine answer," the old man smiled, "You must forgive my neglecting your pressing issue, gentlemen, but old age is always fascinated by youth. We seem to see our own early lives shining again out of new eyes. I don't do a lot of reminiscing about the 'old days'; I think about what's ahead more than what's behind. But Ted has put me in mind of my youth, growing up in the Truth."
"How did you come into the Truth?" asked Ted.
"I was 'born in the Truth' as they say. Although that expression isn't technically correct since a person has to accept the Truth for himself when he comes of age. My mother and father came into the Truth through the Bible meetings Pastor Russell was holding in Allegheny. They had been baptized Lutherans in childhood, and in those days they didn't see the need for rebaptizing when a person became a Bible Student. You see, there wasn't any real criteria for being one: no dogmas you had to uphold or certain things you had to do. My father, I know, never agreed with the 'Wise Servant' idea, but that didn't stop him from being a true Bible Student."
"What was the Wise Servant idea?" Ted asked.
"It's what you call the 'Faithful and Discreet Slave' today. It was believed at that time that Russell was this Wise Servant Jesus spoke of in Matthew 24:45-47. Russell himself believed this -- that was obvious, but my father reserved judgment on the matter, and after Russell's divorce in 1906, he was convinced that the Wise Servant applied to all those shepherding the congregations."
"The elders, you mean?" asked Ted.
"Yes. Well, you see we were all of the heavenly 'little flock' back then. The earthly 'other sheep' didn't start to really be called till 1935 or so. That's why back then the Scripture more or less referred to elders in the congregations whereas today it refers to the remnant of the anointed left on earth, whether they have responsibilities or not, though most of us have responsibilities since we've been around so long. But tell me, Ted, since you're new in the Truth, what do you think of all this? What does the Truth mean to you?"
"It's everything: my whole life now. It ties all experience and questions together and explains and solves them all. It's like the 'something' that was missing from life that I could never put my finger on: the emptiness that all worldly people must feel. It gives meaning to life and purpose to existence. All of a sudden I see things I never saw before. I understand the elusive 'why' behind life's sorrows, and I know true joy for the first time in all its ecstatic peace and security."
"How marvelous," Arthur commented, caught up in the youthful frenzy of excitement he had called forth, "but tell me honestly, haven't there been any disappointments or disillusions for you in the Truth yet? What do you think of your brothers and sisters? Speak frankly now."
"I love them all and try not to judge them. I see their imperfections too clearly sometimes, and it makes me wish I could see my own that well. Yes, I've had disappointments in the Truth already. Sisters and brothers have let me down. If I and they weren't in the Truth, these things might've affected me for the very worst, but knowing that Jehovah forgives us all, I can only do the same and be thankful we're no more imperfect than we are."
Richard looked uncomfortable at this juncture and shifted in his chair while offering the following formula, "You must remember too that whenever you put two imperfect people together day in and day out they seem to multiply their imperfections rather than just add the two together. And then when you give them children to take care of besides--well, the number of faults grows exponentially! You see, Brother Olson, Ted lives above me and Vonnie, and he has to listen to our fights and such." At this they all laughed good-naturedly.
"Yes, that's what Paul calls 'tribulation in the flesh.' I never had that problem myself;" Arthur went on, "I made a vow early in my life to remain single and up till now I've kept it. You never know, though," he winked at Ted as a nurse came quietly in to check Mr. Jandle's temperature, "some of these nurses have their eye on me and they might just catch me yet!"
"Oh, I tell you, he's a regular tease, that Artie," the nurse joked. "The younger nurses never turn their behinds to him, that's for sure." This obviously standard joke of the nurse produced a dry wheezing laugh from Arthur. The others merely smiled, feeling it in poor taste and disrespectful.
"How about you, Ted, are you able to leave the ladies alone?" Arthur asked.
"No, I think I'd like to get married, but the right sister has eluded my grasp so far. But enough about me. These brothers didn't come here to hear about me, and as for me, I'd rather hear about your long experience in the Truth."
"Very well then. I don’t usually reminisce, but for you I will. And these brothers will just have to wait. That's one of the needed talents of an elder: patience.
"I was born in the Truth in 1887 in Allegheny, Pennsylvania. My parents were John and Susan Olson, both of whom had been in the Truth for three years when I was born. I had three older brothers and two younger sisters. Everyone believed in big families back then; we didn't know about the population explosion coming. We all got along splendidly as we strictly observed the Bible principles in our daily lives."
"What did your father do?" Ted asked.
"He ran a little dry-goods store in town, and did pretty good by it too. We weren't rich or poor, as was the wish of Agur, you'll remember, in Proverbs 30:8, 'Give me neither poverty nor riches.' Well, in those early days my father made sure we each got proper schooling. But we also had to have our special Bible lessons when we were little, and join in the family study when we got older. But in addition to that he took time to find out what interested us or what special talent we had, and he made sure we developed that. I won't prolong this with a description of each member of my family, but Peter, my brother closest to me in age, loved music and my father bought him a violin and paid for lessons. Pete loved that violin and we all loved to listen to him play."
"What was your special talent?" Ted asked.
"Well, that was a problem for a long time. I loved the sound of music, for instance, but couldn't play a note on anything. My fingers were just too clumsy. I had no interest in any craft, I couldn't draw, had no mechanical ability, no head for business… My father wasn't about to give up on me, you see, but it began to appear that I had no God-given talent whatsoever -- until one day we discovered it.
"There was some question on a matter we knew was discussed in a recent Watchtower (it was Zion's Watchtower back then) but no one could find it because it was a point made in passing, buried in almost any conceivable article. They were about to give the matter up after half an hour of searching in frustration when I told them the issue and page number as well as the approximate position on the page where the lines they were searching were located. They turned there in disbelief to find I was exactly right. I was only about nine at this time and had never been so bold as to enter into the family Bible study by speaking up this way. But my father encouraged me, with an excited look, by asking me what else I recalled about this particular article. Well, it happened that I recited the rest of the article word for word to the end. My father then grabbed a copy of The Divine Plan of the Ages off the shelf, opened it up, and asked me what I thought was on page 95. So I said: 'It must be admitted either the Church will fail to accomplish her mission, and that the plan of God will be thus far frustrated, or else, as we claim to have shown, that the conversion of the world in the present age was not expected of the Church, but that her mission has been to preach the Gospel to all the world for a witness, and to prepare herself under divine direction for her great future work. God has not yet by any means exhausted his power for the world's conversion. Nay, more: he has not yet even attempted the world's conversion.'
"My father stopped me after that first paragraph -- for I was prepared to go on -- and declared to all that he had at last found my special talent: I had a photographic memory!"
"Why hadn't you told him before?" Ted asked.
"Because I didn't realize that it was anything special. I thought everybody's memory worked just like mine, which is why I was confused whenever they had trouble finding a certain passage. I doubt if we ever know our own true talents; it takes someone else who cares enough to draw them out for us and make us realize our full potential.
"And my father wasted no time in developing my ability to remember. He read up on it in a medical journal and found that such cases of youthful mental ability often fade with maturity. He was determined not to let this happen, and so fortified whatever natural knack I had with intensive studying and memorizing. Just as my brother Pete had to practice at his violin several hours a day, I had to read and recite parts of the Bible or Watchtower publications for hours on end. We both enjoyed our practicing though. I look back on that time as one of the happiest times of my life.
"But as I grew older it became clear that I'd have to seek an occupation outside of my father's store as it was already well stocked with my brothers and sisters. So it was that Pete and I decided to head out on our own to rural Illinois. Our father had met a farm couple who lived out there when he had attended the first-ever convention of Bible Students in Chicago back in '93. I was only six then, so of course I didn't remember them very well. My memory was specialized only in reading, not so much in remembering people."
"May I ask," interrupted Richard, "how many were at that convention?"
"Three-hundred sixty were there and seventy were baptized. Don't you read your books?" Arthur smiled teasingly at Richard and continued, "Pete himself was baptized at that convention though some thought he was too young. He overcame their objections by the display of his knowledge. Pete remembered this Tufark couple and wrote to them asking how the preaching work was going out there and if there was any chance we might find work and accommodations out there. Their response was quick and encouraging. They offered to let us build a log cabin on their land rent-free! They'd also allow us a couple acres for a 'garden', and knew where we could get work as farmhands nearby.
"I must've been about your age, Ted, when I went out there with Pete by train and coach. We actually spent three days trying to find the Tufark farm once we got in the area. But we asked folks along the way and left them with tracts, so we put the time to good use. When we finally found the place, though, we were impressed. It was one of the biggest farms we'd seen. They had a big house, a house for the hired hands, cows, goats, pigs, five dogs, and three kids. They remembered Pete and he introduced me to Elmer and Roberta Tufark. We spent several hours in fellowship discussing all the latest Tower articles. Then, just before dusk, Elmer took us out and showed us where we could build our cabin. It was a hill about three-quarters of a mile from the big house. He couldn't make any use of it for farming, and it was too wooded for grazing, so he let us have it."
There ensued a long pause in Arthur's narrative. Bob was just about to break into it when he continued, "I can see that I’ll have to speed up my story or I’ll get lost in all these details. What happened was that we built our cabin, got the jobs as hired hands, and went out spreading the word to surrounding farmers on horseback. At first things seemed to be real swell, but after awhile troubles started piling up. We were 'city-slickers' to them, you see. When we dug the trench for our cesspool, snakes kept falling into it and we got scared out of our wits when we saw them slithering up behind us -- we'd jump out of the ditch and clobber them with our shovels. This is just an example -- they were just long garden snakes, you see -- no cause for concern. Elmer and Roberta laughed themselves silly at such scaredy-cats. We thought this was good-natured laughter at the expense of greenhorns -- and so it was at first.
But things gradually got out of hand. We started finding dead moles and snakeheads draped over our door when we'd return at night. I’d figured this was from neighbors trying to say in their not-too-subtle way that they didn't like our being there. Until one day I got back early and saw Roberta perpetrating the prank herself. She laughed it off, 'Just wanted to show you two that you didn't kill off all our wildlife, though you tried your best.'
We had to carry water in buckets from their kitchen pump up our hill every day, and that was another source of antagonism. Roberta complained that we planned it so Elmer was out of the house whenever we came and got the water -- '0h, what'll the neighbors say!' -- even though there were no neighbors for miles around.
"Finally, Elmer, obeying the command of his wife, asked us to leave. That day I had just finished digging the cesspool and Pete had finished putting in the windows. We were sitting by the kerosene lamp doing what we each loved best: I was reading the Bible, memorizing page after page as Pete played the classics on his violin. (You know, it's funny how the mind works; if I ever get stuck in remembering a certain passage, I just hum whatever Pete was playing at the time I memorized it and it comes back to me.) Elmer banged on the door and came in with his shotgun in one hand and a Bible in the other. Now it wasn't unusual to carry a gun around, even when going from the house to our cabin, but there was something meaningful in the fact that he never set it down while he talked to us.
"'I wonder if it would be asking too much if we asked you guys to move,' he said in a tone fresh from timidity but embarking on boldness. We stared at him in shocked disbelief. 'Why?' Pete asked.
"'We think you're setting a bad example to the neighborhood.' Elmer continued. 'You don't work hard enough. People are coming to think that Bible Students are lazy good-for-nothings. Besides, you never paid us any rent, so we're asking that you move off our property. People don't take kindly to trespassers out here.'
"'But you said we could have this place rent-free,' Pete protested.
"'Well, there's one thing a man says and another he expects out of common decency and gratitude,' Elmer replied.
"'Did you ever --' cried an angry Roberta as she entered the cabin. (She had come along secretly in case her husband had lost his nerve or failed to put the point across with sufficient emphasis.) 'Did you ever lift one finger to help Elmer on the farm? There were lots of things you could've done. But all you do is come home and sit around here. Elmer works harder than anybody around here. He's making a good name for the Russellites. And what good are you? We want you out of here in three days.' With that they left, slamming the door behind them. We still weren't sure just what had happened or why, but we knew they meant it.
"We left the next morning, turning our backs on the home we had worked so hard on, and the dream we had cherished so long. On the road we met Elmer coming back with some hay he'd bought from a neighbor. 'I hope we weren't too hard on you guys last night,' he said as he wiped a dirty hand across a sweaty brow, 'You see, I'm just so used to being here alone as the only Bible Student in these parts that when you're here it's like you're spying on me all the time. Like I know you're not watching me when I'm out in the fields, but I feel like you are…'
We didn't have the word 'paranoid' yet, but that's what he was, all right. He had some notion that we were reporting all his movements back to Russell himself. He had felt so superior to all his neighbors for so long because he was the only one with the Truth that when we came out there his 'superiority complex' was threatened.
"Pete and I went our separate ways then. He stayed in the Midwest trying to earn a living from his fiddle playing, and I headed for the Bible House in Allegheny. I was there about four years when they moved it to Brooklyn. Today, of course, we call it Bethel: the House of God."
"What did you do there?" Bob inquired, trying to sound interested.
"You name it--I did it. Over the years I held almost every job there was to do, for a little while anyway. Things weren't as organized back then as they are today. They didn't need to be so organized because the whole operation was so much smaller than now. But I eventually narrowed my scope down to the bindery end of it as we grew.
"I was there till 1918 when a spiritual crisis overwhelmed me. Pastor Russell had died in 1916 and Franklin-so-called-'Judge'-Rutherford took over as president. Two men could hardly have been more different. Russell had been a mild shepherd open to the opinions of others. Rutherford on the other hand, soon proved himself an egotistical tyrant with a whole new set of repulsive dogmas he expected us to accept although they ran against everything Russell had taught for over forty years."
There was a fidgeting in chairs and clearing of throats by the dismayed brothers who'd never suspected Arthur of such unorthodoxy.
It was Richard who spoke first, "I find it hard to believe that a servant of Jehovah, who obviously served him so well -- what I mean is, I don't see how Jehovah could've made a wrong choice in a leader for his name-people."
"How did his bad character reveal itself to you?" Ted asked. "What is it that made you feel this way towards him; surely you changed your mind later?" he added hopefully.
"I’ll tell you one instance," Arthur began. "You've all heard about the notorious P.S.L. Johnson --"
"I haven't," Ted admitted.
"I’ll tell you about him then," Arthur continued. "There are two P,S.L. Johnsons: there's the Society's version of him and there's the man himself. According to the Society's version, this man was of the 'evil slave class' because he turned traitor to the organization, thinking himself the rightful successor to Russell. Our 1975 Yearbook goes so far as to say that he thought himself prefigured by Elisha who took over prophesying after Elijah ascended heavenward. This Johnson tried to stir up opposition to Rutherford who finally had to resort to a legal loophole to dismiss Johnson and his cohorts from their positions in the board of directors.
"The real P.S.L. Johnson was a man I knew well. He once thought himself as a successor to Russell, but held this view only for a very short time: a matter of months at the most. He then regretted his error and made a public disclaimer of this thought to the Bethel family. He never ever thought of himself and Russell in terms of Elisha to Elijah. If you'll look on my bookshelf over there you'll see a big book by Johnson entitled 'Elijah and Elisha' in which he explains their antitypes in terms of classes: the Elijah class as all the anointed rather than any one man, and the Elisha class as the Society.
"There is no excuse for this misrepresentation by the Society today. Brother Johnson, however, was just as wrongly accused in his own day by Rutherford. I was there in the Bethel dining room when Rutherford falsely accused him of having stolen money from Society funds. Johnson replied, 'That's false and you know it is.' At this, Rutherford told him to leave Bethel. Johnson stated that he had appealed this decision to the board of directors, and since they were supposed to be running the Society at that time, he'd await their decision on the matter.
"'You leave this house!' Rutherford cried as he roughly grabbed Johnson by the shoulder, almost toppling him to the ground. His other arm was raised as if about to strike Johnson, but a nearby brother, MacMillan, prevented it. Johnson thereupon called attention to the fact that Rutherford had used violence against him, but he was met with jeers and hoots from a considerable number of the Bethel family.
"This so outraged the rest of us who still retained some sense of decency that we left the dining room as a man."
"Did you leave Bethel then?" Ted asked.
"No, not yet. I was still to witness Rutherford's usurpation of all power as well as his kicking Johnson out. Poor Johnson had sneaked out to mail a letter. When he came back the door was slammed in his face by a 'brother' assigned to guard against his entry. He was motioned to another door where he saw another brother placing all his belongings on the sidewalk. Rutherford poked his head out the door and Johnson asked him if this meant that he was evicted from Bethel.
"'Yes,' Rutherford replied and closed the door. Johnson rang the bell and when Rutherford again peeked out Johnson smiled and said, 'Well, after all, Brother Rutherford, my sentiment is "God bless you".' Rutherford smiled and asked if he needed any money. Johnson said no, that he had some, and the door was again closed.
What right did Rutherford have to do this? None. What right did he have to publish in secret the seventh volume of Studies in the Scriptures without even bothering to notify the board of directors? None. But still I didn't leave.
"The day after Johnson was evicted I received a letter from my brother Pete. He informed me of how he had grieved for months over Russell's death and was perplexed as to how the work could go on without him. When I read this I realized that we needed leadership, good strong leadership, at this time. But I felt this could better be accomplished through a board of directors than through any one man.
"This, in fact, was the wish of Russell himself. Right after his death it was announced in the Watchtower that a committee would run the Society. All the same, I could see Rutherford making his power play successful due to the spineless majority at Bethel.
"Getting back to Pete's letter, he mentioned that on his way through our old stomping ground in Illinois he stopped by the Tufark's farm and discovered that they had rented our cabin to worldly people. This upset me quite a bit. It even occurred to me that they might've planned all along to kick us out and benefit from our having built them a cabin they could rent out.
"I was fast losing trust in my brothers and sisters. But still I didn't leave.
"I started right in reading the seventh volume of Studies in the Scriptures (The Finished Mystery). That, I figured would give me the needed strength to overlook the imperfections of my spiritual family. But what I found there was more of the same. From the title page onward something was amiss, for there Rutherford had put a very conspicuous drawing of a coin, obviously so he could claim later that his writing was 'the giving of the penny' (in fulfillment of a parable which was a raging controversy at that time). But it went from bad to worse.
"The book made arbitrary radical changes in Russell's chronology, giving the dates 1918 and 1920 as the beginning and end of the 'great tribulation'. This I read on page 62. By the time I got to the end, I was reading hints of the coming change in attitude towards other Christian religions; The Finished Mystery was advertised showing a picture of priests, cardinals, and other religious leaders toppled from their edifice and drowning in the waters of Truth.
Rutherford was arrested along with the seven other brothers on the charge of sedition (since the book was anti-patriotic and anti-clergy, which was not appreciated in a time of war.) The government banned the book, and Rutherford turned paranoid against Christendom. I really believe his mind went during his short stay in prison where he vowed vengeance against Christendom for having put him there. And the titles of his later works affirm this: Enemies, which focused largely on the churches and governments, Judgement Against the Churches, the Governments, etc., Vengeance, and so on. But I was out of it by that time."
At this point Bob yawned with great exaggeration, intending to be noticed by Richard and Ted alone. Arthur was more observant than Bob figured, though. "Brother Morrow, you witnessed how I tested Ted here when he came in. But my testing of prospective elders is subtler. Perhaps their capacity for learning from another's experience is one of my testing points."
"It's just that ancient history was never one of my strong points," Bob snickered.
"Your characterizing it as such has suggested a further simile to me: you are trying your best to be the loud-mouthed smart-aleck of the classroom. And having played this role for so long (for I perceive you must've been born in the Truth) you now want to be the teacher as well!"
Bob was stunned. No one had talked to him like that before. But more than this, Arthur had hit the nail right on the head: Bob's head, and that was painful. The blood rushed to Bob's cheeks, but whether it was from blushing embarrassment or panting rage, only he knew at that moment. As Ted felt the tenseness of that moment, he knew that this was another of Brother Olson's tests, and his respect for him took another giant leap. Here he had just announced to Bob that he had subtler tests to try him by, and Bob was too engrossed in reacting to his last statement to realize that this was the test just announced. This also gave Ted a feeling of special rapport with Arthur, as if he had somehow let him in on a little secret which they now shared between them.
"Well, some teacher you turned out to be," Bob retaliated at last, "We didn't know you were a Russellite! We bring a brother new in the Truth to see you and what do you do? You call Rutherford names and resurrect dead scandals of antiquity! I wouldn't be surprised if you nearly stumbled Ted right out of the Truth today! Besides, we know all about that P.S.L, Johnson character from the '75 Yearbook. He thought he was 'Earth's Great High Priest' and wasn't thrown out like you describe. Rutherford offered him and his cohorts positions as Pilgrims which they refused. Then they left of their own accord. So, Ted, don't listen to him, he may be getting senile. Listen to the Society instead."
Bob had been shouting this in excitement and the nurse stuck her head in to see if everything was all right. "It's okay, my dear," Arthur assured her, "the gentleman was in a momentary ecstasy over the Truth."
She smiled and said, "Let's try to keep it down a little, though, shall we?"
When she had gone, Arthur replied to Bob, "First of all, I'm not a Russellite. I'm one of Jehovah's Witnesses, just like you. If you'd let me finish my story before you fall asleep completely, you'd see that. But to answer what you say about Johnson and Rutherford: you are quite right in pointing out that your choice is between believing me and believing the Society. Your decision to believe the Society, furthermore, is the correct one."
"Wait a second," Ted blurted, "you're saying that the Society is lying about Johnson and Rutherford, and yet we should believe the Society instead of you? I don't understand that at all. How can we be in the Truth and believe in a lie?"
"Oh, you do it all the time. Since new light is always being turned on the old Scriptures, something constituting our belief is always changing and in a constant flux. So that what we held as truth on a certain point, say a month ago, is now no longer true. If it is not a truth, what is it?"
"A falsehood," Ted answered.
"And what do we call it when we tell a falsehood?"
"A lie."
"So one month ago you believed a lie and yet were still in the Truth. And, since we can safely assume that the light will continue getting brighter unto the perfect day, we can be sure that we are believing some lies today, and yet we're all in the Truth."
"But you know that what they say about Rutherford and Johnson today is a lie, so how can you believe it?" Ted asked perplexed.
"I can't believe it. I merely assent to it. But you haven't had that same first-hand experience that I had. Therefore, you can believe the Society rather than me, and I want you to; it's for the best."
"Yeah, he can't prove what he's saying so now he's backing down," Bob taunted, unimpressed by Arthur's profundity.
"Ted," Arthur said without batting an eye in Bob's direction, "go over to my bookshelf there and take down the bound volume of Watchtowers for the year 1918 and give it to Brother Morrow."
Ted approached the massive display of learning with reverence. The bound volumes occupied an entire section of the wall-to-wall shelves which stretched from floor to ceiling. He had to stand on a chair to reach the large green volume that was requested.
When Bob received the volume, he paged through it with some interest but no particular motive as Arthur tried to remember something. It only took a moment and he had it. "Please turn to page 30 and tell us what you find there after you've read it. While he's doing that, we'll have a moment's peace to continue," Arthur wheeze-chuckled.
"My whole family and I went over to Johnson's movement -- all with the exception of Pete, that is. He left off organized religion entirely and toured the country giving recitals and lessons."
Richard felt he was being too quiet to demonstrate his genuine interest, so he asked, "What was Johnson's movement like?"
"It followed Russell's writings with gradual and slight elaboration, as one would've expected, rather than the total reversal of what had been taught for over forty years, which Rutherford was engaged in," Arthur replied.
"But I've heard there were splits in the group and everyone left to start their own religion till they all petered out," Richard observed.
"Oh yes, there were splits all right. But they didn't die out. Johnson's Laymen's Home Missionary Movement is still active today with thousands of members, and the Dawnites are much larger with their own radio broadcasts and such. They cooperate together much better than we do with them --"
"Yeah," Richard laughed, "we won't have anything to do with them."
"But they call each other and us the 'Truth People'. What do you think about that, Ted?" Arthur asked.
"It kind of makes me ashamed to think that we call them the 'evil slave class' when they're calling us 'Truth People' together with themselves," Ted replied.
"There was a lot of pettiness, though," Arthur continued, "and even in the LHMM there was too much desire for thinking all alike -- insistence on little points that didn't seem to amount to much. The question whether the 'door' to the heavenly calling was closed or not in 1914 is the major one dividing them from the Dawnites -- as if a person could know something like that!"
"So what eventually made you decide to come back in the Truth?" Ted asked.
"Well, I never left my pursuit of the truth. But what changed my mind and led me back to the Society was mainly their growth in numbers. I could see that Jehovah was blessing them with more and more members. They were preaching and bringing some degree of truth to more people than we could ever hope to; people didn't even know we existed. Our preaching was sporadic and voluntary, you see. The second thing was that Rutherford died and Knorr took his place. Knorr was the better man and returned to some of Russell's teachings, though they were modified almost past recognition."
"Let's see," Richard pondered, studying the ceiling, "Rutherford died in '42, that means you were out of the Truth for 25 years!"
Arthur shook his head, "No, I was never out of the Truth. I had followed my conscience where it led and --"
"What's this supposed to prove?" Bob, looking up in disdain from his assigned reading, asked.
"Well, what's the gist of it?" Arthur asked, making a show of his patience.
"It's a letter from a guy who says that Johnson is now teaching that the Society is Elisha."
"And what does the Society say Johnson said about Elisha?" Arthur asked.
Bob hesitated, "I don't know. What are you getting at?"
"Ted," Arthur resumed the previous style he'd used in requesting the Watchtower volume, "go get the '75 Yearbook on the shelf and hand it to Bob to refresh his memory,"
Ted ran his fingers along the Yearbooks dating from 1926 until he came to the right one and handed it to Bob who grabbed it out of his hand to demonstrate to all his tiring of the whole ordeal.
"Would you be so kind as to turn to page 89 and tell us what you find there?" Arthur asked.
Bob opened to the page and read what was underlined in red. Then summed it up, "It says that P.S.L. Johnson told everyone that he was 'Earth's Great High Priest', like I told you before."
"Yes, what else does it say?" Arthur prompted.
"That he thought himself Russell's successor, 'Contending that the mantle of Pastor Russell had fallen upon him just as Elijah's cloak ("official garment") fell upon Elisha.'"
"Is that true?" Arthur asked.
"Yes, it’s true," Bob affirmed.
"Is that true? " he asked Richard.
"It's in the Yearbook -- yes, it's true."
"Why is the Yearbook true?" Arthur further delved into Richard's reasoning.
"Because the Society published it," Richard replied.
"And what about the 1918 Watchtower, who published it?"
"The Society. But the truth gets brighter. If there's a discrepancy between the old literature and the new, we're supposed to go by the new," Richard responded.
"And you don't see why that rule wouldn't apply in this case?"
"No."
"Good. What about you, Ted: Do you believe what the '75 Yearbook says?"
"I don't know."
"C'mon now, don't let me down," Arthur urged, "is it the truth?"
"No."
"Why not?" Arthur asked in surprise that seemed exaggerated.
"Because the old Watchtower goes to show that way back then Johnson was saying the Society was Elisha not himself --"
"The Yearbook is lying then?"
"Yes."
"Good. I'm pleased with all of you. Ted, you'll never be an elder at that rate, though. You all stuck to your consciences: you two elder brothers (pun intended) knew enough to trust the Society lest your whole system of truth break down, so your faith reigned supreme above your reason. But Ted, being new in the Truth, hasn't learned that yet, so he relied on his reason."
"But isn't truth reasonable?" Ted asked.
"It is," Arthur replied, "but faith is beyond reason. That's something I can't explain to you -- you'll have to learn it from experience as we have. Since I just said faith is beyond reason, don't ask me to give you a reason why it's so. But I can give you an example from my own life; in fact, that's what I've been doing all this time.
"I came back into the Society in spite of my own knowledge of its wrong-doings, in spite of being repulsed by its sectarian dogmatism and its preaching destruction for all but those within it.
"I see Brother Morrow shaking his head at this. He can't see how anyone could be repulsed by any of the Society's teachings. But let me ask you this, Brother Morrow, when you first saw the picture on pages 208 and 209 of the book From Paradise Lost to Paradise Regained, didn't you feel a tinge of repulsion?"
"What's on those pages?" Bob wondered.
Ted, in anticipation of Arthur's request, had already made his way to the shelf and picked out the big pink book. So as soon as Bob had asked the question the book was handed to him. He turned to the said page and found a drawing of people drowning in a flood, crushed by toppling buildings, pelted with a rain of stones, fleeing their burning homes, and falling into a chasm in the earth.
"No, this is Armageddon," Bob replied. "We're not supposed to feel sorry for these people. You must remember that I was brought up on this book. It's a book for children. My late mother used to read this to me and show me the pictures in lieu of a storybook when I was just a kid. So how could it be repulsive to me?"
"Yes, I can understand that," Arthur nodded, "but imagine yourself in my place for a moment. Here I had studied the publications all my life and had read of how everyone was to make it through Armageddon into the Millennium where they'd then be judged during Christ's thousand-year reign as to whether they deserved everlasting life --"
"Is that what the Society used to teach?" Ted asked in astonishment.
"Oh yes," Arthur replied. "You see, it was a very simple matter of realizing that the world couldn't be judged in this old system in which the Devil ruled and had everyone blinded to the Truth. They'd have to make it into the Millennium where Satan was bound and could no longer influence them. Then no one could say 'The Devil made me do it', you see. There they'd all be judged on their own merits after coming to a complete knowledge of the Truth."
"Then what good was it to be in the Truth before the Millennium?" Richard asked.
"A very good question," Arthur smiled in due appreciation, "but it has a very good answer. Those who were gathered together in the Truth before the Millennium were destined to be of the 144,000 Spiritual Israelites who'd rule in heaven with their Lord Jesus Christ over the rest of mankind on the earth.
"Well, now, as I was saying, imagine yourself as having studied under this idea for all of your life: having checked and rechecked the Scriptures daily as to whether this was so; having successfully debated the point with ministers and preached it to all with whom you came in contact; praising the Lord continuously for having provided such a just and merciful plan for all mankind. Having love in your heart for those who reviled you, knowing that God loved them and would have the Truth made manifest to them before judging them; knowing someday that you'd look back and laugh at that day together as brothers praising God in harmony. Imagine associating with brothers and sisters all of your life who believed the same as you did about this wonderful ransom which applied to all men and would see them all into the wonderful Millennium. And then, after you've pictured all this in your mind, imagine that suddenly, almost overnight, these same brothers and sisters decide for no explicable reason to change their mental image of the future to one like that in the book there! Imagine that the same Society from which you learned those marvelous truths suddenly started writing things like you've read in the book The Nations Shall Know That I Am Jehovah – How? which says that everyone who is not a Jehovah's Witness will be killed by God, including little children! Suppose you saw subheadings in that book like 'Where the Smashing of Heads Begins,' which describes in graphic detail the death of all clergy. Or, to add horror to the grotesque, think of coming up to page 191 in that book and reading that we survivors of this dreadful slaughter 'will rejoice at the fiery destruction that proceeded from Jehovah's celestial chariot against hypocritical Christendom and all the rest of Babylon the Great. Surely all of us want to be on the side of those who rejoice when that occurs.' And I ask you in all honesty: wouldn't you feel repulsed?"
"Yes," Ted whispered, turning pale.
"No," Bob pounded his fist on the book for emphasis, "I don't see what your problem is at all, brother. The Bible tells us that all those who aren't with us are against us, and that includes 'little children' as well. And the Bible always pictures the angels and his people as rejoicing at the destruction of God's enemies. We can't afford to get sentimental over those God hates for their evilness."
"I didn't know God hated anyone," Arthur responded. "The Bible tells me God loves all mankind. But what I really want you to do right now while the thought is fresh in your mind, is to open your Bible to Proverbs, chapter 24, verse 7, and read it out loud to us in a clear and determined voice, filled with conviction."
Bob duly turned his Bible's pages and read, "’When your enemy falls, do not rejoice; and when he is caused to stumble, may your heart not be joyful.’"
Arthur paused for the moment needed for Bob to unsuccessfully try to spit out his foot, and continued; "Now perhaps you can see why I left. What's harder to explain is why I came back. I just felt I'd be more useful here, and that it was obvious Jehovah was using this as his preaching organization. As I've said, we did believe that this was the Society's mission as Elisha, so there was no difficulty there.
I just felt I belonged in the more active place so as to serve Jehovah better. So, about a year after Rutherford died -- 1943, I came back.
Johnson's headquarters was in Pennsylvania all those years, and so was I. But now I moved to New York and applied for Bethel service. By 1945 I had proven myself sufficiently for them to accept me. In a short time I was in charge of answering questions that came into the office via letters. I did this until 1970 when I left and came here, wanting to savor the field ministry once more before my death (for field opportunities are limited to weekends at Bethel). But my health soon began to fail so that by 1973 I had to come here to this nursing home and wait to die."
"That sounds so pathetic," Ted lamented, feeling dizzy from having journeyed though so many years so quickly.
"But it's not at all," Arthur reassured, "I'm looking forward to death -- have been for many, many years. You see, when I die, I’ll join all my old friends in Jehovah's presence. And I can't even begin to comprehend the joy that will be!"
For the next few minutes, even Bob remained silent as Arthur contemplated heaven. This was sacred ground, which no man dared break. At last Arthur came down to earth and said, "Well, now that I've satisfied Ted with my life story, I can turn my attention to you would-be elders. The congregation has been kind enough to allow me some connection with the selection and training of elders so that I won't feel completely useless. But I really have no say-so, I can only tell them what I think -- they needn't take it into consideration no matter what they tell you. But from what I see so far, I'd have to say that if they recommend you," at this he pointed a bony finger at Bob, "I’ll write a letter myself to the Society asking them to delay your appointment until after I die. And I carry some weight at the Society, having been at Bethel 25 years the last time. I don't know how anyone could ever consider you as an elder! What a mockery you'd make of the whole institution!"
"Well it's a good thing that wiser men than you have to decide it," Bob concluded.
Arthur began addressing Richard and paid no further attention to Bob. "I want you to know that I've always respected and tried to emulate my father's method of discovering a person's talent and elaborating on it. This is what I've done with the prospective elders sent to me, and this has been my real usefulness in these matters. I helped Dave Nelson, for instance, learn how to shepherd the congregation: to be on the constant lookout for any trouble and nip it in the bud. I knew this would be his best asset since he seemed so stern. A strange man though. He almost never smiles and that's not good. You know, I taught Dale Garvias not to swear. He picked up the habit in childhood and just couldn't rid himself of it. At the time it presented a real obstacle to his becoming an elder."
"I've got a roommate who's sort of my Bible Study," Ted couldn't lie to Arthur, hence the 'sort of', "and he has that problem with swearing a lot. How do you break someone of that?"
"Well, I got to thinking about it: why does a person like Brother Garvias swear? It isn't because he wants to be vulgar or shock anyone -- and swearing doesn't shock anyone these days. It's simply out of habit, rarely out of real anger. Dale was a very personable fellow, very down-to-earth, he could talk to anybody on the street and they'd take an immediate liking to him because he was so natural and unaffected. But if he'd drop something on his foot, there he'd go with a 'damn', or if he talked about the weather, there he'd go with 'it's a hell of a day'. These were the milder terms he used, you must realize. So I told him, ‘look: what do these words you use mean? Why do you use them? Isn't it just to have something to say, that people expect you to swear when you drop something on your toe, or they'll think 'boy, he's so dumb he doesn't say anything when he hurts himself -- I wonder if he really feels it?' In short, it was an attempt to be natural that went too far. So I developed what I call my 'Balaam method' to end swearing. You remember the story of Balaam from the Bible. Why don't you tell it to us, Richard, you've been awfully quiet today."
"Okay. Balak was at war with the Israelites, as I remember it, and he hired Balaam, a Jewish prophet, to curse Israel for him so that he'd win the war. But whenever Balaam opened his mouth to curse, he ended up blessing instead. So I imagine your method involved somehow the substituting of the latter for the former."
"Exactly," Arthur admitted, "and it was simplicity itself. It was clearly easier to ask him to substitute a blessing word for a cursing word than to try to make him say nothing in those instances that caused him to swear. Since he had to admit that the words he was using didn't have any real meaning, I simply asked him to either say another inoffensive nonsense word or a pleasant word in its place.
"Did it work?" Ted asked.
"You bet it did --"
"You're not supposed to bet," Bob reminded him with great satisfaction.
"In no time at all," Arthur continued, ignoring Bob, "he was saying, or rather yelling at first, 'How terribly unpleasant!' when something went wrong. This sounded so funny that he'd start laughing and forget about whatever it was that went wrong. Later he reverted to smiling and saying sarcastically that something was 'very pleasant' or 'wonderful' when, of course it was anything but."
"All right, so you taught him not to cuss. What are you going to teach us? To be Russellites?" Bob demanded.
Arthur continued unabated, "From what I've heard and know about you, Richard, I would say your talent lies in refutation and debate. It seems to me that there are an awful lot of ministers in this territory of ours and everyone in our congregation is secretly afraid of them because they don't know how to handle them. When you're not running into them out in field service, some new study of yours will invite one over to debate with you so he can choose between you. That happens a lot and we've lost a few studies over it when we needn't have. So I would like you to come visit me four more times, whenever you'd like, before we send your names into the Society. Sundays are best because these will be marathon sessions. And I will teach you how to debate with a minister. Most of them are good men and will accept the Truth if you can convince them of it."
"I've already studied the booklet The Word--Who Is He According To John," Bob stated, "that should be able to handle any minister. All they ever want to talk about is the Trinity anyway. And if they ever get around to the soul or hell, well, even Ted here could handle them on those topics."
"You think you really know enough to disprove the Trinity to a minister who has spent years in a seminary, do you?" Arthur asked.
"I certainly do. All you need is the Truth," Bob asserted.
"Suppose you come across a Trinitarian argument not in 'The Word' booklet. What would you do then?"
"Reason it out."
"Turn to Genesis 18 and read the first three verses," Arthur instructed. "While you're looking that up, let me remind you that Trinitarians don't claim that they can prove their doctrine by any one Scripture (such as we can to disprove it) but that they need to take the Bible as a whole. So at most I can attempt to show one individual aspect of the Trinity by any one Scripture."
Bob found the verses and started reading, "’Afterward Jehovah appeared to him among the big trees of Mamre, while he was sitting at the entrance of the tent about the heat of the day. When he raised his eyes, then he looked and these three men were standing some distance from him. When he caught sight of them he began running to meet them from the entrance of the tent and proceeded to bow down to the earth. Then he said: 'Jehovah, if now, I have found favor in your eyes, please do not pass by your servant.'’"
"Thank you. Do you see what significance this has for a Trinitarian? To think that Jehovah appeared to Abraham as exactly three men is strong circumstantial evidence that Jehovah is three persons. And when you take that Scripture as part of a larger mass of Scriptures and reasoning that they use, it takes on an almost undeniably Trinitarian aspect. But it's a relatively simple one to refute. So let's hear you refute it, Bob."
"Well, first of all we know this wasn't Jehovah appearing to him, because Jesus says no one has ever seen God at any time. So it's three angels representing Jehovah."
"Then why does Abraham and the narration call these three men ‘Jehovah’?" Arthur persisted.
"I suppose it was the custom then to call a representative of someone by their master's name," Bob replied.
"You 'suppose'. But do you think this is enough to convince a minister? When he looks at you and slightly smiles at your explanation and then looks at your Bible study with raised eyebrows, that will be enough to convince him that you don't know what you're talking about. Then he'll read the Scripture again, pausing and explaining how well the Trinitarian doctrine fits the plain facts till there'll be not a doubt left in your study's mind."
"How's he gonna pause and explain the Trinity in this passage?"
"Easily. 'Look, friend,' he'll say, 'let's be reasonable and read what the Bible says rather than what we want it to say.' Then he'll emphasize 'Jehovah appeared to him,' then he'll read it again emphasizing the word 'appeared' this time, saying, 'You'll notice who it says "appeared" there: it says "Jehovah," doesn't it. Now if I appear somewhere does it mean that I send someone else and they appear there? No, it means I appear there. So when the Word of Truth says Jehovah appeared, we have no choice but to believe that it was Jehovah himself that appeared. Now how did he appear? As "three men." Why should Jehovah appear to mortal eyes as three men? Why not four, or six, or a hundred and thirteen? Could it be that Jehovah is three persons: Father, Son, and Holy Ghost? Well, all we can say is that it fits the facts here and elsewhere. We note too that it isn't correct to think that one of these men is Jehovah, because Abraham refers to them collectively as Jehovah and refers to Jehovah's "hearts" plural, not singular, showing that he believed Jehovah to be all three persons.' That's how he'll do it. And what will you say then?"
"I don't know," Bob said with disgust and fatigue.
"So you'd just give up and let him steal away your study, huh? A fine fighter for the Truth you turned out to be! What about you, Richard?"
"Oh, I'd think of something. It seems I work best under pressure. If an actual minister was threatening my study like that, the words would come to me. The main thing is to get him to stop talking long enough to put your own view across."
"But what would be the first thing you'd do, assuming now that he's stopped and the floor is all yours?"
"Well, I think Bob had the right tack: show how we know this wasn't actually Jehovah but angelic representatives, since Jesus said no one has seen God."
"That doesn't present as big a problem for them as you'd think it would, because they believe Jesus was God when he said that, and people were looking at him. So according to them, and in order to maintain their doctrine, they'd say that no one has seen God in all his glory. Men can only see material things, so God appeared as a man in Jesus and as three men to Abraham. But God is actually a spirit, so no man can see Him."
"So what's the right answer?" Ted asked.
"There isn't always a 'right' answer," Arthur replied, "But to refute this point of view about the three 'men' one merely has to turn to Hebrews 13:2 and ask the minister what it is referring to."
Ted found it first and read, "’Do not forget hospitality, for through it some, unknown to themselves, entertained angels.’"
Arthur concluded, "If he's honest, he'll admit that he's been taught (and taught correctly too, I might add) that this refers to Abraham’s entertaining the three 'men' in Genesis 18. So, trusting to the writer of Hebrews, they must've been angels, and since God isn't an angel, Abraham called them 'Jehovah' only as representatives of Jehovah."
"But this was far too easy," Arthur sighed, "and still you were stumped, Brother Morrow. So don't think you know everything there is to know to deal with a minister. The next time you come, after you've prepared yourself by studying everything you can on the Trinity, we'll see how well you do on the whole Trinitarian system. To give Richard the added incentive of an "actual situation" I will play the part of a minister attempting to prove the Trinity. It will fall largely to Richard to disprove what I say, and to you, Bob, to prove that God is ‘One’. Ted will be our page-turner, if he'll be so kind."
"I wouldn't miss it for the world," Ted said eagerly.
As they got up to leave, Arthur smiled at Bob and said, "Listen, brother, you must forgive my testing of you today and forget the harsh words -- they were a test too. This congregation is dear to my heart and I am willing to make myself an unlikable old grouch in order to protect it. You'll have four more chances to prove yourself to me, and I’ll have four more opportunities to apologize for judging you like this. But no matter what happens, we are friends and feel brotherly love towards one another."
"Yes," Bob agreed as he regained his composure, which he seemed to have lost the moment he entered the elderly man's presence. "I never felt otherwise. Only, 'tell me not in mournful numbers/ that truth is full of lies/ for the soul is dead that slumbers/ and fails to greet Truth's new sunrise.’"
"Ah, a poet," Arthur said to himself when they'd gone, "so I find your talent at last!"
"You two didn't seem to hit it off too well," Richard chuckled as he drove Bob home.
"It's just that he got on my nerves for some reason -- all that talk about Rutherford, I guess. He died before I was born, so what do I care what he was like? The Truth's still the truth."
"But it was so interesting," Ted exclaimed, "I could've listened to him for hours."
"You did," Bob commented dryly.
After dropping Bob off, Richard and Ted were free to talk of the strange tension between Bob and Arthur. Unfortunately, they could come to no conclusions about it, and so passed on to other matters.
"Remind me I want to come in and ask Vonnie about washing clothes," Ted said. "I've got a big pile up there now, and I want to see when she does her laundry so we're not fighting over the machine."
Richard groaned, "Didn't she tell you? She broke the machine last time she used it. She always overloads it. I've told her time and again not to, but that's a woman for you. Don't ever get married, not in this old system anyway. Do like Brother Olson."
"Well, I’ll just come in and see how everybody's doing then," Ted suggested, "You said they didn't feel well. And I can explain to Vonnie where you've been all day. Remember, we wanted to get home early!"
They pulled up to the curb and got out. "You'd better not come in," Richard decided, "she hates to be seen when she's not feeling well or if she hasn't spent at least an hour and a half in the bathroom fixing herself up."
"All right," Ted acquiesced, grabbing the handrail to go upstairs as Richard fitted his key into his door.
"Ted!" Vonnie called from inside, "Richard, is Ted with you? I've got something to tell him."
He started back down the stairs and found Richard standing inside the apartment holding the door open just enough so that he blocked the view into the room.
"Yes, I'm here," Ted called, trying to see around Richard and smiling at what he thought was some sort of joke or game of his.
"You wanna let me by so I can talk to Ted?" Vonnie asked irritably.
"Tell me and I’ll tell him," Richard replied.
"Ted," Vonnie yelled, "Your mother called and wants you to call her back. You can use our phone."
At this Richard stepped back into the hallway and pulled the door shut behind him. "Did you hear the message?" he asked. Ted nodded.
"I don't want you coming down and using our phone, though. Not that I object to your doing it, but then Paul does it all the time. He's always running down here and using the phone. I feel like I'm living in a phone booth. Besides, I don't even want you down here with Vonnie when I'm not home. So here's --" he fished around in his pocket and pulled out a handful of change, "here's a quarter. You can use the phone booth that's just a block and a half away."
The doorknob slipped from his backward grasp and flung open.
Vonnie emerged, saying: "Don't send him out on the street to make a call when we've got a perfectly good phone he can use right here. That's not a very Christian attitude."
"What happened to your eye?" Ted asked with great concern. She had a black eye that was swollen shut.
"I – he --"
"Never mind!" Richard shouted. And then, with resignation, he ushered them into the living room, "C'mon in then. She hurt her eye that’s all. Let's not hear anymore about it; it's too depressing. There's the phone."
Ted sat down on the sofa in wonder as Richard went into the bedroom and slammed the door behind him. Vonnie sat on the far end of the sofa and said, "Well, call your mother, then."
He did. She wanted to see him, 'preferably tomorrow'. He agreed since he needed to get the laundry done anyway.
As he hung up the phone Vonnie said, "Well, what are you going to do about it, brother?"
"About what?"
"What you see. I can't do anything, I have to be a submissive wife and I’ll always be such no matter what. But you're a brother, you can complain when you see something wrong," She was nervous and kept biting her fingernails. Ted was in a quandary and didn't know what to say.
Sherri burst out of Jeannie's bedroom and reported to her, "Hey Vonnie, I just heard Jeannie and Joey swearing."
"Jeannie and Joey!" Vonnie called. They arrived dragging their feet, terrified at what was to come.
"Richard!" she called, "it's the kids again!"
He emerged from the bedroom with an intense frown, "What happened this time?"
"Jeannie dared Joey to say the 'f-' word and Joey did it," Sherri reported.
"Is that true?" Richard demanded of Joey who nodded, already sobbing.
"Joey, go get my belt." Joey obeyed and walked into the kitchen where the special leather belt was kept these days in order to be as conspicuous as possible during mealtimes. Ted got up without a word and walked out. He heard the snapping sound and the wails of pain as he ascended the stairs.
Later that night, as Bobby and Joey climbed into their beds, Bobby told Ted, "They never said a word to Jeannie, and she was the cause of it all. She said it too. Do you think that's fair?"
"No, I don't think it's fair. But I can understand it. And I really wish I couldn't, because then it would be easier to do what I think I should do."
"What do you mean?" Bobby asked.
"Jeannie is their own child, the one they had together, plus she's the youngest, so she's bound to be spoiled. I don't know -- it doesn't make sense exactly, but it's something like that."
"Aren't you gonna tell someone?" Joey wailed, lying on his stomach.
"No. Richard brought me into the Truth and I know he's a good brother. He'll be an elder soon, and he can see how to run his family better than I can. I'm still half a kid myself, that's why I'm confused and sympathetic towards you guys. But I know he must be right and you'll thank him for training you upright… someday."
That's when Ted lost all their trust.
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Falling in Truth 
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Chapter 5: God
The following Sunday, a cool day for the end of June, Bob, Richard, and Ted visited Arthur again. After exchanging pleasantries, Ted volunteered the following experience: "Last Monday I had to go over to my mother's -- she's opposed -- and talk with her while I dropped off my dirty laundry. But it turned out to be an ambush. She had her minister waiting for me, Pastor Enright of the Free People's Baptist Church that I used to go to."
"What was his manner, and what did he talk to you about?" Arthur asked as he looked over at an awakening Mr. Jandle.
"He's always acted pretty wild in church, like he's real excited. But at the house he was different: like it was all an act that he does in church. He was overly polite and sorrowful for having lost a sheep, I guess. He started in saying we don't have the 'saving religion' because we don't glorify Jesus Christ the way he asked to be glorified in the Bible, 'with the same glory as the Father.'"
"What did you say to that?" asked Richard.
"I told him we do glorify Jesus but not with the same glory because the Bible actually said God shares his own glory with no one. And I was going to make him read that Scripture when he started getting more excited, sort of like he had that act to fall back on if reason eluded him. He said, 'But Jesus is God, that's why he can have the same glory as his Father,' and he quoted a Scripture where Jesus supposedly asks God to give him the same glory he has."
"Anything else?" Arthur asked.
"Yeah, but the rest was real stupid. He asked me why I thought people always died in threes and said that 'God took them to be with Him' so God must be three people since he always takes three to be with him at a time."
Richard laughed and Bob balked at this last statement. Arthur also smiled in disdain, asking Ted if there was anything else.
"Well, then he got into the soul and hell and everything."
"Yes, that's one of their favorite tricks," Arthur commented, "jumping around from subject to subject without leaving time for you to reply to any of their statements." He paused, and Ted took it for a cue to continue.
"Then my mother made us lunch, and I remembered that the Bible says we shouldn't pray with these people, so I said a swift, silent prayer and began eating. He stopped me with my mouth full and said, 'Don't you thank the Lord for your food? That's another way of telling the true religion from the false, Let's bow our heads…' And he started praying with such a forceful air that I bowed my head and even said 'Amen' at the end. I didn't tell him why I didn't want to pray with him as it seemed too insulting to say it.
"To top it all off, my mother brought out a piece of a birthday cake she made me two weeks ago and had kept in the freezer. Pastor Enright said, 'Well, well, isn't that nice of your mother? Praise the Lord for loving mothers who forgive their wayward sons.' I said I couldn't eat it as it was a pagan thing.
"That's when he started railing against me as if I was the Devil incarnate. He was really getting excited so I got up and made ready to run for the door if he got any worse. He was screaming, 'You need to accept the Lord Jesus into your heart! What good does being a Jehovah do you? What salvation can you feel in your soul with the Anti-Christ?'
"I fumbled for words, trembling at his glowing eyes when my mother spoke up: 'It's changed your whole life; you threw away all your Playboys and started reading the Bible for the first time.'
"Pastor Enright was thrown by this unexpected turn, and I was rather amazed by it too."
"Your mother loves you very much," Arthur smiled tenderly.
"Yeah, but when I left she gave me back the Truth book I had given her to read. She said she never opened it."
"That's unfortunate. But you know," Arthur said with a look of wisdom, "all the trees don't blossom at the same time. I have the feeling that she'll come around." Turning his attention to Bob and Richard, Arthur asked, "But what do you two think of this incident? Did Ted handle the situation as you would've?"
Bob cleared his throat and began, "I would've laughed when he mentioned people dying in threes and, looking him straight in the eye with a concerned look, I would've said, 'Do you really believe that?' That usually disconcerts them."
"You were right not to pray with him at first," Richard commended, "too bad he more or less forced you into it afterwards. But I can't see what would've been wrong in eating the birthday cake. Here in First Corinthians, chapter 10, verse 27 it says, 'If anyone of the unbelievers invites you and you wish to go, proceed to eat everything that is set before you, making no inquiry on account of your conscience.'"
"But doesn't it say somewhere that you're not supposed to eat with apostates?" Ted wondered.
"You're thinking of First Corinthians 5:11," Arthur responded, "but that refers to 'anyone called a brother' who is wicked. So that wouldn't apply to your minister. But we're getting off our subject.
"What I want you to see from this is that there are many Trinitarian arguments that the Society hasn't taught you to refute. I've been studying the subject for over eighty years and I never heard anyone use the 'three-people-dying' argument Ted's minister used."
"But that's just stupid," Bob commented.
"Yes, it is. But let's say that Ted managed to get away for a moment from the trap his mother set for him and managed to telephone you, Bob. He asks you to come over and help him put up a respectable defense against this eloquent speaker. You have a free afternoon so you oblige. Now, once you get there and hear his 'stupid argument', how do you reply to it?"
"Just as I said. I'd laugh and ask if he really believed that."
"That might be effective," Arthur replied, "but ridicule is not to be recommended. You might convince Ted's mother that her pastor was talking nonsense, but at the same time she might feel sorry for him because of your poking fun at his sincere beliefs. So it might backfire. A patient analysis of whatever 'proof' he puts forward would be better -- though in this case it seems ludicrous. First, you'd ask him what basis he has for believing that people die 'in threes'. Ask him how much of a time limit is allowable between the three individual deaths for the theory to hold; since obviously any three given individuals will die eventually. Then ask him how the individuals have to be related -- in a family, or famous, or on a city street. Explain to him that people are dying almost continuously all over the world, so there has to be certain limitations on 'who' and 'where' in order to come up with the number three. In the end you'll have shown that 'three' in this case is completely arbitrary. Four, nine, thirty-two--any number would work just as well.
"That takes care of the first part. For the second part you'd say: 'Even if we could somehow mean something when we say, 'people die in threes', I cannot see how this could have any possible relationship to God being three persons. Nor do I believe that God 'takes people to be with him' as if he could somehow be lonely and need a different person for each of his selves. That would show a disparate spirit in your Trinity too; the three persons weren't unified enough to even share the company of one person but required a person each.' This too is a sort of ridicule, but it's much gentler and less apt to backfire as it is more reason than mockery."
Arthur took a long deep breath and said, "But what I've decided to do for you gentlemen is to show you how to conduct yourselves in a semi-formal debate. Elders should be prepared for such things rather than just being able to shoot down 'straw-man arguments.'"
"What's that?" Ted inquired.
"A straw-man argument is where I'd take the easiest of my opponent's 'proofs' to disprove, For instance, I would say that the Trinitarians believe in the Trinity because people die in threes. That's the only reason of theirs I'd give, and then I'd refute it -- a straw man rather than one of their iron-clad arguments,"
"Are you saying," Bob asked in irritation, "that the Society has only presented the weakest arguments for the Trinity so they could easily disprove it?"
Arthur smiled and shut his eyes. Everyone had the feeling that he was about to shake his head "no" and explain his position better when he opened them and said, "Yes." Then he looked over at his roommate who sat up in bed. "Well hello, Mr. Jandle. Would you care to join our discussion? We could use another judge for our debate,"
"Ah, I have not attended a good debate for many a year. I'd be delighted. Just let me get my bathrobe on and I'll join you. But please introduce me to your friends as I do so."
Introductions were made, and Mr. Jandle sat on his old wooden rocking chair by the side of Arthur's bed.
"Resolved:" Arthur intoned, "that the God of the Bible, the Absolute Sovereign and Creator of the Universe is a Trinity. By Trinity I mean that God consists of God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Ghost. Yet there are not three Gods, but only one who is three persons. Do you gentlemen agree with this definition?"
"Of course not," Bob scowled.
"Wait a minute, Bob," Arthur chuckled, "I don't mean do you agree with the resolution that God is a Trinity. I'm only asking if you agree that when we use the word 'Trinity' this is what we mean."
"Oh, all right then, that's different," he was embarrassed, "yeah, that's what they mean, although it makes no sense."
"I will be taking the affirmative and you two will take the negative of the resolution. Now there is a real question as to whether it should be this way. If we worded the resolution 'that God is one person', you two would have the affirmative and I the negative."
[Abridged version: skip the debate (if you're not a Jehovah's Witness it can be boring and it's not essential to the story line)]
"What's the difference?" Richard asked.
"Well, the affirmative upholder gets to speak first and last. This is a distinct advantage meant to be accorded for the reason that to prove something is harder than to tear it down and disprove it.
"The Society agrees with this by saying the burden of proof lies with the Trinitarian and we should ask him to prove it to us. But these ministers are already trained speakers and controversialists, so why add this advantage to their position, I don't know."
"Well, if the Society says to let them speak first," Ted simplified the quandary, "we should let them speak first."
"Yes, you're quite right," Arthur hurriedly agreed, "We'll each have half an hour to present our arguments. When I'm through, Bob, it'll be your turn to state your reasons why God is one person rather than three. It isn't your main concern to attack my arguments but to state yours positively. However, where you can hit two birds with one stone, go ahead. Then it'll be my turn for rebuttal of your arguments and restating my case. Then Richard will have his turn at rebuttal of my statements--you'll have to be taking notes all through this and be preparing to attack my reasoning, Richard. Finally, I'll be allowed the last counter-rebuttal and final plea. That's the guiding framework of our debate--but we'll mix it up rather more than that and make it less formal, you'll see. At the end, Ted, whom we are trying to convince, will be our judge as well as Mr. Jandle. Let's begin then-- and remember you two, I'm the 'evil' family minister making a very unwelcome surprise visit at your Bible-study. My sole goal is to steal Ted back from the Truth, so put up a good fight for him. From now until the end of the debate I am a minister of Christendom."
Arthur turned his attention to Ted and began his act. "Ted, my poor, deceived friend, these delusional men you've been associating with talk a lot about Jehovah God and very little, I'm afraid, about Jesus Christ our Lord and Redeemer. That is because they fail to realize that Jehovah of the Old Testament (what they insist on calling the 'Hebrew Scriptures') is Jesus of the New Testament (the 'Christian Greek Scriptures' in their parlance). It is a little more complicated than that, but we'll get into those elaborations later. Right now I want to show you that what I say is true. Would you please take my King James Bible -- for their Bible isn't translated right -- and turn to Jeremiah 23:6 and read that for us?"
Ted snatched the Gideon Bible from the nightstand and leafed through it; "It says, 'In his days Judah will be saved, and Israel shall dwell safely: and this is his name whereby he shall be called, THE LORD OUR RIGHTEOUSNESS.'"
"Thank you. Now let me ask one of these Jehovah's Witnesses to tell us who this prophecy is talking about."
"It's a prophecy about the Messiah," Richard answered.
"And the Messiah is whom?"
"Jesus Christ."
"Thank you. Ted, let's see just what name this Scripture is calling Jesus Christ, Would you tell us, please, Mr. Jehovah's Witness what the King James Bible means when it writes the word 'LORD' in all capital letters?"
"It means Jehovah," Richard replied.
"Very good. Ted, would you read what the marginal reference says on this Scripture. You'll notice that just before the capitalized words there's a notation directing your attention to the margin. What does it say there?"
"It says 'Heb. Jehovah-tsidkenu.'"
"So the Messiah -- Jesus Christ, can be called by the name Jehovah according to this Scripture. For further collaboration of this I'd like you each to look up the following Scriptures: Ted, I want you to read Isaiah 40:3 from your King James Bible; Richard, I want you to read the same Scripture from your New World Translation; and Bob, I want you to read Matthew 3:3."
Ted began after he saw the others had found their Scriptures; "'The voice of him that crieth in the wilderness, 'Prepare ye the way of the LORD, make straight in the desert a highway for our God.''"
Richard took his cue and read, "Listen! Someone is calling out in the wilderness: 'Clear up the way of Jehovah, you people! Make the highway of our God through the desert plain straight.'"
Finally Bob read, "This, in fact, is the one spoken of through Isaiah the prophet in these words: 'Listen! Someone is crying out in the wilderness, "Prepare the way of Jehovah you People! Make his roads straight."'"
"I have no doubt," Arthur concluded, "that you gentlemen will agree that this is speaking of John the Baptist's heralding the coming of Jesus Christ. And then it follows, of course, that these Scriptures call Jesus Jehovah God since it is Jehovah 'our God' that John is said to prepare the way for."
Arthur continued, "Also, in Isaiah, chapter 6, we read where Isaiah says, 'In the year that King Uziah died I, however, got to see Jehovah, sitting on a throne…' and in verse 3, 'And this (angel) called to that one and said "Holy, holy, holy is Jehovah of armies. The fullness of the earth is his glory."' verse 5, 'And I proceeded to say: "Woe to me … for my eyes have seen the King Jehovah of armies himself!"' Finally, Isaiah Is given his commission to 'Make the heart of these people unreceptive, and make their very ears unresponsive, and paste their very eyes together that they may not see with their eyes and with their ears they may not hear, and that their own heart may not understand and that they may not actually turn back and get healing for themselves.'
"Now, the fulfillment of that vision is recorded for us in John, chapter 12. Verses 36-45 are of interest to us and I will quote the relevant parts. It is a comment on the unbelieving Jews:
"'Jesus spoke these things and went off… But although he had performed so many signs before them they were not putting faith in him… The reason why they were not able to believe is that again Isaiah said: "He has blinded their eyes and he had made their hearts hard, that they should not see with their eyes and get the thought with their hearts and turn around and I should heal them." Isaiah said these things because he saw his glory; and he spoke about him. All the same many even of the rulers actually put faith in him… However Jesus cried out and said: "He that puts faith in me puts faith, not in me only, but in him also that sent me; and he that beholds me beholds also him that sent me."'
"Now Ted, I ask you, is this Scripture from John quoting the Scripture from Isaiah and fulfilling it?"
"Yes."
"And does the Scripture in Isaiah say that he saw Jehovah?"
"That it does."
"And does the Scripture in John say that Isaiah saw Jesus?"
"Yes."
"Now just hang on a minute," Bob burst out, "it says nothing of the kind --"
"Dear brother," Arthur interrupted, "you are out of order. You may speak on this matter only in your rebuttal.
"Now, to continue, it's obvious that when John writes that 'Isaiah saw his glory' he is referring to Jesus Christ. If you go down the line on what John is writing here, you'll note that every use of the word 'he' or 'his' or 'him' is in reference to Jesus Christ. The subject of this paragraph is the putting of faith in Jesus Christ -- the Pharisees already believed in Jehovah God, but not in Jesus because they didn't realize they were one in the same as Jesus is trying to point out to them here: 'Whoever sees me sees Jehovah God who sent me; and whoever believes in me also believes in Jehovah.' The only explanation of this curious phenomenon is that Jesus is in fact Jehovah.
"Since Isaiah says that he saw Jehovah and John says Isaiah saw Jesus, there are two possibilities: either Jesus is Jehovah or the Bible contradicts itself. Does the Bible contradict itself, Ted?"
"No."
"Then Jesus must be Jehovah. The conclusion is inescapable. But there is still further proof, as if this wasn't enough. The entire first chapter of Hebrews reveals the coexistent relationship between the Father and the Son. But as for showing that Jesus is Jehovah, we need concentrate only on verses 10 through 12. Richard, would you be kind enough to read that for us?"
"Okay. It says, 'You at the beginning, O Lord, laid the foundations of the earth itself, and the heavens are the work of your hands. They themselves will perish, but you yourself are to remain continually; and just like an outer garment they will all grow old, and you will wrap them up just like a cloak, as an outer garment; and they will be changed, but you are the same, and your years will never run out.'"
"Now who do you suppose this is speaking of?" Arthur asked.
"Jehovah," Ted answered.
"Guess again; it's Jesus. If you look through the preceding verses of Hebrews, you'll see that fact: 'God… has spoken to us by means of a Son… through whom he made the system of things. He is the reflection of his glory and the exact representation of his very being, and he sustains all things by the word of his power he has become better than the angels… for example to which one of the angels did he ever say "You are my son"' etc. Note verse 8, 'but with reference to the Son' and this reference is continued in verse 10 by the simple conjunction 'And' where the verse Richard read begins. Would either of you gentlemen dispute that this Scripture is being applied to Jesus?"
"No, we'd have to go along with that," Richard agreed, "there's no reason for dispute on that point; it's perfectly clear."
"Fine. But now let's see where this verse which is applied to Jesus is being quoted from. If you turn in your Bibles to Psalm 102 and stanzas 25-27, you'll see the same words as used in Hebrews, starting with 'Long ago you laid the foundations of the earth itself' and ending with 'But you are the same, and your own years will not be completed.' Do any of you doubt that this is the Scripture quoted in Hebrews and applied to Jesus?"
"No," Richard acquiesced, "that's the correct quote all right."
"Fine. Now, Ted, would you read the superscription to this Psalm, please?"
"It reads, 'A prayer of the afflicted in case he grows feeble and pours out his concern before Jehovah himself.'"
"Before whom?" Arthur asked.
"Before Jehovah himself," Ted replied.
"Fine, And how does it start out?"
"'O Jehovah, do hear my prayer--'"
"Good. You'll notice that verse 18 states that this is written for the future generation when the name of Jehovah will be declared in Jerusalem. Verse 24 reads, 'I proceeded to say: "O my God, do not take me off at the half of my days, your years are throughout all generations,"' and then comes the part Hebrews quotes. Does it seem to you, Ted, that the Psalmist is directing these words, quoted in Hebrews, to Jehovah God?"
"Without a doubt."
"And to whom does the writer of Hebrews indicate that these same words were directed towards?"
"God's Son," Ted gulped, as he realized the full implications of the admission before Arthur continued to point them out.
"Then it would be a safe assumption," Arthur concluded, "that the writer of Hebrews and Isaiah are referring to Jehovah-Jesus. Or to put it more succinctly, that the Jehovah of the Old Testament is the Jesus of the New."
"Again, when Jesus says (in Matthew 23:39) that he has come 'in the name of the Lord', we know that this name is Jehovah. And in Matthew 28:19 he further shows us that the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost all share the same name; 'Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost.' You'll notice that 'name' is singular, referring to all three. It does not say 'names'. Therefore, Jesus and the Holy Ghost each have the name Jehovah as much as the Father has, although the Bible often speaks of only one particular member of the Trinity by the word 'Jehovah' or 'God' to the exclusion of the other two. There is nothing amiss in this -- it is one of those 'elaborations ' I mentioned earlier -- you must think of them being Jehovah the Father, Jehovah the Son, and Jehovah the Holy Spirit; yet there are not three Jehovahs but only one. So when we use the name, we may refer to one or two or all three members of the Trinity."
"If we bothered to look it up, we'd find that Nahum 1:2 tells us that 'Jehovah is a God exacting exclusive devotion.' I assume we all know what 'exclusive' means here. But to clarify, we'll have Ted read Isaiah 42:8 for us."
Ted found the Scripture and read: "'I am Jehovah. That is my name; and to no one else shall I give my own glory, neither my praise to graven images.'"
"This being so, if we were to find someone receiving the 'glory' due only Jehovah, and Jehovah approving this action, we'd have to come to the conclusion that the person was himself Jehovah; and that the person could rightfully claim 'That is my name'. Keeping this in mind, you'll recall the Scripture in Hebrews said that God's Son is the reflection of God's glory and the exact representation of his very being. But how can God give his Son his glory in this way unless his Son is also Jehovah?
"How can it be that John 5:23 in the New English Version tells us: 'It is His will that all should pay the same honor to the Son as to the Father. To deny honor to the Son is to deny it to the Father who sent him'?
"Why do we read in Revelation 5:12 of the angels saying, 'Worthy is the Lamb that was slain to receive power, and riches, and wisdom, and strength, and honor, and glory, and blessing,'? It's fitting that they should do so, actually, since God commanded them to in Hebrews 1:6 where we read, 'And again, when He bringeth in the first begotten into the world, he saith, "And let all the angels of God worship him."' Now, if Jehovah God exacts exclusive devotion, a worship which can include no others, it must be that this first begotten Son, whom he commands the angels to worship, is not in fact an 'other' but is, in a way surpassing our understanding, Jehovah God himself."
"This ends my first proof," Arthur declared. "In it I have set out and compared Scriptures which demand the Jehovah-Jesus conclusion on pains of contradiction. The proof is complete in itself, but I will follow it with three more. First, that Jesus is co-equal with the Father and the Holy Ghost. Second, that Jesus is co-eternal with the Father and the Holy Ghost. And third, that Jesus is co-existent with the Father and the Holy Ghost." Arthur closed his eyes for a few moments to organize the wealth of information in his mind which formed the framework for his next arguments.
"In John 5:18 we read, 'Therefore the Jews sought the more to kill him, because he not only had broken the Sabbath, but said also that God was his Father, making himself equal with God.' The Jews could understand the full implications of what Jesus was saying to them in their language much better than we can today. They knew that to be the Son of God was to be 'equal with God.'
"Philippians 2:6 shows us that the Christians of that time also viewed Jesus in his pre-human form as being equal to God; 'who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God.'
"Colossians 1:19 tells us that it pleased the Father that in Jesus 'should all fullness dwell.' If Jesus really possesses 'all fullness', it must include Godship. And Colossions 2:9 backs this up by saying, 'For in him (Jesus) dwelleth all the fullness of the Godhead bodily.'
"In John 10:30 we read of Jesus saying, 'I and the Father are one.' Now I realize that the Jehovah's Witnesses often use this against us as a straw-man argument because all one has to do is turn to John 17:11 and read where Jesus prays that his disciples may be 'one' in the same way that he and his Father are one. Since Christians are not 'one' by being a Trinity, they assume this overthrows our use of this Scripture. However, it merely helps us to understand it more deeply. We know that the way in which Christians are 'one' is that they are equal members of the body of Christ. No matter what sex, nationality, or office they might hold, they are equal. If Jesus and his Father are one in the same way, it follows that they are equal even though they hold different 'offices'.
"Another proof of equality is to be found in John 17:10. Would you read that for us, Bob?"
Bob briefly contorted his face to show his reluctance, but he obeyed and flipped open his Bible to read, "and all my things are yours and yours are mine, and I have been glorified among them."
"Thank you. Now the point here is that everything the Father owns, Jesus says he owns also. We would expect this only of equal partners. If Jesus were in any way inferior to his Father, it would mean that his Father owned something (such as glory) that Jesus didn't own, but Jesus assures us this isn't so. He says quite clearly 'all things' the Father has the Son has also. This includes authority, Godhood, the right to worship, titles, dealings with mankind, etc.
"A comparison of Scriptures will prove this point:
 
Psalm 10:16: 'Jehovah is king forever and ever.'

Luke 1:31-33: 'Jesus … shall reign over the house of Jacob forever; and of his kingdom there will be no end.'
 
Psalm 83:18: 'Thou alone, whose name is Jehovah, art the Most High over all the earth.'

Matthew 28:18: 'And Jesus came unto them and spake unto them saying, All authority hath been given unto me in heaven and earth.'
 
Exodus 3:14: 'And God said unto Moses, "I AM THAT I AM" and he said, "thus shalt thou say unto the children of Israel, 'I AM hath sent me unto you.'

John 8:58: 'Jesus said unto them, "Verily, verily, I say unto you, before Abraham was born, I AM.'
 
Psalm 23:1: 'Jehovah is my shepherd.'

John 10:11: 'I (Jesus) am the good shepherd.'
 
Psalm 27:1: 'Jehovah is my light.'

John 8:12: 'I (Jesus) am the light of the world.'
 
Psalm 18:2: 'Jehovah is my rock.'

1 Corinthians 10:4: 'and the rock was Christ.'
 
Isaiah 44:6: 'Thus saith Jehovah, "I am the first, and I am the last; and besides me there is no God."'

Revelation 1:17: 'I (Jesus) am the first and the last.'
 
Isaiah 33:22: 'For Jehovah is our judge.'

2 Timothy 4:1: 'Christ Jesus, who shall judge the living and the dead.'
 
Isaiah 43:11: 'I, even I, am Jehovah; and besides me there is no saviour.'

Acts 4:10, 12: 'Jesus Christ… And in none other is there salvation: For neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, wherein we must be saved.'
 
"Those Scriptures should be more than enough for you. But now as for the equality of the Holy Ghost with the Father and Son, I wish to show, first of all, that the Bible calls him God: In Acts 5:3,4 we read: 'But Peter said, 'Ananias, why hath Satan filled thy heart to lie to the Holy Spirit?… Thou hast not lied unto men, but unto God.''
"And, again, in 1 Corinthians 3:16: 'Know ye not that ye are a temple of God, and the Spirit of God dwelleth in you?'
"In these instances Peter and Paul point out the same thing: Peter shows us that Ananias lying to the Holy Spirit is Ananias lying to God. Paul shows us that God dwelling in our bodies as temples is the Holy Spirit dwelling in our bodies as temples. It is seen, then, that the Holy Spirit is God.
"Now I wish to show the equality of the Spirit with the Son and Father, I'm sure that you'll agree the three main attributes of God are omnipotence (being all-powerful), omniscience (being all-knowing), and omnipresence (being all-present). If any being possesses these three attributes, that being is God. You do not doubt that the Father possesses them, but the Bible shows that the Son and Holy Spirit possess them as well.
"The following Scriptures prove my point as to omnipresence: 'And lo, I (Jesus) am with you always, even unto the end of the world.' (Matthew 28:20).
"Whither shall I go from thy Spirit? Or whither shall I flee from thy presence? If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in Sheol, behold, thou art there. If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me.' (Psalm 139:7-10).
"The following Scriptures prove my point as to omniscience: 'Lord (Jesus) thou knowest all things,' (John 21:17).
"'The Spirit searches all things, yea, the deep things of God.' (1 Corinthians 2:10).
"The following Scriptures prove my point as to omnipotence: 'All authority hath been given unto me (Jesus) in heaven and on earth.' (Matthew 28:18).
"'The Holy Spirit shall come upon thee, and the power of the Most High shall overshadow thee.' (Luke 1:35).
"'But ye shall receive power when the Holy Spirit is come upon you.' (Acts 1:8).
"Much more, of course, could be said as to the co-equality of the three, but I must move on to my next point -- their co-eternity. You will recognize as a matter of course that these arguments are often hard to separate into three unique divisions. Sometimes an argument proving co-equality will also prove co-eternity, and so forth. So please bear with me if I repeat myself occasionally."
Bob sighed deeply at this and fidgeted in his chair, indicating that he was far from bearing up with it all.
"First of all, then, as to Jesus: In order to prove that he has existed from eternity it is necessary to show that he had no beginning; he was not created at some time, but was always in existence. We can reason out that this must be the case through the Scriptures.
"John 3:16, among others, calls Jesus 'God's only begotten Son.' What does this mean? In Job 38:7 we find a reference to 'all the sons (plural) of God.' And this, you'll agree, refers to the angels. But how can there be 'sons' if Jesus is the 'only begotten'? It must be that these other sons (the angels) were not begotten. Would you agree to that?"
"Yes," Richard replied, "the angels were not begotten, only Jesus was."
"The angels were created, were they not?"
"Yes," he agreed, "they were created."
"Then in order for there to be a difference between Jesus' sonship and that of the angels, there must be a difference between being created and being begotten. Therefore, being begotten is not the same as being created; and so, Jesus was not created.
"One other reasoning on his sonship leads us to the same conclusion: a son must be taken from the substance of his father, otherwise he is not a true son, but an adopted one. In 1 John 5:20 we are told that Jesus is a 'true Son'. Since creation is not derived from God's substance but is made 'out of nothing', God's Son must not be a creation.
"If these reasonings are correct, and Jesus was not created, we should not be surprised to find Bible passages that show him as having no beginning. We do find such:
"In Micah 5:2 we read of Jesus 'whose goings forth have been from of old, from everlasting.'
"In Hebrews 7:3: 'Having neither beginning of days nor end of life the Son of God.'
"In Isaiah 9:6 he is awesomely called the 'Everlasting Father'.
"Also in Revelation 2:8 Jesus calls himself 'the first and the last,' referring to his eternity.
"As for the eternity of the Holy Spirit, let me ask you this: is the Holy Spirit something God created? You can search all your Watchtower publications and never find an answer or even see the question raised. Even your book Holy Spirit--The Force Behind the Coming New Order in all of its 192 pages supposedly about the Holy Spirit manages to ignore the problem completely. Do you want to know, Ted, why the Jehovah's Witnesses are so afraid to tackle this question? It is because if they answer, 'Yes, the Holy Spirit was created by Jehovah,' they'll have to repudiate what they teach about Jesus being God's first creation. (Since they teach that God made all things, including Jesus, through the agency of the Holy Spirit, the Holy Spirit would've had to be created prior to Jesus.) On the other hand, if they say, 'No, the Holy Spirit was not created by Jehovah,' it proves my point that the Holy Spirit is co-eternal with the Father. It is clear that either way their position on the Spirit is untenable; one is forced to think of him as co-eternal, or one cannot think of him at all. Paul agrees with me in his letter to the Hebrews, chapter 9, verse 4 where he calls him 'the eternal Spirit.'
"Finally, as to the co-existence of the three: First of all you must be aware that the Hebrew word for God is 'Elohim, which is a plural, indicating that God is more than one person.
"Second, you know that man was created in God's image. But Genesis 1:26 and other Scriptures show us God's plurality: 'And God (Elohim) said, "Let us make man in our image.' And how did he make us in his image? Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 2:10 that we consist of three co-existent entities: 'spirit, soul, and body.'
"In Genesis 18:1,2 Jehovah reveals himself as being three persons; 'And Jehovah appeared unto him… and he lifted up his eyes and looked, and lo, three men stood against him.'
"In John 8:16, as in many other Scriptures, Jesus tells us that his Father is in him: 'for I am not alone, but I and the Father that Sent me.'
"2 Corinthians 5:19 backs this up saying, 'that God was in Christ.'
"As for the Holy Spirit, the Watchtower again would have no real objection to admitting that he is co-existent with the Father. Your publications have likened the Holy Spirit to God's arm, which, of course, co-exists with the body. That the Holy Spirit is also co-existent with the Son is shown from the following Scriptures:
"Romans 8:9: 'But ye are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if so be that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you. But if any man hath not the Spirit of Christ, he is none of his.' The Spirit of God and the Spirit of Christ are used interchangeably here without a second thought to show that they are one in the same Holy Spirit and accomplish the one objective, namely: belonging to God in spirit.
"In Galatians 4:6 we read, 'And because ye are sons, God sent forth the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, "Abba, Father."' You see, the Holy Spirit makes us sons of God precisely because he is the Spirit of the Son of God.
"When I was discussing co-equality, you'll remember that I used Jesus' wonderful statement 'I and the Father are one.' I use it again here to prove co-existence. It's not that two people cannot be one in other ways (for example, a husband and wife are one -- still even their 'oneness' involves a sort of co-existence), but this is the way the Bible shows Jesus meant their oneness. Christians, as we agreed, are 'one' in the same way as the Father and Son are 'one'. So let's allow the Bible to interpret itself and tell us how Christians are 'one': "In Romans 12:5 we accordingly read, 'so we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and severally members one of another.'
"So, since Christians are 'one body' in Christ, so too Christ and the Father are one body. If this be true together with the truths we have learned about the Trinity, it follows that Christians are members of the Holy Spirit and the Father as well, since all are co-existent one with another. That is why we read such things in First Corinthians chapter six as 'Know ye not that your bodies are members of Christ? Or know ye not that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit which is in you which ye have from God?'
"In conclusion I'd like to relate five separate actions in which we discover the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit working together as one body in eternal equal partnership:

First, in creation:

 'Thou art Jehovah, even thou alone hast made heaven and earth.' (Nehemiah 9:6).

'All things were made through him (the Word); and without him was not anything made that hath been made.' (John 1:3).

'Thou sendeth forth thy Spirit, they are created.' (Psalm 104:30)
 
Second, in sanctification:

'I am Jehovah who sanctifies you.' (Leviticus 22:32).

'But ye were sanctified, but ye were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, …

…and in the Spirit of our God.' (1 Corinthians 6:11).
 
Third, in teaching:

'And all your sons will be persons taught by Jehovah.' (Isaiah 54:13).

'If so be that you heard him and were taught by him, even as truth is in Jesus.' (Ephesians 4:21).

'But the comforter, even the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.' (John t4:26).
 
Fourth, in resurrection:

'Jesus … whom God raised up.' (Acts 2:24). 'For as the Father raiseth the dead and giveth them life, …

…even so the Son also giveth life to whom he will.' (John 5:21). 'Jesus answered and said unto them, "Destroy this temple, and in three days I will raise it up" he spake of the temple of his body.' (John 2:19,21).

'But if the Spirit of him that raised up Jesus from the dead…' (Romans 8:11).
 
Fifth, in knowledge:

 'No one knoweth the Son, save the Father; …

…neither doth any know the Father, save the Son.' (Matthew 11:27).

'For the Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God.' (1 Corinthians 2:10).
 
"But now I see my time is done and I must turn the floor over to Brother Morrow," Arthur concluded.
Bob leaned back in his chair and stretched both arms over his head making a 'poof' sound through distended cheeks rather than a yawn, and said, "Boy, I thought you'd never get done with all that nonsense. Where did you learn all that baloney?"
"You're wasting your valuable time by expecting me to reply to such disparagement," Arthur answered calmly, closing his eyes.
"Well, it certainly won't take me half an hour to prove that God's one person. Especially since I don't have to reply to your sophistry."
At this point the same nurse they'd seen last week came in. "Oh, you're up," she remarked to Mr. Jandle, stepping over to his chair and feeling his pulse. "How are you feeling?"
"Just fine, thank you," he replied showing a large trace of disgust in his voice so that the others wouldn't think he actually required such attention.
"Now, now. You know the doctor's orders; we just have to take your blood pressure again. I hope I'm not disturbing anything," she added with an odd look about the room as if her mere presence might send Arthur's wall of books tumbling down. No one ever had this many visitors, and she suddenly felt herself out of place like an intruder in some family discussion at a private home.
"Not at all," Arthur reassured her, "Bob was just telling us that he didn't need all his time anyway." He left it at that, opening his eyes to witness the perplexed look that he intended to leave for someone else to wipe off the nurse's face.
"We're just having a debate on the subject of the Trinity, my dear," Jandle wiped.
"Oh, I see. That's all beyond me, I guess," she confessed as she skillfully pumped up Jandle's arm.
"Not at all," Arthur wheezed as he shut his eyes once more with a sly smile, "I'm sure Bob will make it very, very simple for us."
"Ahem," Bob cleared his throat as he stood up to meet the challenge, and seeing an opportunity for witnessing, he looked at the nurse and said: "We'd be honored to have you attend our 'little discussion', if you could. We need a third judge in case there's a tie."
"Well, yes, I can stay for a while, I guess. I don't have to look in on Mrs, Weber until three."
"We're delighted to have you then," he smiled. "We, as Jehovah's Witnesses hold with common-sense as well as with Divine Reason and Revelation that Jehovah God is only one person. We cannot persuade ourselves that the Supreme Being suffers from the mental disease commonly known as 'multiple personality.' Nor can we force ourselves to skip over such clear statements in God's own Word as that which we find in Zechariah 14:9. Perhaps Ted would be kind enough to look that up for us and read it aloud."
Ted spent some moments finding the slightly obscure minor prophet. When he did, he leaned over to the nurse who had sat down beside him and pointed the Scripture out to her. He had thought to ask her name -- she looked to be in her mid-twenties -- but he thought better of it: "'And Jehovah must become king over all the earth. In that day Jehovah will prove to be one, and his name one.'"
Bob smiled and asked: "How many persons will Jehovah prove himself to be, Ted?"
"One."
"But instead of waiting for that day," Bob mused, "we had better accept this proof today! Perhaps Zechariah is too hard for Trinitarians to find, for I'm sure they never read this Scripture -- how could they and remain Trinitarians?
"Mister Olson," Bob's voice was rapidly raising in pitch so that he sounded like an old-fashioned orator about to make a tremendous point (and his purposely taking advantage of the situation to refer to Brother Olson as 'mister' showed his low respect for the man) "in all your great collection of books, do you perchance have a copy of the Amplified New Testament?"
"I have the entire Amplified Bible," Arthur replied. "Ted, get it off the third shelf there for Mister Morrow."
"Yes, get it," Bob was angered that Arthur returned his jibe so quickly, and his pitch went up another octave, "and when you've got it, read for us Galatians 3:20."
Ted obeyed and read, "Now a go-between (intermediary) has to do with and implies more than one party -- there can be no mediator with just one person. Yet God is (only) one person -- and he was the sole party (in giving that promise to Abraham. But the Law was a contract between two, God and Israel; its validity was dependent on both)."
"Thank you very much," Bob gloated as he sat back down, "I need say nothing further. You may consider the case closed unless you want to repeat this same Scripture several dozen times till the end of my time limit. Sorry for you, though, Mr. Trinitarian, it'll always say the same thing -- God is only one person. We noticed that in all your 30 minutes of verbiage you never showed us one Scripture stating that God was three persons -- nor could you have since the Bible does not contradict itself as you've already agreed. If you look back carefully over your mountain of misplaced Scriptures, you'll see that they are all capable of being put right so as to harmonize with this Scripture which proves that God is one person. But that task, fortunately, falls to Brother Johnson."
There was a minute of silence that Arthur finally broke, "you can't take the time you're saving now and apply it to your rebuttal, so you'd better use it while you can. I'm sure you can think of something to say for God's unity other than two Scriptures,"
"Yes, but I needn't," Bob replied, desperately attempting to conceal his anxiety about continuing, "the whole thing's proven by those two Scriptures, and nothing more need be said. If Richard wants to add anything, he's free to."
"Yes, well, I suppose I should put our time to good use," Richard said, "although I've been busily getting my notes together for the rebuttal. I'll see what I can say in a positive way for Jehovah's oneness.
"First of all, I'd note that Jesus always calls his Father 'God', but the Father never calls the Son 'God'. You'll notice this in Revelation 3:12 --" Richard, not possessing Arthur's remarkable memory was forced to laboriously look up every Scripture he mentioned, "where Jesus, even in his glory says, 'The one that conquers -- I will make him a pillar in the temple of my God… and I will write upon him the name of my God and the name of the city of my God, the new Jerusalem which descends out of heaven from my God.'
"If Jesus were an equal God with his Father, we should expect the Father to call him God. Perhaps you'll say that he does but that it is omitted from the Bible. Very well, granting this, would they not also have to call the Holy Spirit 'God'? Of course they would. But what would that make them? What do you call a person who has more than one God? You call them by the derogatory name of polytheist. The Father, recognizing the Son as God and the Holy Spirit as God, has two Gods -- the same is true for the others, and hence you make them all polytheists!
"How far all of that strays from the simple Bible teaching; the teaching of Jesus Christ, who called his Father 'the only true God'.
"In 1 Corinthians 8:6 we learn; 'There is actually to us one God the Father, out of whom all things are, and we for him; and there is one Lord, Jesus Christ.' Here would've been an excellent opportunity for Paul to explain the Trinity! He could've said, 'There is actually to us one God: the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit;' but he didn't. He told us that our God consists only of the Father.
"In 1 Timothy 2:5 we see again that Jesus is not God: 'For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, a man, Christ Jesus.' Jesus is neither the 'men' nor the 'God' mentioned here; he is the mediator between the two.
"John 1:18 tells us that Jesus is the one who 'explained God to us,' This explanation of his was directed to the Jews who did not believe in any sort of Trinity, So, if God were a Trinity, we should expect Jesus to have spent a lot of time explaining this aspect of God to them. That he is absolutely silent on the subject is strong enough proof against the doctrine. But that he actually taught the opposite of it -- taught the same 'one God' doctrine that they already held to -- leaves us without the shadow of a doubt as to God's true nature.
When, in Mark 12:29 he was asked what the greatest commandment was, did he reply, 'You must believe that God is a Trinity of co-equal, co-existent members'? No, he said, 'The first is, "Hear O Israel, Jehovah our God is one Jehovah!"' The Scribe he was speaking with responded, 'He is One, and there's no other than He.' Either Jesus utterly failed in his mission to 'explain God' or God is not a Trinity.
"In Ephesians 4:4-6 we learn that there is 'one God and Father of all persons, who is over all and through all and in all.' If the Father is the 'one God', it excludes the Son from being such. And if the Father is head 'over all', then he is over the Son. In proof of this last statement, we read in John 14:28 where Jesus quite plainly says, 'The Father is greater than I.' If one person is greater than another, how can they be equal? It's quite impossible.
"But, you may object, he said this while on earth in the form of a lowly man. True, but what do we read in 1 Corinthians 3:23, written after his ascension to full glory? We read, 'Christ, in turn, belongs to God.' And, again, in 1 Corinthians 11:3, 'The head of the Christ is God.'
"We know that Jesus is not God because we know that Jesus dwelt on earth, was seen by men, was tempted, and died. I know you wouldn't doubt any of these statements except maybe for the temptation part; if you need reassurance on this, you can look it up in Luke 4:13 and Hebrews 4:15. Now, the point is, the Bible clearly teaches that God cannot do any of these things:
"'But will God truly dwell upon the earth? Look! The heavens, yes the heaven of the heavens themselves cannot contain you' (1 Kings 8:27)
"'No man has seen God at any time.' (John 1:18)
"'God cannot be tempted with evil' (James 1:13)
"'O my God, my Holy One, you do not die.' (Habakkuk 1:12).
"It is obvious then that Jesus cannot be God since he has done so many things the Bible tells us God cannot do.
"As what I just showed you absolutely disproves any doctrine of co-equality or co-existence between Father and Son, I should now like to take a moment to disprove co-eternity." Richard had admired Arthur's style so much that he was now sounding astonishingly like him.
"The very designation 'Son of God' proves that Jesus is not co-eternal with the Father. Is a son as old as his father? Isn't it rather that a son is always and without exception younger than his father? So, then, if words mean anything at all when the Bible uses them, calling Jesus the 'Son' of God automatically excludes him from having always existed, for then he'd be as old as his Father -- an absurdity! Accordingly, we read quite clearly in the Bible where Jesus, personified as Wisdom, says, 'Jehovah himself produced me as the beginning of his way, the earliest of his achievements of long ago.' (Proverbs 8:22) We read in Colossians 1:15 where he is called, 'The first-born of all creation,' and in Revelation 3:14, 'The beginning of the creation by God,'
"The same reasoning may hold for the fact that Jesus is the High Priest in his mediation between God and man. A priest is never as great as the God he serves.
"The same could be said of his anointing. 'Christ' and 'Messiah' both mean 'anointed', and it is clear that the anointed one is not as great as he that does the anointing. The one who confers the honors must always remain greater than he who receives them."
At this point Richard reached into his briefcase, and after rummaging for a few moments, came out with a spiral notebook which he leafed through, saying, "I have some quotes here which I've collected over the years from the Watchtowers and various reference books of mine. Some of these on the Trinity should be of interest in rounding out our part.
"The first is from the Encyclopedia Britannica Micropedia, under the title 'Trinity':
"'Neither the word "trinity" nor the explicit doctrine as such, appears in the New Testament. Nor did Jesus and his followers intend to contradict the Shema in the Old Testament "Hear O Israel, the Lord our God is one Lord." (Deut. 6:4) The doctrine developed gradually over several centuries and through many controversies.' It goes on to speak of a 'need to interpret the Biblical teaching to Greco-Roman paganism.'
"In The Origin and Evolution of Religion (1923, p. 336-348) by Prof. E. Washburn Hopkins, we read:
"'To Jesus and Paul the doctrine of the Trinity was apparently unknown: at any rate they say nothing about it. The word "trinity" is not used before 180-200… Plotinus (205-270) evolved a form of Platonism which results in a trinity not dissimilar to that of orthodox Buddhism and Brahmanism. His theology, which was called Platonic, had no little influence on the leaders of Christian opinion.'
"The New Catholic Encyclopedia, Vol, 14, under 'Trinity, Holy,' admits:
"'It was only then (the fourth century) that what might be called the definitive Trinitarian dogma "one God in three persons" became thoroughly assimilated into Christian life and thought. From what has been seen thus far the impression could arise that the Trinitarian dogma is in the last analysis a late 4th century invention. In a sense, this is true… It is not, as already seen, directly and immediately the Word of God.'
"Lastly, in The Formation of Christian Dogma by Martin Werner (1957), we read:
"'The primitive Christian conception of the Messiah as a high angelic being also explains for us the fact which is of great doctrinal importance, that in the primitive Christian era there was no sign of any kind of Trinitarian problem or controversy, such as later produced violent conflicts in the church. The reason for this undoubtedly lay in the fact that, for primitive Christianity, Christ was… a being of the high celestial angel-world, who was created and chosen by God.'
"The choice, then, it would seem, is between Jesus, Paul, and the early Christians on one side and the apostate Trinitarians on the other. We Jehovah's Witnesses try to reflect primitive Christianity in every way in our beliefs as well as our preaching activities rather than those who yielded to Greek and Roman paganism and tried to mix them in with the Holy Bible. That's all I have to say for now, as the rest of my notes will be more appropriate for the rebuttal period. But I want you to remember this last quote about Jesus being thought of as an angel since I'll have recourse to it later."
"Well then, since you gentlemen are content to give up the floor," Arthur nodded graciously as he opened up his eyes to end his concentration on their every word, "It's time for my first rebuttal. But first, I should like to ask Ted what his opinion is so far of the debate."
"No, no. Mustn't do that," interrupted Mr. Jandle, "you'll influence the rest of us that way. You shouldn't let the judges speak till the end of it, at least so far as making a judgment goes."
"You're quite right; I'm sorry. But, my dear," he said as he turned to the nurse, "I think you have an appointment now with Mrs. Weber; it's three o'clock."
"Oh, yes. You're right. Well, I'll see if I can't look in again a little later and see what you decide. It's quite interesting, and I always try to have an open mind about these things…" she trailed off as she left the room.
"To begin at the beginning," Arthur began, "Zechariah 14:9 was the first Scripture you twisted to your own ends. What does it really mean to say that 'Jehovah will prove to be one, and his name one'? We note immediately that it does not say one 'person' however hard you try to make it. Let's take a parallel Scripture into account that we've already had frequent recourse to: the one where Jesus prays that his disciples 'may be one, just as we are one.' No one believes that all Christians are one person. So the way Jesus and his Father are 'one' is not by being one person, but by being co-equal and co-existent as I've already proven. I've also shown that Jesus is Jehovah. So now when we come upon this Scripture which says that Jehovah will prove to be 'one', all we have to do is keep in mind what we've already agreed as to this definition of 'oneness'--it means one God, not one person.
As for his name being one, this is easily accounted for by something else I've already said: the three members of the Godhead all possess and share the one singular name, Jehovah.
"You made a big stink over Galatians 3:20, Bob. Funny how you had to resort to a paraphrased translation in order to bring out your point. The word 'person' is found only in that translation, and then in parentheses to show that it's not strictly in the original manuscript. If we look at the context of this Scripture, we see that it's speaking of the Mosaic Law and how it was transmitted 'through angels by the hand of a mediator.' Why a mediator? If there's just one party or 'person' involved then there's no need of a mediator. Or if one party is laying down the law to another party which has no say in the matter, no mediator between them is needed. This was the case with God's promise to Abraham, but giving the Law to Israel required their active participation to carry out their part of the agreement.
"So we read Galatians 3:20 in full: 'Now a go-between (intermediary) has to do with and implies more than one party -- there can be no mediator with just one person. Yet God is (only) one person -- and He was the sole party (in giving that promise to Abraham. But the Law was a contract between two, God and Israel; its validity was dependent on both.)'
"What real difficulties does this present to the Trinitarian? None whatsoever! As I've already said, 'person' here is not strictly in the original Greek; there it simply says 'one' and stops. But even if we grant the free translation, 'person' is easily dealt with: the promise made to Abraham was made by Jehovah the Father: one person.
"The Scripture specifically tells us that no mediator was involved, hence the other two members of the Jehovah-hood took no active part in it. Finally, we note the use of 'party' in place of 'person' in two places. A 'party' can refer to more than one individual. This is obvious when it speaks of God and Israel as 'two' and 'both' when we know that Israel consists of thousands of individuals (and therefore, there can be no objection to referring to God in the same manner if he is more than one person as well).
"Richard, you raised some interesting points after Bob gave up. You called our attention to the fact that Jesus calls his Father 'God' in a great many instances. You neglected to point out, of course, that doing so in no way refutes the Trinitarian idea. But you also said something along the lines of 'if Jesus were an equal God with the Father, we'd expect the Father to call him 'God'. The fact is, he does. We have only to look again at the first chapter of Hebrews in verse eight to see this. Ted, as long as you still have the Amplified Bible on your lap, why don't you read it from there."
Ted turned to the requested verse and read, "But as to the Son, He says to Him, Your throne, O God, is forever and ever --"
"Thank you," Arthur cut him off, "The Authorized King James Version has, 'but unto the Son he saith, "Thy throne, O God, is forever and ever."' So we see that Jesus is called God by his Father, hence they are equal in this respect.
"Does that make them polytheists as you contend? Hardly. A polytheist believes in many unrelated gods. This gets into the mysterious relationship between the members that we as mere flesh and blood cannot begin to comprehend: they are three persons, each individually is God, and yet there is only one God. This is, however the only way we can take the Scriptures as a whole without finding contradictions.
"You say that Jesus is not God. This is astounding! How can you claim to have read the Bible at all and make such a statement? I didn't bring up this point in my last speech because I thought it could be taken for granted. That's why I went to show that Jesus was Jehovah, it already being too well known and documented that he was God. Now I see that I'll have to start with the basics.
"You'll readily agree from John 1:1 that Jesus as the 'Word' was 'a god,' will you not?"
"Yes," answered Richard, "that's what it says, 'a god.'"
"Yes, that's what it says," Arthur echoed, "and you Witnesses insist on wasting a good deal of us ministers' time by debating in favor of the little word 'a' there. It makes no difference one way or the other. I'll freely grant you your 'a' here."
"Thank you so very much," Bob mocked.
"Bob, as long as you're so anxious to again add your voice to this debate, why don't you turn to Isaiah 43:10 and read what should be a familiar Scripture. And while he's looking that up, I want to ask you, Richard, whether or not it's true that you use the 'a' I've given you in John to indicate a distinction between 'the God' the Word was with and the 'a god' the Word was?"
"That's true. Jesus as the Word was a god but not the God he was with; that would be an impossibility."
"You want me to read that Scripture now?" Bob asked.
Arthur nodded for Bob to proceed.
"'You are my witnesses,' is the utterance of Jehovah, 'even my servant whom I have chosen, in order that you may know and have faith in me, and that you may understand that I am the same One. Before me there was no God formed, and afterward there continued to be none.'"
"Now, Richard," Arthur continued, "would you say that Jesus is 'a god' -- but wait, you've already agreed to this, and there's no backing out now -- Jesus is a god, then, according to you, who was created after Jehovah was. This is what you so-called Jehovah's Witnesses say, but if we let Jehovah speak for himself, what does he say? He says there was no God created before or after him, thus contradicting your whole theory. And if you'll turn the page to Isaiah 44:8, Bob, you'll see that Jehovah again addresses his witnesses as follows, 'and you are my witnesses. Does there exist a God besides me? No, there is no Rock. I have recognized none.' Your theory, then, of Jesus being a different god than Jehovah, is one Jehovah himself refuses to recognize. It would be better if his Witnesses paid closer attention to what they are supposed to be witnesses of, namely, that Jehovah is the only God. What happens then to the god of John 1:1? He must be Jehovah himself in order to fit in with Isaiah here. And don't come back quibbling over punctuation, your own translation gives the Messiah a capitalized 'Mighty God' as well as 'Eternal Father' in Isaiah 9:6."
Ted found this last assertion hard to believe and plunged into his Bible at once only to discover that it was quite true.
"What then of those Scriptures you set forth in which Jesus calls his Father 'the only true God,' when he says 'the Father is greater than I,' and when he says 'no one has seen God at any time'? All of these are explicable when we consider that Jesus was a man at this time and he was speaking as a man to men. Since he had divested himself of the glory that he had as God (as Philippians 2:5-7 and John 17:5 tell us), his Father, retaining all his original glory, was naturally greater than he. As for 'no man has seen God at any time,' we know this isn't literally true since Isaiah quite plainly tells us that he saw Jehovah. The explanation must be analogous to the case in which Moses was told no man could see God and live, and immediately thereafter was given a view of God's back in Exodus 33:20-23.
"Finally, Jesus could speak of the Father as the 'only true God' since he is in some mysterious way connected with the Father, so that the designation 'Father' does not totally exclude the Son (as we've already seen from Isaiah's calling the Son the 'Eternal Father') and this goes to account for the majority of your other problematic verses such as 'there is one God and Father of us all.' Since we know the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit all created us according to the Scriptures I quoted last time, we know they're all included in this title 'Father of us all.' And yet, 'there is only one God the Father' as you pointed out from 1 Corinthians 8:6. It is the Trinity mystery clearly stated.
"As for 'Jesus belonging to God', we can see that this is quite appropriate. For example, I belong to a bridge club. Therefore, I'm a member of that bridge club. Jesus belongs to God. Therefore, he's a member of the Godhood. The Father and the Holy Spirit are the other members belonging to God.
"You used 'the head of the Christ is God' to show inequality, But what does Paul say of the members of the body? 'If they were all one member, where would the body be? But now they are many members, yet one body. The eye cannot say to the hand: "I have no need of you," or, again, the head cannot say to the feet: "I have no need of you." God compounded the body, giving honor more abundant to the part which had a lack, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its members should have the same care for one another. And if a member is glorified, all the other members are glorified with it.'
"So, if God the Father is the head of the body, and the Holy Spirit the 'arm,' and God the Son some other figurative body member, they are all still equals; it's just that they perform different offices just like in the Christian congregation.
"If you say that 1 Timothy 2:5 proves that Jesus is not God, by the same token it proves that he was not man either, but stood somewhere in between the two. Just what was or is Jesus according to you? Nonexistent? He must've been something. According to our view, which beautifully harmonizes all these Scriptures that cause you so many pains, Jesus was both God and man. That is why he could act as mediator between the two.
"Your final remarks -- those that were your own, that is -- concerned the co-eternal aspect. Proverbs 8:22, Colossians 1:15, and Revelation 3:14 were the Scriptures you used, I believe. As to the Proverb selection, you rightly remarked that Jesus was there personified as God's Wisdom. Now let me ask you, was there ever a time that God was not wise?"
"No, of course not," Richard replied.
"Then there was no time when God created his own wisdom. We could say that his wisdom was co-eternal and co-existent with himself, could we not?" Arthur reasoned with him.
"I guess you could put it that way," Richard smiled to hide his anxiety at the admission.
"And since we already agreed that this personified Wisdom was none other than our Lord, Jesus Christ, we'd have to say that Jesus was co-eternal and co-existent with God the Father.
"But what," Arthur asked, "of the words 'produced as the beginning of his way' and 'the first-born of all creation'? These are the very words that lead you to conclude that Jesus is a created being, are they not?"
"They are," Richard responded.
"Ted, we haven't had you look up a Scripture in a while; let's try Job 40:19, if you'd be so kind."
"All right, but what translation?" Ted asked.
"Oh, I should think the New World; you can find them faster in there."
"Okay, it reads, 'It is the beginning of the ways of God.'"
"Thank you. But here is something curious: the same words which Richard felt sure proved Jesus was the first creation are here applied to -- well, Ted, read back in verse 15 to see just what they are applied to."
"'Here, now, is Behemoth that I have made as well as you. Green grass it eats just as a bull does.'"
"A grass-eating animal!" Arthur exclaimed. "The Society has identified it as the hippopotamus for us. But how could this be the beginning work of God's creation if Jesus is to have the same honor conferred on him from the same words? There's one way out of this difficulty, gentlemen, though it may be painful for you. It is to admit that these words 'the beginning of the way of God' do not refer to being the first creation. There can only be one 'first' creation, so we can't give that appellation to Jesus and the hippo at the same time. What it must mean is the highest-ranking being. Jehovah is extolling the hippo as being above all animals in might. When we read that Jesus is 'the firstborn of all creation,' it refers to his being above all creation (and, hence, not a creation at all). 'Firstborn ' is the Greek 'prototkos'; this word conveys the idea of priority and sovereignty. If Paul had wanted to speak of Christ as being created, he would've used the word 'protoktistos,' That he didn't use this word shows that he didn't mean to convey the idea that Jesus was the first creation, but that he was the firstborn over all creation. In Bible times the firstborn was the leader of the household under the father; he was the head over it. Paul wished to convey this same thought about Christ, but he didn't wish to call him a created being, hence his careful choice of words.
"In Revelation 3:14 the New World Translation makes a very grave and purposeful error. It reads, 'The beginning of the creation by God.' It should be 'of God'. You can check this out in your own Kingdom Interlinear Translation; the word is 'of' not 'by.' If we read Jesus' statement correctly, then, as 'The beginning of the creation of God,' we see after a moment's reflection that it allows us to understand this in the sense that Jesus is the beginner of God's creation. The Greek word for beginning here is 'Arkhe.' According to Thayer's Lexicon, this word means: 'that by which anything begins to be, the origin, active cause.' Jesus, then, speaks of himself not as the first creation by God, but as the one who caused the creation from the beginning: the creator, not the created.
"As for a son always being younger than his father: the exception occurs when the sonship involved is not of an earthly, material nature but is an intellectual emanation on the part of the Supreme Spirit. Jesus' begettal is something impossible for us to understand as we can think of a father and son relationship only in terms of human reproduction -- as is evinced by your own example. But this, of course, is not the way to take it. The theologian Saint Thomas Aquinas came closest to understanding it when he spoke of it as an intellectual emanation. The Word is an 'eternal generation' of the Father's, and this explains how he could be begotten and yet not have a beginning.
"The relationship between the Father and the Son is something similar to the sun and its rays; one does not exist without the other. They are indistinguishable in that one cannot see the sun without looking at its rays. Yet the rays emanate from the sun as the sun acts as their source. Also, the rays have existed for as long as the sun has shone (for as long as it has been a sun, therefore). That is as close of an analogy as you'll find in nature. But if we turn to the mind, we'll find a closer, though more difficult, one.
"Whatever is understood is in him who understands. That's the first proposition of Aquinas. It simply means that when I 'understand' say, that lamp on Mr. Jandle's nightstand, it is 'in me,' that is, in my mind. My eyes send certain nerve impulses to my brain, and these form an idea in my mind that I call by the word 'lamp.' In this way, 'understanding' something can be thought of as assimilating the thing into our intellect. Do you follow so far?"
"I think so, Richard responded, "you're just saying that thoughts are in our heads, to put it crudely."
"Precisely. But, having got this far, what should we say to turning this idea around and looking at it from the other side? Let's try it and say that this word in my mind, 'lamp', is the lamp understood. This seems to follow, doesn't it?"
"Yes, but you could just have some word in your mind without knowing what it means," Richard commented with amazing clarity. "If I were to say 'capacitance' to Ted, he, not being an electrician, would have the word 'capacitance' in his mind but we could hardly say that it was 'capacitance understood.'"
"Excellent!" Arthur beamed, "You'll make a fine elder -- that's made up my mind once and for all." He paused and composed himself, "But I'm forgetting who I am." He paused, cleared his throat, and resumed his role as minister: "your objection is fair and agreeable, but I'm going to apply all this to the mind of God, and since there's nothing he can't understand, your objection has no place here.
"Let us think of one more thing, though, before turning to God. If an outside object is internalized into our mind by our understanding, then what happens when we turn our mind on itself? When we understand ourselves, where does this understanding take place but inside our minds? Yes, inside our minds there is a concept of our minds as well as a concept of our minds being a concept inside our minds, ad infinitum. What I mean to say is that we each have an image of ourselves in our minds which constitutes what we think of and what we mean when we say 'I.'
"When I say 'I am Arthur Olson,' what do I mean by 'I'? It is my mouth that makes this sound, this 'claim'; is it then my mouth that is Arthur Olson? Or is it the command from my mind that directs the mouth? Or is it my entire body? No, it is none of these. The command from my brain to speak is not me, otherwise I'd only be me when I was speaking the words 'I am Arthur Olson," and I'm fully persuaded that I am me at quite a few other times. It is not my entire body since not one atom of this body you see before you was a part of me just a few years ago. And if I were to lose my arms or legs or had some sort of transplant, I'd still be Arthur Olson. It must be, then, that 'I' am my inner concept of myself, carefully tucked away inside my mind. I am myself understood, and Arthur Olson is an intellectual image: a being within his own intellect.
"When did this 'me' come about? It was 'begotten' when my intellect understood itself for the first time. Psychologists call this stage in the infant's development 'autonomy': when it begins to distinguish the 'not me' -- for everything at first seems to it undifferentiated -- and gains a concept of itself as an independent living unit.
"At last we are ready to turn to God's own mind and ask when it was that he first understood himself. Our answer immediately comes back the same way as did our wonderment as to God's Wisdom: God has always been wise, he has always understood himself. So when was the begettal of God's understanding of himself: his 'me'? It has always been begotten: eternally generated. The Word inside God's mind that is Himself is Jesus. We agreed that the word inside our minds is the object understood; so the Word God inside God's mind is himself understood, and the Word is God -- the begotten God. This is why John 1:18 calls Jesus 'the only-begotten god who is in the bosom position with the Father is the one that has explained him.' You see, every thought of God's is pure act. The Divine Intellect is not limited, as we, to abstract thought. Therefore, the Word God was not just thought of, he was begotten as a person. That this is so, that God's autonomy is the Word Jesus is shown by Jesus himself when he says, 'I am in the Father, and the Father in me.' Keep all of this in mind and then see what great sense the Scripture makes which, to you, has always sounded so foreign: 'In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.'
"Now my time is nearly up and I want to quickly comment on two last things. You'll notice that I used Scripture after Scripture in setting forth my affirmation of our resolution. But you used an abundance of men's writings instead. That should show you, Ted, who it is that follows the Bible and who follows men's writings.
"Did it ever occur to you," Arthur continued, "that the formulation of the Trinity took as long as it did because the truth was developing during that time -- I mean, 'the light was getting brighter'? Jesus said he'd send the Holy Spirit to teach them all things. The Holy Spirit taught them of the Trinity, which, as you were quick to point out, Jesus had neglected to elucidate fully. The debates and controversies that erupted around it were from radicals who denied the Church's general belief. But it has lasted throughout these centuries through all the debates because it is true. Trinitarian theologians are not stupid, they know your arguments, but they see greater reason to hold their ground. One of your quotes, for instance, said that some primitive Christians believed Jesus to be an angel."
"Yes," Bob commented, "and that's what Jehovah's people believe today."
"But you must recall that there were sects and divisions from the true believers even then. Have you never read the letters of Paul to the Corinthians, the Thessalonians, and to Timothy? John tells us that there were already 'many antichrists' in 1 John 2:18. Other sources inform us that there were already 90 sects in the apostles' time. So how can we rely on some vague allusion to what the 'early Christians' believed? We could easily stumble across some odd sects' beliefs and take them for true Christianity! The teaching that Jesus was an angel, for example, is manifestly wrong in view of Hebrews, chapter one, which has Jesus 'Being made so much better than the angels… For unto which of the angels said he at any time, Thou art my son, this day have I begotten thee?… And of the angels he saith, Who maketh his angels spirits, and his ministers a flame of fire. But unto the Son he saith, Thy throne, O God, is forever and ever… But to which of the angels said he at any time, Sit at my right hand until I make thine enemies thy footstool?' The distinction is drawn most markedly between the Son and the angels.
"But if you wish to quote what early Christians believed, why not quote Ignatius, who died about 110 CE? His life spanned the writing of the New Testament, and in his writings he calls Christ 'God' quite freely. In his letters to the Ephesians and the Romans he uses such expressions as: 'Jesus Christ our God,' 'Our God Jesus Christ,' 'Our God Jesus Christ was conceived in the womb of Mary… God appeared in the likeness of man.' 'Permit me to imitate the passion of my God.'
"But now I see my time is up and it's your turn, Richard, to refute me,"
"It's hard to know where to begin," Richard admitted, "you've brought up so many interesting things I've never heard before. But I've been taking notes of all the Scriptures you've used, and I guess I'll start at the beginning, if anyone can remember back that far."
"That's the disadvantage of taking the negative," Arthur reminded.
The nurse poked her head into the room at this juncture, "Can I be allowed back in?" she asked.
"Of course; we missed you," Arthur greeted her. "You're just in time to hear Richard tear apart everything I've said so far."
She resumed her same chair as soon as Ted cleared it of Bible translations that had been piling up.
Richard began with a studied look at his notes, carefully crossing off each one as he considered it. It was an effective gesture emphasizing their refutation.
"The very first thing you set out to do was to prove that Jesus was Jehovah, and you had Ted read Jeremiah 23:6 which called him 'Jehovah-tsidkenu.' But if this is to be taken literally as a prophecy, it fell flat; Jesus was never called Jehovah. So something else was meant. The fact: is, it isn't unusual for things in the Bible to be called by a contraction of Jehovah's name. For example, let's have Ted read the following Scriptures: first, Genesis 22:14."
"It reads, 'And Abraham called the name of that place Jehovah-jireh.'"
"And now Exodus 17:15, please."
"'And Moses built an altar and called the name of it Jehovah-nissi.'"
"And Judges 6:24."
"'Then Gideon built an altar unto the Lord and called it Jehovah- shalom.'"
"And finally, Jeremiah 33:16."
"'In those days shall Judah be saved, and Jerusalem shall dwell safety: and this is the name wherewith she shall be called, The LORD Our Righteousness.'"
"And what," Richard asked, again imitating the manner of Arthur as closely as possible, "does the marginal note say as to this name?"
"It says, 'Heb. Jehovah-tsidkenu. '"
"And is this not the very name applied to the Messiah which we before mistook to mean that Jesus was therefore Jehovah?"
"It most certainly is," Arthur replied, his eyes still shut.
"Then calling the Messiah 'Jehovah-tsidkenu' cannot possibly make him Jehovah since the Bible calls Israel by the same name, and I don't think my opponent would argue that Israel was also Jehovah.
"As your first 'proof' rested on an ignorance of the way in which the Bible uses contractions of Jehovah's name throughout, your second 'proof ' was the result of a lack of concentration on the tiny but important word 'of.' The Bible doesn't say that John the Baptist prepared the way 'for' Jehovah, but rather, the way 'of' Jehovah. And the way Jehovah purposed our salvation was through his Son; it was this purpose John prepared.
"Again you have trouble with words in Isaiah. The trouble here is with the word 'saw' or 'seeing'. We know Isaiah didn't see Jehovah because the Bible tells us no one can see or has seen God. What then did Isaiah see? According to John 12:41, 'Isaiah… saw his glory.' That is what Isaiah saw: God's glory. But since Hebrews 1:3 tells us that God's Son is the 'reflection of (God's) glory,' it is quite probable that Isaiah saw this reflection of God's glory, namely, Jesus Christ. This view would harmonize the two Scriptures perfectly and yet not make Jesus Jehovah. The reason I can make this last statement is that the Bible shows many instances in which angels were addressed as 'Jehovah' when, of course, they certainly weren't him. The two angels that warned Lot of his city's coming destruction, for example, were called 'Jehovah' by Lot in Genesis 19:18, although they had clearly stated that they had been 'sent' by Jehovah in verse 13, and therefore could not have been Jehovah.
"Exodus 16:10 reveals that the Israelites saw Jehovah's glory in a cloud. That doesn't make the cloud Jehovah, does it? But just as these other messengers and symbolic representations of Jehovah were simply referred to as Jehovah, so too when Isaiah saw Jehovah's glory when it was Jesus who was representing him, he was quite justified by previous Bible usage in calling him Jehovah.
"But the Bible's use of the word 'seeing' not only helps us to understand the above Scriptures, but also the one in which Jesus says that those who have seen him have seen the Father also. 'See' in such instances means 'understand'. Just like we say 'I see' for 'I understand'. On this point I'd like to have Ted read Ephesians 1:18."
"It reads, 'the eyes of your understanding being enlightened.'"
"Thank you. So we see that when someone says that their eyes have seen Jehovah himself, we know that they refer to the 'eyes of their understanding' only.
"One of your most convincing arguments was your comparison of Hebrews 1:10-12 with Psalm 102:25-27 where a verse first applied to Jehovah is later applied to Jesus. But in reading this Psalm it is important to keep in mind that it was probably David who wrote it as a prayer to Jehovah. In the first chapter of Hebrews we are told certain things God said to his Son. But we find that all these things were actually said to others by others.
"The statement in verse five, 'You are my son; I today have become your father' was said of David's son Solomon in 1 Chronicles 17:13 and 2 Samuel 7:14.
"Verse six, which has God saying, 'And let all God's angels worship him,' has its closest counterpart in Psalm 97:7: 'Bow down to him all you gods.' The speaker of that verse is David, again, and the ones addressed are false gods.
"In verse seven, the quote: 'Also with reference to the angels he says; "And he makes his angels spirits, and his public servants a flame of fire."' was taken from Psalm 104:4, and from here on all quotes are from the Psalms and are expressed from the Psalmist's point of view. What is noteworthy about all this is that God wouldn't say 'he makes his angels spirits' God would say, 'I make my angels spirits'. All these quotes, then, must be applied rather loosely as far as the exact wording of them goes. Paul was inspired to see that what was said of Solomon could also be said of Jesus, and what was said of Jehovah could be said of Jesus as well.
"Does this make Jesus Jehovah? No more than verse five makes him Solomon. The Scripture in question, which refers to the creation, can be applied to both Jehovah and Jesus from the fact that Jehovah created the universe through Jesus. That Paul himself viewed matters this way is shown from 1 Corinthians 8:6; 'There is actually to us one God the Father out of whom all things are, and we for him; and there is one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom all things are, and we through him.' Paul, then, made a distinction between God, as the source, and Jesus as the instrument, of creation.
"Since these Scriptures you used to 'prove' Jesus is Jehovah so obviously mean something different, your entire argument falls to the ground. We all recall how much emphasis you placed on this proof, and in fact, the whole debate hinges on it: for we read in Psalm 83:18, 'That people may know that you, whose name is Jehovah, You alone are the Most High over all the earth.' Since only Jehovah is the Most High, no one else can be equal to him. You've admitted as much yourself in seeing the need to make Jesus Jehovah so that he won't be an 'other'. But what does the Bible itself say? Let's turn to Psalm 2:2 and find out. Ted?"
Ted had it in a flash; unlike the yawning Bob, he was becoming more intensely interested at every turn. He hadn't thought it possible to contravene anything Arthur had said; it seemed so complete and logical. But now Richard appeared in an even brighter heroic light as he fought brilliantly for the Truth. "It reads, 'The kings of the earth set themselves, and the rulers take counsel together, against Jehovah, and against his anointed, saying --"' (He had picked up an American Standard Translation from off the shelf some time ago and used it for variety.)
"You'll notice," Richard continued, "that it's talking about two people there: Jehovah, and one who is identified as anointed. From this we would never assume that the anointed one is himself Jehovah, would we? No, because then it would have to read, 'Against Jehovah the anointed one.' But it doesn't. We have here again a small, simple word that is important not to overlook: 'and'. The use of the word 'and' between Jehovah and the 'anointed' shows that two persons are being spoken of. Further, being called 'his' anointed, shows an ownership of him by Jehovah; they aren't equal. Tell me, minister Olson, what is the Greek word for anointed?"
"It is Christ," Arthur replied, adding, "in Hebrew it's Messiah."
"So this 'anointed one' is none other than Jesus Christ. To back this up we read in Acts 4:24-47:
"'Sovereign Lord, you are the One who made heaven and the earth… and through holy spirit said by the mouth of our forefather David, "The kings of the earth took their stand and the rulers massed together as one against Jehovah and against his anointed one," Even so, both Herod and Pontius Pilate with men of the nations and with peoples of Israel were in actuality gathered together in this city against your holy servant Jesus, whom you anointed.'
"Now just think about that; it absolutely proves that Jesus cannot be Jehovah. These early Christians obviously believed that they were two different people. They didn't apply the Psalm to Jesus and someone Jesus had anointed; Jesus, according to them, fulfilled the role of the anointed rather than the role of Jehovah. Therefore, he is not Jehovah. These Christians addressed their prayer to 'the Sovereign Lord'. Did they consider this to be Jesus? No, because they call Jesus the 'holy servant whom you (the Sovereign Lord, Jehovah) anointed'. Jesus, therefore, is not the Sovereign Lord Jehovah (the anointer), but his servant (the anointed).
"Another example is Psalm 2:7. Would you read that, 'Ted?"
"'I will tell of the decree: Jehovah said unto me, 'Thou art my son; this day have I begotten thee.''"
"Here again, two distinct persons are spoken of. But as for the application of it we turn to Acts 13:33, 'God… resurrected Jesus; even as it is written in the second Psalm, "You are my son, I have become your Father this day!"' God resurrected Jesus; he gave him life again, thus 'fathering him' again. Jesus is Jehovah's Son, he is not his Father, Jehovah.
"But one last example: Psalm 110:1 which reads, 'The utterance of Jehovah to my Lord is: "Sit at my right hand until I place your enemies as a stool for your feet."' David here envisioned a far future event in which Jehovah would say this to Jesus. Jesus himself identifies who he is in the prophecy; not that he is Jehovah, but that he is the one David calls 'my Lord'. We read his words in Mark 12:35-37:
"'How is it that the Scribes say that the Christ is David's son? By holy spirit David himself said, "Jehovah said to my Lord: 'Sit at my right hand until I put your enemies beneath your feet.'" David himself calls him 'Lord'.'
"So Jesus teaches us here that he is not Jehovah, but the one Jehovah spoke to and David referred to as 'my Lord.'
"You next tried to twist the Scriptures to show that Jesus had Jehovah's glory and worship. This simply isn't so. Jesus, of course is glorious, being a heavenly being, just as all the angels are glorious. But 'glory' also has the meaning of 'giving worship', as when we say 'give glory to God' -- not that we add radiance to his personage--" at this strange idea Arthur began laughing silently, "but that we give him praise. This second type of glory Jesus has no share in. Note what he says in John 5:41: 'I do not accept glory from men.'
"When John 5:23 tells us to honor Jesus as we honor the one who sent him, the thought is simply one of paying honor to a representative. It is like a foreign ambassador being treated as if he himself were the king or president of his country. No one could rightfully assume from the paying of such honor that the ambassador was in fact the head of his country. Philippians 2:11 backs this up by saying, 'Every tongue should openly acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord to the glory of God the Father.' So our honoring Jesus is to God's glory; It doesn't make him God.
"And when we read of the angels apparently worshipping Jesus, we must think of it as only a relative kind of obeisance. Again, it is honor to the Father through his representative. We have an example of this in 1 Chronicles 29:20. Perhaps Ted would read that from the New World Translation."
"'And David went on to say to all the congregation: 'Bless, now, Jehovah your God.' And all the congregation proceeded to bless Jehovah the God of their forefathers and bow low and prostrate themselves to Jehovah and to the king.'"
"Notice that?" Richard asked, "not only did they bow down in worship of Jehovah, but to David as well! Why? Because he, as king, was Jehovah's visible appointed ruler. And we have the same case with any so-called 'worship' accorded Jesus.
"Finally, we know that even if we were to allow that Jesus was worshipped, it couldn't prove that he was Jehovah God. If we could prove that God ordered someone else worshipped who was not God, wouldn't that disprove your conclusion, Brother Olson?"
"Minister Olson, if your please," he corrected. "Yes, it would disprove my conclusion; you're on the right track now, finally."
"Well, all right then. Ted, go back to some other translation and read Revelation 3:9 for us."
Ted switched Bibles again and read, "Behold, I will make them of the synagogue of Satan, which say they are Jews, and are not, but do lie; behold, I will make them to come and worship before thy feet, and to know that I have loved thee."
"From verse seven," Richard explained, "we learn that this verse is referring to the angel of the Philadelphian Church. Since this angel is not God, and since God orders this angel worshipped, it disproves your conclusion about Jesus being God because he's worshipped.
"Next you tried to show that they were co-equal in contradiction to Jesus' own words, 'The Father is greater than I.' When the Jews were going to stone him in John 5:18, it was because they thought he was claiming equality with God. Were they right? You'll recall that the Jews rejected Jesus as their Messiah in full cognizance of the miracles and other proofs he'd given them. So are the Jews to be our authority on Jesus' true relationship with the Father? These same Jews who were sure he'd broken the Sabbath when he hadn't? No, we cannot accept their distorted reasoning as Gospel.
"Other Scriptures you used were either so obviously misapplied or taken from erroneous translations that I needn't reply to them at all.
"All the similarities you showed between Jesus and his Father and the Holy Spirit in creation, judgment, titles, and so on, are exactly that: similarities. Two people can be similar in many respects yet never be the same person, They might have the same house number, drive the same type of car, work in similar jobs, have the same name, and even be identical twins. But even though one could write up a list of similarities between these two men and rattle it off (as you have done with the Father and the Son), that simply cannot make them the same person. Although it's easy to see how a person without all the facts who just listened to your list of similarities might jump to this conclusion.
"As for the Holy Spirit, it wasn't created; it's a force of God. It can't possibly be a person. The Bible speaks of it as 'it' in several places, which of course is never done when a person is involved. Christians are spoken of as being baptized with the Holy Spirit. But can you imagine me picking up a person and placing him atop you to baptize you in him? No, the Holy Spirit is a force, and that's why, in those Scriptures you quoted, power is associated with it. You may recall Jesus saying that any sin against him would be forgiven, but no sin against the Holy Spirit would be. How is this? Is the Holy Spirit greater than the Son? This would throw your Trinity dogma out of whack. But the meaning becomes clearer when we view it as a force. We can see that it would be a more serious sin to go against this force when it was guiding us to do some act than when we were simply acting on our own puny initiative.
"Jesus, on the other hand, was definitely created. The Bible tells us so in so many words. We'd have to agree that there must be some distinction between Jesus' begettal and the angels' creation. But that doesn't mean that begettal has to be something other than creation. All that is really called for is that begettal be a different sort of creation: a unique way of creation that the Father used only once with his Son, and thereafter used another method. This, in fact, is what we find. We read in several places, already quoted, that God created everything through Jesus. But of course he couldn't have created the Son through the Son; and that's the difference! Jesus was a direct creation: a 'begettal' of Jehovah, whereas everything else was created by Jehovah through the mediation of his Son, the Word. This, in fact, is how he can claim the title 'first and last': not that he always was and always will be (though the last part of that statement is true), but that he was the first and the last to be created directly by Jehovah God.
"But did this require the Son to come out of the 'substance' of the Father, as you claim is necessary for him to be a 'true Son'? Hardly. If you ever took time to read the Gospel according to Luke, you'd have run across the last verse of chapter three which tells us that Adam was a 'son of God'. Since the Bible doesn't lie when it tells us this, we can rightfully call Adam a 'true son' of the Father. According to you, this means Adam must've been taken from God's substance, but according to the Bible, he was taken from the dust of the ground.
"As a final positive proof that Jesus was created (for we don't have time for the many more I could put forth)), let's look up Hebrews 2:11, where we read:
"'For both he who is sanctifying and those who are being sanctified all stem from one, and for this cause he is not ashamed to call them "brothers."' As no one would doubt that this is referring to Jesus, we must admit that he 'stemmed from' God just the same as his earthly brothers: he too was created. That's why his Father is their Father and his God their God, as he says in John 20:17.
"Next you turned to co-existence, using such familiar arguments as 'Elohim' being plural and God's saying 'let us make man in our image.' These arguments are easily answered. 'Elohim' is a plural in the same way that our English word 'sheep' is. It can be used as a plural or a singular; as the word 'sheep' can mean one animal or a flock. This is the same case with Elohim. Everyone agrees that the Jews were monotheists, and when they used this word for their God, it meant one singular God. When he says 'let us…' he is talking to his Son, whom we just explained, had a hand in creation and was in the image of God as being his 'reflection' (and a reflection is not the person being reflected any more than an image is the one imaged).
"Finally, I must reply to some things you said in your rebuttal.
"You tried to contort Galatians 3:20 so as to say something other than 'God is only one person.' I think you failed miserably at this, and once you saw there was no way out you had to admit that it really did mean one person. But you claimed that if it did mean one person, it meant only the Father God -- that he was the sole person in giving the promise to Abraham and used no mediator. Is this really what you said, or have I forgotten?"
"That's just what I said," Arthur answered, "what you have forgotten is how well I really did refute Bob's version of the Scripture."
"But refresh my memory once more," Richard was getting excited as an expectant smile perked up his lips, "what did you say about Genesis 18 where --"
"I said," Arthur interrupted, in a hurry to help Richard make his delicious killing, "that God appeared to Abraham as three people, proving that he was a Trinity."
"And on that particular occasion did God make a promise to Abraham?"
"Yes."
"So let's get this straight," Richard eagerly continued, "In order for the Trinity doctrine to harmonize with these Scriptures, Jehovah God had to come down in full force, as you'd say, in Genesis 18 as the three persons of the Trinity and make his promise to Abraham. But in Galatians 3:20, in order to avoid being only one person, God had to have made this promise to Abraham as one single member of the Trinity: the Father alone! By your false doctrine of the Trinity you have interpreted the Bible in such a way as to force it to contradict itself!
"You see what nonsense the Trinity idea makes of the Bible? Whereas if we accept the clear statement that God is only one person, and that no man had seen God at any time, we find no contradictions at all! The three angels who appeared to Abraham were addressed as Jehovah simply because they were God's representatives. Only when you accept the truth that God is not a Trinity, do you find no contradiction between these Scriptures.
"The other interesting point you brought up in rebuttal was that Jesus is a god. Of course he is! It would be the furthest thing from our minds to deny it! But it would be the next furthest thing to claim that this makes him Jehovah God. How do we reconcile this with God's own words that there were no gods created before or after him? Well, how do you reconcile it with the fact that the angels are also gods? If an argument can be used against both our viewpoints, it is worthless to bring it up in debate since it can't help solve our differences but is merely extraneous. To prove that the angels are gods too, we turn to Psalm 8:5. I think we'll have Ted read that from the King James first, and then from the Revised Standard."
Ted made a dash for the bookshelf once again and located a Revised Standard Version. He opened both Bibles and then said, "Okay, from the King James first:
"'For thou hast made him a little lower than the angels, and hast crowned him with glory and honor.'
"And the Revised Standard reads, 'Yet thou has made him little less than God, and dost crown him with glory and honor.'"
"You'll notice that one said 'angels'," Richard pointed out, "and the other 'God'. Which is right? Both! That's the point: the angels are called 'God' here.
The Hebrew word is 'Elohim', which you've already said means God or gods. How can we be sure that 'Elohim' here is applied to the angels? In Hebrews 2:7 Paul quotes the verse. Ted, read that in the Revised Standard (the one that had 'God' instead of 'angels' in Psalm 8:5)."
"Thou didst make him for a little while lower than the angels, thou hast crowned him with glory and honor."
"So Paul clearly tells us that 'Elohim' in the Psalm refers to the angels (he uses the Greek 'Agglos' which means angels rather than 'Theos' which means God). Must we admit, then, that the angels must all be Jehovah since the Bible calls them God? There's a better way to take it than that, I assure you. The term 'God' is just a title. It simply means might, or 'mighty one'. The dictionary defines it as 'a being of more than human powers.' Certainly the angels fit this description. When we see how the Bible as a whole uses the term 'elohim' and its derivatives, we are even more confirmed in this view.
In Genesis 23:6 the children of Heth refer to Abraham as a 'mighty prince' and the word they use is 'elohim'. In other instances: 1 Samuel 14:15, Genesis 30:8, Psalm 36:6, Ezekiel 32:21, and Genesis 31:29. It is translated variously as 'great', 'strong', and 'power'. The singular form of the word 'el' is translated 'might' and 'mighty' in Deuteronomy 28:32 and Psalm 29:1. The conclusion, then, is that the Bible deems it proper to call others who are not Jehovah by the title 'God'. There is no reason, then, to believe that Jesus is Jehovah simply because he, too, is called God. We should be surprised if he wasn't called God!
"I have rebutted all your statements now, and I have a little time remaining for one last positive proof of our position. If we could prove that Jesus was an angel, it would prove that he couldn't be God since the angels are less than God."
"But I already proved from Hebrews chapter one," Arthur reminded them, "that Jesus was distinct from the angels."
"But God said all those things in Hebrews chapter one to Jesus at his baptism. Before he came to earth he was an angel, and he still retains the name 'Michael the Archangel' in his glory."
Arthur looked as if he wanted to say something at this point but restrained himself. In that moment Ted tried to figure out what it was. He succeeded after a moment's thought: what Richard just admitted backed up what Arthur had said before about Jesus being less than God when he was a man on earth, but regaining his Godhood at his ascension. If Richard could allow Jesus to lose his title to angel-ship in this way so as to nullify the full force of Hebrews drawing a distinction between him and the angels, then how could he rightfully object to Arthur's using the same logic as to loss of Godhood so as to nullify the full force of Jesus saying 'the Father is greater than I'?
Richard continued, "We really aren't alone in this belief since Christendom in general believes that whenever the Hebrew Scriptures speak of 'the angel of the Lord,' it means Jesus.
"In Revelation 20:1-3 an angel hurls Satan into the abyss, thus fulfilling the prophecy of Genesis 3:15. This angel must be Jesus, since we know that the prophecy referred to him. Further, when he was on the earth, the demons recognized that he was the one who was to hurl them into the abyss (as we read in Luke 8:30,31). Christendom would agree, I think, that this angel is Jesus. This angel must first battle with the demons before abyssing them. And so we find in Revelation 12:7 that 'Michael and his angels battled with the dragon.' Again, this is the same angel that hurls them into the abyss, namely, Jesus. The verse, you'll notice, calls the angels 'his (Michael's) angels.' Who is it that is above the angels so that he can own them in this way? Well, we read of something similar in Matthew 13:41: 'The Son of man will send forth his angels.' The Son of man is Jesus, and so is Michael. The angels do not serve two masters; therefore Jesus is Michael the archangel.
"Daniel chapter 11 tells us that Michael will stand up (which means to take kingdom power, as used in Daniel 8:22,23) and cause a great time of distress and resurrection. We know that Jesus 'sat down at the right hand of God' till the time of his 'standing up' to take kingdom power. His doing this and throwing Satan out of heaven to the earth brings on the time of 'great distress.' Jesus is also called 'the resurrection and the life.' Therefore, since Jesus does all the things attributed to Michael the archangel, Jesus must be Michael the archangel, and must not be Jehovah who is over all angels as their creator. Even when Jesus comes in all his glory the Bible shows that he is the archangel and not God: 'the Lord himself will descend from heaven with a commanding call, with an archangel's voice.'"
"Is that your conclusion?" Arthur asked, opening his bloodshot eyes.
"That's it," Richard replied.
"It seems I must remind you of the most interesting point you brought up. It was interesting," Arthur acknowledged, "not within its own content, but in the fact that you used it to contravene the major part of my argument. That was when you said that similarities between two individuals don't prove that they're the identical individual. Do you remember that?"
"Yes, of course," Richard replied.
"Do you? Then by what means, will you tell us please, have you just set out to prove that Jesus is Michael the archangel?"
There was a pause as Richard vainly searched for an answer that wouldn't invalidate his argument.
Finally Arthur continued by answering his own question; "Wasn't it, in fact, by showing similarities between Jesus and Michael? Jesus was supposed to do a certain thing, and we read of Michael doing it -- wasn't that it?"
"Yes," Richard replied sheepishly.
"Tell me why similarities prove a single identity in this instance but not in the greater instance between Jesus and Jehovah."
"Well … uh, I'm not sure exactly."
"Can you help him out, Bob?"
Bob shook his head, sadly disappointed that this strong argument against the Trinity was being raked over the coals.
"Or can either of you tell me," Arthur went on, "why you feel so confident that since the angels serve only one master, Jesus must be Michael; and yet, by the same reasoning, Jesus is not Jehovah? Don't the angels recognize Jehovah as their master? Don't Hebrews and the Psalms call them 'all the angels of God'? If so, and if they don't serve two masters -- by your own reasoning Jesus must be Jehovah.
"When James, likewise, writes that he is a 'servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ,' they must be one in the same since Jesus said not to serve two masters. Do you agree with that?"
"No, of course not," Richard disagreed.
"How do you explain it then?"
"Jesus must've meant two masters opposed to each other."
"Then how can you use the argument to prove that Jesus is Michael? Could it be that you just go along with what the Watchtower teaches, and since it teaches that Jesus is not God you ignore all proofs to the contrary, but since it teaches that Jesus is Michael you eagerly use the same type of proofs to support this Watchtower teaching?
"For instance, you say you agree with Christendom's teaching that 'the angel of the Lord' in the Old Testament is Jesus. Yet you stop there -- right where the Watchtower stops, You fail to bring it to its logical conclusion. The angel of the Lord was distinctly called 'Jehovah'!
"We can see this from a comparison of Exodus 14:19 with 13:21: 'And the angel of God who went before the camp of Israel in a pillar of cloud…' 'And Jehovah went before them by day in a pillar of cloud…' In many other instances the angel of the Lord is recognized as being 'God' or 'the true God' (such as in Genesis 31:71, 13; 32:30; and Judges 13:21, 23). To take one such instance: when Manoah saw the angel of the Lord he said, 'we shall surely die, because we have seen God.' But surely Manoah was familiar with the account of Jacob wrestling with the angel, and of others who had seen angels and did not die. He must've been thinking of what God said to Moses: 'Thou canst not see my face; for man shall not see me and live.' So Manoah must've associated the angel of the Lord with Jehovah God himself. He was right to do so. Then why didn't he die? Because this was not Jehovah the Father, of whom it is truly written, 'the Father ye have neither heard his voice at any time nor seen his form.' (3ohn 5:37) It was the Father whom no man could see and live. Men could see Jehovah the Son and live, because the Son became incarnate as an angel to appear to them. This explains our old problem of Isaiah 6:5: 'for mine eyes have seen the King, Jehovah of hosts.' Isaiah lived after seeing Jehovah--an impossibility unless we acknowledge that Isaiah saw Jehovah the Son--and so he did according to John 12:41.
"I am going to pass over the majority of your arguments by saying that all they proved, and all you evidently meant them to prove, was that the Father is not the Son. We Trinitarians agree with that whole-heartedly; so you were just wasting your breath. The Father and the Son are two distinct, separate persons. Each one is a complete individual unto himself. The Father is not the Son and the Son is not the Father. And yet they co-exist together with the Holy Spirit as one God."
"But that's impossible to understand," Bob interrupted, "It's a contradiction in terms in the first place. That's why so many people are leaving your traditional religions; they have 'mysteries' like these that can't be explained, much less thought about or actually believed. Jehovah's organization, on the other hand, is the fastest growing religion in the world because we've gotten away from such nonsense. We don't claim to believe in anything we don't understand. Our beliefs are simply the truth; clear and direct, easily proven from the Bible without a lot of medieval theologians having to be brought in."
"Excuse me, dear brother," Arthur reprimanded, "but you're using up my time again. But let me reply to what you just said before I continue rebutting Richard. There are three parts to your statements: (1) that you don't believe, and can't believe anything incomprehensible; (2) that the Watchtower teachings are nothing like this; they are all simple and straightforward; and (3) that yours must be the true view since you're the fastest growing religion.
"To reply to your first point: I must say first of all, that there is nothing 'contradictory' about the Trinity doctrine. We don't say that God is three persons in one and yet not three persons in one, or anything like that. Our view is consistent within itself. You are assuming that it is nonsense simply because we as humans cannot fully grasp the concept. Yet, contrary to your poorly thought out statements, there are many things in the universe which we believe in and yet cannot fully grasp. You believe the universe to be infinite, do you not?"
"Yes, of course," Bob replied.
"Can your mind conceive of the infinite? When you try to imagine space as having no end, don't you have to imagine a certain amount of space first, and then add another amount of space to it, and so on, so that your mind can't take it all in at once but has to take it in never-ending sections?"
"Something like that, yes."
"So our minds can't really think of the infinite, nor can they imagine an end to space. Therefore, we conclude that we must believe it to be infinite even though we're limited in trying to think of it.
"Or take the always-existing God as another example. We can think back billions of years and reason that there was only God and that he was in existence billions of billions of years before that. And when we think back to that time, we would have to go back still further, and so on endlessly. We can't conceive of God being beginningless because we each had a beginning. But neither can we think of a time when there was nothing at all, not even God. So we believe that God always existed, that the universe has no end, and that there can be no place where there isn't space. We believe them all, but we can't conceive of them. These things are beyond us, yet we believe in them because they are the truest of possibilities.
"Now, when we come to God's being, do we suddenly think it strange that we cannot fully understand him? Why does it seem to you that we can have all these other mysteries of the universe and physical laws, and yet, when it comes to the Supreme Being we should understand him perfectly? If our idea of God were so simple, simpler than material laws, it would be a good reason for holding such an idea suspect of being false. If we were trying to make up some doctrine for ready belief by the masses, of course we'd choose something simple like God being one person like man is. Why should Christendom go through all the trouble of trying to convey the difficult and mysterious doctrine of the Trinity unless it were true and as close an approximation as one can come to God's Being?
"Now to address your second point as to the Watchtower's teachings: If I may quote from your Watchtower on the very issue at stake, I mean about the Trinity itself, you'll see that it has taught exactly what I'm saying to you now on two very important points. The first of which is that Jesus is God:
"'It is since His resurrection that the message has gone forth -- "All power in heaven and in earth is given unto me." (Matthew 28:18) Consequently, it is only since then that he could be called the Almighty.'"
"I don't believe that for a second," Bob interjected, "the Society never believed that Jesus was the Almighty. Even Russell had the truth on that from the very beginning."
"You will keep interrupting me," Arthur said angrily, "Tell me, what does it mean when Jesus says that he now has 'all power'? Doesn't it mean that he's all mighty? The quote is from the 1893 Watchtower, page 115, if you care to check. It's also quoted in The Finished Mystery, page 15, where Revelation 1:8 (which you people now apply to Jehovah) is applied to Jesus Christ.
"As to worship, once again the Watchtower agrees with me and is at odds with you. Notice this in the July 15, 1898 and October 1880 issues, where we read:
"'Question: Was he really worshipped, or is the translation faulty? Answer: Yes, we believe our Lord while on earth was really worshipped, and properly so… it was proper for our Lord to receive worship.' 'He was the object of unreproved worship even when a babe, by the wise men that came to see the new-born king… He never reproved any for acts of worship offered to Himself… Had Christ not been more than man the same reason would have prevented Him from receiving worship.'
"Of course, admitting Jesus to be the Almighty and to have received worship leads to only one possible view of the One Almighty God who exacts exclusive devotion: he is more than one person. That is why, no doubt, you refuse to admit these things today, and in fact the Watchtower makes opposite statements about these matters today. So it has certainly 'simplified' its own position -- and is that why it's the 'fastest growing religion'? You used this as your third and final proof of truthfulness, but I guess you've never read Matthew 7:13, 14 or Matthew 211:11. Look it up when you get home; you'll find it enlightening. Right now I can waste no more time on the matter.
"I will quickly return to this matter of worship," Arthur hurriedly continued, "and inform my esteemed opponent that the correct rendering of Christ's words in John 5:41 are 'I receive not worship from men' rather than 'accept not'. Of course he accepts it; it's mankind he's berating for not giving it so that he can receive it. Did he turn down the worship of Stephen as that martyr was being stoned and prayed directly to him, as we read in Acts 7:59: 'And they stoned Stephen, calling upon God and saying, Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.'? Since it is proper for Christians to pray only to God, and since Jesus tells us whatever we ask in his name he will do; Stephen at a time of great trial would pray only to the Almighty -- Jesus is Almighty God Jehovah!
"Yet you say the worship he receives is 'relative'! This is almost amusing when we think of what you have to say about the Catholic Church's relative worship. Ted, take our your Make Sure book and read the top heading on page 249, under the article on Idolatry."
"It reads, '"Relative" worship, using physical "aids to devotion", contrary to Christian principle of worship.'"
"And now read the bottom heading of the same column."
"'Bowing in worship before men or even angels as representatives of God forbidden.'"
"You say that Jesus acted as God's representative, that he was only a man while on earth, and now he is an angel. So the restriction against representatives, angels, and men being worshipped should certainly apply to him. But if bowing before him was forbidden, why was it done? Why did the disciples and women do it in Matthew 28:9,17, and why did the elders in heaven do it in Revelation 5:14? If this is 'relative worship' as you claimed, and relative worship is idolatry, as the Society states, then the disciples of Jesus were guilty of idolatry and so was he for not reproving them. Yet, according to the Bible, Jesus was without sin. Therefore, in order for him to receive worship without sinning, he must be Jehovah God the Almighty.
"You read Psalm 83:18 before which stated that the one whose name is Jehovah is the Most High over all the earth. But in Philippians 2:9 we read that Jesus has the name that is above every other name. Therefore, his name must be Jehovah, especially since we know he has all power in heaven and earth.
"But your whole system, which admits that Jesus was a god (and you shouldn't be so fussy about capitalizing the 'G' since in your own New World Translation Jesus is God with a capital 'G' in Isaiah 9:6) yet denies that he is Jehovah God whom we worship, seems to make Jesus into some sort of pretend or pseudo-god. It's as if you're saying, 'he's God, but not really,' You simply can't have it both ways. In Philippians 2:6,7 we've read that Christ Jesus had God's form, but put it off to take on man's form. Now, let me ask you, Bob, when Jesus was in 'man's form' was he a make-believe man, a pseudo-man, or was he truly man?"
"He was truly man."
"It follows, then, that when he was in 'God's form' he was as truly God as he was truly man when he was in man's form.
"There is one last point, and then I'm through. It's about the Holy Spirit: that much maligned person of the Godhead. You say I'm all wrong in thinking of him as a person, that in reality he's an impersonal 'force', is that correct?"
"That's right," Richard answered.
"Well, then, would you be so kind as to read Romans 8:26 for us?"
"Surely. It reads: 'In like manner the spirit also joined in with help for our weakness; for the problem of what we should pray for as we need to we do not know, but the spirit itself pleads for us with groanings unuttered.'"
"Isn't it rather ridiculous," Arthur asked, "to say that a force intercedes with God on our behalf? Only a person could to this. How could a mindless force know what we need to pray for and make these needs known to God for us?
"Ted, take your Revised Standard out again and read 1 Corinthians 12:71.
"'All these are inspired by one and the same spirit who apportions to each individually as he wills.'"
"That clearly states," Arthur expounded, "that the Holy Spirit has a will. Can this be said of a mere force? A force can be directed, but the verse does not say that anyone directed it; it says the Holy Spirit did as he willed.
"But can a person be called 'it'? Doesn't this very fact that the Bible calls the Holy Spirit 'it' refute my view of his being a person? To settle that question, please read Matthew 1:11,13."
Richard and Ted looked at each other and decided in their glance that Richard should read it since Arthur didn't specify. He opened up to the passage and read, "'And when they went into the house they saw the young child with Mary its mother, and, falling down, they did obeisance to it. They also opened their treasures and presented it with gifts…' 'Get up, take the young child and its mother and flee into Egypt, and stay there until I give you word; for Herod is about to search for the young child to destroy it.'"
"Was Jesus a person?" Arthur asked.
"Yes, of course," Richard replied.
"Then why does the Bible call him 'it' five times in a row? Along the same lines we could turn to Ezekiel 18:4 where the soul is called 'it', and I know you'll say the soul is 'the person himself.' Calling a person 'it', then, is perfectly acceptable in Biblical usage.

"And now I'm done," he paused and sighed, "I'll dispense with the usual eloquent plea for the adoption of the resolution; it's too difficult to put one's heart in such an abstract doctrine. I turn it over to the judges then. Nancy, you be first; who do you judge to have won the debate? Speak honestly now, you'll hurt no one's feelings, I assure you."
"So Nancy was her name," Ted thought. "She had a good witness today on the Truth."
"I think there's no question but you two," she pointed with her head towards Richard and Bob, "are right. If it says God is only one person, what more its there to say?" She gave a little forced laugh out of habit at the end of this sentence to tone it down somewhat in case anyone should disagree with her and repercussions ensue.
Her worries of disagreement were well founded, as Mr. Jandle next voiced his opinion. "In the first place," he began, twirling his mustache, "I don't think our nurse here is qualified to pass judgment since she missed most of the debate, and the parts she missed were Arthur's pleas for the Trinity. She practically heard only one side of the argument except for this last bit. I think, had she heard it all from the beginning as I have, she'd vote for the affirmative like me."
"All right," Arthur interposed, "we have one vote for the negative and one for the affirmative; it's up to you, Ted, to decide the issue."
"If only it were that easy," Ted said as he stood up and walked behind his chair, grasping the back of it with a tight grip. "I was going back and forth like a tennis ball between you. When Arthur spoke I was sure he was right, and when Richard spoke I was sure he was right. But now," he let go the chair, turned his back to them, and began pacing nervously, speaking only at the intervals when he was at the window, "Now it seems to me that you're both wrong. And that maybe the truth isn't between these two issues; I mean between God being a Trinity or not being a Trinity. Maybe it's something beyond either side. That God's so far above our thoughts that --"
"Stop right there," Arthur warned in a stern voice which made Ted turn from the window and face them all. "God's either a Trinity or he's not. Don't reject absolute truth for mystery; it's got to be one or the other --"
"Remember," Bob added, "you're getting baptized next week, and we don't baptize Trinitarians."
Ted swallowed hard. He felt on the verge of that something "mysterious" Arthur referred to, and hated to reject it so utterly without fully tasting of it. But baptism was the thing. He'd been working towards it for months and it wasn't worth risking it for some intangible thought, no matter how free. "Then," he began slowly, measuring the words: "I give 49 and a half percent of my vote to the affirmative and 50 and a half percent to the negative."
"It seems the no's have it," Arthur beamed, "God is not a Trinity after all! Well done," he said as he shook Richard's hand.
"We won't be able to come and see you next Sunday," Richard reminded him as though he was capable of forgetting, "we'll all be at the convention. But we'll be thinking of you."
"Be sure to say hello to everyone for me, and tell them I remember them always in my prayers."
"Yes," Bob said, "we'll bring you back a full report,"
"Thank you, but that won't be necessary as I have a brother who tape records them for me in their entirety." He looked over at Ted with emotion in his wrinkled eyes, "And you, young man, will be getting baptized!"
"Jehovah willing," Ted responded, and Arthur nodded and smiled broadly.
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Falling in Truth 
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Chapter 6: Falling in Love Again
Ted was alone on the topmost floor of a seedy apartment building, busily slipping invitational tracts under the doors of tenants who didn't respond to his knocking. Ted was instructed that morning to merely knock on the door, hand the householder the invitation to the convention, and say, "Hope you can come."
The group had split up to quickly cover the territory, but Ted completed his building in record time. (After knocking once he almost immediately slipped the paper under the door in order to get out of there quickly, and so hadn't seen a single face.) But as he straightened up from depositing the last of the tracts, he was startled to see a black figure descending towards him.
She came from the narrow stairway that led to the roof. Her ebony skin glistened with sweat. "Oh!" she exclaimed as she covered her bikini top with both her arms. "They're not home," she giggled half nervously and half bawdily.
Ted stepped back two full steps so as not to frighten her from entering the dim hall from the stairwell. He gripped his light satchel loaded with tracts tighter and swallowed hard as his eyes automatically pierced through her concealing arms, "That's all right," he swallowed again, "I just left one of these under their door." He held out the limp sheet for her to inspect its innocence. She took it with an arm as stretched to the limit as his own. The other arm felt awkward by itself and fell to her side. He got a full glimpse of her cleavage before he mustered up the control to stare at the plain wooden door beside him as she perused the tract.
"Oh, I see," she said at last and made a move to hand the paper back.
"You may keep it, and I hope you can come and learn about God's Kingdom," Ted said, making an incredible effort to keep his eyes fixed on hers.
She dropped the arm back to her side. "Thanks," she said.
Ted was about to say instinctively "have a nice day," and she was about to step back into the stairwell to let him pass, but they hesitated, their eyes transfixed upon each other. Ted took a deep breath and sighed. This snapped her to attention.
"I was up on the roof catching some rays," she explained, rubbing her hand on her stomach, then quickly around her side to her back where she kept it. Ted watched her whole body move in sympathetic rhythm to this odd movement.
‘He can see that I don't know what to do with my hands,’ she thought to herself as she wiped the mixture of oil and sweat from her lower back. "You must be hot in that tie and suit and all," she surmised.
"Yes," he agreed, and didn't know what else to say.
"Hot?" she clarified, "Did I say hot? I should've said 'sweltering'! God, you must be in 'the place never mentioned to ears polite'! You want something cool to drink? I mean, that's what the Bible says, doesn't it? We're supposed to give Christ's brothers a glass of water?"
"Something like that, yes. But please don't bother."
"It's no bother. Now don't you deny me my right to do a Christian deed; I took yours, didn't I?" She held up the tract.
Recalling what had happened that time at the door with Paul when he refused to take the woman’s donation, he said, "Yes, all right. Thank you."
"C'mon, I just live down here." She led him two doors back, took a little key from her bikini bottom, and took him into air-conditioned comfort. It was a most unusual living room they entered. The walls were covered completely with posters of wildflowers, seascapes, lion cubs, and a blown-up photo of her own face with the caption "KNOW THYSELF" beneath it. She saw his fascination in all this and explained, "The walls were a real ishy color." Her canary began singing a welcome to them, which drew his attention to it. It hopped about in a big cylindrical cage that stood on the floor and reached above eye level.
There were all manner of swings and toys and green vines entwined around the perches and bars. "Hello Emily," she addressed it, pressing her face to the bars while it hopped over to give her nose a playful peck. "I hate to keep her caged up," she said, turnning back to Ted, "I let her out sometimes, but then she gets crap on the rug and table -- I guess that's pretty gross to talk about."
But he was directing his attention towards another cage: a plastic house atop an aquarium with a ladder running up from one to the other and all manner of grooved tubes running every which-way. "What's in this, dare I ask?"
"Oh, just Edgar and Edna, my hamsters. I thought they were both female when I got them -- that's what the clerk told me at the pet store. But I found out different when they had babies a couple weeks ago."
"So now you've got more than you wanted -- more than you bargained for, I should say."
She smiled at this intended witticism for a moment and then looked troubled. "No, you want to know what happened? I mean this is really gross, but they ate them! They ate their babies! I got up one morning and they were gone. It made me really sick. I separated them after that, but that seemed so cruel that I put them back together again."
Along the opposite wall was a love seat; on the adjacent wall, with the birdcage before it, were two bare windows that provided a fair view of the park that began after the vacant lot next to the building.
Before the windows and right beside the cage, was a plain wooden desk cluttered with spiral and three-ring notebooks as well as several opened or book-marked volumes of poetry.
"This is where I write and study poetry. I'm taking a class in creative writing at the university."
Being presented with her life suddenly like this, as if intimate details of her being had pressed themselves against Ted's eyeballs, he was distracted from remembering who he was himself. He made an immediate effort to regain his personality; "This picture of you," he said, pointing to the poster-size photo, "it reminds me of how the Bible says that it is a mirror. Anyone who wishes to know himself --"
"Or herself," she interjected.
"Or herself," he agreed with a smile, "needs to look in the Bible's mirror to discover their real self and see how Jehovah God views them."
"Listen," she began, and he felt as if it were the beginning of a send-off, "I smell like a goat. I'm gonna take a shower and change clothes. I guess I'm sorta indecent right now --"
"I find you very decent," he blushed with embarrassment and looked at her photo, "beauty can never be indecent."
"Oh, thank you. But listen, I'm gonna take a quick shower and then we can talk -- I've got some questions about religion I want to ask. Meanwhile, you can mix us some ice tea. You'll find a pitcher of ice water in the fridge." He followed her into the kitchen where everything was duly pointed out to him before she left him for the bath.
"She's really too trusting to leave a stranger in her apartment unsupervised like this," he thought to himself as he stirred the brown powder. He read the notations on her calendar. Since it was the last day of the month, there was a wealth of information there. Unfortunately, most of it was abbreviated. There was a "PR" written on every Wednesday, and a checkmark on Fridays. Ted deciphered the checkmark to mean she worked and got her paycheck on Fridays. There was a "Call B." crossed out on the second and a "Write M." checked off on the fourteenth. Looking closer he noticed that on the eighteenth beneath "PR" was written and underlined "Read Piano." Wondering if she played the piano or just what it might mean, he carefully carried the glasses into the living-room and set them on the coffee table before the love seat.
He had a strange urge to take a peek in her bedroom. Having seen and learned so much about her (or so it seemed to him) in such a short time, he felt carried away by the momentum to learn still more. A young woman's bedroom, of course, was a place highly charged with eroticism. He pictured how it might look in his mind: a white fluffy bedspread with stuffed animals on it, or perhaps just one huge stuffed animal. A makeup table with a padded chair before it, a lighted mirror, and gobs of hair brushes and tissues and bottles and jars... He stopped his fantasizing since a little more and he'd have no choice but to explore the actual room.
His attention now was drawn to the large, thin books before him on the coffee table. One of them was The Song of Songs, a Biblical book also known as the "Song of Solomon" and "Canticles". He picked this up, anxious to learn what translation it might be. His eyes widened and his pulse quickened as he stopped cold at the first page he opened. Next to the words of Scripture, on the opposing page, was a full-color photograph of a couple copulating in the grass! He shut it and quickly replaced it on the table, taking up the other in its place to wipe the memory of the lurid photo from his mind.
This was a book of the poetry of Sappho, and was entitled, The Art of Loving Women. He figured it was about poetic creations and other works of art by women filled with love. He should've known better. This one was filled with lesbian couples. He leafed through this one for some time since he reasoned that there was no danger of his becoming a lesbian. He knew, naturally, that he should put it down, but the pictures enticed him and excited him. He heard the water running in the bathroom and visualized the stream pouring over the beautiful black body he had seen so much of already. He saw her rubbing herself all over with lather the way she had briefly rubbed her stomach out in the hall. He stared at a black woman in the book whose breasts were in the hands of a white woman, and he ground the hard cover into his groin, mixing pleasure with pain.
"Be right with you," she called, peeking around the corner as she held a towel around herself. Ted jumped. He hadn't even noticed that the water had stopped running. He looked up in embarrassment. She smiled and disappeared in the direction of the bedroom. He put the book down and took a large gulp of ice tea. He had to get this situation under control. He had to remember who he was. Ted remembered several occasions when householders invited him in, politely brushed aside the Kingdom Message, and proceeded to give lengthy, detailed descriptions of their paltry lives. He had inspected a new shower-stall on one occasion that was the current pride of a certain lonely old man's life. He did such things out of common courtesy and to make the householders feel good, even though it was a waste of preaching time. But this case was very different. He had learned all about this young woman before he had really presented the Kingdom Message. Further, he felt a yearning to learn still more. He was strongly attracted to her physically as well as emotionally.
"Ah, that feels better," she sighed, entering the room once more, but this time in cut-off jeans and a thin, orange tank top. "Are you cooled off yet?"
"Yes, I'm fine, thank you."
She took a sip of the tea while standing before him and held out her hand saying, "My name's Cyn Rose."
He stood up and took her hand briefly, "I’m Ted Evanston." Then she moved around the table and sat beside him on the love seat. Ted hesitated and then sat too. No matter how hard he pressed himself against the left arm of the love seat, he was still sitting too close to her. "What did you say your name was?" he asked, taking out his "not-at-home" slips to write it down.
"Cyn Rose."
"Sin?" he asked in astonishment.
"Yes, it's short for Cynthia."
"Oh, I thought you meant sin, like in evil." She laughed at this and he added, to make her laugh more, "I was about to take to my heels and run out of here!" This had the desired effect; she laughed gaily and without constraint.
"I suppose seeing these books here didn't help much either."
"No," he shook his head with a serious frown, "we don't approve of pornography, of course. If you don't mind my saying --"
"Yes, go ahead."
"Well, it seems out of your character to have such things in your place. You don't seem the type who'd get pleasure from dirty books."
"And what do you know about my character?"
"I'm sorry. I don't mean to talk about that. I just want to talk about God's Kingdom."
"But wait, I want to know why you said that. What type of person do you think I am?"
"I think you're the type of person who loves animals and is careful not to hurt anyone's feelings in any way. I think your character is one that can seek and find great depths of beauty in the world about you and in the hearts of those you love. A sensitive soul who pours through poetry books for the occasional inspiration or pure thought you discover there. You keep your world simple, yet you're painfully aware of the evils in the world and seek for a glimmer of hope. This hope is what I'm bringing to you today: God's Kingdom."
She looked at him strangely, for although all that he said had come from his heart, it sounded like something he'd read and was reciting.
"Well, that's very flattering and somewhat embarrassing," she said at last, "but since you have me pegged down so well, tell me about yourself."
He was going to say that he'd rather talk about the Truth, but then he realized he could do both. And so he told her all about how he had come into the Truth, the change it had made in his life, and the wonderful feeling of being a part of Jehovah’s organization. In this conversation, he managed to pretty well cover all the basic truths he had come to accept. Then he began hinting around about starting a Bible study with her so she could experience the same thing.
"The question I was going to ask you about religion," she said after he talked himself out, "is why is there so much suffering in the world if God loves us as children and watches over us. So I guess you'd say it's because Adam followed the Devil's lead and now God's letting Satan rule all mankind just to show us how bad it is to have him for a king instead of God?"
"Yes, that's the gist of it."
"But when Jesus died for all our sins and was crowned king in heaven and all that, shouldn't that have been the end of the suffering? I mean, wasn't that the idea, that Jesus should take on all our sin and suffering on the cross?"
"Well, in the first place it wasn't a cross, but a torture stake," he answered matter-of-factly, "And then we know that God has his own timetable for doing things, and a day to him is as a thousand years to us. We can be thankful for this time period since we have the opportunity to come into the Truth now and survive through Armageddon."
"You mean God's going to kill everyone outside the Truth in Armageddon, and you're thankful for his prolonging the suffering now so more people won't be killed off then?" She gave him an incredulous look, so he agreed, but softened the statement.
"That's a real crude way of putting it, but in essence it's true. We couldn't have an earthly paradise with a lot of murderers and drunkards and thieves running rampant now could we? That's why God will efface them from the earth while allowing those who are meek and submissive to his will to inherit it."
"Okay, but in the meantime, why doesn't God lift a finger to help us. I mean, 'would it spoil some vast eternal plan' if he were to act in little ways to help relieve part of the unnecessary suffering and death? Remember a couple years back when they said on the news --"
"I never listen to the news, it's too depressing. The Awake magazine gives me all the news I need."
"Well, anyway," she continued, "they said a church roof collapsed in Texas while a service was being held and a nine year-old girl was killed. That's when I stopped going to church and stopped praying. If there's a God up there who accepts all our worship and loves for us to glorify him, pray to him, and build million dollar temples to him, why can't he at least delay a roof collapsing for one hour on his worshippers? It would seem in his own best interests to do so. But really, a nine year-old girl -- dead because she had to go and worship a God who didn't care. Don't you feel the sadness of that? Doesn't it hurt your heart? It's so pathetic!"
"Yes, it's sad, of course," he replied, feeling only a faint touch of the emotion she was trying to convey, but hardening himself to defend his God, "but you must remember that God isn't acting towards us in such ways at the present time. Satan is still god of this old world, and it's on him we must cast blame for these things."
"But it seems demonical," she argued, "to allow a devil to rule in your stead."
"It was man's own choice to have it so," he reminded her, "not God's. We have to 'keep our eyes on the prize' as one of our songs says, and look forward to the time when Christ and his l44,000 brothers will abyss Satan and rule over us. Then Jehovah's will will be done on earth as it is in heaven, and every tear and pain will be done away with through his loving care..."
And so he talked on and on, breaking down her resistance to the Truth little by little as he became ever more excited by his own words (what Christendom might call 'being on fire for the Lord'). She caught up this excitement and sucked in his flame like a pilot light; such was her poetic nature to absorb inspiration and multiply its fire.
"Listen," he said, realizing he had to stop at some point, "I want to start a Bible study with you. And if you’re free tomorrow night I'd like you to come to one of our meetings. I’ll be giving a short talk there, I think, because the one who's scheduled to give it might not be there, he told me. It'll only be the second time I've given a talk, so I’ll need all the moral support I can get. I'd like to look out into the audience and see your beautiful face shining up at me."
"I’ll go on one condition: if you'll come with me Wednesday to my meeting."
"What meeting is that?" he frowned.
"A poetry class connected with the university. We get together every Wednesday night and read poems. The instructor has us read a certain poem and then assigns us to write one on the same theme. And then whoever wants to can read theirs in front of everybody. It's just a summer course for only a quarter credit, but it's free for no credit, so you'd be welcome. I read a poem there for the first time two weeks ago and I really enjoyed it. So I wrote another one to read this week. And I, too, need moral support. Whadda ya say? Is it a deal, pardner?" She held out her hand to shake on it, and he shook on it.
She didn't let go, nor did he. They let their hands lie clasped together between them on the space between the cushions. Ted forgot that he was a shy person and looked deeply into her large brown eyes as she reciprocated. If he had forgotten who he was earlier, it was now no matter; he was no longer the same person. The attachment he had for that former person was now clinging to the one whose hand he held. He had been born yet again, losing his own soul to find it a new creation in two joined hearts.
"I feel what you feel," she breathed, indicating that she'd allowed the same mystical change known as love to overcome her, "but you're not yet fully in tune with my feelings if you can absolve God of all responsibility for that little church-girl's death. Your emotion is held too much in check by your intellect. Let me read you a poem about my feelings of life, and respond to it on an emotional level only." She stood up and walked over to the desk. He followed, unwilling to let go of her hand, for never had he felt like this.
"Here," she said, handing him a typewritten sheet, "you go sit down and read along as I recite it." Reluctantly he released her hand and sat alone. "This is the poem I read to them two weeks ago," she explained, "We were assigned to write a brief autobiographical poem which we could exaggerate or fantasize as much as we wanted. But I kept pretty much to the facts. Anyway, here goes:
"Baby Grand Piano, by Cyn Rose:
My sister died when I was nine.
Her piano standing mutely by
Like an open coffin, a fitting shrine
I'd lie within and daily die,
My little body thumping chords:
I laid in stiffness till they'd fade
And Satan came with all his hordes
To haul me off a simple shade.
But never did I pull it off;
Instead, my uncle plucked me hence.
He killed my mother with a cough
And brought me up in consequence.
Bob, you rescued me from that foul beast,
Enchanting with your eyes my walking trance.
Your love soon stopped, but one thing never ceased;
You always took me for your underpants.
When people stand about unclothed,
My shadow runs the other way.
'Commencing things' I've always loathed:
The pierce, the clash, the bloody fray…
The intervening times are best:
Between the strokes, swords poised in air --
To change direction, stop and rest:
Your rhythmic thrusts lie motionless there
Like fingers pressing down the keys
Waiting for the hushed vibrations
Those times my sister spoke with ease
Heart-felt love's communications.
So read between my lines, I pray;
My piano is a typewriter.
I press the keys and try to play
The way she played -- but it was brighter.
And so I teach the little folks
That God was born in Bethlehem,
And other stories, games, and jokes.
They pay me, see, to lie to them
And paint the world all uncle-less
Without a single barb or thistle.
I make it simple, full of bliss:
"It's not hard work if you'll just whistle."
And, "No cow feels the butcher's knife;
Cows are made of leather."
"You’ll have a free and happy life,
All happy together!"
And little can these kids suspect
That there's a sense beyond the six
Which only grown-up intellect
Can hang upon its crucifix
With things so sad they cannot cry
Or spare a tear for anyone.
Where wingless angels go to die
All shivering in the burning sun.
That we're just worms on our Creator's grave
Spending all our days in killing time
Which, deathless, cycles to the final wave
Smudging all our stiffened souls with grime."
He sat there with a forced frown on his face. He couldn't make head or tail out of the poem, but the sound of her voice reciting it was hauntingly beautiful, like a sad, sad wind buffeting and caressing tombstones in the moonlight. It wasn't as sexy as Vonnie’s, but had depths of feeling unmatched in hers.
"You didn't like it," she decided, slumping her stance after holding the last gesture she had made of a wave collapsing over a grave.
"I can't like something I don't understand,' he admitted.
"Do you like God?" she asked.
"Now you sound like Brother Olson!" he laughed.
"Who's that?" she asked, wrinkling up her nose in an expression he didn't comprehend.
"A brother I respect and love very much who says that we can't understand God, but that we love him anyway, just like you’re saying."
"Besides," she argued, hands on her hips in mock anger, "you weren't supposed to try to ‘understand it’: you were supposed to feel it!"
"Well, I don't understand how to do that," he laughed. She rejoined him on the adjoining cushion, closer this time, so close that their thighs were touching.
"It's not something I can explain to you," she told him, "but give me time and I can help you see what I mean." There passed a long and meaningful look between them before she continued, "In the meantime I can tell you of its intellectual meaning, if you like."
"I like," he echoed, "what confuses me is where fact leaves off and fiction begins. Did you really lie in your sister's piano? Did your uncle really kill your mother? Who's Bob?"
"Yeah, okay. I understand where you're coming from. And, yeah, I did lie inside the piano and imagine I was my poor sister in her grave. She died in a car crash when my mother was driving. She was only thirteen. My mother was in critical condition in the hospital and my uncle came and took me there. He was a smelly old man, always smoking and coughing. We sat there for hours till the doctor called him into another room. When he came back he told me my mother was dead in the midst of one of his coughing fits."
"So he brought you up then?"
"Yeah, you could call it that, I guess. He really only wanted an excuse to get at all my mother's money; she had married well but my father died when I was just a baby."
"So you left as soon as you got old enough with the little inheritance you managed to keep out of his hands?"
"You better believe it. But I never would've had the strength to oppose him if it weren't for my boyfriend, Bob, whom I met at school. He's the one who gave me these books you wondered about. I just broke up with him a month ago, though; all he ever wanted was my body. That sounds almost like a cliché today, but it's true. He never had any time for my mind, much less my heart. All he wanted was my --"
"Yes, I get the idea," Ted interrupted, "that's what you mean by his 'taking you for his underpants'?"
"Yeah," she laughed, "I thought that image fit really well the way he regarded me -- just something to slip over his --"
"Yeah," he broke in again, "I understand all that, but what about this 'people stand about unclothed, my shadow runs the other way'?"
"That's something I saw in a painting once. All these people were standing about, all looking exactly the same except for one of them whose shadow was laying on the ground in the opposite direction of the rest of them. I thought that was a really clever way of showing nonconformity to a group norm. But don't ask me to explain the rest of the poem. It's all on an emotional level. Keep the copy I gave you, and as you come to 'feel me' rather than just 'know me', you'll understand the way the poem feels."
"Can I just ask you one more question?" he pleaded.
"Shoot!"
"Are you really a school teacher?"
"Now that's an exaggeration," she admitted. "'m just a teacher's helper at Longfellow grade school. I usually work with the kindergarten class. Those little kids are so much fun to be with! But I want to be a real teacher in the future, after college."
"How Old are you?" he asked.
"What a question to ask a woman!" she said in mock indignation. Then she confided real fast, as if it were an anxious secret bursting to be revealed, "I'm 19, 5 foot 6, 115 pounds, 35-24-34. How old are you?"
"Uh, 17, let's see, 5 foot 7, about 135 pounds, and I don't know the rest."
"Hey, listen, are you doing anything tonight?' She asked. He shook his head. "Want to go roller skating -- can you skate?" He nodded, unthinkingly answering both questions when he meant to reply only to the last. "Great," she smiled standing up, "there's a roller disco that just opened up a few blocks from here that we could go to."
"No," he blurted, neatly slicing through her enthusiasm. He had to convey to her that dating was only for people considering marriage, and that since she wasn't baptized, it would be quite impossible for him to marry her. But this suddenly sounded so silly that he couldn't bring himself to tell her that he believed in such an idea. He quickly arrived at a compromise within his own mind: he'd simply make it something other than a date.
"No?" she pouted.
"I can't dance that well, and especially not on skates."
"Oh," she said with manifest disappointment.
"But couldn't we just go skating in the park?"
A smile returned to her face that reminded Ted of a lamp flickering back on after once being extinguished.
"Trees gently swaying, the breeze combing the earth's grassy hair, squirrels chasing each other, lovers on the benches, children on the swings… Isn't it beautiful in my simple world?" she asked, her long legs rhythmically propelling her along with ease while he tagged behind on wobbly legs strapped to her borrowed skates. "You need some help, baby? Come here and hang onto mama," she laughed.
"So you’re my mama now?" he asked teasingly as they each wrapped an arm about the other.
"Unless you've got another," she answered, staring expressionlessly straight ahead and preparing herself for any answer.
"No," he confessed slowly, "there's no one else. But -- well, I, you see, I'm -- we're not allowed to date anyone outside the organization."
"Well guess what," she quickly responded, hugging his body tight to hers, "I just joined your organization. Now don't go getting the idea I'm desperate from that. There's lots of guys --"
"I'm sure."
"Yeah, at school there's a guy who can't wait to get in my pants, but they ain't got no class like you, babe," she smiled at him and stopped their forward motion to gaze at him squarely. "What I mean is, I like you a lot for doing what you believe in; it's a beautiful thing, and so are you."
Before he had time to think he was kissing her.
It was after seven when he returned home that evening, walking in a stupor through the afterglow of her essence. In his somnambulism he dreamed of her embracing the Truth so readily that she'd be ready for a joint-baptism with him Sunday at the convention, where they'd also be married immediately following.
Bobby stopped him as he began his sprint up the staircase. "Hey, you got some mail today," he called out in a routine matter. Ted turned and began descending. "The new Watchtower, no doubt?" Ted asked.
"No, something else. You go on upstairs and I’ll bring it up!"
With that he ran back inside and Ted went on up. Inside, taped on the refrigerator was a note from Paul:
"I’ll come to the meeting tomorrow night.
Rent is in your hiding place."
Ted dashed over to the cupboard and threw open the door to peer into the beer stein that one of the friends had given him in the grocery-bags that night so long ago. This was where he "hid" his money, though it seemed everyone knew about it. The stein, however, was empty.
"Here you go!" Bobby announced, holding the letter aloft. Ted took it and they sat together in the kitchen as he opened it with a butter knife.
"Who's it from?"
"Don't be so nosey."
It was from Phyllis, and he was soon so wrapped up in it that Bobby skipped into the bedroom to look out the window at the softball game in the street. "Ted," he called, "you wanna go out and play catch or something?" But Ted didn't answer. He frowned hard as he read:
"I’m sorry for not having written you sooner. I should've written right back so as not to 'string you along'. But I already told you once that I didn't want to marry you. So please stop pestering me.
Since dating is only for those considering marriage, I will not date you. I don't want you to write me any more letters. I wouldn't have honored this one with a reply, but I showed it to Terry and he said I should write and tell you how I feel. Well, this is how I feel: I wouldn't marry you in the coming New Order, much less now. Just think of all the trouble there'd be in such a mixed marriage. I want to emphasize that I'm not playing 'hard to get', but 'impossible for someone like you to get'. If you must get married set your sights on someone of your own kind, as I have done.
--Phyllis"
What upset him most, oddly enough, was that she cited the prohibition against dating for the non-marriage-minded: As if he didn't know about it and hadn't mentioned it in his letter to her. Yesterday, or even several hours ago, the letter would've brought tears, anger, and dismay. Now he perfunctorily dismissed the matter with a reply to Bobby, "Yeah, let's go out back and play some catch."
Soon they were tossing the ball back and forth together with a few words. "You know," Bobby confided, "Joey and Jeannie are always sneakin' up to your place during the day."
"They are? Doesn't Paul keep the door locked?"
"No, he leaves it wide open all day to get air in there."
"But why do they go up there?"
"I don't know… just for something to do that they're not supposed to."
"That's right," Ted remembered, "I did find them hiding under the bed one day."
At this point Richard yelled out the window for Bobby to come in and study for the Tuesday night meeting.
Ted went to work that Tuesday mostly to use up some of his anxiety about the coming night. He managed to work extraordinarily well, completing an amazing amount of productivity in a minimum of time. He was converting new-love's energy and nervous energy from apprehension over his talk into the menial task of moving sacks of flour. This productivity was duly noticed and reported to the office by his supervisor, but nothing came of it that day.
Immediately upon arriving home Ted sought out Vonnie to ask about room in their car for Cyn. It was Bobby who answered the door. He put his index finger to his lips and motioned for Ted to follow him silently to the corridor just outside Jeannie and Sherri's bedroom. There he listened to the voice of Jeannie telling Joey:
"No, 'cause since there wasn't anymore today, you gotta get something else." The final word was imploring, and Joey replied with a proud tone:
"I got somethin' else. C'mon, I’ll show you… see?"
"Where'd you get that?" Jeannie asked in admiration.
"A kid at school takes 'em from the store and gives 'em to all his friends. Me and a couple other guys were over to his house the other day after the baseball game."
"Wow! That's really neat. But what are we gonna do with the money?"
"What's going on here?" Vonnie's voice of sudden authority startled Ted and Bobby to attention. She had a basket full of laundry she had just carried up from the basement.
"Oh, just fooling around," Ted said, brushing the matter aside, "I wanted to ask you: I've got a new Bible study who wants to come to the meeting tonight. But they've got no way of getting there. Do you think there'll be room in your car? Paul's coming too."
"Yeah, you can put them in the trunk," she replied sharply. Bobby, didn't I tell you to mow the lawn? So get out there and do it!"
This was a new Vonnie indeed. No joy over a new Bible study, no effort to accommodate them, a sarcastic and demanding voice; none of it added up to Vonnie. But there she stood, sweating profusely, arms straining to uphold the laundry basket, hair a mess.
"Are you all well enough to come with us tonight?" Ted asked, realizing that if they weren’t, there'd be room for Cyn.
Still looking at Bobby, Vonnie threatened, "I told you once, young man, now get yourself out there and cut the grass. Or do I tell your father when he gets home that you want the belt?"
Bobby looked up at Ted and then at the bedroom door they'd been spying at. He shrugged and obediently went out the door.
"Your eye is looking much better," Ted complimented.
"That's why we're going tonight," she dryly noted as she sorted out the clothes on the kitchen table. He began to despair of getting Cyn to the meeting at all with such cooperation when, removing any chance of further conversation, a low rumbling sound started which grew progressively louder until it was intolerably deafening. Ted went to the porch to investigate its source. There he saw a rusted pink car, at least twenty years old, with tail-fins, four massive doors, a missing rear window, and alas, no muffler. The noise reverberated through his skull and prevented his thinking clearly, though he made an effort to wonder why this monstrosity was in front of their place.
The racket ceased and out hopped Paul. "Hey man, how'dya like it?"
"Yours?" Ted asked with an unpleasant expression.
"Yeah; I just got it. Ain't it somethin'? Guess how much it cost?"
"Oh, gee. I'd say about --"
"Can I have a ride?" Bobby called, bursting forth from the back yard where he'd been wrestling with the stubborn starter of a power mower. Ted was glad to be relieved of the task of calculating the worth of the piece of junk in front of him, especially as he foresaw it as the means of getting Cyn to the meeting.
When Paul and Bobby returned from their joy-ride, Ted had words with the former as stern as Vonnie's to the latter.
"C'mon man," Paul replied, "I put it in the beer stein where you keep your rent money. That's where you keep it, isn't it?"
"That's where I keep it when there is any."
"Aw, c'mon, man, I know you're jokin' around with me. You got the money now, don't yuh?"
"You're the one that's kidding, saying you put something there when there's nothing there."
"Man, what a joker," Paul concluded, walking into the bathroom and shutting the door.
It was some stupid joke of his, Ted reasoned, that he didn't care to admit now. Or maybe he left the money in there and then got a sudden urge to buy a car, took the money out, and forgot to take the sign down. Maybe now he even forgot he took the money back again. These rationalizations served another purpose in Ted's mind: he needed to go easy on this matter so that Paul would take him to pick up Cyn, and these excuses for his conduct helped facilitate this needed apathy.
Even if Paul had paid the rent, he was late in doing so, so he readily agreed to pick up Ted's new Bible study. Ted decided it was best not to tell him that his Bible study happened to be a black single female of exquisite beauty; he left this as a pleasant surprise for him.
It was such a pleasant surprise that Paul insisted on Ted climbing in the back and having her sit next to him in the front. Ted acquiesced in this since it was Paul's car.
"So how are you, pretty mama?" Paul asked with his come-on smile.
"I'd be a lot better if you'd watch the road, please."
"Paul's my roommate," Ted quickly explained, "he just began studying, so don't get the idea that he's representative of what most Witnesses are like."
"Thanks a lot, man," Paul was irritated, and now attempted to prove himself, "I know all about this stuff, see; we all gotta get our tails in line or the big guy upstairs'll chop 'em off."
"That's enough, why can't you behave?" Ted was already exasperated.
"No, let him continue," Cyn allowed, "it's instructive."
"Well, see, these Jehovah's got it all figured out. The end's comin’ real soon, and if we don't wanna end with it we gotta read the Bible and go to meetings, and live right. Ain't that right, Teddy?"
"Essentially, yes."
"No it's not," she contradicted, to the surprise of them both, "haven't you ever looked at your roommate? Haven't you ever listened to him?"
"Sure, but --" Paul began but was cut off.
"Then you should know that that's not it at all. You're missing the whole thing if that's what you think. This religion isn't some ticket to salvation. It's a life force: an energy source that renews and revitalizes life! It's a spiritual paradise where people genuinely love each other for what they are. Haven't you noticed a difference in Ted since he became a part of the New World? He isn't just trying to save his own skin; he's showing his love for everyone by bringing them the Truth. That's what it's about: love and truth. You must never have been to a meeting not to have noticed and felt that spirit all about and in and through you."
She had indeed magnified Ted's spirit though her own poetic talents of inspiration. Having read the magazines and parts of the Truth book he'd left her, she was fully charged with their ideas. She spoke as if she'd been in it for years instead of a day. But in spite of all this, in spite of Ted's elation over her and her defense of the Truth, he felt like replying to her last sentence, "No, Paul has been to a meeting. You haven't, and that's why there's this difference of description."
He took her through the by-now-usual routine of introducing her around and whispering comments about each new acquaintance, which made her smile and sometimes giggle. He sat with her without thinking twice about it, and before he knew it, he was called on as the substitute "number two speaker". As he stood up he glanced over at her as he had once done to Phyllis, and he received the encouragement to "knock ‘em dead"
It was a Bible reading he had to give. He always dreaded these "number two talks" since their whole purpose seemed to be to prove that the brother was capable of reading. He had often mentally moaned in the depths of boredom and embarrassment as very young brothers gave these talks and had to be prompted from the audience (usually by their parents) at every other word. But this reading was an exception. He’d found an application for it which fit so well he wondered why no one had thought of it before.
"'The abode of the damned,'" he began, startling everyone to attention. He went on in a sinister voice, "'A place of torment for the wicked which is everlasting. Its torments are unimaginably severe and everlasting: Hell.' So says the Catholic Encyclopedia, and so say the vast majority of churches today.
"But there's a dissenting voice. A voice which says that hell is a place of rest in hope. This voice we value above all the others because it calls out to us from the Holy Bible. It is the voice of the man Job, and if you'll turn with me to the fourteenth chapter of his book, we'll learn the true condition of the dead from him." Here he paused and looked out on the vast field of expectant faces, stopping ever so briefly on the special face of Cynthia Rose.
"And there we read:
"'Man, born of woman, is short-lived and glutted with agitation. Like a blossom he has come forth and is cut off. And he runs away like the shadow and does not keep existing.'"
"Religions of the world teach that man cannot cease to exist since he's immortal, and so can undergo torment after death. But Job says we do not keep existing. And why don't we? Job answers in verses four and five:
"'Who can produce someone clean out of someone unclean? There is not one. If his days are decided, the number of his months is with you; a decree for him you have made that he may not go beyond.'
"Our first parents made themselves unclean and dying by their transgression. This then is all they could produce in their offspring. So, presently the decree from God is that we cannot live forever. He has set our days at a usual 70-80 years.
"In verse six Job asks God to 'Turn your gaze from upon him that he may have rest, until he finds pleasure as a hired laborer does in his day.' According to the Hebrew, this could also read, 'that he may cease.' If God turns his gaze from us, we cease because he's the source of life. But then do we experience the pain of loss and the pain of fire as the religions teach? Job says that we find pleasure just like when we lay down after a hard day's labor.
"But is mankind forever doomed to die? Have we no hope? Job answers in verses seven through twelve;
"'For there exists hope even for a tree. If it gets cut down it will even sprout again…'"
As he read these words with all due feeling, Cyn, and to a lesser extent even Paul, felt how much he believed in what he was saying, even though the words were a blatant contradiction of his application.
"'…Man also has to lie down and does not get up. Until heaven is no more they will not wake up, nor will they be aroused from their sleep.'
"Our heavenly Father does not love trees more than men. When this old heaven and earth are no more, the dead will be aroused from their sleep. (No, not from their torment, but from their sleep.) These dead ones, including Job himself, will come out of hell, which in Hebrew is 'sheol'. Verses 13 and 14:
"'O that in sheol you would conceal me, that you would keep me secret until your anger turns back, that you would set a time limit for me and remember me! If an able-bodied man dies can he live again?'
"The Scriptures answer Yes! Throughout the Bible this hope is held out for those who now sleep in death. Job goes on to say in verse 14:
"'All the days of my compulsory service I shall wait, until my relief comes.'
"He meant here a relief from his affliction by either being cured or by dying and awaiting a resurrection. Finding relief in 'sheol' or 'hell' may sound foreign to Christendom, but not to those who read the Bible."
Then Ted read the required verses 15-19 which ended:
"'Water certainly rubs away stones; its outpouring washes away earth's dust. So you have destroyed the very hope of mortal man.'
"It had been the hope of many to see the beginning of Christ's millennial reign in their lifetimes. Those who died, however, had their hope destroyed. But notice what kind of men they were, and we are: ‘mortal men’. Not immortal as the majority holds, but mortal as Job contends in God's Word.
"Verses 20-22 conclude the matter, saying:
"'You overpower him forever so that he goes away; you are disfiguring his face so that you send him away. His sons get honored, but he does not know it; and they become insignificant, but he does not consider them. Only his own flesh while upon him will keep aching, and his own soul while within him will keep mourning.'
"The dead have no knowledge of happenings in this world or anywhere. Only while the 'soul' or 'life' is in us can we ache or mourn. When soul or life goes out of us, we go to the grave, or, to use archaic English, we go to 'hell': a place of rest in hope."
When he returned to his seat to hear the praise of the elder in charge of the meeting, Paul slapped him on the shoulder with an "All right, man!" which produced some laughter amongst those seated nearby.
Cyn smiled and clasped his hand, not letting go until he pulled it free to turn the pages of his Bible.
She sneaked off on her own, though, after the meetings, leaving him to discuss the merits of a new presentation with Eric Potter. He watched her out of the corner of his eye until she was lost in the crowd. It appeared she was mingling well.
"Hey, did you hear about what happened to Phyllis and me out in service today?" Eric asked excitedly.
"No, what?"
"We were taking some of her return visits in the trailer court. There were about four or five all clustered together, so we were walking to each one, but not finding anyone at home. Well, when we got to the last one I heard their TV on inside and I said, 'at last we’ve got a live one.' But Phyllis stops dead in her tracks staring at the trailer.
"'What's the matter?' I asked her. She grabs my arm to stop me from going up there. 'C’mon, let's take it,' I said. 'No, not today,' she says, 'let's go back to the car.' I thought that was awful strange, but we walked back and got in the car. Then as we drove by this trailer, the one we didn't take, a guy comes out with a long knife held up like this," he raised his fist to eye-level, "and looks right at us with a demonical expression. Now I would've torn outta there, but Phyllis was driving, and with the same odd expression on her face she drives by the place real slow. It wasn't till we got all the way back to the hall that she broke down and got real scared."
"That's some experience, all right." Ted agreed. "Jehovah really looks after his people, it seems." He was fully impressed with this tale, yet he kept a roving eye out for Cyn. Instead of finding Cyn, though, his eyes stopped at a large group clustered around Phyllis. She was relating the same experience from her own point of view. Ted was getting angry that the girl he'd lost kept interposing herself where the girl he found should be.
"Have you met my new Bible study?" he asked Eric.
"The colored girl? I saw her but I didn't get a chance to talk."
"She's not a girl, she's a woman. And she's not colored, she's black."
"Sorry, I didn't mean anything by it. Hey, speaking of Phyllis, have you heard about her engagement?" Ted bit his lips and shook his head. "Yeah," Eric continued, "she got engaged to Terry Barton last Sunday."
"When's the wedding?" Ted inquired wearily.
"The thirteenth, right here at the hall, a couple hours after the meeting. Everyone's invited."
"I usually go out in service Sunday afternoons, if I'm not visiting Brother Olson, but I’ll see if I can make it. Now if you'll excuse me…" Ted walked away as Eric looked after him with a slightly contemptuous smile.
Searching for Cyn, he spotted Paul going out the door with the Salvayez sisters. "Probably going to show them his new car," he said to himself. He turned around and found himself staring into the face of David Nelson.
"Good evening, Brother Evanston, I see you brought a couple new ones to the meeting, that was real nice. I always like to look out and see new faces. Are you studying with them?"
"Yes. Well, I mean I haven't yet, but we're all set up to begin."
"Are they brother and sister?"
"No, they're not related." As Ted said this, Dale Garvias began a conversation with Brother Nelson that commanded all his attention.
Ted slipped away, glad of the rescue, and found Cyn talking with Sandy Wilson and Shirley Garvias. When he got close enough to be considered as inside their circle of conversation, he attempted to find a verbal opening to enter in; but three women were too much for him. It seemed they were discussing makeup and wondering why Cyn didn't wear any. But soon Cyn herself was left out as the two sisters rattled off fancy brand names and prices.
"It costs a little more, but I'm worth it," said Shirley, echoing a commercial slogan.
"It isn't how much you pay, it's how well you wear it, dear," Sandy thrashed out, "there's only so much money can do…"
Ted guided Cyn away from the quibbling girls and asked if she was ready to go.
"More than ready, I've had enough disappointment tonight. But how are we getting home? Paul left with those two Spanish girls, you know."
Thrown for a loop, he replied, "I saw him go out with them but I didn't know he was taking them home. He'll be back to pick us up, I'm sure."
"No he won't," she corrected with a stern look, "he asked me if we could get our own ride home. He's gonna go and screw their brains out all night long."
"Keep your voice down. Don't talk like that. We don't know." He was standing on shaky ground, otherwise he would've asked her how she could be disappointed in the spiritual paradise. Her expression told him not to dare ask. "I’ll ask Richard if he can give us a ride."
Richard agreed to drop off his family and return for the stranded couple. Soon they found themselves in Richard’s car being driven to Cyn's apartment.
"What really happened to your wife's eye?" Cyn made bold to ask.
"Oh, just a household accident," Richard replied.
"No," Cyn replied hotly, "that's what she was telling everyone at the meeting. I want to know what really happened. I mean, you're supposed to be the 'truth people' and all, so tell the truth."
"One doesn't like to speak of another's clumsiness," Richard replied, smiling into the rearview mirror at her.
"And wasn't that your little boy with the cut over his eye?" Cyn demanded.
"He's always falling down playing baseball on the street," Richard explained, his smile quickly fading.
"And the little boy who cried when I touched his back; it was so sore?" she asked, "He's yours too, isn't he?"
He stared at her in disbelief.
"And Sherri: do clumps of her hair 'accidentally' fall out all the time?"
"What's this, the third degree?" Richard shouted, "They get into fights at school and such. I can't keep track of every little scratch." He smiled up at Ted through the rear-view mirror. Ted was quick to respond with a similar smile, though he was deeply troubled: school had let out over a month ago.
"I had an uncle just like you once," she concluded. After that they sat in silence until they reached her apartment building.
"Can you just wait here a couple minutes?" Ted asked, "I want to talk to Cyn."
"Okay, but don't be alone together in her apartment," Richard warned; "that wouldn't look right."
"We'll just stand in the entryway there," Ted promised.
"No, I won't be able to see you there; temptation's too great at your age. Just stand out in the yard where I can keep an eye on you."
"Good night, Cynthia," Richard called as she and Ted left his car.
She didn't respond. She took Ted's hand and led him to the old oak tree in the front yard. There she pressed his back against the bark where Richard couldn't see them.
"I'm sorry you were disappointed tonight," he apologized, "but I can't imagine why. Didn't you feel the love there -- like what you told Paul?"
"A little, here and there. Mostly from you," she put her arms around his neck, "but there weren't more than three or four I’d care to call my brother or sister."
"Why do you say that? You don't know them yet. You didn't see what they're really like." His voice was pleading. He took her arms down and held both her hands. "I was so happy and proud the way you talked to Paul. It was like you echoed my thoughts and knew how I felt about the Truth. It was almost like me talking: expressing my innermost beliefs in a strange and beautiful language. But now --"
She completed his thought: "Now I'm like a spark that you mistook in my instant for a fire. But that's the way with us poets. We can only feed on what's truly there. When all the fuel's used up, so is our enthusiasm for the whole idea. If it had been like the books and magazines you gave me said, or if I could've seen it the way you see it -- covering up every flaw and making virtues out of shortcomings -- I'd still be aflame."
Richard gave his horn a toot, and Ted rapidly said, "But talk to me in simple English and tell me what bothers you; enough metaphor already!"
She opened her mouth when Richard honked his horn excessively long.
Closing her mouth, she smiled, then said, "I’ll tell you tomorrow. Be here by six and we can talk before we go."
"Go where?"
"Why, to the poetry class, of course. Remember our deal?"
"Oh, yes. But I thought that since you weren't interested in the Truth anymore --"
"Who says I'm not--"
BEEEEEEEEEEP!
"Damn, there he goes again!" Taking the initiative, she suddenly pressed her lips to his, then she ran from his arms and he turned to the car. "Don't forget, six o'clock!" she called after him.
"I won't," he laughed, and hopped in beside a frowning Richard.
"What's six o'clock?" he asked.
"Oh that’s when we're going to meet for our first study: a group study." While this wasn't technically a lie, it was mighty evasive and deceptive. Richard assumed Ted meant a Bible study, as it was fairly inconceivable why he would study anything else in his valuable time, much less poetry.
The next day found Ted too confused to even consider service or work. He feared it might come down to choosing between Cyn and the Truth, and he wasn't strong enough to make the right decision. Suddenly he remembered how he'd been repeatedly told that Satan would try his best to get him out of the Truth before he was baptized and immediately thereafter. "Of course!" he shouted, hitting himself on the forehead in imitation of the gesture Richard had long ago abandoned as unbecoming a future elder. It all fit so well: Cyn was nothing else than sin incarnate that the Devil was using to lure him away the week of his baptism! She was magnifying the brothers’ imperfections way out of proportion to purposely mislead him.
It didn't occur to him at this point that Cyn had in fact said little about such imperfections, and that most of these thoughts he attributed to her were actually thoughts in his own mind of things she couldn't possibly know about. But since it was too painful to think of himself as criticizing the brothers, he projected his own thoughts into her mouth.
The best thing, he concluded, would be not to go that night to see her. He had given his word, it's true, but he felt entitled to back out of a pact with the Devil.
Having simplified matters thus and relieved himself of the pangs of confusion, he felt much better. He spent the day underlining in his study books and daydreaming about the rapidly approaching convention.
When Paul came home that forenoon, Ted felt even better -- almost as good as the time that Cyn had kissed him when they were roller-skating. Paul had heard of Phyllis and Eric's experience and was now more determined than ever to become a true-blue Jehovah’s Witness. He even started studying with Ted in the Truth book, but being too tired he climbed into bed after the first two pages. It didn't occur to Ted to be angry with Paul about last night; all his anger was taken up with Cyn and her supposed satanic dealings. Nor did it dawn on him to inquire if Paul had played the gentleman with the Salvayez sisters. Ted was practicing the very talent Cyn had told him of last night behind the tree.
He remained in this exaltation of denial until exactly twenty-two minutes after six. It was at that time that a soft rapping was heard on his door followed by Cyn's voice.
"Ted? Are you in there?"
He had the radio on, so there was no pretending not to be home. Besides, he'd been told that pretending not to be home constituted telling a lie to the person at the door. Accordingly, he opened it, and in stepped a concerned-looking Cynthia.
"What's the matter," she asked, "Why didn't you come?"
"I don't know, I thought it best. I mean, well -- how did you know where I lived?"
"I talked to Vonnie last night. But why didn't you come? You promised, and I thought you were honest."
"I am. But I thought you might lead me out of the Truth. I'm getting baptized Sunday, Jehovah willing, and I've got to stay clean for that."
"Well I won't dirty you! That's rather insulting, you know."
"I'm sorry, I just thought it was for the best if I didn't see you again."
"And here I wrote you a poem I was going to surprise you with tonight at the reading. Some surprise!" She sat down on the edge of the sofa with her chin cradled in her palm, pouting like a child. It was, all the same, a very sexy pout that softened the daylong hardening of his heart.
"Did you really write me a poem?" he asked, at last.
"Yeah, but I’ll just throw it away now. Now it doesn't mean anything. I’ll just go there and sit and listen to the others read their life-feelings."
"All right, I did give my word. I’ll go."
"No, I don't want to force you to do anything against your religion -- like feel. You just stay home and underline in your books."
"No, really, I want to go now. I want to be with you. It's like a spell you cast over me whenever I'm near you; I become addicted to you."
"So now I'm a witch, huh?"
"Must you turn my clumsy compliments into left-handed ones?" Ted despaired.
She had to laugh at this, and as soon as she did, she was elevated out of the dumps.
She left her bike on Richard’s front porch, and they rode the bus together to the campus. They were late and walked in just as the instructor was finishing explaining what the assignment had been. But from the readings that followed, Ted gathered that it had something to do with periods of time related to cosmic or emotional events. The more lucid lines ran like: "When time has ticked its very last/And all eternity is past/ My puny heart, so weak, yet true/ Will keep on beating love for you."
Most of it went by him without leaving much impression until a familiar looking man walked to the front of the room and began reading a poem about God's beard.
"I think I know him," Ted confided to her, "but I can't place him exactly. Judging from his poem he's not a Witness." He studied the man's features with greater care, catching a few of the lines as he watched his mouth.
"Before all time began, you know,
The future hair slept in the root.
And when it first began to grow
God's beard came black as chimney-soot."
It had to be either a return-visit or someone he knew at work, Ted deduced.
"No peach-fuzzed adolescent stage
But right away a virile God
All filled with manly wrath and rage…"
"I know who it is," Ted thought to himself, occupying himself with the man's identity rather than his blasphemy, "it's Bill Jackson, the accountant at work. I only saw him that one time at work, that's why I could hardly remember him."
"It's men what turned God's hair all gray
Put wrinkles on his cherub-face
And made him age and pass away
Into the very ends of space
In search of dye from blackest hole.
The angels took his yanked-out hair
And wove a shroud for God's dead soul
and left him buried everywhere.
They even buried him in hearts
That wait for time that never starts."
"That was terrible," Ted whispered to Cyn, "Everybody writes about God being dead. If he were, we'd all be dead too. I hope yours isn't like that."
"Mine's worse:" she smiled, standing up with her eyes focused on the podium, "in mine he's still alive."
She cut a very pleasing figure standing before the small group. She showed no sign of apprehension, but took command of all ears, and through them, all minds at once.
"This poem," she began, "is entitled 'Weather-Beaten and Truth-Seasoned' and it's dedicated to Ted Evanston:"
 
"I.
Out of a winter's death we rise
To new life in spring.
In sudden surprise
Truth-bells ring!
The thrill in our souls,
The ecstasy, the height,
Of reaching new goals
In warmth of new light!
II.
In the blazing summer heat
The light grows brighter still.
We put away milk for meat
And seek to do His will.
This heart of mine
In summer's youth
Feels the sun shine
And loves the truth.
III.
But should autumn ever come
And the light grow dim;
Should we lose the sun,
And should we lose Him:
Our hearts would sink
And cease to soar.
We'd stand on the brink
And seek no more.
IV.
When frozen truth-bells
Crack, and cease to Chime,
Our heavens turn to hells,
And truth's a dozen for a dime…
Then autumn falls to winter's death.
The pearly gates are frozen shut.
Our prayers are stuck in frozen breath,
Answered only by His 'So what?'"
Before she sat down another had taken her place and was reciting, but Ted only heard her sour words repeating in his mind. Had he so utterly failed to prove to her that God cares? He now felt as cold towards her as the imaginary winter of her discontented poem.
Following the last reading the instructor read a few "professional"
poems as an example of what to do for next week. The class being over, Ted quickly made his way over to Bill Jackson in order to get away from Cyn and having to comment on her poem. It didn't work too well, however, as she followed right behind him.
"Hi, remember me?" Ted began.
"Sure, you're the Jehovah's Witness from work," Bill replied, 'I'm surprised to see you here. So you like poetry as well as religion I take it?"
"Not as well, no. Not hardly. This is Cynthia Rose," he introduced, touching her shoulder, "she's the poet. I just tagged along tonight."
Bill's knowing smile caused Ted to recall that he naturally knew all this from having just heard her read her poem. He felt he'd better try to get mastery of the situation and returned to his own ground; "In regards to your poem, Mr. Jackson, would you tell me how we could be alive if God were dead?"
Not wishing to debate the matter fully, Bill imitated Paul before the divided Sanhedrin (Acts 23:6-8) and said, "I will, if you will first tell me what difference it makes if he is dead or if he answers all our needs with a 'so what?'" This of course meant discussing and disagreeing with Cyn's poem, the very thing he set out to avoid by talking with Bill in the first place. He looked at Cyn and then at Bill and shrugged.
"Well then, let's drop the subject, shall we?" Bill suggested. "I've had some interesting reports on your work lately."
"Oh really? Good or bad?"
"I don't know. To quote my source, you're 'one hell of a worker' Maybe you can tell me, what exactly does the adjective 'hell' here mean? I'm confused in this matter because this same gentleman (and I use the term loosely) often says 'hot' or 'cold' as 'hell', or that someone's work is like 'hell', or he'll reply to some request of mine with 'Hell, what do you expect me to do?' So what do you suppose he meant by saying that you were a 'hell of a worker'?"
Those standing about had interrupted their own chitchat to pay heed to Bill's speech. Several of them smiled at his feigned ignorance. But Ted answered him fearlessly: "Hell is an Old English word meaning covered or hidden. They used to say, for instance, that they were 'helling potatoes', which meant they were storing them away in the root cellar till next year. In the Bible it is used synonymously with the common grave of mankind."
"Ted just gave a wonderful talk about hell last night at his church," Cyn noted, "you should've hear him, it was great!"
"I see," Bill continued with an odd look, "so what he meant was that your work was hidden. But then how could he have seen it and reported it to me? You really shouldn't hide your work, you know; you're supposed to warehouse everything where we can find it."
This last remark brought some chuckles from the surrounding audience. "Well, what he had in mind and what the Bible means by the word are two different things," Ted explained, "You see, if you analyze all the Biblical usages of the word --"
"Oh please don't mention the Bible again," Bill implored, holding his fingertips to his temple as if suffering from a headache, "you'll bring on an attack of my homilophobia."
At this there was a burst of laughter from two or three who were instantly asked by the others to define homilophobia. But as this was taking place, Cyn took Ted by the arm and tugged, saying, "Let's go, Ted, he's just showing off." As they slipped out of the room they heard one of the men translate; "It means a morbid dread of sermons."
On the way back they had occasion to talk on the bus about everything. She realized that he wasn't as disappointed in her meeting as she had been in his. Nonetheless, she knew he hadn't liked any of it.
Since this was so obvious, he directed their talk to last night's meeting. In answer to his query, he got far more than he bargained for: "Okay, first of all," she began, "the guy you raved so much about as being the world's most eloquent speaker of truth beats his kids and his wife!
"Then, all that the girls talk about is makeup. And they're in competition with each other to see who wears the best clothes." She paused after this initial burst of anger to catch her breath, then continued, "And who was that guy who gave a talk -- I don't remember what it was about, something to do with time-slips -- the one with the pencil-thin mustache?"
"Brother Nelson. David Nelson," Ted explained, "he's an elder."
"He might be old," she replied, "but I wouldn't accord him any honors for that."
"What have you got against him?"
"It's hard to define exactly, but the man has no love in his heart. He reminds me of a stern taskmaster always ready with a coiled whip behind his back. He never smiles! There's so much hostility inside him that I was afraid it might burst forth at any moment. He's inwardly frustrated, you can tell that as soon as you meet his wife: I spoke with her and she was so cold I swear the hairs on the back of my neck stood up! "
"We try to avoid concentrating on personalities," Ted informed her.
"Well I don't. I need to look at people for what they are, not just what group they belong to. And they do that too, with that George Butler."
"Now you're going to say something against him too, I suppose?" Ted sighed.
"No, I'm going to say something good about him and about the Witnesses, but you might take it differently. You told me that they sort of ignore him because he's black and that you're the only one who really talks to him. But that's just where personality comes in; if he's just one of the group, he should be treated like everyone else. They treat him differently because he personally views the religion differently from everyone else there."
"How's that?" he asked.
"You see? You never bothered to find out. He never used to go to the meetings till his wife died. She was in it for years, and her dying request was to have him start going to meetings. So he does, but his heart isn’t in it. In fact, he still goes to the Baptist church every Sunday. But he’s one of the few coming to the Kingdom Hall out of love: love for his dead wife.
"Want to hear more?" she asked.
"I suppose you ought to let it all out," he said, sighing again.
"Well then, if you can take it, I’ll tell you exactly why you are in it."
"I’m in it because it’s the truth," he insisted.
"From what you’ve told me," she continued, "it’s obvious that you got into It as a defiance and rebellion against your mother. Everybody rebels against their parents at your age, just like I did against my uncle. It was only when you heard Richard win an argument with your mother that you got involved with the Witnesses. When you saw them openly laughing at your parents, you naturally joined in."
"That’s what you think?" he asked, trying to sound shocked. He took a deep breath and continued, "I can’t deny that there’s some truth to what you say, at least in the beginning. But now I’m only in it because it’s the truth. That’s the only reason I stayed, regardless of why I first came in."
"You really believe that, and that’s why I love you," she said. She took his hand in hers once more and stared deep into his eyes. "I love you," she repeated.
Seeing that no response, other than a nervous perspiration was forthcoming, she concluded, "And that feeling is so deep that I could believe too. You can be my Major Barbara, and I’ll be your Adolphus Cusins."
"What in the world does that mean?" he asked.
"Haven't you ever read or seen Major Barbara by George Bernard Shaw?" she asked in surprise. Ted shook his head, so she explained: "Well, she's a Major in the Salvation Army whom this Greek scholar, Adolphus Cusins falls in love with. Although he's much too educated to believe in the doctrines of the Salvation Army, he joins in with a gusto out of love for her."
"It shouldn't be like that," he frowned, shaking his head thoughtfully, "you have to come into the Truth because it's the truth, not out of love for me (though I'm grateful for it) but out of love for God."
"That's funny. Here you just admitted your motive for coming in was defiance of your mother, and now you say I can only come in because it's the truth. Let me join in for my own reason, like you and everyone else, and then in time I too can make ‘truth’ the reason for staying."
"It's probably a better reason than Paul's, I guess. He's just coming in out of fear and hope of protection. He heard about Phyllis' experience, and that, combined with a dream he had, is his sole motivation."
"You see!" she exclaimed, "now you're beginning to look at people just the way I do! I'm already rubbing off on you; we two are becoming one! But now that I've told you my reactions to your meeting, Ted, it's your turn to tell me what you thought of mine."
"I can't say that I cared for it much. All those poems seemed to have some anti-religious meaning in them somewhere. And then afterwards everyone just milled about looking for clever conversation or put-downs."
"Yes," she agreed, "that Bill Jackson's always showing off like that, displaying his intelligence to everyone with obscure words. Some of his observations on common speech are enlightening, though. I’ll bet you were surprised to meet someone you knew from work. But what did you think of my poem?"
Ted had to make a hasty decision between two evils: should he lie and spare Cyn's feelings or be honest and hurt her? He made the wrong decision. "I really didn't like it at all," he blurted out. And then, as if to apologize for being so blunt, "Well, really, I did like the first part about coming into the Truth, but the last half seemed out of place."
"Maybe you'll be able to place it in the future," she replied.
At this point they reached their stop. They got off the bus and walked to Ted's. There she picked up her bike, and after arranging for the big convention the next day she rode off.
Of the four exciting but drawn-out convention days in the huge, overflowing auditorium, Sunday, the last, was the greatest for them.
For Cyn the convention consisted of sitting next to Ted through tedious talks, standing and singing unfamiliar songs, volunteering with him for work in the cafeteria, forgetting the names of hundreds of new acquaintances as quickly as she heard them, and carefully reading each and every Scripture Ted looked up and pointed to in his Bible. When Sunday finally arrived, however, it was exhilarating for Cyn to stand with the crowd near the hotel's swimming pool (rented specifically for the occasion) and watch the lines of young men and women wade in and be dipped under in baptism.
Ted couldn't locate Cyn in the mass of relatives shooting off their cameras. He was shaking slightly and praying fervently. Vaguely aware of the brothers conversing behind him and the ones laughing in front of him, he stared at the lapping water to keep his eyes off the adjacent line of sisters attired in one-piece swimsuits.
At last he was there, waiting for a brother just baptized to climb up the ladder so he could descend. He said congratulations to him as he passed by. Turning his back to the water Ted placed his right foot on the top rung and saw a view of several hundred legs. Now would be the time to spring up to freedom, now would be that most excellent time to chuck it all and run for a life of pleasure rather than abstinence. It would be so easy to do -- legs in the right position, back to the water -- just run and never look back. Cyn didn't believe in it, and she wanted him. He could have her if it wasn't for all this nonsense. What good is holding your nose and being bent backwards into icy water by some perfect stranger? It's stupid! Childish! Idiotic!
But Ted ignored Satan's cries. They were recognized by him as Satan’s last-ditch attempt to keep him from symbolizing his dedication to Jehovah. He jumped off the ladder, walked over to the waiting arms of a brother, and, at the same moment that a sister was emerging and another brother was plunging into the water, Ted was baptized.
He felt for one moment the cool waters swallow him up, the strong confident arms of this unknown brother hold him under, his own legs raising out of the water in compensation, and another brother pushing them back down. And then, there was a feeling divine. At first he felt like he'd reentered his mother's womb: that most perfect abode with the liquid walls and constant nourishment, where everything was beautiful, every want instantly seen to, every care immediately abolished.
Then he recognized it for what it was: Jehovah God in heaven was in spiritual contact with him. The heavens were opened up and a bright light filled every corner of his mind with the Divine Essence. A special kind of love filled his heart and made it leap for joy. Christ touched his head and called him brother; Jehovah touched his heart and called him son. The waters parted and he ascended.
"Congratulations, brother," smiled the one who'd just baptized him.
"Thank you," Ted replied, stunned by the experience. After walking past the remainder of the line and being congratulated by each one waiting his turn, he made it to the locker room, dried off, and dressed.
Cyn was waiting for him in the hall and hugged him the moment he was near enough. "Oh, I'm so happy for you!"
As they were hugging he saw Richard approaching. "Sorry I missed it," Richard apologized, "but they only allow relatives in to see the baptisms."
Cyn chuckled at this; she hadn't known until then that Ted broke a rule to let her see his big moment.
Richard offered his congratulations and, after making sure that all hugging had ceased, went on his way.
Ted almost called him back; instead, he took Cyn's hand and led her out of the hotel onto the street. They walked quickly to the park-like surroundings of the auditorium a few blocks away and sat down on a bench.
"It happened!" he began, "I never dreamed it would happen to me, but it did!"
"What? What is it?" she inquired excitedly.
"I was born again! Anointed! I'm one of the anointed! Do you know what that means?" She was shaking her head and saying no, but he just continued with more questions and exclamations: "Do you know how long it's been since Jehovah's anointed someone with his holy spirit? Why should he do so now? Why pick me? Boy am I unworthy of this!"
"Slow down," she cautioned, "don't get so worked up. I'm really happy for you, but tell me just what it means, please."
"It means that God has picked me for heavenly life as one of the 144,000 joint heirs or ‘brothers’ of Christ to rule in heaven over the earth in the millennium! The only way this could've happened is if some anointed brother fell away recently and I was needed to take his place in order to fill up the number to 144,000. I can hardly believe it!"
"How do you know he chose you?" she asked without sounding too skeptical.
"I felt it. It's hard to explain in words, but I felt him choosing me. It wasn't a vision or anything, just a feeling, but I'm sure of it!"
"You're in touch with your feelings now!" she smiled, "I'm glad. I can readily understand how you can feel sure from an emotional feeling. I think it's beautiful."
At the next Tuesday night meeting, Ted finished relating his experience of baptism with the words: "And I was born again!"
David Nelson raised his left eyebrow which made Cyn, who was hanging on Ted's right arm, giggle.
"You weren't born again," Richard contradicted with a condescending smile.
"I know, I can hardly believe it myself," Ted replied excitedly.
"You think you were born again," David emphasized, "but after we do some soul-searching in the Scriptures, you'll get a proper view of the matter. Come with me." And with that he led Ted out to the van.
"Can you imagine that?" Elvira Nelson exclaimed, "I wonder how he ever got such a crazy notion!"
"I know, " Cyn volunteered with the little group still in formation about her, "he listened to his feelings. Of course for someone without feelings, that's inconceivable." She looked straight at Elvira, smiled mockingly, and nodded in her direction as she said this so that there was no doubt as to whom she was referring to.
"Well!" Elvira responded and walked away in a huff.
"We don't want to say that the door to the heavenly calling is absolutely closed," David patiently explained to Ted, "but we know that Jehovah called his little flock first and now the call is generally going out to the other sheep. The vast majority of Jehovah's people today are of the earthly other sheep since 1935. And if any brother of the heavenly calling had proved himself unfaithful, God would've chosen someone in his place long before now…" And so he talked on and on, breaking down Ted's firm belief in his higher calling.
"Besides," David continued, "it doesn't just happen all of a sudden at baptism that one knows he's of the --"
"Are you going to be in there all night?" Elvira interrupted as she suddenly flung the van's door wide open. "Come on, I want to get home."
With that she walked over to their car leaving the van door open.
David obediently left the van without a word and hurried to his car, leaving Ted to shut the van door after him.
Cyn was standing outside the Hall door. "Well, did he talk you out of it?" she asked.
Ted looked perplexed for a moment, and then, brightening, said: "No. He made me think, which is something I’ve been neglecting ever since it happened, but he didn’t talk me out of it. How can you talk someone out of a feeling?"
That Sunday after the meeting, they attended Phyllis’ and Terry’s wedding. Ted didn’t tell Cyn what Phyllis once meant, or what he thought she once meant to him; that seemed ancient history now. He concentrated on the emotion-packed wedding talk that the brother presiding over the wedding gave. The brother described how woman was designed as a helpmate to man and a complement to him. How the roles of marriage were defined: partners, yet with the woman subject to her husband who is the head of the house and her superior. How the man was to make allowances for the "weaker vessel", and how the Bible should always be their guiding light.
At the end of the talk, Cyn leaned over to Ted and whispered, "Want to be next?"
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